Humanoids.

[ottoiskoewl]

Title: Humanoids.
Pairing: Changmin/Yunho.
Genre: Angst, Fantasy-ish.
Rating: R.
Summary: Two universes, living on one earth. One is dark, the other is light. Both need to do the same to get perfection, but have different visions of perfections. When one travels through time, he will be send to the universe he comes from, but returns to the earth where the two universes collide. Is prefection something you can achieve? Can one state the definition of perfection?
A/N: You have to get through the beginning, that will take some time, but it will get better the further you get into the story. Sorry to Junsu-stans.


Yunho is walking on the streets, in the year of 3486. He doesn’t stick out to all the humans around him, apart from his height. Everyone wears silver and grey clothes, everyone has the same haircut and everyone does the same things. Yunho has been going through the information Yoochun had put in him for the first three days he existed, now he knows everything he is supposed to know. Everyone needs to be the same, like that life is stable and everyone has equal chances. You’re born, you grow up to get a job and a family and die, you’re put into the fire and off your ashes, people can build their gardens. Yoochun told him that he was too young to time travel yet, so he listened to his master. He was the only one who is right, after all. The streets are filled with an equal amount of people on both sides of the road, walking at the same time. Their shoes click on the white concrete, their clothes rustle because of the light breeze. It’s calming to see all these human beings together, so solid. In those three days, Yunho has also become immune to strong light, his eyes were made for this kind of light. He looks at the golden clock that his master had given him. It’s resting in his palm like it’s nothing, it doesn’t weigh anything and the value is still unproven. He sighs to himself, before putting the little thing away in his pocket.

Changmin is walking on the streets, in the year of 3486. He doesn’t stick out to all the humans around him, apart from his height. Everyone wears golden and white clothes, but everyone has other haircuts, varying from black to blue and everyone does other things. Changmin has been going through the information Jaejoong had put in him for the first three days he existed, now he knows everything he is supposed to know. Everyone needs to be different, like that life is stable and everyone has chances to what they’re good at, but it’s decided what you do from when you’re born. You’re born, you grow up to get a job and a maybe family and die, you’re put into the fire and off your ashes, people can build their gardens. Jaejoong told him that he was too young to time travel yet, so he listened to his master. He was the only one who is right, after all. The streets are filled with different people, with different ambitions on both sides of the road, walking wherever they want to. Their shoes click on the black concrete, their clothes rustle because of the hard breeze. It’s calming to see all these human beings together, so different. In those three days, Changmin has also become immune to darkness, his eyes were made for this kind of circumstances. He looks at the golden clock that his master had given him. It’s resting in his palm like it’s nothing, it doesn’t weigh anything and the value is still unproven. He sighs to himself, before putting the little thing away in his pocket.

The first time Yunho time travels, it feels weird and exciting, something he isn’t supposed to feel. He isn’t supposed to feel anything but solidarity. He lands in the year of 2943 where his master had told him to go. He needed to fix something in the past, that would be better for the future. He had put the clock in his hands and connecting it to his thoughts, he had travelled to this year. His silver coat had changed for the clothes of that time, only to fit in. It feels weird and he wants to get his own clothes back, because now he is different than the humans in his usual environment. Here, there isn’t too much light, it is a little darker than where he lives. The humans are organized, but different. There isn’t any logic in their way of walking or being. Without thinking about itanymore, he walks through the crowd, trying to find the rhythm they walk in, but failing to find any. So he sticks to walking how he wants, which is rare.  After walking around for a while, he finds the building that he needs. Without showing any information about himself, he can just enter the building. The building doesn’t look like those in the future. The room is furnished with all kinds of furniture, from different styles and different ages. With a fast elevator he goes all the way to the top of the building, where a man looks up at him from his papers. “Yes?” He studies Yunho from his place behind the desk, looking from the dark blue jacket and black pants, to his neatly styled mop of brown hair. “Do I know you?” Yunho sits down on the leather chair in front of the desk. “No, but I know you. And you are going to be trouble for the formation of the future.” The man raises his eyebrows, laughs and frowns when he sees that Yunho stays serious. “What?” “You’re going to be in the way of my master.” Without further ado, he raises the gun and shoots. The man’s head falls onto the desk, blood flowing out of the wound in his head. Yunho takes out the clock and goes back to his own time.

The first time Changmin time travels, it feels weird and exciting, something he is finally able to feel. This is what the humans of his time seek to feel. He lands in the year of 2943 where his master had told him to go. He needed to fix something in the past, that would be better for the future. He had put the clock in his hands and connecting it to his thoughts, he had travelled to this year. His golden coat had changed for the clothes of that time, only to fit in. It feels weird and he wants to get his own clothes back, because now he dresses differently from the humans in his usual environment. Here, there is enough light, it is a little too light for his liking. The humans are organized and different. There is some sense of logic in their way of walking and being. Without thinking about it anymore, he walks through the crowd, trying to get through without causing any difficulties for others. He sticks to walking how he wants, slightly pushing his way through.  After walking around for a while, he finds the building that he needs. Without showing any information about himself, he can just enter the building. The building doesn’t look like those in the future. The room is furnished with all kinds of furniture, from different styles and different ages. With a fast elevator he goes all the way to the top of the building, where a man looks up at him from his papers. “Yes?” He studies Changmin from his place behind the desk, looking from the yellow jacket and black pants, to his neatly styled mop of brown hair. “Do I know you?” Changmin sits down on the leather chair in front of the desk. “No, but I know you. And you are going to be trouble for the formation of the future.” The man raises his eyebrows, laughs and frowns when he sees that Changmin stays serious. “You’re serious aren’t you?” “You’re going to be in the way of my master.” Without further ado, he raises the gun and shoots. The man’s head falls onto the desk, blood flowing out of the wound in his head. Changmin takes out the clock and goes back to his own time.

