If its not too late for coffee (I'll be at your place in ten)

[ourspacesongs]

And then one night something changed. Merlin and Arthur had gone out with Arthur’s friends to a nearby pub and were slightly less than sober and sitting on Merlin’s bed watching stupid YouTube videos and laughing much harder than was probably warranted. When Merlin was tired of the videos he scooted up the bed and laid down, head on his pillow. Arthur looked back at him briefly before sliding up and laying down next to him. Merlin sighed sleepily and they just laid there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, the sound of their breathing filling the room. Then Arthur shifted slightly and Merlin was suddenly very aware of Arthur’s leg pressing lightly against his. Merlin tensed up slightly. This was usually the time when Arthur would get up or make an excuse for why he had to leave, but tonight he didn’t. He just stayed there, alongside Merlin, eyes closed, breathing slowly. If he noticed that they were touching, he didn’t show it. Merlin, whose hands had been tucked into the pocket of his hoodie, slowly withdrew one arm, stretching it down his side and resting it gently on the bed between them. He moved it hesitantly towards Arthur, stopping when his little finger just barely brushed the edge of Arthur’s palm. Merlin glanced quickly at Arthur, trying to read his face, but Arthur’s expression didn’t change, so Merlin didn’t withdraw his hand. Merlin closed his eyes, trying to relax, but he could feel Arthur next to him, Merlin’s skin buzzing where they were connected.

Arthur didn’t move or make a sound for a couple of minutes and Merlin thought maybe he had fallen asleep, but when he opened his eyes and turned his head towards Arthur, he saw that Arthur’s eyes were wide open and he was just staring at the ceiling with an unreadable expression on his face. Merlin turned slightly onto his side, not breaking the contact between them. This seemed to break Arthur’s concentration and he looked over towards Merlin. There was something strange in Arthur’s eyes, something Merlin hadn’t seen before; his eyes were all soft, and kind of distant, like he had something big going on in his head. It made something in Merlin’s chest squeeze and almost without meaning to, he curled his finger around Arthur’s on the bed between them.

“Remember that first day, when you asked me why I work at the coffee cart?”

Arthur’s voice cutting through the quiet startled Merlin and it took him a second to respond.

“Yeah, ‘course. You said it was because you liked mixing with the common folk, which just confirmed my impression of you as an arrogant dick.”

Arthur laughed softly. “Sorry about that.”

“So,” prompted Merlin gently. “I’m guessing that’s not actually why you work there then?”

“No,” Arthur said, twisting his other hand in the bottom of his t-shirt. “It’s not.” He took a breath in, as if preparing himself for whatever he was about to say. Merlin stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue.

“So I’m studying business yeah? But…well, I hate it. I really hate it. I never would have picked it but my father is absolutely set on me becoming some kind of entrepreneur and starting my own company and making billions of pounds so I can properly support my wife and kids. Or at least - well, I think he’s given up on the wife bit, but he’s still stuck on the rest of it. And it’s just all so fucked up and pathetic. I mean, he’s never been happy with anything I’ve done, ever, so I don’t know why I thought this would be any different, but now I’m stuck studying this degree and I’m miserable and I’m too much of a coward to do anything about it.”

Arthur paused and Merlin gently curled the rest of his fingers around Arthur’s hand, encouraging him to go on. Arthur spread his fingers apart, threading them through Merlin’s almost absently before continuing the story.

“I told him I wanted to switch, quit business, try something else, maybe history, but he absolutely lost it. I mean, things hadn’t ever been great between us, but I had never seen him that angry. And he said that if I dropped business he would cut me off, wouldn’t pay for anything, school, my apartment, nothing. And I was just so mad and kind of a little bit in shock I think and so I yelled and told him to just go ahead and do it and I stormed out and haven’t spoken to him since. And that was at the end of last term.”

Merlin wasn’t sure what to do so he just squeezed Arthur’s hand, and he smiled a bit despite the circumstances when he felt Arthur return the squeeze.

“But you didn’t switch,” Merlin said softly, now turned completely on his side facing Arthur, who was fixated on some point on the ceiling.

“No, I didn’t. I took the job at the coffee cart to make a little extra money. I’d had some saved up that I’ve been using to pay for rent and everything that will last me a while, but I figured a little extra couldn’t hurt. And also, I think it was some small way of showing my father that he hadn’t beaten me, that I could survive on my own, take care of myself. But I didn’t quit business. And that’s the worst part, even after all of this, after he fucking disowned me, and even though I’m miserable, I still can’t do it. There’s still some pathetic part of me that wants his approval, even if it means doing something I hate.”

Arthur sighed and closed his eyes and he just sounded so small and lost that Merlin didn’t even hesitate before sliding closer and closing the space between them to wrap his free arm around Arthur and pull him close. Arthur made a little startled noise but didn’t pull away. They were facing each other, knees touching, hands still clasped between them, Merlin’s chin on Arthur’s shoulder, cheeks just barely brushing. They were so close and Merlin could feel Arthur’s breath on this neck, feel Arthur’s heart beating against his chest and before his brain had time to tell him that maybe this was not the right moment for this, he was kissing Arthur.

And Arthur wasn’t pushing him away, Arthur was kissing him back, untangling his hand from Merlin’s to wrap it around Merlin’s neck and pull him in even closer, deepening the kiss.

“Arthur,” Merlin hummed against Arthur’s lips, smiling into the kiss. “I’ve wanted to do that for so fucking long. Since I first met you.”

Arthur pulled away just slightly. “I thought you hated me when you first met me?”

