Running away

[purplerhino]

Who: Scraps, Glitch, and Sarah
Where: Ambrose’s lab then elsewhere
What: Some unexpected (yeah right)
When: January 21st. Noonish

Glitch watched Scraps work, hunched over the table.  There was this little line between her coppery eyebrows and she looked at the box in her hand, then at the schematics that the other part of him had three

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[rebelyell_sarah]

Scraps' abrupt admission of what was causing her to run caught her off guard and caused her eyes to widen slightly. "Oh," she replied lamely, already struggling to keep up with the fast paced speech.

"Well, that's not necessarily true," she tried to point out quickly. "It just has to be... with the right person, I guess." Sarah made a face herself though, she wasn't all too convinced of that logic herself.

This was kind of funny, really. Scraps was the second person to come to her about a kiss, and she was probably the person with the least positive experiences in that area. Sarah fell into a chair herself, automatically setting her chin in her palm as the mixed up girl continued.

She winced at the next part; she knew that feeling all too well. It was a shame Scraps knew it too. "Kissing is..." she sighed in attempt to explain. "Kissing is sacred, not bad. But the men that have kissed you like that, they didn't follow the rules of kissing. They did a bad thing. That doesn't make kissing bad."

But Scraps had already learned this apparently, judging by the way she was gushing about how she liked it. And Glitch no less, now that was downright adorable. "Sounds like a good kiss to me," she smiled softly. Then she leaned in to whisper. "I think that's how kisses are supposed to feel."

"But, I'm pretty sure he likes you too," she nodded. "And from the sound of things, I think you like him too..." she suggested wisely.

"And you know what, Scraps? That's perfectly okay. Just relax."

[scraps_molly]

"I do like him." Scraps said in a small voice." She let her forefinger trace the pattern of the woodgrain on the table.

"He was the first male person I wasn't afraid of. No, not true, stopped being afraid of quickly. He's brilliant, sometimes. When he doesn't try to be. The old him was... a genious. The things he thought of..."

Scraps blushed. "And Glitch is nice. He said he'd protect me from the Cats who'd try to eat me. And I scare him sometimes, but he laughs it away and dances with me to only the music in my head."

She chewed her lip for a moment. "And he understands. When the confusion is there. When I forget, when I ... I do something silly. Because he's done some of that too."

"He has kind eyes, and he's... he's handsome, but not too much that it's scary, all conceit and vain and full of their own looks. People don't seem to see it. But I think most people don't look at things very hard, or they might see too much and be afraid."

"And for the first time ever... I wish I were... pretty. I want to be a woman, and have girls up here, and curves down there... and skin that isn't splotchy, or hair all orange and wild. Being not pretty sometimes kept you safe, so I never minded. But now..." She shrugged.

"Now all my pieces are talking too much in my noggin and it's just too much, too loud and turning into a buzzing that makes thinking about anything one big jumble."

Scraps looked up at Sarah with silver eyes both full of childlike innocence and world wary age. "So what do you do when it's alright? Logic says you tell him you like him. But what if he doesn't like you back. Laughing doesn't hurt outside. But hiding or making things broken would."

"Do you like a boy? Has there been a kiss, a nice one, I mean? I can seem to give opinions on so much, but not to myself." Scraps pouted.

[rebelyell_sarah]

Her eyes lowered to the hand that was tracing the table as she spoke. Scraps had a lot to say about Glitch, about their relationship. To Sarah it seemed simple, black and white as things so often were for her. Being a couple was the next natural step. But she was sure that if she had been in Scraps' situation, her mind would have been running just as rampantly. Funny, how that worked.

Blinking a few times, she looked up in surprise. "You're right, I don't think people look at things very hard, either. For the same reason... it's a defense mechanism."

"Do you think Glitch would still like you if you had all those 'pretty' things you want? I personally think you're beautiful as you are. If you were any other way, you wouldn't be Scraps, you wouldn't be the person Glitch seems to like so much, do you understand? He likes you as you are." She paused. "However, there's nothing wrong with enhancing the beauty you already have... Play up your freckles and bright hair, wear a new dress..." she smiled a bit. "That way you can be pretty AND you."

She shrugged. "The only thing you can do is try. Show him that you like him and cross your fingers that he feels the same. It's a very brave and hard thing to do, I would imagine. At least it was for Jeb and Az. But look, they're happy now. Imagine if they hadn't tried..."

