A number 3 for me?
Might be. Not planned. Very mixed feelings. Feelings all over the place. Up and down, happy and sad and scared. And a bit crazy.
I can't actually envision a newborn baby at the end of this fall season, so I'm not sure if that is from an intuitive place, or if it is just because this was an unplanned pregnancy and I'm still in shock and just still in a denial phase... I never ever ever anticipated having an oppsie. I thought I was WAY too much of a control freak to let that happen. But hating all birth control options I'd tried, waiting for Kyle to get the vasectomy, having too much wine at a housewarming party and then losing sight of what point of my cycle I was in... and here we are.
I went to my doctor the other day to ask for thyroid blood work and the pee dipstick test the office did only came up with a "faint positive". So then once I started thinking this might be another miscarriage I of course got panicky and a bit sad. I went for a blood test right away, and at what I think was 16 DPO or 4w2d, HCG level was 379. Today, a bit less than 48 hours later, my level was682. So pretty strong numbers for this early in pregnancy. But there is SO much cramping that every. single. time. I use the bathroom I look for red. I don't like this part.
So many worries.
Appointment booked for next week with the midwife I had with Ariana. That is the beacon of light so far-- I loved going to that midwifery practice.
**This is most definitely TOP SECRET news. Not sharing this news and shouting from the rooftops the moment the second line appeared with this one. Need a lot more time to digest this myself. Need to make sure this is a viable, healthy pregnancy and that I make it quite far into the first trimester.
So far no sick, but it is early yet. Dreading, absolutely dreading the sick. I have a glimmer of hope that if this pregnancy sticks *maybe* there won't be the sick this time. Please.
I can't actually envision a newborn baby at the end of this fall season, so I'm not sure if that is from an intuitive place, or if it is just because this was an unplanned pregnancy and I'm still in shock and just still in a denial phase... I never ever ever anticipated having an oppsie. I thought I was WAY too much of a control freak to let that happen. But hating all birth control options I'd tried, waiting for Kyle to get the vasectomy, having too much wine at a housewarming party and then losing sight of what point of my cycle I was in... and here we are.
I went to my doctor the other day to ask for thyroid blood work and the pee dipstick test the office did only came up with a "faint positive". So then once I started thinking this might be another miscarriage I of course got panicky and a bit sad. I went for a blood test right away, and at what I think was 16 DPO or 4w2d, HCG level was 379. Today, a bit less than 48 hours later, my level was682. So pretty strong numbers for this early in pregnancy. But there is SO much cramping that every. single. time. I use the bathroom I look for red. I don't like this part.
So many worries.
Appointment booked for next week with the midwife I had with Ariana. That is the beacon of light so far-- I loved going to that midwifery practice.
**This is most definitely TOP SECRET news. Not sharing this news and shouting from the rooftops the moment the second line appeared with this one. Need a lot more time to digest this myself. Need to make sure this is a viable, healthy pregnancy and that I make it quite far into the first trimester.
So far no sick, but it is early yet. Dreading, absolutely dreading the sick. I have a glimmer of hope that if this pregnancy sticks *maybe* there won't be the sick this time. Please.