“Shut up. More kissing.” Merlin pulled Arthur back towards him and wrapped a leg around his hip. Arthur moaned into Merlin’s mouth as their cocks brushed against each other through layers of denim. Encouraged by the fact that Arthur was obviously enjoying this as much as he was, Merlin began to grind his hips against Arthur’s, slowly at first, almost teasing.

“Merlin, fuck ,” Arthur groaned against his ear.

Merlin rolled them so Arthur was on his back and fit himself in between Arthur’s thighs, not breaking the contact between their hips. He reached down and pulled his own shirt off then went to do the same for Arthur, but his got caught over his head.

“Wait, I’ll um -”

“Here let me -”

“No I got it -”

After a bit of a struggle they finally managed to free Arthur from his top. Merlin readjusted so he was straddling Arthur’s leg and lowered himself to continue kissing Arthur. Arthur ran his hands down Merlin’s side, a little hesitantly, fingertips just barely brushing Merlin’s skin, and Merlin shivered at the light touch. Then Arthur’s hands reached the incredibly ticklish spot just about Merlin’s hip bone. Merlin jumped, reaching down to knock Arthur’s hand out of the way, and somehow in the process managed to knee Arthur in the groin.

Arthur exhaled sharply, rolling away from Merlin with a little moan. His hand came down to cover his crotch, as if protecting it from further attacks by Merlin’s knee.

“Oh god, shit I’m sorry!” Merlin sat back, hovering above Arthur, afraid to touch him.

“No, it’s alright,” said Arthur wincing, “I’m not really into that S&M shit though, so let’s try and avoid the pain, yeah?”

Merlin laughed nervously. “Yeah, ok.”

Neither of them moved for a moment, both waiting for the other to continue.

“Well, um, keep going then?” Merlin said, feeling incredibly awkward all of a sudden.

Arthur’s eyes flitted around the room before coming to rest on Merlin, and Merlin could have been mistaken, but he thought Arthur looked a bit nervous.

Arthur nodded and rolled on to his back again, and Merlin slotted himself between Arthur’s legs, careful to watch his knee placement this time. He began to rock his hips against Arthur’s, slowly at first.

“How’s this?” he asked, lips brushing Arthur’s. He could feel Arthur’s cock respond to the friction of Merlin rubbing against him.

“Good, so good,” Arthur murmured, eyes fluttering closed.

Merlin reached a hand down between them and palmed Arthur through his jeans, smiling slightly when this elicited a groan from Arthur. Merlin undid the button on Arthur’s jeans, unzipping them and slipping his hand under the waistband of Arthur’s boxers.

“W-wait,” Arthur breathed.

Merlin stopped, his hand frozen just above Arthur’s cock.

“What? Do you want to stop?”

“No, no I -” Arthur swallowed and Merlin was momentarily transfixed by his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Can I - I want to - can I blow you?”

There was a blush spreading across Arthur’s face and Merlin could count on one hand the number of times he had seen Arthur Pendragon embarrassed and oh god, now all Merlin could picture was Arthur’s mouth on his dick, his pink lips taut around him and his blue, blue eyes looking up at him as he sucked him off and he needed it right the fuck now.

Merlin’s breath caught in his throat. “Yes, god yes, please.” It came out as a bit of a whine, but Merlin didn’t care. Arthur rolled them again, sitting up and fumbling with the button on Merlin’s jeans. His hands were shaking slightly and he couldn’t seem to get it undone. Merlin reached a hand down to help him, popping the button and sliding them down to his knees. Arthur just stared at Merlin’s crotch for a moment, following the outline of his cock under the thin layer of cotton of his boxers. Then he reached a hand out and traced it with his finger. Merlin moaned and bucked up towards Arthur’s hand, desperate for more contact. Arthur pressed his palm against Merlin’s dick and Merlin could feel himself getting hard in Arthur’s hand.

“Oh fuck Arthur, yes - ”

Arthur gave him a small smile and tugged Merlin’s boxers down. Merlin’s cock sprung free and bobbed against his belly. Arthur wasted no time getting his mouth on Merlin’s cock; he looked absolutely starving for it and went at it…maybe a little too aggressively.

Merlin flinched involuntarily, which just made it even worse. Arthur pulled off and looked up at Merlin, concern in his eyes.

“Are you alright?”

“Um, yeah, just maybe a little less…teeth?”

Arthur blushed even harder, his face completely scarlet. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

Merlin could actually feel the awkwardness filling up the room around them. Why was this happening? It was just sex, why was this turning out to be so difficult? Part of him just wanted to throw in the towel and try again another night, but he was still painfully hard and Arthur was there with his stupid hair and shockingly blue eyes and so he just pushed the awkward away and said, “It’s alright, keep going.”

And so Arthur did, and it was good at first, but then it just…wasn’t.

“Arthur, Arthur,” Merlin said softly, nudging Arthur’s shoulder gently. “It’s ok, come here.”

Merlin pulled Arthur up on top of him.

“But you’re still -”

“Shhh,” Merlin reached a hand down and slipped it quickly into Arthur’s boxers before he could protest. Arthur was already hard and Merlin dragged his hand lazily along Arthur’s length, eliciting all sorts of delicious noises from him.

“Oh fuck, yes.” Arthur rocked his hips, thrusting up into Merlin’s fist.

Merlin sped up his hand, pumping Arthur’s cock as Arthur moved against him. Just as Merlin was about to grab his own cock and strip them together, Arthur came with gasp and a moan, come spurting across both their stomachs.

