Title: Always in this Twilight
Recipient:
ghostonfilmAuthor: Anon
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Hook, Henry, Regina, Mary Margaret, David (Neal and Rumple are also *there* but don't feature in the story much)
Spoilers: through 3x10
Rating: a hard PG13
Word Count: 4,202
Warnings: fluff, also some lightly lightly graphic consensual sexual touching.
Summary: Emma discovers she would have made a fantastic pirate by learning to command the Jolly Roger.
Author's Notes: I originally had a different idea in mind for this; believe it or not it started off as a dysfunctional family dinner story. But then I threw on Florence and the Machine (always a good excuse to listen) and was so inspired by the music that this came about instead. I was heavily heavily influenced by 'Cosmic Love' - such vivid images came to mind I had to write them down. So I hope you enjoy this.
“Dinner will be in 15 minutes,” Emma heard Mary Margaret call from the galley. She took a mental note of the time and turned her attention back to the skyline. She grasped her hands around the well-worn wood of the helm wheel, the smooth curves of the cedar now well known in her palms.
They’d been stuck in Neverland longer than expected, much longer. They’d rescued Henry, but his sacrifice, regardless of how mislead it was, resulted in some unexpected consequences. Henry was tied to the island, tied to Pan and they were stuck there until they could figure out a way to break the bond. Regina and Gold had been making significant progress on it, finally being able to put aside their issues to work together on a single goal. It was a bit terrifying actually, the amount of power they had between them; if they ever truly teamed up for something they’d be unstoppable.
Emma hadn’t been much use, knowing nothing about the complexities of magic - she was still a very naive apprentice of Regina’s. They’d agreed that Emma would officially apprentice under her to learn to control her magic and to explore what she could do. Emma enjoyed it, though she never spoke it aloud when Mary Margaret was around, the topic still made her uncomfortable and she was wary of Emma working with Regina. But she was enjoying discovering her own powers; she’d spent so long thinking she was unremarkable and powerless, to find out she was connected to this ancient force of good was heady.
Her lack of knowledge made her pretty much useless in trying to find a solution, she sometimes sat in on Regina and Gold’s planning sessions - well, arguing sessions really, lending her raw power when they required it. Three were more powerful than two, and when guided by Regina, her power was nothing to scoff at.
This however, left her with a considerable amount of down time. They’d moved back to Hook’s ship - they could control their surroundings there, unlike on the island itself.
She’d ended up spending a lot of time with Hook - or Killian as he preferred her to call him. Away from immediate danger, she was able to actually get to know him, to see how kind he was and what a wicked sense of humour he had; which had been a fresh relief considering the life-and-death world her life had been the past two years.
He taught her how to be a pirate. How to sword fight, how to use pirate slang, how to ‘swab the deck’ - though she was pretty sure that was just a combination of him not wanting to clean his own ship and him enjoying the view of her on her hands and knees. She’d also learned how to steer the ship, which had quickly become her favourite activity.
There was no other feeling that the feel of such a massive, strong vessel bending to her will underneath her capable hands. She learned the lingo, learned how to set the sails, how to test for the wind direction, how to read a multidimensional compas. It came naturally to her, surprising everyone. Killian had been a good instructor, teasing that she would have made a good pirate. She realized she probably would have; she already had a past filled with crime and she had quickly become addicted to being on the open seas, of steering the Jolly Roger. Plus, Captain Swan had a nice ring to it. It was a good pirate name.
There was a freedom out on the open seas, feeling the wind catch in the sails and pull the ship through the water. The rhythmic bounce of the water around the hull, the lack of direction. She loved to set her sights on the horizon and just go. She’d always been a runner, running away from her problems, her life. Now she could run, escape out into the ocean, freedom and weightlessness coursing through her veins. But she could bring her family with her this time. This weird collection of people, of fairytale characters, that had become her family. If she could go back in time and tell herself three years ago that one day she’d be sailing the seas of Neverland on Captain Hook’s ship in the company of Snow White and Rumplestiltskin, she’d think she was mad.
