Happily Ever After (Popslash, Justin/JC)
Happily Ever After
Popslash; Justin/JC
PG-13; 2795 words
Justin's never stopped loving JC, and maybe this time, if he tries hard enough, he can still have his happily ever after.
For the contrelamontre hospital challenge, done in exactly 90 minutes.
You cannot believe that you don't know until one week later. All the others know, but you don't, and you wouldn't have if Chris does not call you, asking you if you had seen JC, and you respond with a "Huh?" As soon as he tells you that JC is in the hospital, you are ready to hang up, but you don't because he then tells you why, and you nearly drop the phone in shock, but you manage to mutter a hurried good-bye to Chris before hanging up, breathing hard.
Why are you the only one who doesn't know? Why? You are hurt because damn, you are JC's best friend, and maybe you haven't hung out with him lately, but still, you have been best friends with him since MMC! You cannot believe Karen didn't call you first, that she called everyone but you, and you don't understand why, you are just scared and confused and hurt and angry.
You immediately cancel everything on your calendar for the next two weeks even though Johnny protests like hell, but you don't listen to any of his sputtering and could really care less because JC is much more important than appearing on stupid talk shows, and you are already halfway to the airport by the time you hang up on Johnny.
You curse JC for preferring L.A. while you sit impatiently on the plane because L.A. is too far away from Orlando. Everyone lives in Orlando, and JC shouldn't live all by himself on the other side of the country with no one close nearby, no one like you.
The flight takes longer than usual, and the car ride to the hospital is even longer. God, don't people know anymore that important things require speed? Because everyone is slow today, and you need to get to JC immediately. You have to see him. It's already been a week, dammit!
They refuse to let you into JC's room, and you start shouting at the bodyguards, telling them that you are JC's fucking best friend and that they better fucking let you in because you fucking came all the way from fucking Orland for him, and there is no fucking way they are going to keep you from seeing your fucking best friend. They still refuse, saying that Mrs. Chasez orders it, and you're no longer shouting but fucking screaming, now directing your curses into the room, where you know Karen must be, probably deriving some sort of sadistic pleasure from your frustration.
She comes out, finally, and you have never hated anyone so fucking much. Karen tells you no calmly before you can even say a word, and you stare at her retreating back, dumbfounded and angry and unable to speak, only sputter incoherently.
Then, you hear JC's weak voice telling his mom that it's okay, you can come in, and Karen freezes. You think that JC really is heavensent, after all, and when Karen finally moves aside so you can pass her, you rush in eagerly.
JC looks thinner than ever, lying in the white bed, white sheets covering him. A large white bandage covers half of his head, and several machines are by him; he has needles stuck into his body at several places, and you can't believe that he would let the doctors stick them in before you realize that he probably was unconscious when they did so.
Not many bouquets sit in the vase on the drawer beside the bed, and you find the room too bleak and white, wondering how JC stands it. You then figure out that this whole thing really must have been kept under wraps, especially from the press, because otherwise, JC's room would be overflowing with get-well cards and flowers and candies, and now you sort of understand why you didn't know, but that only makes it hurt more.
JC is talking softly to Karen, and finally, after one long glance at you that you can't quite read, she leaves the room, and you hope she won't be back for a very long time. You pull a chair up to JC's bed and sit down, looking at JC the whole time.
"Hey," you say softly.
"Hey."
"How are you?" You find that you really don't know what to say because you have all this that you want to say but don't know how to express into something as clumsy as words, and you wonder if this is how JC feels when he's excited or nervous, stumbling over his words in the haste to get them out.
JC smiles wryly. "As bad as it looks." You reach under the covers for JC's hand, and when you find it, you clasp it tightly in your own. JC doesn't resist.
"Oh." You are really bad at this.
"Yeah." And then, the room goes silent, and you wish you knew what to say because you don't like the silence at all since it makes you think things you really don't want to shouldn't because that's the past, man, and the past should stay in the past no matter how much you don't want it to be.