“Shit, sorry,” he said weakly between breaths, rolling off of Merlin awkwardly and poking a finger at the come streaking his belly.

Merlin was so turned on all he could think about was getting his hand on his cock as quickly as possible. He reached down and tugged at it, groaning softly. He jerked himself off as Arthur watched from where he was lying next to him. It didn’t take him very long and he was coming, adding to the mess Arthur had left on his stomach.

They both lay there in Merlin’s bed, listening as their breathing slowed to a normal rate, neither sure quite what to say.

“Well, um, I should go,” Arthur started, buttoning his jeans and reaching to grab his shirt off the floor. “Early morning tomorrow.”

Merlin nodded even though tomorrow was Saturday and he was fairly sure that Arthur didn’t actually have anything to do in the morning. He knew he should say something, like that he liked it, that it was hot, that Arthur should stay and spend the night. But for some reason the words all stuck in his throat and before he even made a move to sit up, Arthur was pulling his shirt on, waving goodbye and walking through the door.

***

Sometimes, after Arthur blows him, Merlin will remind him of the first time they tried to have sex and how shit he was at giving blow jobs and then Arthur will act hurt and say something like, “Well, if I’m so terrible at it then that will be the last one you ever get!” and Merlin will take it back and apologise and kiss Arthur and praise his blow job skills and Arthur will laugh and kiss him back and curl his arms around him and say, “We’ve really come a long way since then haven’t we?”

***

Merlin was pretty sure that Arthur hated him. Or at least didn’t seem to have any interest in ever having sex with him again. Merlin had checked his phone every five seconds on Saturday waiting for a call or a text from Arthur, anything to let him know that they hadn’t fucked everything up with their painfully uncomfortable, yet still somehow incredibly hot, sex. But he didn’t hear from him at all and every time he checked his phone the picture of him and Gwen from last summer that he had set at his background stared up at him, taunting him. On Sunday afternoon he was going a bit crazy, so he called Gwen. She usually knew what to do in these kinds of situations. Not that he’d ever been in this situation before.

“Hey, Merlin.”

“Gwen, um -”

“I’ve got like two minutes before I’m supposed to leave to meet Lance for coffee, so what is it?”

“You’re bailing on your best friend, who you’ve known since you were two years old, so that you can have coffee with Lance who you wouldn’t even have met if it weren’t for your very best friend?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a horrible person, but you’ve kind of ditched me for Arthur lately so what else am I supposed to do? Why are you calling?”

“Well, um…Arthur and I kind of hooked up Friday night. Sort of.”

“You sort of hooked up? What does that mean, exactly?” Gwen’s obvious lack of surprise upon hearing this news was kind of disappointing. Merlin had been hoping for a girly squeal or something.

“Well, let’s just say things got off to a good start and then kind of…ended badly. And I haven’t heard from him since.”

“Did you call him?”

“No.”

“Why not, you idiot? He’s probably sitting in his flat freaking out just like you. Really, you boys are impossible. Man up and call him right now! I have to go; I’ll call you after I’m done with coffee. Love you.”

Merlin groaned into the phone. Fuck. He was afraid she was going to say that.

“Alright, fine. Have fun with Lance.”

So he called Arthur, but the call went to his voicemail and he was completely unprepared and had no idea what to say, so he hung up without leaving a message. He tried texting him about an hour later but didn’t get a reply. He called him again late Sunday night and even came up with a half decent sounding message to leave if needed, but when Arthur’s pre-recorded “Hello, you’ve reached Arthur Pendragon, please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can” started playing he panicked and hung up. Again.

So he was pretty sure that Arthur hated him. And he really didn’t blame him. They had had what was arguably the unsexiest sex of all time. Merlin cringed just thinking about it. But he had still liked it, because it had been with Arthur, and even when he was giving him the worst blow job he had ever had, Arthur still somehow managed to make Merlin’s heart jump a little bit.

On Monday morning Merlin walked to class along his usual route, hoping that Arthur would pop out from behind a tree or something with a coffee the way he usually did, and his heart sunk lower and lower in his chest the closer he got to his class with no sign of Arthur. Merlin couldn’t concentrate the entire lecture, various possible scenarios of his next meeting with Arthur running through his head. He decided it was just like Arthur to distract Merlin both when he was there and when he wasn’t. Arthur didn’t show up the next day either, or the next or the next. Merlin tried calling him a few more times and actually left a couple of messages, but with no response. On Friday morning Merlin saw Arthur from across campus, his orange hat and apron almost glowing in the sunlight. He started towards him, trying to decide what to say first. He had decided to just go with I’m sorry when he looked up and saw Arthur spot him and then pointedly turn and go in the opposite direction with his coffee cart. Merlin stopped walking abruptly and the girl walking behind him crashed into him with a little, “oomph”. Merlin apologised and she stalked off, shooting him a watch where the fuck you’re walking look.

Merlin felt tears burn the corners of his eyes and he cursed under his breath. He was not going to fucking cry over his non-relationship with Arthur Pendragon. Arthur was an arrogant, self-involved prat and not worth his tears. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and took a couple slow shallow breaths. Then he pulled out his phone and sent two texts.

The first was to Gwen: Tell Lance you have to cancel. We’re getting drunk tonight.

The second was to Arthur: I miss you.

Because he did. Even though Arthur teased Merlin mercilessly and distracted him from his classes, Merlin had gotten used to Arthur being in his life. He was used to his insults and the way he ruffled Merlin’s hair and the way he always talked through movies so Merlin never had any idea what was actually happening and the way he always seemed to be around, even when Merlin had mountains of work to do. Merlin missed him. Fuck, Merlin thought. He might be falling just a little bit in love with Arthur Pendragon.