Was this really how life should go? Yunho wondered. He wasn’t supposed to be feeling this emotions. Every time he had to assassinate someone, he felt alive, excited, immortal. But he wasn’t supposed to. Yoochun had told him so many times. Everyone was equal, everyone was the same, everyone felt the same. Humanoids are especially emotionless, he’s a bot. He knew this and was well aware of those facts, but once he went to another time, free from the way his life must go, he wanted to stay there. The future was too perfect, too well built. It was like people used to call Heaven, a place where everyone is happy, because everyone is treated the same.

Was this really how life should go? Changmin wondered. He wasn’t supposed to be feeling other emotions than Jaejoong said he should have. He was born to do certain things, he shouldn’t deviate from that. Every time he had to assassinate someone, a part of him broke, he didn’t want to do this because he should. Everyone had something they were supposed to do, everyone was different but at the same time exactly the same. Humanoids were especially just for the use of the master, doing whatever he wanted with one snap of his fingers. He knew this and was well aware of those facts, but once he went to another time, more free than in his own time, he wanted to stay there, there was no one there to tell him what he should and shouldn’t do. The future was too perfect, too well built. It was like people used to call Heaven, a place where everyone is treated the same, everyone is happy.

Yunho stands in front of the mirror in his room, looking at his own reflection. It’s a wonder they still have mirrors, everyone looks the same anyways. He licks his dry lips, ruffling his hair at the same time. The atmosphere in the future is oppressive. Yoochun had given him another task at breakfast, but he doesn’t feel like going today. It bothers him that no one gives him answers to his question, they only say; “That’s how it’s supposed to be.” And then leave him alone, hastily walking far away from him like he had said the impossible. All the things that happen are covered in one lie, that’s how much he has figured out until now. The only thing he has to do is get to know the truth, get to know why everyone behaves like this and why Yoochun wants them to. But words are different from deeds. And as long as he is watched like one of those animals in the laboratory cages, he can’t do anything. Unless, he is in another time, but even then. Yoochun can always see where he is, when he is. Yunho flops down on his bed ungracefully, hoping that Yoochun is watching him right at this very moment. What he is doing goes straight against all the rules, he feels rebellious, even though what he does is nothing compared to what he wants to do. It’s one step closer to it. He closes his eyes. With his hand, he takes out the clock, feeling the golden things in his palm. It has become heavier, he realizes. Flipping it over a few times.

Changmin has just returned from Jaejoong, getting some things fixed and being handed a new task. He doesn’t feel like doing it today. He doesn’t want to be a killer, he doesn’t want to do whatever Jaejoong says. He knows he is watching him all day, he can feel those pitch black eyes on him wherever he goes. He sits down on the bed, holding himself up with his hands. The satin of the sheets feels soft under his hands, it feels comforting. He wonders how it feels like to sleep. Someone had told him about his dream, that he fell asleep at work, waking up because he felt like he was falling. He actually believed he did fall. Changmin had assured him it was something made by the brain, causing the man to get angry at him. Humans are scared of the truth, he had noted, after haven spoken to a quite large amount of them. They are scared of things they don’t know, because they’re scared it will change everything. He wants to know why. Why Jaejoong has forced them to be how they are now, but no one is  able to give him the answer. He slowly lets himself fall down onto the bed, feeling his head hit the soft fabric. It’s amazing how lifelike, how humanlike he is. But he isn’t one of them. He turns onto his side, facing the wall that is covered in blueprints. Those blueprints have been given to him to know what to do when there is something wrong with him, every detail about resetting and all such things are written on there, with tiny white letters. Changmin takes the little golden clock out of his pocket, feeling that the thing has become heavier.

A man had hold him up on the streets, completely disturbing the others straight walking. The little man had looked up at him, staring into his eyes, his own eyes full of knowing. Yunho had been neatly guided to an alley, where the man stopped. His hair was as silver as their coats, his eyes red because of lack of sleep and his face full of wrinkles. He eyed as a nice, little old man, just taking some fresh air. But that image was destroyed when he urged Yunho to bow over, so he could whisper in his ear. “You’re one of his, aren’t you? You’re the one to make everything better and destroy everything in your master's way. I know it, you don’t have to say it. But what you see is not right, please, take a look at the dark side. On the east of the city there is an invisible border to the dark side. You are the only one who can help us.” The man had taken a glimpse around the alley, where no one was of course and quickly stepped around Yunho, making his way over to the other humans. Yoochun had forbidden him to go near the dark side, it was too dangerous. But Yunho is immortal, humans are nothing compared to him. There was nothing dangerous about going to a place full of humans that wouldn’t even be a thread to him. Without standing out too much, he got to the end of the Headroad, the road that led to the north of the city. From there, he would have to travel through deserted places. The guards didn’t even see him get off the road. They would never expect someone to break through the string of actions that everyone always does. The place he walks through is indeed deserted, the whole environment is white, wind blowing away the sand that has collected on the dry earth. The farther he travels, the more excited he feels. Finally, he is able to breath as he wishes. Sometimes it feels like Yoochun even controls that. The man didn’t say how far the border between light and dark would be, nor did he say where in the east it is. So, Yunho uses his brain to scan through the map, there is a large circle around the city, marking the place that is never crossed by anyone as far as Yunho knows. After walking for some time, he notes a dark shine at the horizon, stretching as far as his eyes can see. He starts running towards that point, the dark spot growing wider. He stops when the only thing he sees in front of him is darkness, behind an obvious line of two meters wide. A few houses are just barely seeable, the only thing that lets him know there is something, is that it’s on fire, flames licking their way up the contours of  the house, smoke raising into the darkness, dissolving into nothing. Yunho can’t progress what he is seeing, it’s too different from his own idea of living. Stunned, he sits down on the hard, parched earth, sand whirling up, falling into his hair.

