everything hurts.. lately...
so what is this so called love.. and where does it come from.. and is marriage a sacred thing that we hold so dear and fear to let go.. im not sure how i feel about relationships right now.. i know that i have lost a lot of faith in my parents now.. and i feel like i dont have parental figures at all.. i have become a statistic.. i came from a broken home.. and now probably more than likely i will have another broken home.. but i choose to tread on and learn from my parents mistakes in life.. sometimes i pray and i really wish that i was never forced to leave my mothers house.. i really wish that my parents weren't such a dissapointment to me.. as much as i love them.. i cant condone anything they have ever done in the past.. and i sit up night after night and cry and wonder why has my home life turned out to be such a train wreck or tragedy if you will... if i ever have kids ever i hope that i can be to them the father that i wanted.. and alot of the time im scared.. that if i was to have a kid.. that i would fail and dissapoint them very much... things could be alot worse and i know that i dont have it as bad as other kids.. but if this the worst it could be for me then i would say that i have it really really bad....