***

Drinking with Gwen turned out to not be the smartest choice. It ended up being mostly Merlin getting completely sloshed and Gwen watching him nervously as he downed half a bottle of tequila. It was fun to begin with but then ended up with Merlin crying pathetically into Gwen’s lap while she stroked his hair.

“I think I love him,” Merlin whispered weakly, hiding his face in the crook of her arm.

“I know,” murmured Gwen and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of Merlin’s head.

***

After his embarrassing breakdown with Gwen, Merlin decided that he’d had enough of pining over Arthur. If Arthur had decided he didn’t want anything to do with Merlin anymore that was fine. Merlin had plenty of other things to do; he didn’t need Arthur Pendragon and his stupid golden hair distracting him. While he had actually been doing surprisingly well in most of his classes, a little more time to study definitely couldn’t hurt. But as the days went on Merlin began to realise just how much Arthur had taken over his life. Everything reminded Merlin of him, stupid little things like mentions of movies they had seen together, or songs that Merlin had made fun of Arthur for liking, or people carrying coffee cups. Another thing Merlin was realising was that aside from Gwen, Arthur had pretty much been his only friend here. He had been so wrapped up in his classes at the beginning of the year that he hadn’t really made many attempts to befriend his fellow students, and then when hanging out with Arthur became a full time job he hadn’t really thought much about meeting other people. Of course he hung out with Lance and Gwaine, but they were really Arthur’s friends, and Merlin supposed that it would be a bit awkward to call them up now that he and Arthur had apparently broken up. Or whatever it was called when two people who were not dating ended their non-relationship.

After about a week of Merlin moping around and following after her like a lost puppy, Gwen insisted on setting Merlin up with a guy from one of her seminars. Merlin was not really in the mood for a dinner date, but he knew that he was starting to drive Gwen crazy and he had to admit, meeting a few more people on campus wouldn’t be the worst idea ever.

The guy’s name was Percy and he was huge. Like, seriously huge. Merlin was a little bit terrified of him at first because he looked like he could crush Merlin without breaking a sweat, but once he opened his mouth all Merlin’s fear faded away. Percy turned out to be one of the nicest guys Merlin had ever met. He was nervous and tripped over some of his words and Merlin found it absolutely adorable. He also found himself wondering if all of Percy was that enormous. Dinner went well and Percy was obviously interested in Merlin. He offered to walk him home and Merlin had all intentions of inviting Percy up to his flat and seeing for himself if Percy’s cock was just as impressive as the rest of his body, but when they were standing outside Merlin’s building, he found something stopping him. The words seemed to catch in his throat and an image of Arthur smiling that ridiculous toothy grin of his sprang up in Merlin’s mind.

“Fuck,” Merlin muttered. Arthur was sabotaging Merlin’s love life and he wasn’t even here.

“Is something wrong?” asked Percy, concern plain on his face.

“Um, no, not really. I um- I just, I can’t do this,” he gestured vaguely between himself and Percy, hoping Percy would understand what he meant. “At least not tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, um ok.” Percy’s face fell and Merlin mentally kicked himself. Was he seriously going to pass up a chance to fuck this completely gorgeous and lovely guy because of some lingering thing for Arthur? Apparently yes.

“I’m really sorry. I had a great time tonight and I really like you. I just- well honestly I just had this weird thing with a friend of mine and I’m not really sure what’s going on now and I just…need some time or something? I don’t want to drag you into my drama.”

Percy’s face brightened. “Oh, well that’s fine. No pressure. I like you too.” He blushed slightly and shuffled his feet as he spoke the last part and Merlin mentally kicked himself again.

“Well, maybe we could, I don’t know, hang out again? Just take things slow while I get my shit together?”

Percy nodded, “Yeah, sure. One of my friends is throwing a party on Saturday, and I was thinking about going, would you want to go with me?”

“That’s sounds great actually. I’m sure my roommate will be glad to have me out of her hair for the night.”

Percy smiled and Merlin began seriously reconsidering his decision to abstain from sex for the evening, but before he could change his mind, Percy gave him a little wave and an, “I’ll call you,” and turned to walk away.

Gwen was beyond excited that Merlin’s date had gone well. She had practically tacked him down onto the couch when he walked in the door and made him tell her every detail. He suspected that a good portion of her excitement was meant to distract him from thinking about Arthur, but he knew that she was also genuinely happy that he’d had a good time. When he got to the part about the party she actually clapped her hands.

“That’s brilliant! When is it?”

“This Saturday, he said one of his friends is throwing it.”

“Oh, well that’ll be Lance. He told me about that party in class the other day, I’m going too! Oh this will be so much fun!”

Merlin’s heart jumped into his throat. Gwen must have seen the panic flash in his eyes because the smile fell from her face immediately.

“What’s wrong?”

“Lance is the one throwing the party? Arthur’s best mate Lance?”

“Oh. Um, yeah. I guess. But we don’t know that Arthur will even be there. I bet he won’t be, he’ll probably be studying or working or something.”

Merlin groaned and slouched down on the couch. “Arthur is ruining my life.”

Gwen laughed gently and laid her head on Merlin’s shoulder. “You can’t let him, go with Percy to this party and show Arthur that you have a new hunky boyfriend and you don’t need him.”

“But...what if I do need him, Gwen?”

Gwen just hummed softly and curled up next to Merlin on the couch, wrapping her arms around him.

“You’ll be fine Merlin. I promise.”