The place Changmin walks through is much like the whole city, some houses randomly placed in the middle of nowhere, most of the time covered in flames, but not burning down the house. Wind is rushing through his golden coat, the fabric ticking against the back of his knees. He had decided to go here, because he wanted answers. He was sure that the light would give them. They were, from what he had heard, a very neat existence, always nice and caring. The dark hated them, better said; detested them. No one knew exactly how the light was, none of them had ever been there before, but they already hated those tiny things they knew. When Changmin asked if they had ever thought about going there, they thought he was crazy for wanting that. Isn’t their life good as it is? Again, they are too scared to face the truth, they live on lies and are happy with that. It forms a fundament where they can build on, not having to care about who and what formed that fundament in the first place.  The guards were playing ‘who-can-jump-off-the-bridge-without-dying’ when Changmin went by them, so they didn’t even notice that he was there. On his way, he had seen some kids, playing with fire, in the literal sense of the word. He had never understood them. Now he is slowly starting to get tired of walking, he thought the light would be within his reach, but his clock said he had been walking for three hours. Maybe it had been a good idea to know where exactly the border was located, before rushing off. Just when he thinks that, a light shines at the horizon, like the sun finally rises after a long night. But the light isn’t orange and red as in the descriptions that he has read, it’s white, with a silver sheen to it. It feels like Heaven has opened her doors for him, the light radiates all the way to where he is standing. It’s not as bright where he is now, but it’s less dark than in the center of the city, where the only light comes from almost burned down candles and flames. Almost too amazed by the beauty of light, he half stumbles half walks to the source of the light. Even though he is created to be a creature with no flaws at all, at this moment he feels vulnerable, a small being amongst the great. He even trips over his own feet, falling face-first into the dark earth. Not wasting any time, he wipes the dirt off of his coat and ruffles it out of his hair. The energy to run suddenly kicks in. He only stops running when the whole sight in front of him is light. When he gazes around, he notes a figure sitting on the other side, looking up at him in disbelieve. Before giving too much attention to the man on the ground, he takes up all the things he sees. A long white field stretching out in front of him, no humans or buildings in sight whatsoever. “Hello.” He says finally, waving at the man sitting on the other side, whom is still gaping at him. He too, sits down on the cold earth, the contrast between light and dark is big. The dark, a little humid earth next to the white, parched earth behind the border. The man waves back at him. “Hello.”

They sit in silence for a while, both too busy taking in all the different features at the others side to look at each other. Yunho is the first to rip his eyes away from the darkness, instead focusing on the man in front of him. The man is tall, probably just as tall as him. He has a brown mop of hair, looking like birds’ nest. His lips are full and plump, his eyes almost pitch black. The clothing he is wearing seems the same as his own, but the colour is gold. Then it dawns to him. Changmin returns the stranger’s stare, taking in the other’s appearance as well. The man in the light has brown hair just like him, styled neatly into some kind of a curl, his clothing is silver and his face looks solid and sated. He realizes something, but before he gets to say it, he snaps his mouth shut. “Why would they not make it soundproof?” Yunho asks, touching the invisible wall that’s keeping him away from the darkness. “The leader sometimes goes to the east to have a conversation, or better exchange of clear disagreements about life with the other leader.” Changmin answers, touching the other side of the wall, his hand and the stranger’s hand touching, despite the wall between them. “What’s your name?” Changmin asks, sitting in a more comfortable position, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. “Yunho.” The man in the silver coat says, asking the same question without saying it out loud. “Changmin.” They pursue sitting in silence, neither of them feeling like talking. It’s strange how both cities are so different, and just that border is keeping the differences from melting into each other. Changmin is the first to stand up, the dark earth falling from his clothes as he does so. The little gold clock falls onto the ground. Changmin immediately picks it up and puts it back into his pocket, running away from Yunho, hoping that he hadn’t seen anything.

The golden thing that fell on the ground looked familiar to Yunho. And after sitting still for a few minutes, he realized it was just like his clock. Maybe he actually was who Yunho had thought he was after examining him for a while, he was the same as him. But Yunho doesn’t want to jump to any conclusions too quickly, and certainly not when the chance of seeing him again is minimum. He stands up, does his task within two minutes and returns on the place where he normally disappears, a little behind his master’s house. He is really thankful towards the old man that he had seen on the streets, thanks to him he was able to see what he had been looking for without knowing that that was it. He wants to thank the man, so he searches in the civilian list in his brain for the old man, recognizing him as Lee Soo Man. But under his name is a little note attached, “destroyed”.  “Yoochun?” He asks during dinner, as he’s sitting on the opposite side of the table, mimicking ‘eating’ just like the human, but not tasting anything. Yoochun mumbles something while stuffing his mouth full of pork. Yunho doesn’t have a taste pallet, nor does he have any organs. Many times he has wondered how it would be like to really be a human, oblivious to anything and real. He isn’t real. “I met a man Lee Soo Man yesterday, he gave me some money to pay for the reparation of my coat, I’d like to know how I can contact him.” He says it casually, in between cutting his food, just like Yoochun always does. “I don’t think you can speak to him.” Yoochun drinks his wine all at once and stares at Yunho from across the table. “There isn’t anyone named Lee Soo Man living here, or anywhere at all.” “I must’ve been mistaken then.” Yunho smiles to his master and notices the small smirk playing around his corners. The sign that he is tricked into thinking that Yunho speaks the truth. It’s a wonderful thing how humans are so easily tricked, how they cannot tell the difference between truth and lies. Later that evening, when Yoochun has invited some servant over at the table, babbling with them loudly, Yunho checks his civilian list. Lee Soo Man’s file is deleted.

