(Untitled)

[grey_gabriel]

Who: Az and Gabe
When: January 18th, 6 pm-ish
Where: Az's chambers
What: Gaze fluff.

Johnson had relayed the news once Az was settled as comfortably as possible, and frustration rented Marion's features. Az needed to be taken care of, surely, but she wanted to see that man? To say the least, she hadn't heard very nice things about Gabriel, and she

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[az_of_the_oz]

Johnson had tried to sit her down on her bed, but she had shook her head and made him set her on the nearby couch instead. She did not want to go to her bed, too many memories had been ingrained into it in such a short time. Memories she wanted to avoid at that moment. The couch was safe, plushy and nearly blank memory-wise.

Her guard had stared down at her for a second, concern clear on his face, one of the few times emotion was allowed to flash across his eyes. But she did not even notice, even when he insisted that she get up and change into something not tinged in dirt and blood. Instead she had obeyed him like a small child, allowing him to pick out a suitable dress made of soft cotton and let him wipe off the grime and blood from her skin with a small cloth dipped in water from her bathroom. All the while she was feeling blank more than anything else, trying to keep up the dividing walls in her mind.

Now she was sitting on the couch again, wearing one of the dresses she had commissioned earlier in the week, with her knees pulled up against her chest. Johnson had left her to stand outside, and had promised that he was sending someone after Gabe.

Hearing the greeting from the doorway, she looked up with melted chocolate eyes. "Hey."

[grey_gabriel]

A look of pain nearly crossed his features when she looked at him. From the looks of things, she needed comforting, and well, if it wasn't already obvious, comforting wasn't his thing. Especially when it came to battered and broken women, even one he had had a indirect part in hurting.

Licking his lips, he moved forward and caught the door with his palm, shutting it part way, but open enough to keep Johnson at bay. Nevertheless, he was sure Az didn't want their conversation broadcasted. "You asked for me?" he questioned, a look of curiosity on his face. After all, he had no idea what she thought he could do for her.

He ran a hand down his cheek, trying to surpress the worn way his body wanted to slump. But his face still shown the lack of energy, the dark purple bags evident underneath his oil hued eyes. "Mm, why aren't you with the Viewer?" he mumbled. "You're hurt." He was stating the obvious, but maybe she needed to hear it from him before she would do something about it.

[az_of_the_oz]

Picking at the fabric of the dress as it fell over her knees with two fingers, Az's mouth quirked slightly, not happy or sad, just a small movement. She nodded, looking down for a bit before back up at him. "Yes, I di-didn't want to be alone."

"Raw's with Deeg, I...I didn't want to meet someone new. Someone I don't know. Not now." His comment made her drop her head enough to see the rainbow display across the exposed skin, where the cloth of her dress dipped in the front. The dark green fabric covered much more than her ballgown had, but less than most women around the Palace preferred. It seemed to be too casual now that her mind flittered over it. "Hmm," she agreed.

When her eyes raised back up to rest on him she could not help but notice how exhausted he looked, and guilt flared. "I'm sorry, you came all the way to the Realm to save me, and you didn't have to. And now I'm keeping you from sleep." Her arms went back around her knees, letting her chin rest on top of her kneecaps, not wanting to meet his eyes any longer.

[grey_gabriel]

"That's fair enough," he noddded and pursed his lips together as he listened to her. He was at a loss in this scenario, knowing there was a particular emotion that would have aided him greatly if he still possessed it. But guilt-or was it compassion?-had left him years ago, had flitted away without so much as a sound when he had first killed in revenge. And then when he began killing and enjoying it, the emotion showed no sign of ever returning.

But still, Az seemed to need him, and so he only hoped he could act the part well enough. He liked Az, enjoyed her company, and so maybe he could feign caring about her on a deeper level. "No no, don't feel bad," he waved her guilt away with a flick of his wrist, allowing the one corner of his lip to pull up in a half smile. "I'm here if you need me," he said simply, moving over to the couch and setting his hands in his lap. He would have put one on her back, but that almost felt forced.

"Not coming for you wasn't an option, Az," he whispered. "It wasn't even a decision. I had to do it, you're my friend."

[az_of_the_oz]

Raising her gaze in time to see him coming to sit beside her, Az was just glad that he had not taken the escape she had offered and left her. The couch cushion bowed slightly under the new weight of him having joined her, and for some reason the sensation really registered with her. Seemed significant somehow. Perhaps just because someone was there for her.

But she should not allow him to get dragged down with her, so she shook her head. "You shouldn't be. I'll just end up hurting you too." She sniffed as she tightened her grip around her legs for a second before she released them and moved them down so that her bare feet were on the soft carpet. "Everyone's lives seemed so shiny and jewel-toned, and then I had to go and ruin it all."