***

The night of the party Merlin was an absolute wreck. He couldn’t figure out what to wear and walked around the flat in his boxers wringing his hands until Gwen took pity on him and laid him out an outfit. Merlin was pretty sure he had sweat through his shirt by the time Percy came to pick them up and fidgeted nervously in the doorway while they waited for Gwen to grab her coat. Gwen shot Merlin a look that plainly said calm the fuck down and focus on the gorgeous boy as she waved hello to Percy.

When they arrived Lance clapped him on the back and said that he was glad they’d made it and that he missed Merlin. Merlin searched Lance’s face for a sign that Arthur had told him what had happened between them but he couldn’t glean anything from Lance’s smile. Merlin glanced nervously around the flat, feeling his heart booming in his chest. No sign of Arthur. Merlin took a few deep breathes and felt himself calm down a bit and Percy took their coats and went off to find them drinks. Gwen grabbed Merlin’s arm and pulled him towards her.

“See, I told you, it’ll be fine, he’s not even here.”

“Did Lance say he wouldn’t be here?”

“He said he was at the library working on an essay or something.”

“What if he -”

“Merlin, stop, you’re driving yourself crazy. Go talk to your date.” Gwen gave him a little push towards Percy, who had emerged from the kitchen with a drink in each hand. He handed one to Merlin and smiled. Merlin took a sip and smiled back. He could do this. It would be fine.

The party turned out to be a lot of fun. Percy introduced Merlin to some of his friends, a few of whom Merlin already knew through Arthur, they danced a little, had a few more drinks and ended up on the couch talking. They were both a little tipsy and they sat all squashed up together, Merlin tucked up into Percy’s side, and he had to admit, it was nice sitting here with Percy’s big strong arms curled around him; it felt very safe. Merlin’s half-drunk brain was trying to decide if safe was really what he was looking for when all of a sudden Percy’s lips were on his. Merlin was so surprised that he squawked and pushed (albeit ineffectively) at Percy’s chest. Percy stopped and drew back, lips parted, a confused expression clouding his face. But Merlin wasn’t paying any attention because all he could see was Arthur. Arthur was standing across the room staring at Merlin, features contorted in a look of such utter anguish that Merlin’s breath caught in his throat. Arthur turned and ducked into the hallway and Merlin leapt off the couch, disentangling himself from Percy’s arms (which took a considerable amount of effort) and ran after him. Merlin caught him in the hall and pushed them both into an open bedroom, shutting the door behind him and standing against it as if blocking the way in case Arthur tried to escape.

They both just stood there looking at each other for a minute until Merlin spoke.

“You weren’t supposed to be here.”

Arthur looked genuinely confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Tonight. Lance said you were at the library.”

“Oh, well I was, but I told him I’d stop by if I finished early enough.”

Merlin shifted uncomfortably, not moving away from the door. “He didn’t mention that.”

“Would you have left if he had?”

Probably, Merlin thought. “No,” he said. “I’m not the one who completely bailed and ran away. You’ve been avoiding me.”

Arthur at least had the good sense to look ashamed at that. He shuffled his feet and began pulling at the bottom of his shirt like he always did when he was nervous.

“I’m sorry about that.”

Even though Merlin had told himself numerous times that the next time he spoke to Arthur he’d be calm and discuss things like an adult, hearing Arthur mutter his lame apology made something snap inside him and he exploded.

“You’re sorry? Yeah, well, me too. I’m sorry that I was such an idiot and actually thought that we’d become real friends. I’m sorry that I kissed you. I thought there was something there but obviously I got the wrong idea. But just for the record, next time you might want to be a little more clear. The teasing and sleepovers and late night phone calls and study dates and fucking stalking kinda give the wrong impression. It’s all a fucking game to you isn’t it? I should have been able to tell from the god awful sex that you weren’t into it but I guess I just really am that oblivious. So fuck you, I’m sorry too. Sorry that I wasted my time on you.”

Merlin stopped, breathing hard, suddenly having a flashback to that afternoon outside his physics lecture hall when he had shouted at Arthur the first time. He should have gotten away from him when he had the chance. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He reached behind him and turned the doorknob, planning on fleeing back to Percy and erasing this whole fucked up thing with Arthur from his mind with lots and lots of sex. But before he could open the door he felt Arthur’s hand on his wrist.

“Merlin, wait. I um- I have to tell you something.”

Merlin shook his wrist free of Arthur’s grasp but didn’t make another move to leave the room. He turned towards Arthur who had his hands knotted up in this shirt and was focused on something apparently very interesting happening on the floor.

“What?”

Arthur looked up and Merlin could see that every piece of Arthur’s skin not covered by clothing was flushed a deep scarlet. Merlin had a sudden urge to wrap his arms around Arthur and fix whatever was making him so nervous, but he held his ground and waited for Arthur to speak.

“That night when we -” Arthur made some vague motion with his hands that Merlin took to mean their unfortunate sex attempt, “That was the first time I’d - I hadn’t - I’m -”

Merlin’s eyes widened as he realised what Arthur was trying to say.

“Oh my god, are you a virgin?”

Arthur blushed even harder, but didn’t deny it.

Before he could stop himself, Merlin laughed. He had come up with so many reasons that Arthur could have been avoiding him, he had spent literally hours and hours compiling lists in his head and at no point had ‘Arthur Pendragon is a virgin’ appeared on any of them. It was just so ridiculous a concept that he couldn’t quite believe it. But when he looked up at Arthur, he saw that laughing had been the wrong thing to do. Arthur’s expression had switched from mortified to furious.