"So...It's getting late. I'll understand if you want to leave or something." And you haven't even realized that you've been there for hours and Karen still hasn't returned. And you don't want to go because then, JC would be all alone, and you tell him that. He doesn't say anything else.
You fall asleep sitting by JC, and when you wake up, your head's on his chest, and you realize that you've missed waking up like this a whole lot. You gingerly snake your hand out of JC's, a little surprised that it lasted the whole night, and then stretch, and that's when you notice Karen standing by the door, just looking at you.
You feel awkward, and you don't really know what to do, but you think you should probably still greet her because it's the right and polite thing to do, and your mom raised your right. So you walk over to Karen and softly say her name, and she says your name, too, but she looks at JC the whole time. Finally, she looks at you, and she says tiredly, "Just don't hurt him anymore, Justin, okay?" And you tell her you won't because you would never hurt JC intentionally, and your mind starts to wander back to what Chris told you over the phone.
Karen leaves after one last glance at JC, and you're glad that she trusts you enough to leave. You go back in to see JC just waking up, and oh God, how long has it been since you've seen JC fresh from sleep, all warm and cuddly? But you know you can't, so instead, you smile at him and tell him good morning, and he smiles back before looking at you and asking you why you aren't gone yet, and you tell him it's because you don't want to, and he doesn't press you.
You chatter about random nonsense that day because you know you'd do anything to prevent the silence that was in the room yesterday. You tell JC about the work on the second album and how you've really missed him and how you wish, but you don't finish that. And JC just sits there and lets you talk.
At the end of the day, he asks you that shouldn't your schedule conflict with you staying by his side? You tell him that you've canceled everything for the next two weeks and would gladly cancel more until he's better, and he looks away, and you realize that maybe you shouldn't have told him that, but by then, it's too late.
You feel really gross the next day because you haven't showered in two days, so you ask the nurses for a clean gown and permission to use the shower. When you're back, Carlos is in the room, talking to JC quietly, JC nodding every once in a while. You linger by the door, immensely jealous, and you really really hate Carlos when he leans down to give JC a hug because damn, what if...?
As soon as Carlos leaves, though, JC tells you that there's not anything between them and never had been, as if he had read your mind, and you can't believe you've forgotten that JC knows you almost better than he knows himself. You sit by his bed again and take his hand, and you talk and talk and talk, and finally, you crack and ask him why. He just looks at you sadly and says that he doesn't know, and you know that he really doesn't. Your mind starts to wander back to what Chris said the doctors think, and you are pretty certain that you are at least part of the reason, and right then, you hate yourself more than anything for hurting JC because you'd never meant to but you had anyway.
When you wake up the next day, you know that you'll definitely need to sleep in a bed soon if you want to save your back because your back has been getting all these cricks and things, and you know it can't be healthy for you to be sleeping in a chair everyday.
You talk about the past all day, about Germany and No Strings and Celebrity, the days before the first big break. You carefully skirt around the touchy subjects, though, and he doesn't comment about it, but you know he knows.
When you ask him that night if you could sleep in the bed with him since sleeping in the chair has really gotten to your back, he merely lifts a side of the covers, and you slip in gratefully, arms automatically wrapping around JC. He stiffens inside your arms, but you don't slip away because isn't that what got you into this mess in the first place, your stupidity?
In the morning, you wake up with a hard-on because JC's own is pressed against your thigh, and you start humping him. That wakes him up, and he looks at you with wide eyes before trying to push you away, and when you don't budge, he shoves really hard. You didn't think he had that much strength left in him, so you get shoved off the bed, and you look up at him from the floor with wide eyes, remembering that you should never underestimate JC.
When you get back from the bathroom, JC mumbles a sorry at you, and you say that it's okay and that if it's really bothering him, you'll leave if he wants, and he tells you that it's okay, you can stay, and you're glad.
