[4.08] I’d break apart too, if I knowed what you knowed

[ourslutty_yoda]

She watched the water run into the drain. It was red at first, then pink, then a sort of soapy orange before it started to run clear. It was strange, not healing properly. The scar on her back was perpetually tender, the same place as Sam's and just starting to crackle around the edges. The center was still soft and red, like it'd never healed at

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[notantichrist]

Sam was irritated at being interrupted. Mostly because he was irritated at everything these days. Surprisingly, he was less irritated at Ruby than most people simply because he couldn't afford to be irritated at Ruby so when she walked in he'd ignored her at first, thinking she'd go away but knowing she wouldn't. He listened to her, panic fluttering inside of him, screaming to be let out and he shoved it down, clamped the knowledge that if he lost it now he'd never it back down over the panic and swallowed hard

[ourslutty_yoda]

"Oh baby, if I ever thought you'd follow through on that threat I wouldn't have fixed the Colt for you," she retorted sweetly. She was pleased her boy still had some fight left in him. "Regardless, I'm happy you agree with my plan."

Because what else could a death threat be but a 'yes dear'?

She squeezed his shoulder, fingers pressing hard enough to bruise. He could take it, he was a big boy after all. Thought he could take on Dean's demons all by himself. He knew better now, knew he needed all the help he could get - Dean, Ruby, Bobby, demons.

"Tick tock, Sammy," she added in the singsong voice she knew he half hated. "Pencils down, the test is over. What's your answer, Sammy? Pony up or let Dean die?"

[notantichrist]

Sam was glad for her fingers digging into his shoulder. It was something to focus on outside of the idea of failing. Part of him wanted to beg to her to squeeze harder. Instead he just watched her with that angry glare. He couldn't deny that he wouldn't follow through on his threat. He'd never intended to. It was just a threat, almost like calling Dean a jerk. He insulted Dean and threatened Ruby.

"Am I going to get something besides fucking vague answers? Now that we're being 'honest' about everything?"

[ourslutty_yoda]

"Maybe," she answered with a shrug. Hey, she was being honest. But the look on Sam's face killed her and she melted. "Yeah. The truth, it's this new thing I'm trying. Not lying to Sam."

"But I don't have all the answers," she warned. (Not that he ever listened to her warnings anyway.) "I know enough to help, but no one could ever be prepared for this, not 100%. Okay? I'm putting that on the table, up front. I'm not walking away from this, but I don't know everything. We're still working half blind."

[notantichrist]

"Yeah, 'cause that's new. We're always working half blind," Sam sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and pinched the bridge of his nose hard. He held his breath until his chest burned and let it out. Part of him wanted to beg Ruby to tell him again she wasn't leaving him in this all alone but he wouldn't. She could only be nice to him so many times a day and he was pretty sure she'd reached her limit. He took a deep breath and nodded. He leaned forward, elbows on the table and his hands on Ruby's thighs.

"We don't tell Dean about this. He'll have a bitch fit and I don't need that. Neither does he." He looked up at her. "How many have we got? So far?"

[ourslutty_yoda]

She was so proud of Sam it almost hurt. She hoped he'd live up. She had faith, but faith had gotten her nowhere and now she had it all in Sam. She didn't even know if it counted as faith since she could look him right in the eye and see everything.

"Not enough," she admitted, but she was only one person. "We need the Colt. Badly. It's a selling point. If you have the Colt more will come, it's a God damned field of dreams. We can have an army, Sam. People, demons, they're not hard to come by, but we need something to keep them. The Colt is it."

Looking down slightly, she ran her tongue over the bottom of her teeth. "I'll call Bobby and you should talk to Elle. Electro girl is kinda like the Colt, but with nice legs. No one wants to get bar-b-qued." She wrinkled her nose a little. It was true, no one wanted that.

[notantichrist]

Sam nodded. "We'll find the Colt. Bela can't hide forever." He bit his lip at the mention of Elle. He knew Ruby was right. Elle was a powerful weapon but he kind of hated dragging her into war. A battle or a hunt was one thing. He and Ruby were about to launch an all out war and he knew it. Elle was too powerful not to use. Finally he nodded.

"She'll be in. She wants to save Dean almost as much as I do." Possibly equally as much. Without Dean, she'd never get him back and he knew that he'd been gone the last month or so. As gone as a person could get and still be here. "What are they expecting of me, Ruby? I know they want me to lead and I know I'm going to have to do some things that make me uncomfortable. I can do that. Losing Dean makes me more damn uncomfortable than anything else you've asked me to do. Have we still go time?"

[ourslutty_yoda]

"Alec has a nose like a blood hound, he can find Bela." She frowned slightly, feeling much the same about putting Alec into a war he didn't belong in as Sam felt about doing the same to Elle. "I mean, if that's a-okay with you, General Hot Ass."

There might have been a little smirk.

She ticked off their tally in her head -- Sam, Dean (inevitably), Alec, Bobby, Elle, Jo, Ellen, herself, and a couple dozen demons and hunters she'd found along the way. Hell, she'd take Bela if she could. She was not to happy with the idea of approaching Amy, however.