“How’s our ship today,” Killian asked, coming up next to her. She couldn’t pinpoint when he’d started referring to his ship as their ship, but he hadn’t done it with any sort of pomp or circumstance, so Emma had taken the gesture as a remarkable compliment. She’d started seeing the ship as belonging to her for a few weeks now, protective over it, not wanting anyone else to drive it, much like Hook acted towards everyone else but her. She had felt guilty about thinking about his ship that way without his permission; and even though they hadn’t talked about it, she felt less guilty now.
“She’s good, Captain.” she replied with a twinkle in her eye. “Wind coming in strong from the east.” That was an understatement, the wind was more than strong, it was wicked. The sails rippled from the force, making that snapping fabric sound Emma had quickly fell in love with; falling asleep to its uneven rhythm every night.
“Good work sailor,” he replied, using the nickname affectionately. Her and Henry had been the only ones eager to receive the moniker. He called everyone ‘sailor’ when they were working the ship but Regina had put a stop to that with some emphatic choice words and David had just glared. Emma never complained and Henry was eager to be an ‘honourary’ pirate, living out a boyhood fantasy.
They stood comfortable next to each other on the deck, Emma making the subtle corrections to the course as needed. She turned her head to look at him, his gaze focused out on the horizon. These past few weeks spent on the Jolly Roger had provided Emma with the chance to understand him, to really know him. How she could tell now, watching him, how relaxed he was. There was an ease in his body language only present when he was on his ship, as if being on land was unnatural. She’d only been living this life for a few weeks, let alone the two centuries he’d had on the sea, but she was beginning to understand how one could prefer it.
The lines around his eyes smoothed out, the years of strife and angst melting away leaving the young eager man he was at heart. She’d always thought he was handsome, the chiseled jaw and perfectly maintained scruff. But seeing him relaxed, at ease in his natural surroundings, the arrogant bravado could fall away and she saw how beautiful he really was. The deep colours in his eyes, swirling and changing depending on his mood or how casually he’d wear a smile. He always smiled at her, usually a mischievous come-hither smile that Emma usually found ridiculous. His real smile, the one he wore when he was playing pirate with Henry or standing next to her at the helm...that one was beautiful.
It was moments like this that made Emma think she never wanted to leave, just stay here on the boat, with her family...with him. Nothing had happened between them, but there was an unspoken acknowledgement that it probably would...at some point. She was enjoying this slowness, getting to know each other, simply just being in each other's company; not having death or crisis at their heels everyday. Emma had fallen into a number of relationships because of the dramatic circumstances around her; making emotional decisions into reactions to something in her life. She'd never been in a relationship where her life had been somewhat calm and she could make that decision instead of just reacting to something. She didn't want to rush into anything with Killian; if there was something there - and she suspected there was - she didn't want to jeopardize it before it had a chance to go anywhere.
The sun was hanging low in the sky, a few hours after noon, but still several hours of daylight left. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, belaying the ferocity of the wind.
She watched as a devious smile came over his face. “What?” she asked.
He turned to look at her, “how annoyed do you think Mary Margaret would be if we ruined her dinner?”
“Probably really upset. Why? What do you have in mind?” she asked. If it was worth the consequences, she’d probably do it.
“Nothing. Just the wind.”
She whipped her head to examine the instruments mounted on around the helm. Killian didn’t need them very much anymore, knowing the moods of the weather here by instinct. She read all the dials and arrows, gaining nothing, changing tactics and looking upwards towards the sails. The wind was beginning to increase.
“What did you have in mind?” she repeated, anticipation building in her stomach.
He snapped into his ‘pirate captain’ role; she’d learned to distinguish between his moods quicker than she had the island’s.
“Neverland, despite all its horrors, has some of the best sailing winds I’ve ever experienced. You never know when they are going to hit, no warnings, they just spring up,” he began, pacing a bit behind her.
“One such wind is coming now. You want to see how fast the Jolly Roger can go Miss Swan?” he said suggestively.
