OK I have to say this

[our_menagerie]

We have said not much bothers us about people getting the terms wrong when it comes to us being multiple because there is so much to learn if you dont know, its perfectly understandable. However, if you yourself are multiple please learn the correct terms for the love of....my sanity! lmao

Comments

Sort of off the topic

[mermaidnchains]

Im confused on how alters is used. I mean, it doesnt seem right to me. Who determines who the 'real' person is vs alters? You are all REAL people.

I mean - ok - there are more than one of you in a body. That doesnt mean, in anyway, that each of you is less REAL than the next. Alters implies - a shadow of a self, or a mirror view, something not whole or not real in and of itself.

Its bothersome to read it, its kind of frustrating not to understand why it gets used, and its even more frustrating not having another word to use in place of it.

So, back to the question: who determines who the core personality is? Who determines who is an 'alter'? Who, in fact, has the authority to declare one person isnt as valid or real or rightfully front and center personality than the others? Is it different for everyone?

More - am I making some kind of Multiple-social fax pas by asking?

ps - Paige is my daughters middle name. I absolutely love it, wanted it to be her first name but couldnt find a good match for middle. Now she is Alexandra Paige. :)

Ok thats the end of my off topic question. You can delete this off this post if you feel it will confuse the original post.

~Lynn

Re: Sort of off the topic

[mermaidnchains]

And as even an asside on THIS comment, I tend to assume that when I reply to a post by an individual person within your community of people, Im speaking directly to that person. I rarely reference YOU as YOU ALL unless I really intend to convey the message back to everyone that I speak with.

Is that somehow wrong or offensive? Now Im worried.....

Re: Sort of off the topic

[our_menagerie]

If I make a post and leave my name on it, and you reply, it makes perfect sense that you would be replying to me. It is not offensive to any of us. Just someone else may end up replying back to you instead depending on who is out or who feels like they have the most to say in response.

Hmm I suppose the other side of this is that could be offensive that the orignal person doesnt reply back but I never thought of that before.

~paige

Re: Sort of off the topic

[our_menagerie]

Hah your first reply made me lol.

who determines who the core personality is? Who determines who is an 'alter'?...

Yes, its different for every multiple system we know. We say Beth/sj is the core because it seems to be true for our system. She was the one who found out she was multiple back in uh 1999.(i think thats when she was diagnosed.) So we say sj is multiple and we didnt mind being called alters because back then its just the way it was and we didnt think anything of it. We still dont mind, and partly because there is not another term that is as simply understood. But that is just us, other systems we know are deeply offended by the use of that word.

More - am I making some kind of Multiple-social fax pas by asking?
Nope not at all, we would rather people ask things if they dont know. I think most multiple systems would rather people just ask what they want to know instead of assuming, but the problem is some people can be really stupid about the way they ask things and it comes across as accusatory or something else instead of just general curiosity about their friends.

My name is Paige because one of our favorite therapists last name was Page and I came around after we started seeing her so I adapted it to be my name since I didnt have a name and I thought it was pretty :) I like your daughter's name.