(no subject)
I've been 30 all of three weeks now, and perhaps thankfully, it doesn't seem like such a landmark. I figure it'd be one of those big crisis days only if I felt my life was in drastic need of overhaul; and being the lucky son of a bitch I am, I'm feeling alright. As trite as it may sound, it feels like things are coming together. I feel like if I were still in Korea, teaching for pennies, three weeks ago would have been a nightmare. It's strange to even say that though. As hard as I've tried to resist it, my sense of self-worth and esteem is tied to a large degree to my paycheck. I don't make that much money, so I guess my sense of self-worth mustn't be all that high either. Nevertheless, I feel "normal" - as normal as my friends go, I guess. For instance, flying back to Canada will not be the same chore this summer as it was last winter, when that ticket was worth nearly half my monthly salary. I can go to Vegas for bachelor parties now knowing it's a hit to the wallet without it hindering any long term plans. The preceding few senteneces sound so shallow, superficial, and immature - laughable even, if you've been well-off for ages. I guess all I'm trying to say here is that it's nice not having money be at the forefront of all my worries day in and day out anymore. It's maybe second place now.
Of course, not all the satisfaction I'm feeling these days at 30 derive solely from my compared-to-others-meager-but-personally-satisfying pay bump from Korea to Hong Kong, but also joy from a classroom perspective. The past nine months have far exceeded anything I ever hoped for from a professional standpoint. While I loved teaching my Korean kids from DFL, and still maintain close with them, there was always a separation marked by language. That chasm was often bridged with patience, laughter, and smiles. Lots of smiles. I feel like I succeeded to a sufficient degree as far as getting those kids to break out of their shells a bit to the point where we could engange in meaningful interactions that weren't relegated to "Hi, how are you today?", "Oh, I'm fine." Despite this modest success, I could never relate to those students beyond what was on the worksheet or on the basketball court. At the end of the day, the language barrier prevented any kind of "teachable" moments - the off the worksheet stuff. What I have found in my time since the move to HK is that the week is full of teachable moments. I feel like these are the moments that humanize you as a teacher, that you're not the person at the front of the class just going through the curriculum. In my limited Cantonese, which vastly outpaces my Korean, I can engage in more personal interactions and exchanges that have been enriching for me, and hopefully the kids. Granted, I'm not supposed to be speaking Cantonese period in the school, but I'm not too dogmatic about it. But that's an entire post on its own for another day. My goal by the end of year two was to have fully entrenched myself in the school culture via good, solid and meaningful classes, and also extra-curriculars. In all honesty, this was a means to an end - to not be expendable when contract renewal time comes up. But from that insincerity has come something totally different - a really strong relationship with the kids to the point where they come to me with non-English class related "stuff". Beyond what I might be able to guide them through or help them with, I feed as much off of their energy to continue to want to do something bigger and better.
31. Bring it on.
Of course, not all the satisfaction I'm feeling these days at 30 derive solely from my compared-to-others-meager-but-personally-satisfying pay bump from Korea to Hong Kong, but also joy from a classroom perspective. The past nine months have far exceeded anything I ever hoped for from a professional standpoint. While I loved teaching my Korean kids from DFL, and still maintain close with them, there was always a separation marked by language. That chasm was often bridged with patience, laughter, and smiles. Lots of smiles. I feel like I succeeded to a sufficient degree as far as getting those kids to break out of their shells a bit to the point where we could engange in meaningful interactions that weren't relegated to "Hi, how are you today?", "Oh, I'm fine." Despite this modest success, I could never relate to those students beyond what was on the worksheet or on the basketball court. At the end of the day, the language barrier prevented any kind of "teachable" moments - the off the worksheet stuff. What I have found in my time since the move to HK is that the week is full of teachable moments. I feel like these are the moments that humanize you as a teacher, that you're not the person at the front of the class just going through the curriculum. In my limited Cantonese, which vastly outpaces my Korean, I can engage in more personal interactions and exchanges that have been enriching for me, and hopefully the kids. Granted, I'm not supposed to be speaking Cantonese period in the school, but I'm not too dogmatic about it. But that's an entire post on its own for another day. My goal by the end of year two was to have fully entrenched myself in the school culture via good, solid and meaningful classes, and also extra-curriculars. In all honesty, this was a means to an end - to not be expendable when contract renewal time comes up. But from that insincerity has come something totally different - a really strong relationship with the kids to the point where they come to me with non-English class related "stuff". Beyond what I might be able to guide them through or help them with, I feed as much off of their energy to continue to want to do something bigger and better.
31. Bring it on.