(She'd even take the Doctor if she could, but she was sure he had issues with killing things. And this was war, things -- people -- would be killed.)

"It's not gonna be pretty, but I'll keep the sacrificing virgins off the table this time unless we have to." She didn't want to sacrifice herself, but she would, again.

[notantichrist]

Sam smirked and rolled his eyes at Ruby's comment about General Hot Ass. "As long as Alec wants to be there, I'm good with it." And he knew Alec would want to be but he didn't want to pull anyone into this without giving them a choice. It wasn't going to be easy. He made much the same mental count in his head and found it lacking. Badly.

"We're going to need a lot more. A whole lot more."

He glanced up to her, slightly smirking and that might even be something that looked like hope in his eyes for the first time in weeks. "If we can keep it to the whores I'll be good."

What? He could joke. Maybe it was dark and twisted but it was still a joke. Seriously.

[ourslutty_yoda]

"Witches, you mean?" She snorted quietly, they were whores after all. "Too bad Dean killed Tammi already. Boo

[notantichrist]

"Yeah, but Tammi wasn't on my side anyway," Sam pointed out. "She's the one that said I wasn't her messiah."

He bit his bottom lip when Ruby talked about Alec and nodded. "I'm sorry. If I thought I could keep him out of it, I would. I just don't think he'll stay out of it."

He took a deep breath as she moved on and continued to nod. "What if we talk to The Doctor? He's been wanting to help. I don't know if he can do anything but he's a Time Lord so...maybe? And Dad...I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up there somehow anyway. As far as Jesus, I'm pretty sure he's on the other side or he's not going to agree with what we're doing here."

[ourslutty_yoda]

"Oh Puppy, Jesus is definitely on your side," she told him with an apologetic shrug. But they were trying to save the world here and that was Jesus' whole shtick right? Right. Sure. Hey, she read the Bible, she knew what was up. "And Alec's an idiot, I'll take care of him."

As for the Doctor... "He doesn't seem the type to like the idea of war, though, does he? I mean I'm all for peace and free love just like the next Canadian loving hippie freak, but there is no way around this war and I think he'd make that disappointed face of his." She frowned a little, tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth as she thought. "Still, he'd be an asset. Have at it. I'll give Jez a ring and Elle can talk to Amy."

Not that Ruby wanted Amy's help, but... Sigh, they all had crosses to bear. "Anyone else that you can think of? I'm not discriminatory."

[notantichrist]

"Good. We need everyone we can get," Sam said without much consideration either way. He'd take Lucifer himself if he thought the guy would help out. However, he was pretty sure that one definitely wasn't on their side

[ourslutty_yoda]

"We can surprise Jo," she agreed. "It'll be great." Yeah, great with a side of holy shit pissy bitch.

Doctor and Elle; Sam's job. Alec and Jezebel; Ruby's job, Amy; Elle's job. Think Ruby, think!! Saints?

"Do they know anything about demons? I'm not against letting civilians help, because I just know Alec is going to ask if we can let his furry friends volunteer, but it's be great if they knew what they were getting into. Brute force and the shit that works in movies isn't going to pass muster here." The frown was still on her face, her forehead wrinkling a bit as she thought.

"J's Boy can probably help, if he agrees. Do you know of any of your Dad's friends that are still kickin'? They're less likely to try to kill you as the others are. And Tamara. Someone should look her up. Anyone who you have ever helped out up until now? This would be an awesome time to hit them up for the 'whenever you need me' shit they always spew. Any supernatural beasties you've set free, they'd be helpful too."

[notantichrist]

"He knows about demons but I'm not sure how much he knows about fighting them. I'll talk to him about it before I let him commit to anything. I'd like to keep our casuality down as much as possible."

Well duh. He wasn't being stupid or naive though. He knew they'd have some deaths on their side. It was war, it didn't work any other way.

"The last time I saw any of 'dad's friends' they did try to kill me," Sam smirked. He chewed on his bottom lip and thought about it. After a moment a grin spread across his face. "Sky. Mind controlling seventeen year old invulnerable vampire. Dean and I took out a bigger vamp that was trying to kill her last year. And if she shows up early and hungry, she'll actually get Dean to sleep for eight hours solid."

[ourslutty_yoda]

Mind controlling seventeen year old invulnerable vampire... "Wait, Sky like Schyuler Van Allen?" Ruby asked. She looked impressed, because she was. That was a big deal and she never knew that the vampire Sam had helped was a Blue Blood. Her Puppy was an awfully good hunter.

Also? Bonus for their side because Ruby knew her kind were bitches to kill. Which is why she never tried. Hi, Death wish? Ruby didn't have one.

She did however, give Sam a dry look. "Not all of them, Samuel," she corrected. "I'll look up the hunters then. I'm sure there are children and such who won't hurt you. That Caleb one in your dad's journal has a sister. And I'm sure Joshua has contacts he can finagle."

Honestly, Sam had such lacking faith in himself, Ruby had to have all of it. And no, she won't tell you how she knows that John's journal says or how she knows Caleb's sister.