You couldn't really have prevented the path the conversation took even if you tried, and soon, you wind up asking JC what went wrong. He looks at you incredulously and doesn't answer, and you know he wouldn't because it was all your fault anyway, and how could you have been so stupid to give up something as good as JC?
You were scared even though you loved him, and you told JC that when you broke it off, that you just weren't ready for always and forever and ever after. He didn't say anything, just took it in stride, but you knew you broke him because you could hear him cry sometimes, late at night.
And you didn't know that you broke yourself, too, until you caught yourself always staring at JC wistfully, caught yourself wanting to cry when JC was crying, wishing you could have JC back, and hating anyone and anything that touched JC because they weren't you, and you were the only one allowed to touch JC except you had given it all up because you were a stupid stupid little boy who cared too much about his fame and not enough about what he really wanted and needed.
The only way to stop all that was to stop hanging around JC so much, and you did and were still doing until you heard about the accident even though all you wanted was JC, always. Sure, Cameron was fun, but you had to let her go when she became too serious because couldn't she see that you never loved her that way? But then, people were usually willingly blind, and so, you couldn't blame her too much for her visions of happily ever after. You had just been too blind to think that you could have a casual relationship with anyone because all of them eventually got serious after a while, the same way you had been too blind to see that you really did need a happily ever after, especially with JC.
That night, when you slip into the bed and wrap your arms around JC, you press your lips to his cheek, and he freezes but doesn't pull away, and after a while, he falls asleep in your arms, and you think that this is almost like old times except it'll never be old times again.
You don't want to get up the next morning and say so and whine so much that JC eventually gives in because you know that JC can't ever say no to you, still can't even after everything that has happened, and you tell yourself that you'll make it better again somehow.
The nurses merely look at you with a hint of disbelief and exasperation when they come in, but they don't make you get out of bed, and you're glad because JC is all warm and pretty beside you, and you would not leave him even if you had to because you're going to make JC all okay again, you're going to be here for him this time.
The next day, you ask him if you can try again, and he says that he's given up so much for you that there's nothing to try for anymore, but you say no and you tell him that you know that's not true, and you kiss him, and he doesn't resist, and you think maybe things will have a happy ending after all.
JC's ready to leave the next day, but the doctor tells him that he better stay at home and rest for another week, and you reassure the doctor that you'll make sure he does it. JC doesn't look at you at all, but he doesn't stop you, either.
You've almost forgotten how his home in L.A. looks like because you really had been staying away, avoiding JC, for a long time. JC immediately heads for the den, and you follow him, and when you see him reclining on the couch, looking like he's lost in thought, you take a seat next to him and lift his head into your lap, and he doesn't say anything, just lets you.
He doesn't object when you sleep with him in the master bedroom that night, and you think that maybe it's because he's gotten tired of saying no to you, not that he really could, and that it's not because he still loves you even though you never stopped loving him, but you don't dare let yourself think that.
When he wakes up, you're nuzzling him, and before he realizes it, he's nuzzling you back before he remembers the situation he's in and stops, and you think that maybe you were wrong after all, and you ask him again if the two of you could start over.
He tells you that you guys already tried this before and it didn't work, and you say it's because you were a dumbass the first time and you didn't know what you really wanted, that you were just really scared and confused, but you never stopped loving him, and you know this time that you want a happily ever after ending with no one but JC, and JC just looks at you, so you take the initiative and kiss him again, and this time, he doesn't freeze but doesn't kiss back, either, and you think that maybe you're on the right track.
When JC finishes washing the dishes after lunch because he still doesn't see the sense in using his money, not that you don't love him for it, you wrap your arms around him and put your chin on his shoulder, and he unconsciously leans back into you. And you ask him please?
He finally nods, once, and you kiss the side of his neck. And when you tell him, later, that you love him, that you never stopped, he tells you that he never did, either, and you think that maybe, if you try hard enough, you can still have your happily ever after.