“I’ve seen the light.” Changmin announces to his master. “Sounds like you’ve finally chosen your religion, what is it?” Jaejoong says mockingly. He never takes anything seriously. Changmin is lucky he can control his Humanoid self enough to not mimic Jaejoong’s personality. “I mean I’ve literally seen the light, our neighbors.” “So what? Many of us sometimes see the light, you’re not a special snowflake now.” Changmin watches his master consume his meal in silence, wondering about his tasks.

Changmin sits in his room once again, thinking about everything he has learned. Many of those things have led him to an answer, until now. The thing that bothers him the most is ‘time’. It’s a concept that humans created to indicate a series of actions. If it’s created by humans, how does he ever travel into time, when there is for him nothing to travel into, because time isn’t one of the concepts that he can follow. He takes out the little clock, turning the thing around in his palm. The thing doesn’t give time in hours, it gives time in years, so a year is a generic term for time in a certain period. He suddenly feels the urge to throw the clock away, break it, destroy time. He doesn’t, he just puts the golden thing away and rests his head in his hands.

Yunho notices the man sitting at the border a week after they’ve first seen each other. He sits with his legs crossed over each other, leaning on his elbows, gazing into space. Yunho walks up to the invisible wall and sits down in front of the man. “What time is it?” He asks, trying to ask it in a certain way so Changmin knows what he’s pointing at. “I don’t know.” Changmin answers, his eyes narrowing instinctively, like Jaejoong does when he doesn’t trust someone. “I saw you dropped a little clock the last time we met, did you forget it at home?” Changmin nods, pulling his legs up to his chest. Yunho does the same, but he doesn’t know if it’s because he always mimics humans or because he wants to be that man. “I have the same one.” Yunho says after hesitating for a while, he takes out the golden clock, which is exactly the same as Changmin’s. Changmin gapes at him, reaching out to take the clock in his hands, but stopped by the border between them. He kicks the thing angrily, irritated and annoyed, because that simple thing is the only thing keeping him from living in the light. “I know we’re the same.” Changmin says, still eyeing the clock in the other man’s big hand. “A Humanoid.” He states, fathoming Yunho’s facial expressions when he says that. Yunho seems the least bit surprised, he puts away the clock and looks back at him. “We both travel through time.” Yunho says.

“No.”

“What?”

“Time is a concept created by humans, only to declare when a happening has found place. But it’s made by looking at the sun, look around you.” Yunho looks up at the sky, only seeing the normal white shining light like he’s used to. He licks his lips, trying to figure out what Changmin wants him to see.

“We don’t have a sun. We don’t have any surrounding planets. What is time for us? We just travel through spaces, but not through time.” He rests his head in his hand again, looking at Yunho, who is dumbly staring at the air.

“So what does that mean, travelling into space?”

“I’ve just seen your clock, right?” Yunho nods. “The year was set on the year 2012, when did you go there?” “This morning.” “Exactly, me too, but I’ve never seen you. We live on an earth, but we go to another earth, otherwise we would’ve met tons of times before. There are different dimensions, I even believe there are different universes. But the actual humans, whom live on the earth we go to, don’t know about us. Nor do the humans here. We don’t exist for them.” Yunho nods sheepishly, this man has figured it out really fast, he must’ve had a lot of time on hands. “Two universes, living on one earth. So there are two universes in the past with two different earths?” Yunho asks, which Changmin confirms with a slight nod. “How are we together?” “I don’t know, just like the question, where have the sun and all the planets gone? I don’t know. I can’t seem to figure it out.” Yunho lets his head fall on his knees, blocking away the light so he can think better. “That’s, incredible.” “Says a thing created by humans to be like a human, but who isn’t a human.” Yunho shakes his head.

They meet up at the border again exactly one week after that meeting. They sit opposite of each other, one wrapping his coat a little tighter around himself, the other shrugging the coat of slightly. “How it the light?” Changmin starts the conversation, tugging on the collar of his golden coat. “It’s okay, I guess, but I’d rather live in the dark.” With his foot, Yunho kicks at the white earth under him, sand whirling up and falling down. “The dark is okay too, but I’d love to switch with you.” “You wouldn’t.” “You wouldn’t either.” They stare at each other again, it has become a ritual between them, talking and staring.

“Humans don’t know about us, right?” “No, they don’t. Our masters are keeping us a secret.”

“I wonder why.” Yunho says to himself, ruffling his now slightly red hair.

