life.
i don't even know where to start.
SNOWBOARDING. i'm in love with a guy that i snowboard with every weekend, but we don't talk. we're friends on facebook but he won't really reply back to me.
DECA. i'm in a marketing organization, and i'm going to state this weekend to compete. Hopefully i move on to nationals, because then i'd be going to Anaheim, CA! My project is on taking chipotle to sweden. I really hope it works out, because i love my project. I've been close to killing my partner a couple of times though. it's working out currently, but WOW she was about to be hung.
LOVE. i'm also in love with this guy named Simon, but that's nothing new. i've been in love with him for the past 5 years, but we don't talk either. he has absolutely NO idea. but his face, his smile, his voice, his hair, his persona, everything about him is perfect! I also met this boy, although he is a year and a half younger than i am. I just kind of COMPLETELY fell for him. He's nice, and he's the only person that actually makes me feel good about myself. Our high school band is going to Austria soon, and i think we're sitting on the plane together. So we get to bond for 8 hours. I talk to him more than i talk to some of my best friends. How can i have such an amazing bond with him, and not with anyone else? I don't even get it. Why do i have to love the boys i can't have?!!
DEATH. My grandpa died about 3 weeks ago. It was one of the saddest things of my life. It was the first time all of my cousins and i really bonded. Literally, i held hands with my cousin alexandra, and we just sat there and cried. It was the also the first open casket i've ever seen. I saw it, and just cried hysterically. I was pretty uncontrollable. Then there were pictures all around the room of me with him from the time i was a baby until recently, and i broke down.
WEIGHT.one of the biggest fucking issues of my life. I will probably swear about 20 times in the next 5 seconds. but i'm at 156 pounds as of this morning. i made a goal to myself on new years that i would write everything down, and for the first month, i lost about 10 pounds and it was fantastic, but now, i'm fucking back to where i started and i have to look professional this weekend for DECA and i'm fatter than everyone else, and so my skirts and pants and jackets obviously don't look as good as everyone else. And i can't loose 20 pounds in the next 3 days, otherwise i would do whatever it fucking takes, the problem is that i'm always with my parents for dinner and shit, so they always watch what i eat, and i just can't get around it. i tell myself when i go to bed that i won't eat the next day, but then LOW AND BEHOLD......i eat. wow, what a FUCKING SHOCKER. what the fuck do i do? i need to loose weight fucking NOW. i'm going to shoot a bitch until i am fucking normal again. i can't fucking stand comparing myself to everyone, every day, every minute, every second. it's pretty much all i concentrate on.
HOOK UPS. I don't remember what i've explained, but there was ryan, who's a bitch. we made out a lot but he only talks about himself. I REALLY WANT HIM STILL. my plan is to get really drunk next weekend and then call him and tell him i want him, but he never asks me about myself. And also, he told me his parents are going to be out of town like the first weekend of April....OOOOHHHHH. what's going down? idk yet. I actually just texted him because of this, and he asked me what's up! i don't think you realize that's a big deal. I acutually don't know what i would do if we decided to hook up again, i'm so scared of anything else, considering i'm REALLY inexperienced. aaahhh.
NFTY. i'm running for president again emily. fuck that i'm going to win. i'm actually completely not sure and i have so many doubts. but she is just such a fucking cunt, i could care less.
this was so long. but that's my life.
i realize no one reads this, but if you do, send me a hello
SNOWBOARDING. i'm in love with a guy that i snowboard with every weekend, but we don't talk. we're friends on facebook but he won't really reply back to me.
DECA. i'm in a marketing organization, and i'm going to state this weekend to compete. Hopefully i move on to nationals, because then i'd be going to Anaheim, CA! My project is on taking chipotle to sweden. I really hope it works out, because i love my project. I've been close to killing my partner a couple of times though. it's working out currently, but WOW she was about to be hung.
LOVE. i'm also in love with this guy named Simon, but that's nothing new. i've been in love with him for the past 5 years, but we don't talk either. he has absolutely NO idea. but his face, his smile, his voice, his hair, his persona, everything about him is perfect! I also met this boy, although he is a year and a half younger than i am. I just kind of COMPLETELY fell for him. He's nice, and he's the only person that actually makes me feel good about myself. Our high school band is going to Austria soon, and i think we're sitting on the plane together. So we get to bond for 8 hours. I talk to him more than i talk to some of my best friends. How can i have such an amazing bond with him, and not with anyone else? I don't even get it. Why do i have to love the boys i can't have?!!
DEATH. My grandpa died about 3 weeks ago. It was one of the saddest things of my life. It was the first time all of my cousins and i really bonded. Literally, i held hands with my cousin alexandra, and we just sat there and cried. It was the also the first open casket i've ever seen. I saw it, and just cried hysterically. I was pretty uncontrollable. Then there were pictures all around the room of me with him from the time i was a baby until recently, and i broke down.
WEIGHT.one of the biggest fucking issues of my life. I will probably swear about 20 times in the next 5 seconds. but i'm at 156 pounds as of this morning. i made a goal to myself on new years that i would write everything down, and for the first month, i lost about 10 pounds and it was fantastic, but now, i'm fucking back to where i started and i have to look professional this weekend for DECA and i'm fatter than everyone else, and so my skirts and pants and jackets obviously don't look as good as everyone else. And i can't loose 20 pounds in the next 3 days, otherwise i would do whatever it fucking takes, the problem is that i'm always with my parents for dinner and shit, so they always watch what i eat, and i just can't get around it. i tell myself when i go to bed that i won't eat the next day, but then LOW AND BEHOLD......i eat. wow, what a FUCKING SHOCKER. what the fuck do i do? i need to loose weight fucking NOW. i'm going to shoot a bitch until i am fucking normal again. i can't fucking stand comparing myself to everyone, every day, every minute, every second. it's pretty much all i concentrate on.
HOOK UPS. I don't remember what i've explained, but there was ryan, who's a bitch. we made out a lot but he only talks about himself. I REALLY WANT HIM STILL. my plan is to get really drunk next weekend and then call him and tell him i want him, but he never asks me about myself. And also, he told me his parents are going to be out of town like the first weekend of April....OOOOHHHHH. what's going down? idk yet. I actually just texted him because of this, and he asked me what's up! i don't think you realize that's a big deal. I acutually don't know what i would do if we decided to hook up again, i'm so scared of anything else, considering i'm REALLY inexperienced. aaahhh.
NFTY. i'm running for president again emily. fuck that i'm going to win. i'm actually completely not sure and i have so many doubts. but she is just such a fucking cunt, i could care less.
this was so long. but that's my life.
i realize no one reads this, but if you do, send me a hello