Terribly poor stuff, yet another reprise
(It is round about 100 years* since my darling Dame Rebecca, then a fiery young thing, remarked that 'men are terribly poor stuff'.)
This week I had occasion to read some essays by a younger historian who works within the same general field that I do, one of which was a self-reflexive one about people's assumptions about why we do what we do, and the episode of the young man she met during a research trip who assumed that somebody who was spending her days reading Victorian pornography from the British Library Cupboard would surely be a right goer.
I don't even. If I'd spent the day reading Victsmut I would be more 'long hot bath please, followed by mug of Horlicks and something v soothing and non-sexual to read, how about Winnie the Pooh?'
Plus the simplistic connection between what people study and their personal interests.
I also came across the case of the tech developer person who felt it quite appropriate to send texts to female colleagues he had recently met in a professional context indicating that he would like to shag them.
Okay, there is probably an (?ageing) subset of men who believe that it is appropriate and even mannerly to indicate to a woman that they find her attractive and sexually desirable, this is a compliment! (I still want to scrub myself over the acknowledgement in a scholarly work where I had been of some assistance to the clueless researcher which referred to me as 'petite and charming': no, the words would actually be 'knowledgeable' and 'professionally competent'.)
And then after making the spurious plea that somebody had hacked his account, conceded, fauxpologised and made some comment about sending roses to the women in question.
Aaaaaaaaarrrrrgh. Point thahr SO misst. Recalled to me the story recounted somewhere by Katharine Whitehorn about a colleague who had been picked for an exciting and exotic work trip, and then, as the date approached, after she had made extensive preparations including necessary inoculations, was told, sorry, no, by her male boss and presented with a bouquet of flowers.
Flowers as a spontaneous gift are lovely. They do not, however, constitute a panacea for hurt, as KW pointed out. He would not have done this to a man. Women are not going to be distracted from causes of hurt by ooooh pretty blossoms.
*I am away from my copy of The Young Rebecca so am unable to be precise, but it would have been around 1914 or so.
This entry was originally posted at http://oursin.dreamwidth.org/2138937.html. Please comment there using OpenID. View
comments.