Two Cranky Old Men
I think I’ll visit UP next week and have coffee with E. He must be lonely and depressed because N is in coma. Sad news. That means he’s the last Materialist-Marxist man standing in the department. That’s a lonely spot to be in. I know he and N are tight, having been witness to the birth of the Communist Party and the Martial Law. N actually was one of the founders, and was ambushed, and tortured. He walks with a limp, because of a shrapnel embedded in his leg, the result of the ambush. E, they say, was not “collectivized” but he was a staunch supporter of the Party. (And in class, a great theorist.) Whatever his criticisms of the Party were, he kept it to himself.
Ellainey and I were supposed to visit N at the hospital yesterday but we had to cancel it. Loit said N underwent an operation the other week to transfer the feeding tube directly to his stomach. Now, I feel guilty. We enjoyed N’s class, and despite his crankiness, we learned a lot from him. He has a reputation of going berserk in class. (If you were hunted and tortured, too, you’d be like that.) But always, it was the righteous anger-kind. The last time we talked, I asked N for a better grade. After much grumbling and a mild scolding, he relented but ordered me to pass another book report. The book he gave me was about the First Quarter Storm. I didn’t read it (although I tried!) and avoided him in the halls, after that. Now, I feel even more guilty.
I know I should touch base with E more often. He seeks company, what with his crappy job at the department and being around with freshmen who can’t do and doesn’t care a bit about lit theory/criticism. But he has become extra-depressing lately and I’m afraid that I would scold him for being so obsessed with a student. (He doesn’t know that I know that. He doesn’t know that I know that sometimes he can’t sleep at night because of her. I heard the girl was creeped out). I worry about E all the time. I picture him bored and alone at his house, lovelorn and so sick of this generation and of himself.
Ellainey and I were supposed to visit N at the hospital yesterday but we had to cancel it. Loit said N underwent an operation the other week to transfer the feeding tube directly to his stomach. Now, I feel guilty. We enjoyed N’s class, and despite his crankiness, we learned a lot from him. He has a reputation of going berserk in class. (If you were hunted and tortured, too, you’d be like that.) But always, it was the righteous anger-kind. The last time we talked, I asked N for a better grade. After much grumbling and a mild scolding, he relented but ordered me to pass another book report. The book he gave me was about the First Quarter Storm. I didn’t read it (although I tried!) and avoided him in the halls, after that. Now, I feel even more guilty.
I know I should touch base with E more often. He seeks company, what with his crappy job at the department and being around with freshmen who can’t do and doesn’t care a bit about lit theory/criticism. But he has become extra-depressing lately and I’m afraid that I would scold him for being so obsessed with a student. (He doesn’t know that I know that. He doesn’t know that I know that sometimes he can’t sleep at night because of her. I heard the girl was creeped out). I worry about E all the time. I picture him bored and alone at his house, lovelorn and so sick of this generation and of himself.