“You don’t know a lot do you? They keep us a secret, because they don’t want the humans to know what we do to make their future perfect and flawless, they’re oblivious for everything except for what the leaders tell them. They’re told what is good and bad, what they’re supposed to do, what their goal is in life. It forms a simple structure for them and it gives them security. Humans are scared of differences and changes, they fear what’s inside of them, so adapt to what’s outside of them.” Changmin is a really smart kid, that’s what Yunho has discovered during the two times they’ve met. He could’ve been a better leader than anyone has ever been. “And you know what? The future might seem so different from the past, but it really is the same. In the past everyone adapted to what others did, scared to fall out of the crowd, that’s the humans’ instinct. They had people telling them what was good and bad, if they didn’t listen to that, they were left out and died lonely. Our leaders have formed the perfect environment for them to live without anything like that happening.” “It’s not perfect.” “It isn’t.” Yunho stands up, whisking the ‘dirt’ from his silver coat. Upright, he forms a shield for the light, so that Changmin is in the shadows once again, seeing the contours of Yunho’s face clearer than when he is surrounded by light. Every little detail of his face, all the flaws and furrows in his face are shown by the shadows under them. And something inside of Changmin feels weird, seeing how this man looks at the moment.

“What is perfection?” Yunho asks Changmin the next time they meet. As much as he expects a direct answer, he doesn’t get one. Changmin purses his lips, narrows his eyes, takes his hand through his hair, but doesn’t answer. “What is perfection?” He asks back, looking directly at him, with something like sadness in his eyes. “I don’t know.” Yunho admits, shrugging slightly. The light reflects off of his coat as he does so, the light shining into Changmin’s eyes, making him close them. Yunho looks at Changmin, the bird’s nest of hair, the thick lips, the pitch black eyes, the tanned skin. Something inside of him feels weird, seeing how this man looks at the moment.

“I have the answer to your question.” Changmin announces, as he rushes to the border and flops down on his ass, looking extremely excited. “Well, partly.” Yunho smiles up at him, he’s waited all week to hear the man speak again, because his voice sounds magical and professional. “The answer is; I don’t know.” He looks at Yunho, whom raises his eyebrows. “Didn’t we already say that.” “Exactly, the point is. Neither of us knows what perfection is. But our masters do. Didn’t I say that they’ve created us to make the future of the humans perfect? They have a definition of perfect, while we don’t.” He rubs his hands together like a person about to tell a strong story to someone. “My master thinks that difference is perfection. By making everyone look different and do different things and have different feelings, he thinks it’s perfection. But because everyone is different, everyone is the same. So his future can’t be perfect. Can you keep up?” Yunho shakes his head. “From the moment a human is born in at our side, it’s decided what that new human will do with his life and how he’ll be. If that is done for every human, everyone is the same. He will never be able to reach his own definition of perfection that way. I’m created, just like you, to eliminate every person that might have been a thread to our community how it is now. But, there’s once again a but, that earth is much more different from ours, we don’t travel in the past of our own earth, we travel to another earth in another universe. Because time doesn’t exist in any way.”

“But how do we travel then, if we travel to another universe without time, what do we do?”

“I don’t know. The only explanation I can think of is the simplest; we don’t exist.”

“ What do you mean?”

“There is supposed to be one universe, with one earth. But somehow there are now two universes, which is impossible, especially since we live on the same earth. So the only explanation is that we don’t exist at all, that everything happening now is an illusion.”

“How do we verify that? Which of us is making up this illusion?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either.”

They don’t meet the week after that, both are too busy fulfilling all their masters task, which they get much more of. One person after another is eliminated, slowly slinking down the population of the other earth and her universe. Yunho spends a lot of time, if he has time because he’s still confused about that matter, thinking about perfection. How can one state perfection and live like that is the ultimate definition of perfection? He understands that others follow suit, because they are scared of falling out of the boat, but why doesn’t anyone state their perfection? When Yunho started to think about ‘perfection’, he thought about the earth, how he’s seen it the times he had travelled through space and universes. The humans there seemed so happy. Everyone led another life, all lived the life they chose for themselves, no one had told them to be like that. They just did, because they could. And that seemed perfect to him, living life like he wanted to. Never having to worry about behaving just like the others, only in big lines, not in extreme details. But his masters definition of perfect was definitely a lot more different.

“What is perfection?” Changmin asked him when he sat down across from him, sitting up straight in order to follow his master’s perfection. “My master’s form of perfection is solidarity and organization. All strings neatly next to each other, none of them are broken, like that he can play with his puppets freely, without messing up the strings. Humans on my side are all the same, exactly, in everything they do. Because all of them feel and live the same, no one knows how to be different. No one has ever experienced the same as me. I’ve felt abnormal sometimes, feeling excitement and fear, I thought I was being wrong, but I’m not. In comparison to my definition of perfect, that I’ve come  to realize is a lot easier to achieve than my master’s, which is the situation on the earth with one universe. Everyone lives like he wants to, no one to tell them what’s good and bad. Isn’t that perfect.”

“It’s light there, but not as light as on your side.”

“It’s different there, but it’s not different because they’re told to be.”

“It’s perfection.”

“To us.”

They remain silent after that, feeling as if they’re finally understood. Both have the same definition of perfection, both of them want to break their master’s rules.

“We don’t exist, right?” Yunho asks, looking at Changmin through the wall, feeling further away from him than ever.

“No, and that’s good how it is, because it would be bad if this was all real.” Changmin says, wanting to close the distance that their masters’ had put between them.

Changmin wonders how it is like to live an organized life. If everyone is the same. In the dark, he’s never experienced anything considered ‘normal’, if there is a definition for that word too. When Yunho had said for both of them what their definition of perfection is, he felt like the light isn’t good enough either. The point is that both universes are the complete opposites of each other, so he would never be able to adapt as much as needed to fit in. The light is too organized, too neat, too strict. While the dark is too different, too much chaos, too fuck-it-all-ish. Neither of the universes sound very appealing. But earth is another story, there it’s in between. It’s like the world between the border. Those two meters separating their universes is where earth was, in between. Perfection is balance, a balanced life with both good and bad.