03.12.01
Popslash; Justin/JC
PG-13; 2795 words
Justin's never stopped loving JC, and maybe this time, if he tries hard enough, he can still have his happily ever after.
For the contrelamontre hospital challenge, done in exactly 90 minutes.
You cannot believe that you don't know until one week later. All the others know, but you don't, and you wouldn't have if Chris does not call you, asking you if you had seen JC, and you respond with a "Huh?" As soon as he tells you that JC is in the hospital, you are ready to hang up, but you don't because he then tells you why, and you nearly drop the phone in shock, but you manage to mutter a hurried good-bye to Chris before hanging up, breathing hard.
Why are you the only one who doesn't know? Why? You are hurt because damn, you are JC's best friend, and maybe you haven't hung out with him lately, but still, you have been best friends with him since MMC! You cannot believe Karen didn't call you first, that she called everyone but you, and you don't understand why, you are just scared and confused and hurt and angry.
You immediately cancel everything on your calendar for the next two weeks even though Johnny protests like hell, but you don't listen to any of his sputtering and could really care less because JC is much more important than appearing on stupid talk shows, and you are already halfway to the airport by the time you hang up on Johnny.
You curse JC for preferring L.A. while you sit impatiently on the plane because L.A. is too far away from Orlando. Everyone lives in Orlando, and JC shouldn't live all by himself on the other side of the country with no one close nearby, no one like you.
The flight takes longer than usual, and the car ride to the hospital is even longer. God, don't people know anymore that important things require speed? Because everyone is slow today, and you need to get to JC immediately. You have to see him. It's already been a week, dammit!
They refuse to let you into JC's room, and you start shouting at the bodyguards, telling them that you are JC's fucking best friend and that they better fucking let you in because you fucking came all the way from fucking Orland for him, and there is no fucking way they are going to keep you from seeing your fucking best friend. They still refuse, saying that Mrs. Chasez orders it, and you're no longer shouting but fucking screaming, now directing your curses into the room, where you know Karen must be, probably deriving some sort of sadistic pleasure from your frustration.
She comes out, finally, and you have never hated anyone so fucking much. Karen tells you no calmly before you can even say a word, and you stare at her retreating back, dumbfounded and angry and unable to speak, only sputter incoherently.
Then, you hear JC's weak voice telling his mom that it's okay, you can come in, and Karen freezes. You think that JC really is heavensent, after all, and when Karen finally moves aside so you can pass her, you rush in eagerly.
JC looks thinner than ever, lying in the white bed, white sheets covering him. A large white bandage covers half of his head, and several machines are by him; he has needles stuck into his body at several places, and you can't believe that he would let the doctors stick them in before you realize that he probably was unconscious when they did so.
Not many bouquets sit in the vase on the drawer beside the bed, and you find the room too bleak and white, wondering how JC stands it. You then figure out that this whole thing really must have been kept under wraps, especially from the press, because otherwise, JC's room would be overflowing with get-well cards and flowers and candies, and now you sort of understand why you didn't know, but that only makes it hurt more.
JC is talking softly to Karen, and finally, after one long glance at you that you can't quite read, she leaves the room, and you hope she won't be back for a very long time. You pull a chair up to JC's bed and sit down, looking at JC the whole time.
"Hey," you say softly.
"Hey."
"How are you?" You find that you really don't know what to say because you have all this that you want to say but don't know how to express into something as clumsy as words, and you wonder if this is how JC feels when he's excited or nervous, stumbling over his words in the haste to get them out.
JC smiles wryly. "As bad as it looks." You reach under the covers for JC's hand, and when you find it, you clasp it tightly in your own. JC doesn't resist.
"Oh." You are really bad at this.
"Yeah." And then, the room goes silent, and you wish you knew what to say because you don't like the silence at all since it makes you think things you really don't want to shouldn't because that's the past, man, and the past should stay in the past no matter how much you don't want it to be.
