Has this gone into subtext now?
It's a long time since anyone actually said to me explicitly 'But surely a grown woman should have the poise to be able to deal with unwelcome attentions' in a discussion about sexual harassment, and in that case it was a bloke of at least a generation senior to myself, at a time when the issue was just beginning to be articulated.
Which I somehow relate to a quotation that I thought was from Cervantes, but a quick scan of quotation sites is not turning up, about the woman who by her bearing is able to pass unmolested even in a soldiers' camp, because she is just that awesome in generating RESPECT.
I suspect that this is/was the 'withering glance' or 'acerbic word' equivalent of 'why didn't you just punch him on the snoot/kick him in the goolies'.
Because while there are certainly circumstances in which asking 'Does your mother know you're out?' will be adequately deflationary, there are plenty in which it will not.
A 'withering glance' needs a fund of social capital to draw on to have the desired impact.
While the 'acerbic word' may simply get the woman tagged as 'What a bitch. Did you hear what she said to him, for no reason at all?'
But, anyway, it's all about the woman's responsibility for managing the situation and keeping it under wraps and preserving everybody's face and maintaining the social equilibrium.
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