"I'm dangerous Gabe." The Princess sent a sidelong glance at him. "You should get out while you still can."

[grey_gabriel]

"Stop that now," he ordered, his voice still not much more than a whisper. "This isn't your fault, Azkadellia. You didn't summon the longcoats, didn't make them capture your friends and family." He watched as she set her feet on the carpet before returning his eyes to her face. "Things were getting back to normal, it's true. But I know you didn't have a hand in this, and it's foolish of you to think so."

Gabriel settled his arm across her back, moving the other from his lap before nudging her gently to rest against his chest, settling his arms around her waist. He gave a small chuckle at her statement. "That's not true. You wouldn't hurt a fly and you know it." He rubbed her upper arm reassuringly. "Cain's not interrogating you all the time too, is he?" he asked in amusement. "I'm pretty sure everyone thinks I'm the threat around here, not you. Maybe you should get away from me while you still can."

[az_of_the_oz]

Az shook her head as he pulled her against him, still taking comfort in the contact all the same. "Can you honestly say that the Fae taking Jeb wasn't my fault?" She had asked herself the question many times in the last eighteen hours. "He tried to save me from him and was nearly killed for it. And then the Fae took him."

Her hair fell forward to shadow her face like a curtain as she turned her head so that her cheek was against his chest. "And then he wasn't my Jeb anymore, but hers. He...he said things he said in my nightmares Gabe. That everything was my fault, and it is." She sniffed again, attempting to fight back the tears that threatened to spill.

"I should have fought harder, from the beginning. DG should not have even been near that cave, I should have paid more attention to Mom's rules, kept DG safe." Her hands went around his neck, "If I had just been the big sister I was supposed to, none of this would have happened. Everyone I love wouldn't have been hurt."

She felt like an overemotional female then, the stereotype she so disliked. Shaking her head, she answered with a clear, "No." Cain had not interrogated her before, had trusted the Viewers and DG. "I don't think your a threat Gabe." A slight smile tipped her lips for a second, but it was enough. "You saved me, thank you."

[grey_gabriel]

"Yes," he replied curtly. "It was Jeb's decision-however automatic it was-to try and help you, risk his life for you. How could that be your fault? It's as much your fault as if I had gotten seriously hurt in the rescue mission," he pointed out, remembering his broken kuckles and flexing his hand. "The Fae was working for Zero, so of course it would make sense to get rid of an ally to their enemy." Gabriel quieted after that, realizing his was beginning to slip into a military dialect.

His arms naturally tightened around her waist when she spoke again, her voice breaking. Somehow this felt distantly familiar, as if he had comforted Az before... A foggy memory crept to the forefront of his mind; his dark haired sister pressed against his chest in the darkness of his bedroom, small whimpering sounds coming from the tiny lips he couldn't see.. It had been a nightmare then, too. "It's not, Az. I think you're afraid Jeb will blame you, so you're beating him to the punch. Blaming yourself before he does, because this doesn't hurt as badly..."

What she spoke of next clicked with him. He had read the story many times in the newly reinstated papers. The story of a young DG, poking where she didn't belong, and her older sister tagging along to keep a close eye. He supposed it was a sad story, but the Azkadellia that he had known because of it was magnificent. Gabriel nodded, not to agree, but to show he knew what she was saying. Once, that same feeling of guilt had plagued him. But he had gotten his revenge, many times over. "If you haven't noticed by now, DG is a very headstrong woman, and she'll do what she pleases, no matter what anyone says."

"At least someone doesn't," he half smiled with a feigned sigh of relief. "You're welcome," he nodded.

[az_of_the_oz]

Her mouth twisting as she considered what he had said, she let a soft 'hmm' of a sound. It seemed to be in Jeb's nature to try to protect the ones he...well... but she did not want anyone to risk their life for hers. Az did not think that she would be able to keep herself together without Jeb in her life. She did not even want to consider the possibility of the Fae's manipulations of him being irreversible. Her heart would not be able to survive the pain of it, if that were the case.

His next statement caught her attention. That she was attempting to protect herself by taking the blame before anyone else could assign it to her. Had she not done this before? Az had blamed herself for many things when it came to DG, but the episode that first came to mind was her trying to apologise to DG herself for reprogramming the nurture units. DG had not blamed her, never seemed to blame her. Yet Az could never seem to quite get over the guilt of causing someone else pain. Let alone her baby sister.

The problem was, no matter how many times she heard that she should not blame herself from others, she could not just dismiss the guilt and pain that came with assigning herself the blame.

His arms tightening around her were a welcome sensation. After nearly an entire day, was it only a day?, of being in constant terror, she knew she was safe where she was. Johnson was outside with five other guards, Zero was captured and sitting in a capture globe somewhere in the Palace. No one was about to physically harm her or try to kidnap her. The thought was relieving, even though pain spiked a second later when she remembered that DG was still in critical condition, being healed by Raw.