She didn’t even have to think, of course she did. “Let’s do it,” she said throwing caution - and Mary Margaret’s anger - to the wind.
“The sails then please, sailor” he ordered.
Emma surrendered the helm to him and ran down the deck, motioning to Henry to help her. Together they quickly turned the sails so they'd capture as much of the increasing wind as possible. The boat began to rock, the waves picking up, threatening to slosh over the sides. Excitement and a youthful sense of fun pulsed through her at the sharp change in direction, a warm pull in her stomach.
"Swann!" Killian called from the helm, his voice carrying over the wind. "The ship is yours!" He stepped back and released his hands from the wheel with a dramatic flourish. The boat lurched from the lack of control; the pin handles of the wheel blurring as it spun in her direction of the wind.
She grinned at him and his recklessness, running down the length of the boat, practically bouncing onto the platform. With a grunt and a slew of curse words dirty enough to solidify her new future as a pirate, she took control of the wheel, using her entire body weight to stop it's spinning and push it in the other direction.
"A little more starboard," Killian said into her ear. He was standing behind her, close enough she could feel the whip of his long coat lapels against her legs.
She followed his instruction and maneuvered the boat. The effect was almost instantaneous; she'd thought the wind was strong before, now it was practically gale-force. The sails were expanded to their fullest, pulling the boat violently through the water and the air, making it feel as if they were flying.
Killian put a hand on her hip and pointed to something on the horizon with his other hand. Emma let her gaze follow his finger and she saw it immediately; it sparkled in the air, a blue and green swirling cluster of debris (leaves, sand, material from the ocean) caught up in a dervish of magical air. Her grin expanded and she steered the boat towards it.
"Emma!" Mary Margaret called out. Emma looked towards the voice and there were her parents - and everyone else standing with them - holding onto anything nailed down, staring at her.
"What are you doing?" David chastised.
The ship lurched as another gust of wind pushed them closer to the magical wind dervish. She looked down at her family, concern on their faces - except for Henry who looked like he was having the time of his life. She felt Killian behind her, taking in the support he offered her.
"I'm having an adventure!" She answered back in its full cheesy glory. "You'd better hold on!"
They approached the magical wind spiral and second thoughts fought with Emma's resolve. When she'd come to Storybrooke she'd vowed to stop making reckless decisions and to always put Henry's safety and happiness first. But looking down at his face as he jumped around wearing that ridiculous hat and eyepatch Neal had made for him, Emma's second thoughts evaporated. And besides, Killian wouldn't put them all in mortal danger. Will renewed, she pushed towards the spiral.
"When we hit it, don't fight it, but don't let go of the wheel," he said loudly next to her ear. They were still pressed close together, his hand was still on her hip. Nervousness filled her, but she was glad he was there. If she's bitten off more than she could chew, there was an expert right behind her. A safety net. She'd never had a safety net before; the thought clung to her mind. Maybe that's what he was, but not in the bad way. He was always there for her, always has been there for her, always there to catch her if she fell, but encouraging her to make the climb. It was unsettling in many ways, the idea that this pirate could be the chance at the first stable relationship she’d had in over a decade. She didn't have time to dwell on that and she shook the thought from her mind, focusing on the task at hand.
She nodded her understanding and turned the wheel slightly starboard into the magic. Killian had been right, it felt like they had been hit with something when the ship impacted with the magic. There was a loud popping sound, as if they’d pierced the outer shell of something, and the ship jutted forward aggressively. The wheel groaned as Emma maintained her grasp on it, the force of the gale winds making her break a sweat with the exertion required to keep a hold of it. Panic rose in her as she felt her hands slipping. Killian reached a hand around and wrapped it around one of hers on the wheel.
“Close your eyes,” he said.
His touch was warm and confident, but again there as a support, not trying to take over for her. She shut her eyes, trusting him.
“Feel the magic. It’s like the wind, it has a course it wants to take,” he whispered into her ear, his lips brushing her ear lobe.
