Thank you, but I had other intentions respecting my natal anniversary?*
Over on FaceBook, somebody shared a post by somebody I've never heard of, but who appears to be a Big Name in certain circles, complaining about people wishing them Happy Birthday when FB flags their birthday up and asking them not to do it (and if they do wish to make some marker, some alternative actions that the person would prefer).
A number of commenters concur that they dislike these greetings, from people they 'never talk to'.
Okay, I can see that if you are the kind of Big Name who accrues hordes of 'friends' with whom one has no personal face-to-face or online acquaintance, this might be irksome (though I'm not at all sure that, if you really wanted, you couldn't suppress FB announcement - goodness knows, FB does a lot of stuff without telling or consulting its users, but it's usually possible to turn things off if you poke about a bit).
As somebody who habitually gives birthday greetings to members of my social networks when alerted to these events, I'm not going to say that the anti-birthday wishes people are merely miserable misanthropes**, because their reasons seem, well, reasonable in context, but I do think that circumstances differ.
For example, yes, there are huge numbers of my networks to whom I have not spoken recently, if ever. An ocean and a large landmass and time diffentials will seriously hinder in person conversation, and I've also, I'm sure, whinged mightily about the problems of getting together with people who live in the same city as I do. However, I am in online contact with the people in question and we are conversing virtually.
I can see that greetings from people who are pretty much total strangers with whom one is not actually engaging may seem spurious and facile.
But I am also with Dr Johnson on the benefits of small and apparently trivial social rituals that 'promote kindness'.
Thoughts, anybody?
*Cf the exchange 'Have a nice day'/'Thank you, but I had other plans'.
**As a miserable misanthrope myself, there is nothing wrong with miserable misanthropy.
This entry was originally posted at http://oursin.dreamwidth.org/1687927.html. Please comment there using OpenID. View
comments.