Drowning Lessons
So here I fucking am, in Sacramento, by myself. We didn't make it money wise, so Fox headed south. I am here with Dimples, living with her and her boyfriend, taking care of her baby. Voice brings up things that I won't admit, which is sad that he knows me better than most. Yes he's right Fox did kinda volunteer me for this gig, I did agree to it because it got us a new start. I am honestly depressed, afraid as well because I know Fox's sex drive and I know his addition (kat) is close by. She calls him, and sends him text, she just won't let go. Funny how we came here for a new start and he's back down there.
I am with Voice on this, I am up here doing something I really don't want, while he is down there doing I don't know what. Voice puts things in my head and now I am sick to my stomach with what could be happening. This in facts get me nowhere. So if I wasn't with someone like Fox would I still have this fear. I don't mind him sleeping with girls, the rules are
1) No staying the night
2) I need to know about it
3) My permission is needed
He promised he would not do the swinging thing alone, it would be three not two. Why does everything else about him have to be perfect but this one thing. I have to the realization that I am swinging because of Chris... because he likes it. I don't, all I need is him.
Do they ever grow up and learn that is all a stupid game?
This is my venting moment, well all that up there was too but here is also what else I know. He has nowhere to stay up here. I hate that thought, I would live in the car with him, hell I did it with my mom, I can do it again.
As of right now, I'm depressed... ok I feel a bit better now.
I am with Voice on this, I am up here doing something I really don't want, while he is down there doing I don't know what. Voice puts things in my head and now I am sick to my stomach with what could be happening. This in facts get me nowhere. So if I wasn't with someone like Fox would I still have this fear. I don't mind him sleeping with girls, the rules are
1) No staying the night
2) I need to know about it
3) My permission is needed
He promised he would not do the swinging thing alone, it would be three not two. Why does everything else about him have to be perfect but this one thing. I have to the realization that I am swinging because of Chris... because he likes it. I don't, all I need is him.
Do they ever grow up and learn that is all a stupid game?
This is my venting moment, well all that up there was too but here is also what else I know. He has nowhere to stay up here. I hate that thought, I would live in the car with him, hell I did it with my mom, I can do it again.
As of right now, I'm depressed... ok I feel a bit better now.