Intro Post and Question

[thaddeusdagan]

Hi, all! I'm Tad. I'm 33 years old, born female and married to a straight man. I've only very recently admitted to and started to deal with a gender dysphoria that's been present at least since I was a teenager and which has been much worse for the past three years or so. I'm not sure if I'm genderqueer, bigendered or FtM, and am in the process

Comments

[amhrantine]

I'm lucky that the eternal pronoun debate doesn't worry me. I'm fine with whatever pronouns you want to chuck at me and I'm not going to scream if you get the "wrong" ones (mainly because I'm genderqueer and it doesn't really matter.) I just do what I want, basically, and don't let my gender screw with anything. If I want to follow male-oriented pursuits, then I will. If I want traditionally female pursuits, then I'll do that.
Inasmuch as appearing your assigned sex, you can still bend it. If you're biologically male and want to fem up your appearance to sit somewhere in the middle, that may help. Or the reverse - go birl. Sometimes I've been told you can't tell with me, and I get a lot of "good evening sir, I mean ma'am, I mean ..." I think it's do-able to blur things sufficiently and refuse to fit into the binary (if of course you're that way inclined) without strictly medically transitioning. I tend to use my gender-neutral name more and more.
When there is a big emphasis placed on sex - example for me being bunked up by sex at uni, I just have to deal with that. I don't mind my assigned sex being used in that instance, because I'm just as equally not the other side of the binary, so it'd be equally wrong to be there. It just gets my back up that they segregate people like that. Gr.

[thaddeusdagan]

Thank you. I am moving towards a more androgynous look and I hope that helps. My husband is really hoping I'm genderqueer instead of strictly FtM, and at this point I'm not really sure - but it doesn't feel quite right for me somehow. And I'm with you on the segregation - one of the places I looked at going to for uni had mixed dorms and non-gender-specific toilets and I thought that was totally fantastic, though it freaked a lot of other people out. As a pansexual person, I've never quite got the whole idea that you're in a perfectly safe, nonsexual space only if you're with your own gender exclusively.