Gosh, if ever there were arguments for being Past All That Kind of Thing
And I don't mean just in the way that some ancient philosopher declared that being aged out of the travails of love was like being a slave freed from a capricious master -
This is quite icky enough: Surprise proposals are more and more popular - but they look dated and run the risk of denying women their moment. I have perorated before about the extremely poor ton about intruding upon some woman's moment of professional achievement in order to have a rom-com moment. Perhaps women could start turning up at these men's Big Moments to serve them with divorce papers, or possibly restraining orders.
But far, far worse is what modern couples apparently get up to in bed in a very problematically unnegotiated way and in a rather horrific assumption that that's what people do these days - (am somehow reminded of the ? French ?German ? Dutch story of the C19th bride whose husband puts her down the well on her wedding night and she thinks, no wonder nobody would tell me anything about it. Have we really come so far?): The fatal, hateful rise of choking during sex.
In some of these cases it does look as though it was being used entirely as a get-out clause for murder, or at least the outcome of violence that was not consensual 'rough sex', but in other cases people seem to be doing it as part of 'that is how people have sex now'. With partners they've just met.
No age is or was ever idyllic, I am not suggesting that there was some happy bucolic past time, but really. This entry was originally posted at https://oursin.dreamwidth.org/2954351.html. Please comment there using OpenID. View
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