A soft smile came over her face as Scraps changed the subject to her. "No, no kiss..." she sighed. She thought for a moment of all the men she knew. Jeb, Cain, Dave, Gabriel, Peter, Kevin... her mind haulted on the name for a split second. "No boy either, but, I've danced with a few. I'm learning they're not all bad, too."

[scraps_molly]

"I've danced with Glitch. I sometimes think we're dancing without our feet moving. I just don't know what to do when the dancing ends."

Scraps looked up and smiled a tentative smile at Sarah. "No. Not all men are bad. I'm learning. Most aren't. Though many are afraid of the bad and don't stand up."

Molly sighed and sat with her elbows on the table her hands on either side of her face, holding her head up.

"I want to dance. I want to glide. I want to fly like people say you can fly, without the trapeze or nets. Sometimes I feel I want to much. And while I want, I'm afraid all the same. Of falling. Of being broken. Of breaking someone I fall on."

She sighed. "Maybe Glitch won't even remember I kissed him and we can just be as we were. Static, unchanging, but close to happy."

[rebelyell_sarah]

Sitting quietly, Sarah let Scraps speak without interruption, knowing it was best to let her sort things out in her head. Sometimes a person to talk to was necessary when you already knew the answer, but were too afraid to take that first step. Scraps knew what to do, she just needed to feel like she had help deciding.

"You don't want to be what I am," she mumbled with a frown. "Close to happy is nothing like being happy. Don't let the feelings fool you. And don't let the fear keep you away."

[scraps_molly]

"Like you are?" Scraps looked up to Sarah. "You're nice. You say what you mean most of the time. Your colors are pretty, as well. You have a lot of purple, but a little too much blue with a hint of green."

Scraps twirled an overly orange-red curl around her finger. "Know what I think? I thing the two of us are a lot alike to a point. Bad things happened early in life. And maybe middling. I took to being a mouse so no-one saw me as I skittered around. Hiding, nibbling, surviving day to day. I still do that sometimes. I'm scared of a lot. Including this whole kissing thing."

Silver eyes rested on Sarah again. "But when I was safe I still stayed the mouse. People scare me. I climb bodyguards at the sight of a rat. I only knew how to be a mouse. I'm learning to be a woman, and I'm much more open then I was."

"YOU got brave. You went after what you wanted, even if you were a bit scared. Where I was afraid, you had compassion. And I think there might just be someone who likes you. If you'll let them."

[rebelyell_sarah]

"Sometimes I only pretend to be happy," she explained. "Pretending isn't as fun as it was when I was little," her small connection causing her to smile weakly.

"I hide. I'm scared. I haven't done most of what I want to do yet, like move out, or try for the Royal Guard. I'm so alone. I've always been alone-well, almost. Only not in the big bad world," she laughed. "I don't know what I'm doing," she explained.

"So really, don't give me too much credit," Sarah chuckled and gave a quick wink. "Oh?" her head tipped. "Who do you think likes me?" the question was posed causally, as if she didn't really care, but she was actually quite curious.

[scraps_molly]

"Hardly anyone knows what they're doing, really." Scraps nodded sagely. Then looked confused. "I think, anyways."

"But you started. You took steps. You asked about the guard. You're moving towards it." Scraps pointed out. "You may live in the palace. But it's like a city sometimes. You have employment and your own income. You live in and keep your own room. You have taken steps." Scraps leaned in a bit and whispered, "I sometimes still sleep in a nest in the lab. My room near so many people sometimes makes me afraid."

Then Scraps straightened up. "But I've seen someone mostly brown and yellow get shot through with all bright pink and light when you're near. Colors rarely lie. Someone really likes you. But I can't say who. That would be unfair."

[rebelyell_sarah]

Sarah had to give a soft, perhaps bitter laugh at Scraps' thought. Wouldn't that be a shame, if no one knew what they were doing? What sad, lost souls they would all be. Just trying to cling to whatever sense of normalcy they could find. Even worse, it was likely true.

A sigh escaped then, and she had to nod. Hadn't Scraps come looking for advice? And there she was, giving out advice to Sarah. The shame was that Scraps was completely right and Sarah wasn't giving herself enough credit. At least the knowledge gave her comfort, and she felt some of her hopelessness melt away. Her situation wasn't all that bad after all.