"You're probably right Gabe, but...knowing that does not make the guilt lift off of me. I wish it did." She shook her head when he spoke as if she was the only one who believed in him. "You came along with the rescue party when you didn't have to. You could have easily stayed behind where it was safe, or at least safer, at the Palace. But instead you joined Cain and the men under his command, going into one of the most dangerous places in the O.Z." A slow, deep breath. "No one will forget that Gabe, that you risked yourself when you didn't have to. I won't let them."

[grey_gabriel]

The soft sound of thought Az made gave Gabriel hope. Maybe he was getting through to her after all. He was so tired... and while he wanted to be available for the Princess, he was very tired. Sleep sounded beyond amazing; in fact, if this conversation didn't end soon, there was a good chance he would fall asleep where he was sitting. He wondered, even, how Az hadn't fallen asleep yet. But then again, she was going through a lot emotionally, and he was sure it was enough to keep her awake.

She seemed lost in thought for a few moments, and the silence was long enough for him to set his head back on the couch, closing his eyes. Immediately there was a feeling of relief, like his body had just given up at trying to stay awake. Only Az's words brought him out of his half consciousness, his eyes opening slowly.

He gave a bit of a squirm at her words, clearing his throat before frowning. "I didn't come along by choice. Of course, I offered," he qualified quickly, "but Cain seemed to believe I would be useful in finding the longcoats' hideout," he said indignantly, rolling his eyes. "Imagine his irritation when I didn't have a clue," he smirked with his own satisfaction. He continued speaking again, softening his voice. "Even if Cain hadn't insisted I come along, I still would have." There was a good chance that it would have been to save his cover, however.

[az_of_the_oz]

Az had been awake since early in the morning on the seventeenth, after a nightmare plagued night. If everything had gone as it was supposed to, she would have been in bed by midnight, asleep by two or so in the morning. Instead she had been awake for over 36 hours, and her mind was starting to shut down. Only a mixture of adrenaline and terror had kept her awake as long as she had been.

She noticed his head falling back onto the couch, but only in the corner of her awareness. And she did not want to be alone just yet, so she selfishly did her best to stay in denial of the fact that he was just about to drop as she was.

A small yawn escaped her as she listened to his words, her hand coming down to stifle the sound. Before her hand came back up around his neck again. Curling against him, she slipped into Morpheus's sweet clutches.

It was several hours later that the scene with Zero and Jeb tore through her shallow hold on sleep.

[grey_gabriel]

Gabriel had noticed Az had begun to drift somewhere in the middle of his sentence, but he let her be. Hearing his excuses were not as important as her getting rest, if only so he didn't have to play big brother again.

The way she had nestled into his body was all too inviting, and so he set his chin upon the top of her head, falling into sleep quickly, and much deeper than the princess did. When she began to whimper and toss from the nightmare she was having, it took several minutes for Gabe to come around, hazily, and give her arm a shake.

Whatever she was dreaming about, he was sure she wanted out of it. "Az, Az wake up," he muttered gruffly, running his free hand over his face. The stubble across his cheeks and chin was just another reminder of the full few nights he had had.

[az_of_the_oz]

Zero's arm was an iron band around her midsection, keeping her from moving, as his voice whispered his hissing taunts into her ear. Sobs wracked her silently, the tears flowing down her cheeks as she bit back the sounds of her cries. Jeb lay oh so still on the ground in front of her, a pool of blood expanding around him, the sight tearing at her heart.

Startling awake with a gasp, it took a few seconds to orient herself on where she was. And who she was with. Her fingers had found their way into knotting themselves in the shirt Gabe was wearing, her knuckles white with the tension. Pulling away, she loosened her grip on the fabric, a small apologetic smile on her lips. "I'm sorry, I..." with a swallow, she shrugged.

Az did not pull out of his arms however, curling back into his embrace as she set her forehead against his chest. Her cheeks still wet from tears she had shed in her sleep.

[grey_gabriel]

For a moment he regretted waking her, because she seemed twice as frightened in her wakefulness than she did when she was sleeping. But then she oriented herself, and he offered a faint smile.

"Were having a nightmare," he finished her sentence, watching as she unclenched the fabric of his shirt, the spot she had been gripping still wrinkled and puckered. He smoothed it out quickly before she laid her head back down, and it was only then he noticed she had been crying in her sleep.

"Do you want anything? Maybe a glass of water?" he asked gently, unable to resist the impulse to run his fingers through her hair. It was even more silky than it looked, and he nearly sighed in satisfaction over the moment. It was wonderfully indulgent, being allowed to touch his Sorceress.

Zero had been one lucky bastard; Gabriel doubted he even appreciated it when he had it.