Mirror, mirror, motes and beams
Today's new problem in the Guardian G2 'Private Lives' feature is from someone who is ever so worried about her sister's weight problem and eating habits:
It's not a matter of education or lack of knowledge about nutrition - she knows what good, healthy food looks like - and would naturally opt for a salad rather than a plate of chips. However, her portion sizes are very big and she eats more often than she needs to.... seems to feel that eating to excess generates good feelings....
My sister doesn't complain about her weight, she dresses well and looks good.
However, she sometimes mentions that she is larger than she would like to be.... I have broached the subject as subtly as possible in the past and she got very upset. I believe she would prefer to be thinner and doesn't like the fact that I'm reminding her of that. Despite this, as far as I'm aware, she's never been on a diet....
How do I get through to her, without damaging our relationship, that she will be happier if she eats less and exercises more?
I feel that one might equally get a problem presented by the other side of this as 'my sister has serious issues around food, dieting and body image'.
Am reminded of TV programme I once saw (in US I think while channel-surfing) - one of those Springer-esque trainwreck shows in which people bring their problems with other people and there is fun, jollity and hilarity cringeing embarrassment even if actual physical fisticuffs do not occur.
Anyway, in programme in question it was women complaining about the lack of concern over dress and style of their sisters/cousins/friends and in particular that they 'dressed like men' (i.e. overalls, jeans, etc), and that lovely people though the sisters/cousins/friends were, this caused them embarrassment when seen with them.
What struck me is that they could have made the programme the other way round with the sensible dressers complaining that their sisters/cousins/friends dressed like skanky hos (some of their outfits and general getup were quite bogglesome) and that, lovely people though the sisters/cousins/friends really were, it caused them embarrassment to be seen with them....