(no subject)
A new mantra has been working it's way into my thought stream.
I had a dream I met a girl that was from eastern europe...
just as we were getting to know one another her visa expired...
A fishing trip is on the radar...I don't think I've ever stayed out alone without Shayla. By monday afternoon my traveling disposition should change.
Been looking for another place, but Aidan and I are really comfortable here. Been thinking about testing the waters with the owner about the dog...coming up with an excuse..."oh she's dying and I'm looking for another place..." yeah something like that, just until it's understood that she's not or never has been a problem. Control.
Narcissism; I sort of blame on GH and just have a feeling my adventures came up in conversation between the two weirdo's and that's what I hate about working with/for other people, especially G.H. who has good moral character, but is the dullest personality I've ever known ("all work and no play"-proven). I always get the feeling from him that somehow he thinks he''s better or more important but without ever having to face the challenge of competition. Not once, through his "slow down" (stoppage) did he ever inquire on how my financial situation was, not once did he ever show concern; after two point five years of making him look good, my life was a non-issue. But through that time I persevered and put myself in a better position than I've been in-in a long time.
And now that things are picking up and he's getting more opportunity, he's expecting me to once again throw my own priorities aside and help him support all the overhead he's established. He's going to have to sweeten the pot for me to make him a priority after the miserable eight months his company has given me.
(Really, I hate thinking on this level, especially so early in the morning on a Sunday, but the issue remains and other opportunities are calling). I haven't discussed any of my other options with him, but have given him the childish notion that they're there...When he asked me what kind of insurance I was getting (undoubtedly, wondering if I was getting business insurance), I let him know that I couldn't afford truck insurance for over six months, haven't been to the dentist in three years or haven't had health insurance in two and a half years and since I came to work for him. I wondered if he had to put off any of his responsibilities.
It was a mistake letting him make me an employee. After taxes, there's barely enough money to live on working full time...and I still have to use my truck, my tools, and have to maintain all the same things as if I were in business, but can't write them off as I did as a contractor. This has to change... when I didn't have work over the winter, all I managed to collected from unemployment was six hundred dollars.
You can't depend on anyone.