Scraps knew, had seen the colors. She wasn't sure what to make of this. The teenage girl in Sarah wanted to reach across the table and shake the name from the small woman. But that would've been immature and inappropriate, not to mention jumping to conclusions. An entire array of emotions could cause those colors to appear. Sarah had often felt light and bright around people she liked as well, but that didn't mean there were romantic feelings lurking under the surface. "Well, would it? And liking someone could be as simple as liking someone..." she pointed out lamely. The truth was she just wanted to know.

[scraps_molly]

Scraps offered a small smile.

She was not aware that she had gone from being in need to being what she needed to be. She slid so easily between her parts sometimes. It wasn't exactly like she was different people, her core.... Scrappiness, remained. But her brain sometimes pulled things from different areas, memories, thought patterns.

"Light pink shot through with white, when near someone in particular, in my remembering, usually means attraction in a romantic sense. It means loving attraction with um.... sexy undertones."

Not that she'd ever been the one such things were felt for. But she'd seen new couples and just people attracted to one another enough to recognize the color.

Clear bright red when two involved people were near meant all hot sex and passion. DG and the man of tin got tinged with clear red a lot. So did Az and Jeb. There were actually quite a few couples around here that did. It often made her want to close her eyes.

[rebelyell_sarah]

"Hmph," Sarah said in reply, her tone defeated. Scraps had blatantly disproved everything she had been thinking. There was no choice but to accept that someone liked her. It caused a heavy sigh to emerge; that was a scary thought. Some liked her. And sexy undertones? She wasn't sure she was ready for, or even wanted that.

Forcing her mind from the thought, she let it wander to Scraps' understanding of color and people. "How do you know what the colors mean?" she tipped her head. She knew it probably had to do with the many parts she consisted of, but still, Sarah was unaware of anything else like it. "You tell me I have all these colors... and too much of some, are they bad colors? Good colors?" she laughed. "Sorry, I don't mean to bombard you. That's not why we're here anyway. You kissed Glitch," she reminded herself and Scraps.

[scraps_molly]

“I could see colors… for a long time. Not all the time. Half of a half of the time. It’s one of my parts. I know some of the meaning from observing, and some I just… know.”

She shrugged a bit. “You are mostly green.” Scraps announced. “I don’t see it now. But I did before. Green is growth and change. That has a bit of dark, muddied yellow swirling through. That’s stress and taking on too much at once. Turquoise, compassionate. Muddy blue, fear of the future or of the change. Those were your colors when I last saw them on you. Very pretty to look at, no matter what they mean. Blues and greens and yellows.”

Then Sarah brought up the kissing. Yes. That was why Scraps was here.

“He solved a problem that was stopping us from making something for weeks. He can still make such things when he’s distracted a bit. I was happy so I gave him a hug and a peck on the lips. And when I pulled back he followed, keeping our lips together. Then I leaned back in because it was tingly and warm and made my tummy feel funny. Just lips pressing together. Then I realized We had just kissed, and I wasn’t sick, and I may have ruined being his friend and I ran here.”

Scraps folded her arms on the table and let her forehead fall forward to drop on them. “You said that’s good. Other people seem to like kissing. I need to gather more information. Understand how it works. I’m good at understanding how things work.”

Well tick-tocks and gears and metals and springs anyway.

[rebelyell_sarah]

"I figured it had to do with your parts," Sarah confessed. "It's a pretty cool part," she grinned. "A gift really, being able to see people's colors. It's not something most people can do."

Green. It wasn't a bad color. Not her favorite, but it was pretty. Natural. Should she judge her own colors that way, by whether she liked them or not? Probably not, it seemed a lot like judging oneself. And that was never good. Growth and change? That seemed right, too. She was always trying to change things for herself. The other colors were right too, but she was glad green was the main one. Blue or yellow as the main colors would've been bad.

"Kissing?" she chuckled. Sometimes Sarah felt like Scraps did, needing to know how things worked. Kissing was such a simple gesture, but it meant so much sometimes. "Last time I heard, it's a pretty big deal for such a small thing. And kissing's not the only thing like that," she sighed.

"Humans are so complicated, Scraps."