She focused her attention on the sounds and feelings around her, heading Killian's words. In her lessons with Regina they'd been focusing on teaching Emma to be able to recognize the magic that always surrounded them, that was always within her; teaching her about how to tap into that power. This magic right now, on the boat, was a lot like that. But stronger. She could smell it, the power; it smelled like cedar wood chips and lavender. More powerfully, she could feel it, tingling along her skin, blazing a path of excitement and power. She suddenly got it, everything Regina had been trying to teach her - she felt connected to everything, she could feel everything. She also understood completely the allure of that power and why someone like Regina could follow it to the dark side.
"Can you feel it?" Emma asked, leaning back into Killian's body.
"Somewhat," he replied, moving closer into her touch. "I don't have the same access to magics that you do, I can only feel it because I've spent so long in this place. Tell me what it feels like," he said.
Emma paused, trying to find the right words. An idea came over her. She removed one hand off the wheel and placed it on top of his hand that still remained at her waist. She lifted his hand and pushed it under her shirt so his hand touched her bare flesh. She focused all of her attention on extending the connection she felt with the magic through her body; on pushing that tingling in her skin through to him.
It must have worked because she heard Killian suck in a breath after a few moments, his hand tightening on her waist.
"Wow, Swann. Wow." He said quietly.
Emma smiled, pleased it worked and pleased she could share this incredible feeling with him. She felt him move his hand lower, his fingers splaying across her stomach. The magic swirled and pooled where their skin made contact, the tingling she felt earlier taking on a heightened effect.
They were standing in full contact, him pressed right up against her back. He leaned his head down and placed a kiss on her collarbone, lips lingering. She forced herself to keep her hands on the wheel, fighting her instinct to let go. She wanted to touch him. Her hands squeezed the wooden handles instead, her mind telling her the magic was heightening everything. She'd wanted him since the moment she laid eyes on him - bad boys were always her crutch and an eyelined pirate with an accent and an attitude was crack for her.
She sighed, pushing back against him as he placed more kisses along her neck. She didn't notice when he'd removed his hand from the wheel, but now both of them were hot on her body. Vaguely she realized her parents and son could probably see what she was doing with Killian.
Suddenly the ship lurched, ripping Emma out of her magic-induced fantasy. Killian removed his hands and swore as he moved away from her, the magical connection snapping closed. Abruptly alert, she took in the situation around her. Barely any time could have passed as everyone was standing pretty much where they were the last time she looked.
The ship itself was practically in the air; ripping through the water at an incredibly speed.
"Emma! Take this ship down now!" she heard Mary Margaret order from the other end of the ship, attempting to wrangle in a sail.
Excitement coursed through her, as did the realization that she probably should follow her mother's instructions for once. She looked towards Killian who nodded back at her with a smile. Shutting her eyes, she once again focused on the magic around her, feeling her way through the magic for the edge of the cloud swirl. Finding it, she gripped her hands on the wheel and steered the ship towards the edge, confident in her path. Exiting the swirl was similar to how they entered; a loud pop and a jolt. Though when they entered, it was more of a jolt of energy, of speed. Exiting felt like stepping off that weird speed ramp they have at airports or getting off a trampoline: a very noticeable shift in momentum that throws off your equilibrium. It only lasted a moment before they settled out.
"Emma!" David yelled, his eyebrows creased. "What the devil was that?"
She grinned back, "just having a bit of fun dad".
"Well your bit of fun ruined dinner, it's a mess down there," Mary Margaret added.
She should feel guilty....but she didn't. It was worth the mess and everyone's irritation. Connecting to that energy, feeling that free. Priceless.
"It was awesome! Let's do it again!" Henry
"Emma!" David yelled, his eyebrows creased. "What the devil was that?"
She grinned back, "just having a bit of fun dad".
"Well your bit of fun ruined dinner, it's a mess down there," Mary Margaret added.
She should feel guilty....but she didn't. It was worth the mess and everyone's irritation. Connecting to that energy, feeling that free. Priceless.
"It was awesome! Let's do it again!" Henry hollered, bouncing around the deck.