“Fuck you,” Arthur gritted out through clenched teeth. He stalked towards the door, pushing a still stunned Merlin aside, wrenched it open and disappeared into the hall. Merlin stood in the dark bedroom for a minute before he realized what had just happened and took off after Arthur. But when he tumbled out into the room where the party was still in full swing, Arthur was nowhere to be seen.

Percy, who was standing against the wall talking to one of his friends that Merlin had met earlier, saw Merlin standing in the doorway, still in a bit of daze, and crossed the room towards him.

“So I’m assuming that Arthur was the friend you mentioned before?”

Merlin just nodded.

“Didn’t look like things were quite figured out between you two.”

Merlin shook his head, his brain unable to form complete sentences just yet.

“Are you alright?”

That snapped Merlin out of his shocked state. Merlin had just kissed Percy and then taken off to have an argument with his ex - or whatever the fuck Arthur was - with no explanation what so ever. Anyone else would have been pissed, but here Percy was asking if Merlin was ok. Merlin felt like the worst person ever.

“Shit, I’m sorry Percy. I just thought….I thought I was getting over all this. But obviously I’m not. I’m sorry about tonight. I was having a really good time though until, well, all this.”

Percy gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, it’s alright, I understand. Relationships with friends can really fuck with your head.”

Merlin smiled weakly back at him. “Yeah.”

“Maybe another time? After you get this sorted?”

“Yeah maybe,” Merlin said. “I’m sorry again.”

Percy just shrugged, gave him a little wave and walked back towards his friends, leaving Merlin still standing in the doorway with no idea what to do. Luckily, Gwen spotted him and when she saw the look on his face, she was across the room in a second.

“I think I fucked up,” was all Merlin could manage. Gwen just nodded and went off to collect their coats, then herded Merlin out the door and back to their flat. When he was alone in his room, Merlin called Arthur, but unsurprisingly the call went right to voicemail.

Hey Arthur, its me, um Merlin. I’m sorry I was such a dick tonight. I had no idea that you’d - that you were a virgin. I just assumed that since you were, well, you know, you, that you would have had guys lining up to sleep with you. I’m sorry I laughed, I shouldn’t have, I was just kind of in shock I think. Please call me back. I didn’t mean it when I said the sex was awful, it really wasn’t it. I- I liked it. I’m sorry again and…..I still miss you.

***

On Sunday, Merlin called Arthur ten more times and sent him about fifty texts. When at eight o’clock he had still gotten no response to any of his increasingly desperate messages he grabbed his coat and headed over to Arthur’s flat. When he got there he marched up to the door and jabbed at the button next to ‘Arthur Pendragon Flat 3b’ and waited. Radio silence. Merlin tried the door, but it didn’t budge. He groaned and was about to give up and go home when a girl walked up to the flat, keys in hand. Merlin loitered on the step while she unlocked the door and then slipped inside behind her. He bounded up the steps two at a time until he was standing outside Arthur’s door. He knocked three times and waited. No response.

“Arthur,” he called, “Arthur, its Merlin. I know you don’t want to talk to me but I’m really, really sorry about last night. I’m an idiot. I don’t care that you’re a virgin, I think it’s hot-”

Arthur wrenched the door open, grabbed Merlin’s wrist, and pulled him inside.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he growled, “It wasn’t bad enough that you humiliated me last night? Now you’re going to share the details of my sex life with the entire building?”

Merlin realised at once that shouting out his apology in earshot of at least four other flats probably wasn’t his best idea. What was going on with him this weekend?

“Shit, I’m sorry. You’re right.”

Arthur continued as if Merlin hadn’t even spoken. “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to tell you that last night? God, I haven’t told anyone, not even Lance. And you laughed.”

Merlin cringed. It really hadn’t been his finest moment. “I only laughed because you’re so, well, gorgeous that I just assumed you’d…I don’t know. I mean, really Arthur, you could sleep with pretty much anyone on this campus. Do you see the way people look at you? You should have told me, I thought you were avoiding me because you didn’t like me.”

Arthur was pulling at the hem of his shirt again. “I think that night was a mistake.”

“Arthur, no-” Merlin reached out an arm to grab Arthur’s hand but he jerked it back, avoiding the touch.

“I think we should just go back to the way things were, just be friends.”

Merlin didn’t know what to say so he just stood there mute, arms at his sides. Arthur shifted uncomfortably, eyes darting between Merlin and his hands, still twisting in his shirt.

“I’ll, um, I’ll see you around, yeah?” Arthur moved to the door, holding it open for Merlin.

Merlin shuffled out the door, pausing on the other side of the threshold and turning towards Arthur.

“Arthur, I really am sorry.”

“Bye, Merlin.” Arthur didn’t even look angry anymore, he just looked tired and small and sad. Merlin again found himself wanting to wrap Arthur up in his arms and erase the look of pain from his face. But then Arthur pushed the door shut and Merlin found himself alone in the hallway.

***

Merlin moped around for two days before Gwen sat him down on the couch and insisted he tell her what was going on with him and Arthur. When he finished recounting the events of the last few days, Gwen punched him in the arm.

“Ow!”

“You idiot! What are you doing sitting here? You have to go get him back!”

“Gwen, I tried. He hates me. He actually slammed the door in my face. I’m not going back there,” Merlin whined.

“Merlin, he does not hate you. You embarrassed him. You boys and your stupid pride! It’s going to take more than a simple ‘I’m sorry’ to get him to forgive you.”

