5 acts sign-up post
5 acts meme rules
+ Post a list of your five favorite acts/kinks to read about. Check out this list if you need some inspiration. At the bottom of your post, add what fandoms/pairings you're interested in.
+ Read other people's lists; the master list of lists is here.
+ Post comment-fic based off of other people's interests.
( my sign-up's under the cut )
+ Post a list of your five favorite acts/kinks to read about. Check out this list if you need some inspiration. At the bottom of your post, add what fandoms/pairings you're interested in.
+ Read other people's lists; the master list of lists is here.
+ Post comment-fic based off of other people's interests.
( my sign-up's under the cut )
“Believe me, that’s not why I’m doing this. And I don’t think you want me to.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Let’s just pretend you never said that. And go to sleep.”
You suppose you can do it - it’s not too hard of a request. You don’t really believe that nothing is going to happen, but it’s not as if you have a choice either way.
You don’t wake up screaming again.
--
The next morning, he’s still there. His arm is still above your waist. His hand is still at your neck. Your head is still against his shoulder. You both have clothes on. You blink twice, slowly realizing that he didn’t lie and that you slept straight until morning. You aren’t really thinking as you reach out for the laces of his breeches with your left hand - if anything, you’d have done it with the right if you had been thinking about it.
You hadn’t realized that he was awake.
His fingers wrap around your wrist before you can even touch the laces.
“Don’t do it.”
You move your hand back to your side. “What do you want then?” you ask, dejected.
“I don’t want anything. And you don’t have to - pay me back. Or whatever you think that you’re doing.”
“That’s - you must want something.”
“I’m afraid I don’t,” he replies, and he sounds almost - kind? Sad? You don’t even know anymore. He sighs and moves away, looks down at you, seems to debate it for a second before he grabs the blanket and pushes it back so that it’s covering you again. You want to cry at the gesture, you know you don’t deserve it, and you fight the temptation to throw yourself off the bed and at his knees all over again - if he doesn’t want it you shouldn’t risk making him angry. He’s bound to lose his temper at some point.
“Get some rest,” he says, and then he leaves and locks the door again, and you cry tears of relief into the pillow.
--
You spend half of the day in bed - you’re too exhausted by what went on during the night to even bother getting out of it if you don’t have to.
You don’t expect Jon to come back. You don’t expect him to get under the covers again. This time he’s behind you, and he puts an arm around you again but he leaves space between the two of you.
“What are you doing?” you ask miserably. Maybe he finally decided to -
“It’s a long story. And I still don’t want anything from you. Go to sleep.”
(You don’t know that during the previous night he found out that he sleeps better next to someone else, and you don’t know that while he still trusts his close friends, he couldn’t ask any of them. You don’t know that he hasn’t slept well or much at all since he came back from the dead. You will at some point, but not now.)
“My lord -”
“I liked it better when you called me bastard,” Jon mutters, and you don’t even know what to say.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper. You hope he understands that it’s not just about that. It’s about everything.
“I know,” Jon replies, his forehead pressing against the back of your head. You press yourself a bit closer to him, wondering what are you even trying to prove yourself.
He keeps his hold loose, and you know you believe him.
Reply
Anyway, yeah, here is the rest of the comment, as written whilst reading this through the first time:
oh my god, this is so good. because you've got Theon's complete broken humility and how that must shock Jon, and his inability to believe that he can just be now, that nothing bad is going to happen.
and oh holy fuck, their shared survivor's guilt about Robb. That is brilliant and perfect and amazing and just hit so fucking hard. Oh.
“I’m sorry,” you stammer, closing your eyes, knowing that something has to be coming. A blow, a slap, maybe he’ll shove you off the bed and push you on your knees and he’ll ask you your name and if you answer wrong -
ugh, this is just so evocative of all the awful things and, oh fuck, you just do such a good job dealing with the obvious impact, the trauma, of everything Theon's been through. I can't even express how wonderfully you've done this.
And, oh fuck, Theon offering himself to Jon, thinking it wouldn't be so bad - and how natural that is to him and how alien it is to Jon, how shocking. Ugh.
(You don’t know that during the previous night he found out that he sleeps better next to someone else, and you don’t know that while he still trusts his close friends, he couldn’t ask any of them. You don’t know that he hasn’t slept well or much at all since he came back from the dead. You will at some point, but not now.)
This is such a nice little insert, giving that tiny bit of Jon's pov on it all, just to make it all sit together in nicely and explain Jon's motives. Yesss. I love how you included Jon's own trauma narrative. And the fact that they both have scars as well and how it's easier for Theon to relate to Jon because of that. And, god, this fic just has so much amazing insight into these two and the state that they're both left in post-ADWD and what that would mean for their reunion and, yess. I think the second person pov worked gloriously well and did a really good job of making Jon seem very distant and apart from Jon. Also love the Grenn cameo and all the little ways you populated it with voices in the background, etc, even though Theon never really interacted with anyone else. This is just so, so beautifully done. & it hit so many amazing chords with me. Thank you, thank you, thank yoooou.
Reply
Also seriously I'm sitting here being flattered because I've been spending probably too much time thinking about those two possibly interacting post ADWD and it's great to know that this worked - and when I saw that violence/absence of violence dichotomies I figured I should just go for it since it pretty much fit to how I think post-ADWD would work. I mean, if he ever gets in a position where he doesn't have to worry about getting killed I think that it'd be enough for major freak-outs. Without thinking about all the rest, ugh.
And it's also great to know that the bits of Jon POV thing worked for you as well, I figured that since it's not like they have this great history it'd help to give some insight of why he'd do what he does in this. (Or in what's going on at the Wall in the first place - I couldn't really focus on that but I thought that some bits of information here and there could do the job. :) ) Aaaand really thank you so much again, I'm really glad that you liked it this much ♥♥♥
Reply
Leave a comment