RIP Pocky. 23rd Jan 2008
Life is so fragile.
Chen Po chen a.k.a "Pocky", passed away in her sleep 2 days ago. She was a regular in the singapore goth scene, a drum and bass fanatic, an enthusiastic, beautiful, intellectual person... and my former girlfriend. The reason why this post is so late is due to the fact that I was pretty devastated. She was 23
I heard the news firsthand from her father, colin, who gave me a phone call right smack during my mega events meeting with the Grand Mercure Roxy. It took all my force of will not to explode right there and then. I initially took it for a prank until reality set in.
This is the third of my friends that have passed on in their prime. The first was Wayne Thunder (28). The second was Heath ledger (28), my Guildford Grammar classmate in perth when I did Applicable Mathematics with him. He passed away on the 23rd as well. He wasnt that close to me, but the impact of having not one but two friends disappear like that in the same day was heavy.
The wake was exceedingly morose. I spent alot of my time standing by Pocky's casket and sitting next to Colin relating on her life... Her bulimia, her alcoholism, our relationship. Her parents did bear a degree of bitterness to some of the friends she kept. They dressed her up in something she wouldnt be (excuse me) caught dead in- a suit, but with her favorite scruffy cap emblazoned with an exitmusik sticker and her favorite book. I cried myself dry - all the moments of nearly fantastic escapism brought to bear at once.
right after the wake, I went straight to Sam's place and wrote a track for her overnight. It was the cremation right after, with pocky's sister and brother mechanically following the monk's instructions at Guang Ming Shan temple to kneel, circle the coffin, bow and so forth. It was a veritable eternity before her casket was pushed into the furnace and she was gone forever. The look of horror on her mother's face is something I hope I never see on my own mother. They were all there: Aresha, Audrey, Jessica, Andy, etc. Even the mysterious tall guy that escorted her during the Alec Empire show who claimed to be some sort of 'boyfriend' and the thai girl that she dated and according to what I heard from her parents and friends at the wake, led her astray.
We organised a tribute for her during Alternation last night as my event was the one closest to the death date, as well as it being highly appropriate as it was one of her favorite club nights, barring the DnB events at home club. She was always sitting in the same chair, bobbing away with her little hat, even when the bone death took her right hip. She decorated a crutch with shreded black cloth and chains. You have no idea how much I can relate to walking around clubs with a crutch.
Most of Pocky's friends showed up. Vortex and Kiat did a special versus set. X'ho and I played her favorite tunes. I eventually shelled out the track, yet untitled, that was written for her and sang VNV Nation's beloved, live. Quite alot of people cried. I had difficulty finishing the song myself. We had a little table which we put flowers onto. I got her a big sunflower, the same kind she used to bring to cheer her friends (and me) up. I had a reserved sign placed on it to prevent anyone from sitting there and we all bought drinks that we placed on the table and toasted them. Some even placed ciggies and Duty free alcohol onto it. The venue staff were very sensitive to the matter and did not molest our little shrine.
This was the same girl that showed up alone to support me at the Divine9 show at Gashaus during its embryonic stage... and she came for all three shows. This is the girl that ripped my shirt off in Zouk on christmas eve and kissed me so hard I hit the wall of the console. This is the girl that cried out my name in the sea of a crowd at Ministry of Sound as I came on stage when even my legit girlfriend was nowhere in sight. The lines were blurry relationship-wise with her. When I decided to become committed with huixian (immediate former girlfriend), she was utterly disappointed. Lately, she even enjoyed the company of my dear Tsura when they met at Alec Empire and at the Vault Party and was telling me how lucky I am.
My mind always drifts back to moments in 2006:
"we're not in love, okay?" and then she'll grab my collar and drag me into a kiss.
Goodbye Pocky
Chen Po chen a.k.a "Pocky", passed away in her sleep 2 days ago. She was a regular in the singapore goth scene, a drum and bass fanatic, an enthusiastic, beautiful, intellectual person... and my former girlfriend. The reason why this post is so late is due to the fact that I was pretty devastated. She was 23
I heard the news firsthand from her father, colin, who gave me a phone call right smack during my mega events meeting with the Grand Mercure Roxy. It took all my force of will not to explode right there and then. I initially took it for a prank until reality set in.
This is the third of my friends that have passed on in their prime. The first was Wayne Thunder (28). The second was Heath ledger (28), my Guildford Grammar classmate in perth when I did Applicable Mathematics with him. He passed away on the 23rd as well. He wasnt that close to me, but the impact of having not one but two friends disappear like that in the same day was heavy.
The wake was exceedingly morose. I spent alot of my time standing by Pocky's casket and sitting next to Colin relating on her life... Her bulimia, her alcoholism, our relationship. Her parents did bear a degree of bitterness to some of the friends she kept. They dressed her up in something she wouldnt be (excuse me) caught dead in- a suit, but with her favorite scruffy cap emblazoned with an exitmusik sticker and her favorite book. I cried myself dry - all the moments of nearly fantastic escapism brought to bear at once.
right after the wake, I went straight to Sam's place and wrote a track for her overnight. It was the cremation right after, with pocky's sister and brother mechanically following the monk's instructions at Guang Ming Shan temple to kneel, circle the coffin, bow and so forth. It was a veritable eternity before her casket was pushed into the furnace and she was gone forever. The look of horror on her mother's face is something I hope I never see on my own mother. They were all there: Aresha, Audrey, Jessica, Andy, etc. Even the mysterious tall guy that escorted her during the Alec Empire show who claimed to be some sort of 'boyfriend' and the thai girl that she dated and according to what I heard from her parents and friends at the wake, led her astray.
We organised a tribute for her during Alternation last night as my event was the one closest to the death date, as well as it being highly appropriate as it was one of her favorite club nights, barring the DnB events at home club. She was always sitting in the same chair, bobbing away with her little hat, even when the bone death took her right hip. She decorated a crutch with shreded black cloth and chains. You have no idea how much I can relate to walking around clubs with a crutch.
Most of Pocky's friends showed up. Vortex and Kiat did a special versus set. X'ho and I played her favorite tunes. I eventually shelled out the track, yet untitled, that was written for her and sang VNV Nation's beloved, live. Quite alot of people cried. I had difficulty finishing the song myself. We had a little table which we put flowers onto. I got her a big sunflower, the same kind she used to bring to cheer her friends (and me) up. I had a reserved sign placed on it to prevent anyone from sitting there and we all bought drinks that we placed on the table and toasted them. Some even placed ciggies and Duty free alcohol onto it. The venue staff were very sensitive to the matter and did not molest our little shrine.
This was the same girl that showed up alone to support me at the Divine9 show at Gashaus during its embryonic stage... and she came for all three shows. This is the girl that ripped my shirt off in Zouk on christmas eve and kissed me so hard I hit the wall of the console. This is the girl that cried out my name in the sea of a crowd at Ministry of Sound as I came on stage when even my legit girlfriend was nowhere in sight. The lines were blurry relationship-wise with her. When I decided to become committed with huixian (immediate former girlfriend), she was utterly disappointed. Lately, she even enjoyed the company of my dear Tsura when they met at Alec Empire and at the Vault Party and was telling me how lucky I am.
My mind always drifts back to moments in 2006:
"we're not in love, okay?" and then she'll grab my collar and drag me into a kiss.
Goodbye Pocky