Desert Song
So... I got my own place in Sacramento its smal but good for me. Fox has retreated to So-cal and once again left me here to work and be alone before his ship date. Do I think I can handle him being away, I am honestly not too sure today. Some days I think its not to bad and days like now well its... put simply hard. I am not good at alone, I am a physical person, not so much sex but cuddles and hugs.
Woke up with a dream of my mother this morning, she kept urging me to wake up and I refused as I did when I was younger. I kinda didn't want to wake up because I enjoyed the sound of her playful voice. I smile at it now because I am glad to say she sounds the same, I am always afraid the longer she is gone that I will forget her voice or even features. I sat up hoping to see a glimpse of her, that maybe God would grant me that but no.
So I'm in my dark unfurnished apartment, in a bit of a slump. Then Fox decides to be a cruel bastard which he has been for about a week now. OK cruel bastard is a little rough, he has just been very irritable. I understand we are under a lot of money pressure. OK here is my vent for this, he is down there mooching off people, I am the one with the apartment, bills, job. What exactly does he stress about, he doesn't buy food, he is leaving in about two months. He has people who care about him around him, maybe not his bro but there is T'iana and that family. What do I have a apartment... no one is here. So after we fought I cried and howled, my poor neighbors probably though I was crazy. I took a deep breath and now I am here typing. Glad I have ADD sometimes, i have to go to work at 4 and I am happy to be there because I can't think. I need an on and off switch for my mind... can they surgically place one there?
Well life at this moment not too great but heres hope it gets better. I really need a tv.
Woke up with a dream of my mother this morning, she kept urging me to wake up and I refused as I did when I was younger. I kinda didn't want to wake up because I enjoyed the sound of her playful voice. I smile at it now because I am glad to say she sounds the same, I am always afraid the longer she is gone that I will forget her voice or even features. I sat up hoping to see a glimpse of her, that maybe God would grant me that but no.
So I'm in my dark unfurnished apartment, in a bit of a slump. Then Fox decides to be a cruel bastard which he has been for about a week now. OK cruel bastard is a little rough, he has just been very irritable. I understand we are under a lot of money pressure. OK here is my vent for this, he is down there mooching off people, I am the one with the apartment, bills, job. What exactly does he stress about, he doesn't buy food, he is leaving in about two months. He has people who care about him around him, maybe not his bro but there is T'iana and that family. What do I have a apartment... no one is here. So after we fought I cried and howled, my poor neighbors probably though I was crazy. I took a deep breath and now I am here typing. Glad I have ADD sometimes, i have to go to work at 4 and I am happy to be there because I can't think. I need an on and off switch for my mind... can they surgically place one there?
Well life at this moment not too great but heres hope it gets better. I really need a tv.