(no subject)
i dream about you when i am awake
i want you
your arms around me
your voice to whisper my name
to lay my face on your chest
and close my eyes and sleep soundly
i want to breath in your aroma
i want you to kiss my face
i want to keep you at a distance
i want to stay under control
want you to see this desire
but wanting more that you never do
this will kill me
if your eyes don't do it first
i wish i could trust people easier. it is quite a task gaining my trust. few have done it, but those that do i feel don't understand what they have done. people terrify me. i don't like going into new situations. the first day of class is always a bad one. it's not that i'm cripplingl shy or anything, quite to opposite. i can make friends easily. perhaps friend is the wrong word. i make buddies easily. i know the people around me and can chat with them before class starts, but they make me slightly nervous. i am always on guard just a little bit, no matter what.
there are few acceptions to this in me. but there of cousre are acceptions. tabi is my best friend. we've known each other since we were 8. i don't remember a time when she ever made me feel nervouse or on edge. hyewon is another, she has the ability to put me at ease. mike too. he is definately the most recent addition to my close friend circle. i remember the first time i met him was at a floor event at my building freshmen year at college. that is the type of social situation in which i do not exactly thrive. lots of new people, completely new place, kinda feel like the fish out of water. but when i saw him i immediatly just struck up a conversation. it was weird. if i am approached i will usually respond really well to new people, but i have to be approached. i wish i could meet more people that i could do that with. i should really work on not being such a coward.
i think i should join a writing community. the best way to improve in such an area is o practice. i would like very much to get back into the habit of writing stories songs and poetry. i wsh i had a pause button for life so i could catch up on all the thingsi want to do.
i want you
your arms around me
your voice to whisper my name
to lay my face on your chest
and close my eyes and sleep soundly
i want to breath in your aroma
i want you to kiss my face
i want to keep you at a distance
i want to stay under control
want you to see this desire
but wanting more that you never do
this will kill me
if your eyes don't do it first
i wish i could trust people easier. it is quite a task gaining my trust. few have done it, but those that do i feel don't understand what they have done. people terrify me. i don't like going into new situations. the first day of class is always a bad one. it's not that i'm cripplingl shy or anything, quite to opposite. i can make friends easily. perhaps friend is the wrong word. i make buddies easily. i know the people around me and can chat with them before class starts, but they make me slightly nervous. i am always on guard just a little bit, no matter what.
there are few acceptions to this in me. but there of cousre are acceptions. tabi is my best friend. we've known each other since we were 8. i don't remember a time when she ever made me feel nervouse or on edge. hyewon is another, she has the ability to put me at ease. mike too. he is definately the most recent addition to my close friend circle. i remember the first time i met him was at a floor event at my building freshmen year at college. that is the type of social situation in which i do not exactly thrive. lots of new people, completely new place, kinda feel like the fish out of water. but when i saw him i immediatly just struck up a conversation. it was weird. if i am approached i will usually respond really well to new people, but i have to be approached. i wish i could meet more people that i could do that with. i should really work on not being such a coward.
i think i should join a writing community. the best way to improve in such an area is o practice. i would like very much to get back into the habit of writing stories songs and poetry. i wsh i had a pause button for life so i could catch up on all the thingsi want to do.