found writings
found these in another journal and I wanted them some place where I could come back to them.
FUCK OFF!!!
your anger fuels a cold fire within my heart
and I repeat to you the meaning you said politely to me, "fuck off and go away".
out of my mind the way you're out of my life.
fuck off from this taunting of memory
leave me in peace, so that I can grow and learn and live without regret for everything I do to you.
leave my sleep so I dream peacfully.
Leave my toughts so I can think of things to do for other people.
let me be. let me rest in peace.
I want you dead to me. never more to be seen or heard.
I want our past burried and forgotten so that
I can start anew and
move on from my grevious mistake.
From the Beginning of the end
As the songs of other loves play
I sit and watch the rain.
As the lightnight flashes across the sky
I think of you and what I could never say
that might, just might, bring me back your loving face.
As the thunder crashes through the sky
I dream of you.
And write this song to you.
When I'm alone, I feel you missing me
the way that I miss you
and when i close my eyes
I can picture you longing for me still.
When all is still, and there's no work to be done,
I can feel you thinkig of me fondly
and I mss you all te more.
So I'm writing this song by the flashes that break the night
thinking of what to say that will make everything alright.
And as the lightning flashes in the sky
I think of you and wonder why?
how a tuneless song
a tuneless song
a tuneless song
I'm writing a tunelss song for you.
You broungt the melody to my harmony
and I'm nothing but empty air without you.
And so I write a tuneless song
a tuneles song
a rambling song
to win you back to me.
You brought direction to my rambling feet
and I'm lost in stillness without you.
and so I write a rambling song, a tuneless song,
a rambling song, to win you back to me.
The crack of thunder across my face
keeps me looking for your warm embrace.
The soung of rain on the window sill
has me looking for your laughter still.
and when it rains it sometimes pours
and I see all the trees we could share
if I just held your hand
and when it rains sometimes I feel
you warm against me as we kiss under the trees
in the rain.
and as the songs of other loves play
the rain pours down with memories so gay.
and I try to think of what I could say
to bring you back to me.
"and as I sit and wach to snow fall down,
I don't miss you at all.
I don't miss you at all."
The sanity of pain
the pain lets me know I'm alive.
I look because it hurts
and hurting at least has feeling
and it's feeling that's caused by you.
Pain is better than nothing at all.
And I wonder do you miss me?
And I wonder do you care?
Do you ever lay awake at night
and wish that I was there?
And I see your face in my memories
and I read your life in your blog
and I wish that life didn't carry on
and that you at least notice I'm gone.
And I look because it's painful.
I look because it's real.
I look to see your life move on
away from the pain I feel.
And I wonder do you miss me?
I wonder, "do you care?"
Do you ever try to find a way
to bring us back last year?