"So...It's getting late. I'll understand if you want to leave or something." And you haven't even realized that you've been there for hours and Karen still hasn't returned. And you don't want to go because then, JC would be all alone, and you tell him that. He doesn't say anything else.
You fall asleep sitting by JC, and when you wake up, your head's on his chest, and you realize that you've missed waking up like this a whole lot. You gingerly snake your hand out of JC's, a little surprised that it lasted the whole night, and then stretch, and that's when you notice Karen standing by the door, just looking at you.
You feel awkward, and you don't really know what to do, but you think you should probably still greet her because it's the right and polite thing to do, and your mom raised your right. So you walk over to Karen and softly say her name, and she says your name, too, but she looks at JC the whole time. Finally, she looks at you, and she says tiredly, "Just don't hurt him anymore, Justin, okay?" And you tell her you won't because you would never hurt JC intentionally, and your mind starts to wander back to what Chris told you over the phone.
Karen leaves after one last glance at JC, and you're glad that she trusts you enough to leave. You go back in to see JC just waking up, and oh God, how long has it been since you've seen JC fresh from sleep, all warm and cuddly? But you know you can't, so instead, you smile at him and tell him good morning, and he smiles back before looking at you and asking you why you aren't gone yet, and you tell him it's because you don't want to, and he doesn't press you.
You chatter about random nonsense that day because you know you'd do anything to prevent the silence that was in the room yesterday. You tell JC about the work on the second album and how you've really missed him and how you wish, but you don't finish that. And JC just sits there and lets you talk.
At the end of the day, he asks you that shouldn't your schedule conflict with you staying by his side? You tell him that you've canceled everything for the next two weeks and would gladly cancel more until he's better, and he looks away, and you realize that maybe you shouldn't have told him that, but by then, it's too late.
You feel really gross the next day because you haven't showered in two days, so you ask the nurses for a clean gown and permission to use the shower. When you're back, Carlos is in the room, talking to JC quietly, JC nodding every once in a while. You linger by the door, immensely jealous, and you really really hate Carlos when he leans down to give JC a hug because damn, what if...?
As soon as Carlos leaves, though, JC tells you that there's not anything between them and never had been, as if he had read your mind, and you can't believe you've forgotten that JC knows you almost better than he knows himself. You sit by his bed again and take his hand, and you talk and talk and talk, and finally, you crack and ask him why. He just looks at you sadly and says that he doesn't know, and you know that he really doesn't. Your mind starts to wander back to what Chris said the doctors think, and you are pretty certain that you are at least part of the reason, and right then, you hate yourself more than anything for hurting JC because you'd never meant to but you had anyway.
When you wake up the next day, you know that you'll definitely need to sleep in a bed soon if you want to save your back because your back has been getting all these cricks and things, and you know it can't be healthy for you to be sleeping in a chair everyday.
You talk about the past all day, about Germany and No Strings and Celebrity, the days before the first big break. You carefully skirt around the touchy subjects, though, and he doesn't comment about it, but you know he knows.
When you ask him that night if you could sleep in the bed with him since sleeping in the chair has really gotten to your back, he merely lifts a side of the covers, and you slip in gratefully, arms automatically wrapping around JC. He stiffens inside your arms, but you don't slip away because isn't that what got you into this mess in the first place, your stupidity?
In the morning, you wake up with a hard-on because JC's own is pressed against your thigh, and you start humping him. That wakes him up, and he looks at you with wide eyes before trying to push you away, and when you don't budge, he shoves really hard. You didn't think he had that much strength left in him, so you get shoved off the bed, and you look up at him from the floor with wide eyes, remembering that you should never underestimate JC.
When you get back from the bathroom, JC mumbles a sorry at you, and you say that it's okay and that if it's really bothering him, you'll leave if he wants, and he tells you that it's okay, you can stay, and you're glad.
