Magic mirror theory meets Melanie Klein
Okay, I was thinking about current and recent kerfuffles and hoohahs in the corners of the internet that I frequent, and there seems to be an element going on of women failing to be magic mirrors* and giving to certain men in question the completely non-judgemental positive regard + tons of admiration which they feel to be their due.
Which made me think about Melanie Klein and her apercu that the Bad Breast isn't actually doing anything, it's just not being the Good Breast giving Baby what he wants. I am aware that the jury may be out on whether her theories bear any resemblance to actual child development, but the idea that things are perceived as actively persecutory, rather than neutral, just because they are not giving an individual exactly what they want, precisely when they want it, struck me with a real AHA! moment.
In the cases in question, either venturing a mild criticism of creepy behaviour within a particular group (not of the specific individuals who are getting aereated over it) or not taking person/group at their own valuation of impeccability, is perceived as an actual and vicious all-out attack, rather than a mild statement that 'in certain respects, you could improve your behaviour'. (OMG, bitch sez weer not perfickt!!!)
I know we (well, me, anyway) are all invested in our own self-image and get defensive when criticised, but this did strike me as above and beyond.
*I assume eny fule no V Woolf's formulation of male expectations that women will act as magic mirrors reflecting them at, at least, twice life-size
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