“Tell me, do we also mimic our master’s emotions?” Yunho asks, getting straight to the point. Changmin sits down first, spreading his coat over the ground behind him, then looking up at Yunho. “I’ve never felt the same as my master. I’ve never felt the same as the people around me, we’re supposed to be different.” Yunho shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant.” “Then what do you mean?” Yunho leans closer to the border, like he wants to tell a secret no one is supposed to hear. So Changmin leans closer to the border too, looking straight into Yunho’s brown eyes. “Can we feel the same as them. I know that everyone feels different or the same. But I’m not talking about that exact moment. Do we mimic any emotion humans feel?” For a moment, Changmin doesn’t know how to answer, to mesmerized by the way Yunho’s eyes twinkle when he asks it. When he comes back to his senses, Yunho has leaned back a bit, expectantly sitting there, watching him. “Yes. We feel all the emotions human are capable of feeling. Why?” “We can’t identify them. Those emotions we feel.” Changmin shakes his head, trying to let his hair fall over his eyes. He suddenly feels embarrassed. “We are the most intelligent creatures alive and we can’t even identify emotions?” Yunho sneers. “It would be dangerous if we started to feel things.” “But they want to recreate a human, a human isn’t a human without emotions.” Yunho stands up from his place, “See you next week.”

When Yunho walks away, Changmin feels like he has done something wrong. The pace Yunho walks with only makes that feeling worse. He stays there at the border, staring at the figure that is slowly engulfed by the light, until there is only a strong white sheen left. At home, he thinks that it’s all his fault, that maybe next week, Yunho won’t be at the border. It was the truth that he had told, but lies are better at some times. “Master?” Jaejoong stands bent over a new project, not sparing him a single glance as he walks into his master’s workspace. “Yes, Changmin?” “Can I feel? Emotions and such?” Jaejoong laughs, finally looking up from his project and taking off his golden gloves. He pushes the plastic and metal glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “There would be something wrong if you didn’t, you’re just like a human, you’re supposed to feel emotions.” The man smiles at him, and in comparison to his usual smiles, this one is genuine. “Why? Found yourself a girl?” Changmin shakes his head. “I was just wondering.” Jaejoong walks up to him to pat him on the shoulder, leaning to whisper in his ear. “It’s okay, go have some fun with her.” His master pulls him a little closer to his side and then lets go, focusing on his project again. Changmin is a little frozen in his spot, knowing that his master is a human and can recognize emotions off of someone’s face. That means that he must be in love with someone, but Changmin doesn’t talk to anyone but his master, his master’s targets and Yunho.

Changmin is the first to arrive at the border, which is rare. He makes himself comfortable on the humid earth, stretching out both of his legs and resting on the palms of his hands. He rotates his neck, feeling the hinges squeak in protest. The light looks peaceful as always, there is a couple walking on a little sand way close to the houses, they’re barely visible, but there is a smile plastered on their faces, and their hands are interlaced. Changmin also smiles, it’s the first time he sees others from the light. He takes out his clock, turns it around in his hand and puts it away again. Then he sees another figure appearing at the horizon, coming up to him in full speed. Totally exhausted, he flops down onto the ground. “I missed my check-up yesterday, so I think Yoochun needs to fix something.” He explains, sitting on his legs and wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his coat. “Jaejoong said we can feel emotions, he even thought I am in love with someone.” Yunho’s face twitches slightly, but he hides it behind his arm. “Really? With who?” Changmin shrugs. “I never talk to anyone but Jaejoong, who I absolutely can’t love, he’s like my father and you.” A small smirk now tugs on Yunho’s lips, he quickly wipes it away. “Yoochun though so too.” Changmin nods, closing his eyes for the light, white soaking past his eyelids into his eyes. “But it’s the same for me, I talk to him and you. No one else.” “Do you think we love each other?” Changmin suggests, opening his eyes again. “Could be.” They fall into silence once again, neither of them knowing what to say next to keep the conversation going. Both seem to think about what they’ve just said, it doesn’t seem wrong, them loving each other. But how can it be possible, that two immortal creatures created for killing, have found love in each other, while they were never destined to meet. “So… We love each other.” “I guess.”

The next week, Changmin is the one to be late again, so Yunho is waiting at the border for him to come. Feeling quite anxious, because it’s taking him longer than normally. Does he hate him now? He shifts uncomfortably over the ground, playing with the edge of his coat while staring into the dark side, trying to find the figure he’s looking for. Finally Changmin appears, running up to him a little unsteadily. “Hey.” He says, not sitting down. Quite the contrary, he walks further up to Yunho. The border doesn’t stop him, he walks straight through it, until he’s standing right in front of a stunned Yunho. He scrambles to his feet. “What?” “I de-activated the border when Jaejoong was drunk.” “Isn’t that dangerous?” “No, no one ever wants to cross the border, they think the other side is evil.” Yunho stares into Changmin’s eyes, he sees victory. “But why did you do it?” “Well, we both didn’t know if we loved each other. I asked Jaejoong how I could find out I really love someone. He said I had to kiss ‘her’.” Yunho takes a step back. “But, but- That’s-.” He doesn’t really know what he’s trying to say. It sounds interesting, as far as the information about kissing in his head has told him. But the information also says that it’s between a man and a woman, not between two of the same gender. “I know what you’re thinking, that this isn’t right. But we’ll never find out what love is otherwise. For science?” Changmin asks, taking yet another step closer to Yunho, who hesitates. “For science.” He finally agrees. Leaning over to Changmin to catch his lips. All the while during the kiss, he can’t stop thinking. So this is what humans call kissing? It feels kind of weird, but nice at the same time and a nice warm feeling fills him. Is the oil stock inside of him leaking? Changmin is the first to move then, licking Yunho’s lips. Yunho opens his mouth up, letting himself be guided by the younger man. After a while, he thinks he is used to it and slides his arms around Changmin’s waist, his train of thoughts completely stops. “I think I do love you.” Yunho says after they’ve broken apart, staring into each other’s eyes. “I think I love you too.” They both smile.