"Ah see, the boy's got it right. Just a little bit of fun," Killian said, a large smirk on his face.
One of the benefits of having Henry back was that everyone had a hard time staying angry when he was involved; especially considering the ordeal he'd undergone. They were all pretty likely to acquiesce to anything that made him happy. Which is what happened here, the anger evaporating from Mary Margaret's face the moment she was presented with Henry’s glee.
"Well fine. You have to help me put everything back for dinner," she said.
"Fine," Henry said, shuffling down the stairs to help.
"You too Killian, don't pretend for a moment I don't know it was your idea in the first place," she ordered.
"Aye Captain," he said, raising his hand in salute.
The group headed down below for dinner leaving Emma and Killian alone on the deck.
"Well I see where you get your fire Swann," Killian said quietly to her. "And you know how much I like a fiery woman."
"You better be talking about me and not thinking about hitting on my mother," she teased, turning into his personal space. They were always flirty, but she felt bolder in this moment; the magic and adrenaline giving her a light buzz. She put her hands on his chest, her fingers gripping the warm, worn leather of his jacket. It was soft to the touch, much softer than it appeared, the decades of use wearing it down into a beloved fabric. She loved his coat; such a dramatic statement and she’d always had a flare for a damn fine leather jacket. She’d also indulged herself in a few fantasies involving creative uses for it.
"Hmm, of course," he replied, pressing up against her and sliding a hand across her hip.
"Good," she smiled.
Leaning in, she placed her lips against his and gave him a light kiss. He pushed back eagerly, but gently, a kiss of friendship and promise. But as with everything with them, their emotions quickly got the better of them and Emma pulled him into a deeper kiss, hands pushing under the leather searching for skin. She found it, running her fingertips under the top edge of his pants, earning her a groan from him.
“Swann,” he murmured, breaking the kiss to catch his breath, his lips refocusing on her neck. She tilted her head back to give better access. He pushed her back into the wheel, its design pressing not unpleasantly into her back. She moaned when the hand not wrapped in her hair easily undid the button and zip on her jeans and slipped inside the fabric. He seemed content just to tease her, not touching her more intimately, where she wanted.
Part of her brain knew she should slow down, anyone could see them, Henry could pop up back on deck and get an eyeful. But the larger part of her brain didn’t care and she leaned back on the wheel and lifted her thigh slightly to open her hips to him. It was wanton and unplanned, and suggestive - a crystal clear sign that their ‘casual flirting’ was more than that. But whatever. He felt good, she felt good. He hummed and pushed his hips into her body, accepting the invitation, and she could feel him hard against her thigh.
Lust pooled in her stomach, lighting her body on fire. He suckled a bit of skin at the collarbone into his mouth and bit down; not hard enough to hurt, but definitely enough to mark. Her hands quickly migrated from where they were underneath his shirts to the clasp of his pants; recklessness and desire winning out.
All she could hear was the blood rushing in her veins and their deep breathing, but somewhere through it all she managed to catch her mother’s voice calling for Killian. Reality instantly snapped back into her mind and she moved to step away from the pirate.
“My mother…..” she said, breathing heavily.
“Yes.” Killian hadn’t moved, his eyes bright with desire. He seemed to gain a bit more control over himself, “don’t want dear Snow White to find her daughter debauching a humble captain such as myself.”
She grinned in response.
“This isn’t over Swann,” he said quietly, the tone different than his previous teasing one.
“I’d be disappointed if it was,” she said honestly. He then gave her one of those smiles that she loves so much; the one meant for her, the honest one. They both readjusted their clothing, trying to cover up what almost would-certainly-have-happened happened.
“So,” she said, breaking the mood. “Ready for the most awkward dinner ever?” They usually ate in shifts, taking turns with the prep and manning the ship. They never just sat down for a meal as a group.
“What could possibly be awkward about a dinner with your parents, your son, the Evil Queen, and your baby daddy and his meglomaniacle father. Nice family you got there Swan”
"Ya ya. Then why you so eager to join it hmmm," she teased.