“Well what am I supposed to do? I’m not good at these kinds of things. I keep saying the wrong thing and making everything worse.” Merlin slumped further down the couch, curling up into himself while Gwen towered over him with her hands on her hips. She was slightly terrifying if Merlin was being perfectly honest.

“I know exactly what you’re going to do.”

And that was how Merlin found himself wearing a hideous orange and white striped apron and ridiculous hat, pushing a coffee cart across campus. By the time Merlin reached his chosen location (along the path on the way to Arthur’s first class of the day; Merlin had double checked his schedule with Lance the night before), he was completely out of breath and bright red. He didn’t know how Arthur did this all the time. Merlin mentally reviewed the little speech that he and Gwen had come up with the night before. He got about half way through it when Arthur appeared around the corner and started walking towards him. When he looked up and saw Merlin on the side of the path he stopped short, surprise, anger, and a hint of amusement flashing across his face. Merlin grabbed the cart and pushed it up to where Arthur stood. He grabbed the cup of coffee he had just poured and held it out to Arthur.

“Coffee?”

Arthur reached out and took it, still staring at Merlin with a look of complete confusion. One look at Arthur’s face and the way his hair actually fucking glowed in the sunlight and Merlin’s entire speech evaporated from his head. So he just started talking.

“I know I’ve already said this a million times, but I really am sorry. I suck, and I was honestly surprised that you’d never…you know, because I guess I’d kind of had this idea in my mind that you were some kind of sex god because you’re so arrogant and sure of yourself and mind-blowingly stunning. But I don’t care that you haven’t, I really don’t. I actually think it’s kind of hot, I mean, that I get to be the first one to - do that - with you.” Merlin paused and glanced up at Arthur, whose lips were forming into a small smile. So Merlin continued.

“I really like you. A lot. I honestly haven’t known what to do with myself the last couple weeks without you. I’ve been driving Gwen crazy. I can’t focus in class because I keep thinking about you and how much I want to kiss you and how blue your eyes are and how you always laugh at my jokes even when they’re awful and how you bump your leg against mine when we sit next to each other and -”

Merlin stopped talking suddenly because Arthur had sort of launched himself at Merlin and was kissing him very enthusiastically. It was messy and wet and frantic, but it was perfect. Merlin let himself sink into Arthur, who wrapped an arm around Merlin’s waist and pulled him in close against his chest. They stayed like that, pressed up close, tangled in each other, for what seemed like an eternity, neither one wanting to be the first to pull away. When they finally broke apart they were both breathless. Merlin looked at Arthur. He just looked so beautiful standing there, lips ruddy, cheeks pink, hair ruffled where Merlin’s fingers had knotted in it, that Merlin couldn’t keep it to himself any longer.

“I think I love you,” he said softly. Arthur smiled back at him and gave him another little kiss.

“Me too.”

“You think I love you too?”

“No, you idiot, I love you too.”

“Does that mean you accept my apology?” Merlin gave him a teasing smile. Arthur rolled his eyes and grabbed Merlin’s arm, yanking him in the direction of Arthur’s flat.

“Wait, my cart-”

Arthur laughed but made no move to stop. “Don’t worry about it, they can serve their own coffee, they’ve been doing it all year anyway.”

***

They barely made it through the door of Arthur’s flat before Arthur grabbed Merlin and kissed him, pinning him against the wall so hard a little gasp escaped Merlin’s mouth.

“So - where - did you - get the coffee - cart from?” Arthur asked, punctuating his words with little kisses down Merlin’s neck.

It took Merlin a minute to realise that Arthur was actually expecting an answer and another minute to come up with a coherent response.

“Oh, I don’t know exactly, Gwen took care of it.”

Arthur seemed satisfied with that answer and continued kissing his way down Merlin’s neck. Merlin closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of Arthur’s lips sucking little kisses across his collarbone. He wrapped an arm around Arthur’s waist, pulling him in so their hips were flush against each other. This time Arthur gave a little gasp at the sudden contact of their cocks through too many layers. Merlin reached a hand down to palm Arthur through his jeans, and Arthur moaned into Merlin’s mouth, hips twitching into his hand.

Then Merlin thought of something and stilled his hand.

“Why are you still a virgin?”

Arthur stopped kissing him abruptly and pulled back so they were face to face.

“Really? You’re asking me that now? While you’ve got your hand on my dick?”

“I’m just wondering. I mean, did you not want to? Or did you just not have the chance, or -”

“I just never did. I don’t know why exactly. I just came out to my father last year; I guess before that I was afraid I’d get caught or something.”

“But in the last year there’s been no one -”

“Do you really want to continue this conversation right now?” Merlin knew that despite Arthur’s impatient tone, that if Merlin said that, yes, he would like to have this conversation right now, Arthur would stop and tell him whatever he wanted to know. So Merlin made the executive decision that this particular discussion could wait until later. To answer Arthur’s question, Merlin started moving his hand again. He could feel the long line of Arthur’s now hard cock straining against the confines of his jeans.

“I think these need to come off,” he mumbled into Arthur’s mouth. Arthur nodded and unbuttoned his jeans, kicking them off while Merlin did the same with his, tossing his hat and apron aside as well. Arthur reached across and tugged Merlin’s top off over his head.

“And probably this too, for good measure,” Arthur said with a mischievous smile.

“And yours also, just to make sure we cover all the bases.”

“Oh, I promise, we’ll being covering all the bases this morning, don’t you worry.”

“You really are twelve years old aren’t you?”

Arthur just smiled that perfect, radiant smile of his and led Merlin back into his bedroom, leaving their clothes in a heap by the door.