“What was that!?” Jaejoong yells at Changmin that evening, slamming the tabletop with his hand as he does so. “You de-activated the border!? Do you have any idea what could’ve happened!?” “I’m well aware of anything that could’ve happened, but such things will never happen. The humans are too afraid to let go of their normal environment to trade it with something new.” Jaejoong is breathing heavily, his eyes even darker than normally. “I can de- activate you too, you know?” Changmin nods, his face is straight and he doesn’t let any emotions break out on his face. “We have a security camera set up on the border, I’m going to watch them. If you’ve done anything that isn’t acceptable, I’m going to de- activate you, reset your mind, re- use your body for another humanoid. Understood?” Changmin nods again, fear starting to rise up into his body. Jaejoong walks off to his workspace, leaving Changmin alone. He is locked inside. Even though he knows he is strong enough to break all the doors open, he sits still and waits. It had never been a good idea, anyways. He should’ve never done all these things. It’s good that it’ll soon be over and there would nothing to worry about anymore. If his mind is reset, he won’t have any feelings left for Yunho and Yunho can also live safely. He waits in the dark room, here it is even darker than elsewhere. There are no candles at all and every piece of furniture is black. After standing in the middle of the room for a while, the doors slam open again to reveal a very angry Jaejoong. His hair is even more messed up than usual and his face is red. “I don’t mind you needing someone in your life, but it had to be a person from the light!?” Changmin understands from his words that Jaejoong doesn’t know that ‘person’ is a Humanoid, which reassures him a bit. Jaejoong walks up to him, standing right under his nose. The anger is sensible now, but Changmin doesn’t cringe under Jaejoong’s heavy stare. “You kissed a person from the light!? You de-actived the border for a person from the light!? You put our whole existence at risk for a person from the light!?” He is so angry that he chokes out every word, spitting into Changmin’s face. “You will have one last day tomorrow, before I reset your mind. That day you can consider everything you’ve done very carefully and I’ll take away your clock.” Jaejoong picks away the clock from the pocket in Changmin’s coat and stomps away, throwing the door in closed behind him. So Changmin is left behind once again, his face finally falling. It’s a good thing, he tells himself. But he’s hurting, he’s hurting to know that he isn’t going to see Yunho ever again, or at least not with the mind he has now. He slides down against the dark humid walls, onto the dark metal floor. He takes a moment to rethink every conversation with Yunho, takes a moment to remember their kiss, how right it had felt. And suddenly, he remembers. He remembers telling Yunho about their travelling, that they travel through space and not through time. Which means he doesn’t even need a clock to travel and he certainly doesn’t have to go back into space. He feels like a genius.

It takes him the whole night to think of how he normally travelled, with the clock he knew what he had to do, but without it he didn’t really know what he was supposed to do. He tried closing his hand into a fist and thinking about where he wanted to go. But he didn’t even know where he wanted to go. He had never been in the light except for that one meter. He had no idea how buildings looked, how the inner city looked. He also tried breaking the walls and door, trying to escape that way. But of course Jaejoong had been smart enough not to put the strongest and most intelligent creature in a cell with breakable doors and walls. So he paced around, searching through the information in his brain for anything that could help. He realized that Jaejoong had also disabled tons of information, mostly information about the building he is in right now. He finds some information about hacking, tracking the system for anything useful. It takes him less than a minute to hack Jaejoong’s system and get back all of his information and more than that. It takes him another minute to find what he’s looking for. Far away from the rest of the information, he finds a little map called ‘light’. In it is all the information Jaejoong has collected from the light. How Yoochun is the leader of the light, how he rules his piece of land. Some pictures are put away. One of them has the description; government. Changmin takes that as his destination, deleting the search history of Jaejoong’s system and coming back to his senses. Once again, he closes his eyes and thinks, this time of the building made out of white bricks, surrounded by white flowers and short cut grass.

The building is much bigger than he had expected, and the travelling was much easier than he had expected. Around him are only people in silver coats, all the same like Yunho, with the same haircut. Changmin knows that Yunho has told him about everyone looking the same, but that it was this bad he could’ve never imagined. All the people are walking in a straight line, only walking differently where they have to walk around Changmin, they shoot him some confused glances and look at his golden coat, which forms a sharp contrast to the others. Changmin runs through the mass of people onto the white pavement leading to the government building. The guards at the doors stop him with their laser swords, telling him he can’t pass. Changmin easily knocks them out, straightening the crumples in his coat before entering the building. The inside is as light as the outside, but here it is light up by the large windows and lamps that emit artificial light. He runs through the long hallway, leaving dark dirt on the silver carpet. Every guard he sees is easily knocked out, except for one, which he doesn’t want to knock out anyways. “Where can I find Yunho?” He asks, raising the little man up on his collar, looking him dead in the eye as if this is all his fault. “I-I don’t know who that is.” The man says, raising up his hands and almost crying. “Then where is Yoochun?” “I-I c-can’t tell y-you that.” The man trips over his own words, tears dripping down his face. “I can kill with one turn of my hand.” “He’s on the top floor!” The man screams, closing his eyes. Changmin drops him onto the floor and runs to the right, where the elevators are located. He presses the button all the way until the elevator doors open for him. He walks inside, throwing a servant out of it and presses the button to the top floor.