You couldn't really have prevented the path the conversation took even if you tried, and soon, you wind up asking JC what went wrong. He looks at you incredulously and doesn't answer, and you know he wouldn't because it was all your fault anyway, and how could you have been so stupid to give up something as good as JC?
You were scared even though you loved him, and you told JC that when you broke it off, that you just weren't ready for always and forever and ever after. He didn't say anything, just took it in stride, but you knew you broke him because you could hear him cry sometimes, late at night.
And you didn't know that you broke yourself, too, until you caught yourself always staring at JC wistfully, caught yourself wanting to cry when JC was crying, wishing you could have JC back, and hating anyone and anything that touched JC because they weren't you, and you were the only one allowed to touch JC except you had given it all up because you were a stupid stupid little boy who cared too much about his fame and not enough about what he really wanted and needed.
The only way to stop all that was to stop hanging around JC so much, and you did and were still doing until you heard about the accident even though all you wanted was JC, always. Sure, Cameron was fun, but you had to let her go when she became too serious because couldn't she see that you never loved her that way? But then, people were usually willingly blind, and so, you couldn't blame her too much for her visions of happily ever after. You had just been too blind to think that you could have a casual relationship with anyone because all of them eventually got serious after a while, the same way you had been too blind to see that you really did need a happily ever after, especially with JC.
That night, when you slip into the bed and wrap your arms around JC, you press your lips to his cheek, and he freezes but doesn't pull away, and after a while, he falls asleep in your arms, and you think that this is almost like old times except it'll never be old times again.
You don't want to get up the next morning and say so and whine so much that JC eventually gives in because you know that JC can't ever say no to you, still can't even after everything that has happened, and you tell yourself that you'll make it better again somehow.
The nurses merely look at you with a hint of disbelief and exasperation when they come in, but they don't make you get out of bed, and you're glad because JC is all warm and pretty beside you, and you would not leave him even if you had to because you're going to make JC all okay again, you're going to be here for him this time.
The next day, you ask him if you can try again, and he says that he's given up so much for you that there's nothing to try for anymore, but you say no and you tell him that you know that's not true, and you kiss him, and he doesn't resist, and you think maybe things will have a happy ending after all.
JC's ready to leave the next day, but the doctor tells him that he better stay at home and rest for another week, and you reassure the doctor that you'll make sure he does it. JC doesn't look at you at all, but he doesn't stop you, either.
You've almost forgotten how his home in L.A. looks like because you really had been staying away, avoiding JC, for a long time. JC immediately heads for the den, and you follow him, and when you see him reclining on the couch, looking like he's lost in thought, you take a seat next to him and lift his head into your lap, and he doesn't say anything, just lets you.
He doesn't object when you sleep with him in the master bedroom that night, and you think that maybe it's because he's gotten tired of saying no to you, not that he really could, and that it's not because he still loves you even though you never stopped loving him, but you don't dare let yourself think that.
When he wakes up, you're nuzzling him, and before he realizes it, he's nuzzling you back before he remembers the situation he's in and stops, and you think that maybe you were wrong after all, and you ask him again if the two of you could start over.
He tells you that you guys already tried this before and it didn't work, and you say it's because you were a dumbass the first time and you didn't know what you really wanted, that you were just really scared and confused, but you never stopped loving him, and you know this time that you want a happily ever after ending with no one but JC, and JC just looks at you, so you take the initiative and kiss him again, and this time, he doesn't freeze but doesn't kiss back, either, and you think that maybe you're on the right track.
When JC finishes washing the dishes after lunch because he still doesn't see the sense in using his money, not that you don't love him for it, you wrap your arms around him and put your chin on his shoulder, and he unconsciously leans back into you. And you ask him please?
He finally nods, once, and you kiss the side of his neck. And when you tell him, later, that you love him, that you never stopped, he tells you that he never did, either, and you think that maybe, if you try hard enough, you can still have your happily ever after.
03.12.01