They both crawled onto the bed and Merlin scooted up to the head, pulling Arthur up over him, opening his knees so that Arthur could slide between them. Now that the jeans were no longer in the way, Merlin could see Arthur’s arousal tenting his boxers and he let out a little moan at the sight. He pulled at Arthur’s hips, trying to get him to move.

“Arthur, I need -” Arthur started to roll his hips slowly against Merlin’s and Merlin momentarily lost the ability to speak. He arched his hips, lifting them to meet Arthur’s thrusts. The sensation of their cocks rubbing against one another even through the thin fabric of their boxers was almost more than Merlin could take, and from the little noises coming from Arthur, he was feeling the same.

“Fuck, Merlin,” Arthur groaned, speeding up his thrusts and bending down to press a sloppy kiss to Merlin’s lips.

“Oh god, yeah - like that,” Merlin whispered the words, loving the little shiver his breath on Arthur’s ear elicited.

Arthur reached down between them and freed his cock from his boxers, the tip already glistening with precome. He moaned filthily as he thrust up into the ring of his own fist and Merlin thought he could come just from listening to these gorgeous sounds coming out of Arthur.

“Let me,” he murmured, brushing Arthur’s hand away and replacing it with his own. He slid it over Arthur’s cock slowly a few times, gentle teasing strokes, making Arthur beg for it, before speeding up the pace. As he pumped his fist, Merlin savored the fact that he was the only person who had ever seen Arthur like this, the only one to hear Arthur make these noises.

“You’re gorgeous,” Merlin breathed into Arthur’s ear, even though he knew Arthur would tease him about it tomorrow. “Stupid golden hair and all.”

It wasn’t long before Arthur started jerking erratically into Merlin’s hand.

“I’m gonna - I’m almost - I’m -”

Arthur thrust twice more and came, collapsing against Merlin’s chest with a low groan. After a second Merlin reached down to draw his hand along his own still hard cock. Arthur looked down and watched Merlin jerk himself for a second and then started to slide down between Merlin’s legs, leaving a trail of come along Merlin’s belly.

“Arthur, you don’t have to -”

But Arthur already had the tip of Merlin’s cock in his mouth. Merlin gasped at the feel of Arthur’s tongue on him, throwing his head back into the pillow. Arthur licked little circles around the head before sliding up and taking more of Merlin into his mouth and sucking. Merlin’s hands came down to knot in Arthur’s hair, pressing down slightly, urging him take Merlin deeper.

“Oh fuck, Arthur -”

Arthur pulled back, sliding his mouth down Merlin’s cock and Merlin gave a low whine, pulling at Arthur’s hair, wanting more of Arthur’s hot mouth on him. Arthur obliged, gripping the base of Merlin’s cock and bringing his mouth down to meet his hand.

Merlin’s hips bucked up, fucking into Arthur’s mouth, needing more, but Arthur’s hands came up to rest on Merlin’s hips, gently holding him down on the bed. Arthur continued to suck Merlin off as Merlin writhed on the bed and pulled at Arthur’s hair. When Merlin felt himself start to tip over the edge he pushed Arthur away gently.

“Arthur, I’m close, I’m-”

But Arthur refused to move, he kept his mouth on Merlin’s cock, pink lips stretched tight around him. Seeing Arthur like that, mouth open obscenely wide, sucking earnestly, was too much for Merlin. Without any more warning, Merlin came, shooting down Arthur’s throat, gasping his name.

“Holy fuck, Arthur,” Merlin choked out, crossing his arm over his eyes, trying to catch his breath. “That was fucking incredible. Four hundred percent improvement from last time.”

Arthur pulled off of Merlin’s cock, smiling. He swallowed before saying, somewhat bashfully, “I may have asked Morgana for some pointers.”

“You asked your step-sister for advice on how to give a better blow job?”

Arthur crawled up the bed and lay down beside Merlin. “I wanted it to be good. You know I don’t do anything half-assed.”

“Still,” Merlin said. “That’s kinda weird isn’t it?”

Arthur laughed, “Yeah, it was definitely one of our more interesting conversations, but very useful.”

“I’ll say.” Merlin curled towards Arthur, resting his head on Arthur’s chest and running his hand up to trail across the edge of his jaw. “So how was that?”

“Perfect,” murmured Arthur, lips pressing a kiss into the top of Merlin’s head. “Definitely worth waiting for.”

“So, have you changed your mind about the whole ‘we should just be friends’ thing then?”

Arthur gave Merlin’s leg a little kick and Merlin giggled. “Just checking.”

They just lay there like that for a little bit, limbs tangled together, chests pressed up against one another, listening to each other breathe. Then Merlin lifted his head, resting his chin in his hands and looked up at Arthur.

“Want to go get a coffee? We’ve got that cart for the whole day, it’d be a shame to pass up free drinks.”

At that Arthur grinned and rolled Merlin over, pinning him against the bed and kissing him.

“We’re not going anywhere.”

Merlin smiled into the kiss and nodded. Who needed coffee, he had Arthur.

***

Whenever Merlin and Arthur go back to visit Albion, they always make a point of stopping by the coffee cart. Arthur will inevitably make some comment to the poor student serving them their coffee about how he seduced Merlin using this very cart, which no one ever knows how to respond to. Arthur will continue recounting their epic romance to the unsuspecting student who didn’t know that this was included in his job description, until Merlin gently tugs Arthur’s arm and shoots the barista an apologetic look. Merlin will wrap his arms around Arthur and Arthur will whisper in his ear, “I think I love you,” and Merlin will kiss him and whisper back, “Me too.”

*The End*