The elevator is luckily really fast, zooming to the top floor with full speed. There sounds a bell through the elevator, meaning the doors are going to open. He is greeted by the sight of a man calmly reading a book, ironically enough with a black cover. “What can I do f-“ He trails off when he looks up at Changmin, his jaw dropping at the sight of his golden clothing. “I need to speak to Yunho.” “Does your leader know you’re here?” Changmin shakes his head. He’s calmed down a bit, seeing that the man isn’t scared for his life. “Wait, how do you know about Yunho?” “That doesn’t matter right now, but I need to speak to him urgently.” Yoochun nods. “Of course, of course.” He presses a button on his desk and puts down the book. “You’ll have to wait here, he’ll be here after a few minutes.” He pats a chair next to him. Changmin shakes his head, staying exactly where he is. He had imagined Yoochun to look different, more like an old man, with an evil side visible on his face. But Yoochun has a chic haircut, a fresh face and smiling eyes. “I don’t know how you’ve come here, but I’m sure you have your reason, seeing as your leader doesn’t even know you’re here.” He smiles again, showing off perfectly white teeth. “There he is.” The elevator doors open and Changmin looks over his shoulder to see Yunho. “What are you doing here?” Yunho asks surprised, carefully looking at Changmin from head to toe, making sure it really is him. “Can I talk to you somewhere more privately?” He asks, nodding to the man sitting behind them slightly. “Of course. Yoochun, I’ll be right back.” Without waiting for an answer, he urges Changmin back into the elevator, pressing a button to another floor. Then he looks at Changmin again, smiling at him. “You’ve come here to see me. How?” “I’ll tell you somewhere else.” Yunho nods his head, not realizing that it is urgent at all, not even from the look on Changmin’s face. He is too busy loving that Changmin has come all the way here for him.

When they are safe in Yunho’s room, Changmin finally opens his mouth again. “Jaejoong is going to reset me.” The smile immediately leaves Yunho’s face. “What?” “He’s of course seen that the border had been de-activated for a short time. He checked the security cameras and saw us together. Because of that, he’s going to reset me.” Changmin sees how Yunho falls down onto his bed, taking a hand through his hair. “How did you get here?” “Remember when I told you we travel through space and not through time?” Yunho nods. “I’ve hacked Jaejoong’s system to look things up about the light, when I’d done that, I saw a picture of this building and thought about it. Even though Jaejoong had taken away my clock, I’m still able to travel, because it’s not in time, but spaces. I don’t know why I came here actually, maybe because I wanted to see you one more time before all my memories are erased.” Yunho yanks him down onto the bed and put an arm over his shoulder, resting his head on his shoulder. “I can’t let that happen, he can’t just take you away.” “I’m afraid he can, he’s my master. This shouldn’t have happened anyways.” Yunho shakes his head. Then there is a knock on the door. “Yes?” Yunho asks. “This is Jaejoong, I know you’re here Changmin.” Yunho gulps. “I guess it’s time for me to go.” Changmin says, taking the arm away from around his shoulder. “No.” Yunho says, taking his hand and stopping him. “You, we are not going to give up.” When the door is slammed open and Jaejoong steps in. He sees no one, the room is completely empty. The windows are closed, there isn’t any possible way of escaping. “Did your Humanoid have his clock with him?” Jaejoong asks Yoochun, who is standing beside him. “No, I have it right here.” He holds up the golden thing, showing Jaejoong that they couldn’t have gone back into time.

They are standing on the white sand, next to the border where they always meet up. Yunho is still holding Changmin’s hand, but he quickly lets go. “I’m sorry, I had to get you away. I can’t just let you go like that, not when I’ve just learned to feel emotions, from you.” Changmin looks rather shocked than angry. “How did you do it? So easily?” “I just wanted to go where we first met, that is the only safe place for now. Yoochun has probably rang the alarm already and the whole town is empty, everyone can be easily seen.” Changmin nods. “And now?” Yunho looks at him. “Save the humans and leave? We can’t stay here, at least.” “No, the humans are fine. They only need a small flame to set the woods on fire. They can save themselves, just like the human race has always done.” Yunho interlaces their fingers again, giving Changmin’s hand a squeeze. “Then, should we go? We’re not save here anymore.” The soft wind blows through their hair and coat as they stand there, facing the dark side, where no one has any idea of what is happening, neither does the side their facing with their backs. “Should we?” Changmin is still hesitating, as much as he wants to live his own kind of perfection, the dark has grown into him and has become part of his living. Yunho is hesitating too, but much less than the younger man, because he needs to be somewhere save. “I want you to stay with me, with your own memories of me.” Yunho says, squeezing Changmin’s hand another time. “Okay, let’s go then.” Changmin smiles at him and Yunho smiles back. They both take in the last features of their home, closing their eyes afterwards. They breath in the soft breeze around them. And go.

The white sand whirls up as two bodies disappear from the universe, going through everything humanity has ever thought of to explain things how they are.