1/2: Long time, no see...
...sunlight.
The kids and I decided to take a family vacation to Chugwater, Wyoming to take in the much-discussed 20th Annual Chugwater Chili Cook-Off. Now, Rosie and I had been going for the past 15 years, we weren't there from the start but we were certainly there to support the growth and we even had a brick with our names engraved on it put into the now-legendary Country Girls Embroidery building.
Anyway, I'd been putting off the trip, you know, in her memory, even though I kept getting letters at the old vacation cabin from Kitty West about going to the big 20th celebration. They don't get a lot of East coast news there, I guess. After a lot of thought, I decided to plan out our train route. We had to stick to freight cars and the like, but it wasn't so bad. In fact, "back in the day" Rosie and I did a great deal of hitchhiking, and hopping boxcars is a lot like hitchhiking, but like if the diver didn't know you were in his car. Plenty of company, at least. The kind without cell phones, or a sense of current events, or even a very firm command of the English language.
June 17 - New York City:
We started out in the city, and we had to wait until dark before I felt it was safe enough to get into a car without being spotted. However, we encountered Pier 54 guy, and were skeeved out enough that we waited another day to try again. To our surprise, he was still in the only westward bound car. We huddled in one corner, he in his, and we were treated to a non-stop medley of ABBA and Carly Simon tunes.
June 18 - Detroit:
In Detroit, we said goodbye to Pier 54 guy and had a quick walk around the windy city, finding souvenirs everywhere we looked. We often looked behind window displays.
June 21 - Chicago:
The kids felt that our arrival in Chicago was a perfect time to remind me that Detroit is not known as "the windy city." At the freight yard in Chicago, we saw our first hobo. Normally, I am considered an unstoppable force and invulnerable to all but the strongest opponents, but the kids took a liking to the hobo, who then decided to rob me. The kids found this funny, and chose not to stop him. The kids also lost their share of the souvenir money, so I'm sure they learned their lesson. Coincidentally, his name was Robert.
June 23 - St. Louis:
Once we hit St. Louis, I pointed out the Arch to the kids. I spoke in great detail about the architectural masterpiece that it was, and then they fucked everything up. They just fucked everything up. Everything. Fucked.
June 28 - Amarillo:
I was in quite a mood after St. Louis, so I slept through Amarillo. I only woke up to switch cars after the kids wanted to play bungee jumper off the top of the boxcar.
June 30 - Denver:
We had slept through or otherwise missed some of our planned stops by the time we reached Denver, though I still wanted to fit skiing in. But then again, I want a lot of things. I want to go skiing, I want to breathe the mountain air, I want to be able to retreat to the fire place with Rosie under a blanket as we sip coffee and talk about our futures. I want to be able to buy things in a store or scratch myself where the belt covers my skin, or sleep on my back even. I want to wake up without finding bits of plastic in my mouth.
July 4 - Toronto:
We were far off course when we arrived in Toronto. However, this was vacation, and I was determined to have fun no matter what. Canada is a liberal country with reasonable marijuana laws, so I attempted to buy some. I approached every black man and college student I saw, but no dice. Did you know they don't celebrate the 4th in Canada?
July 7 - Sacramento:
They still would not sell me pot in Sacramento.
July 9 - Cheyenne:
Cheyenne was about as close as we'd ever get to Chugwater, so I said "FUCK IT WE'RE HOOFING IT." It builds character, to tell the truth, and we had enough time to make it by foot. If there's one thing kids don't appreciate anymore is the satisfaction in accomplishing your goals, no matter how gruelling the circumstances are.
The kids and I decided to take a family vacation to Chugwater, Wyoming to take in the much-discussed 20th Annual Chugwater Chili Cook-Off. Now, Rosie and I had been going for the past 15 years, we weren't there from the start but we were certainly there to support the growth and we even had a brick with our names engraved on it put into the now-legendary Country Girls Embroidery building.
Anyway, I'd been putting off the trip, you know, in her memory, even though I kept getting letters at the old vacation cabin from Kitty West about going to the big 20th celebration. They don't get a lot of East coast news there, I guess. After a lot of thought, I decided to plan out our train route. We had to stick to freight cars and the like, but it wasn't so bad. In fact, "back in the day" Rosie and I did a great deal of hitchhiking, and hopping boxcars is a lot like hitchhiking, but like if the diver didn't know you were in his car. Plenty of company, at least. The kind without cell phones, or a sense of current events, or even a very firm command of the English language.
June 17 - New York City:
We started out in the city, and we had to wait until dark before I felt it was safe enough to get into a car without being spotted. However, we encountered Pier 54 guy, and were skeeved out enough that we waited another day to try again. To our surprise, he was still in the only westward bound car. We huddled in one corner, he in his, and we were treated to a non-stop medley of ABBA and Carly Simon tunes.
June 18 - Detroit:
In Detroit, we said goodbye to Pier 54 guy and had a quick walk around the windy city, finding souvenirs everywhere we looked. We often looked behind window displays.
June 21 - Chicago:
The kids felt that our arrival in Chicago was a perfect time to remind me that Detroit is not known as "the windy city." At the freight yard in Chicago, we saw our first hobo. Normally, I am considered an unstoppable force and invulnerable to all but the strongest opponents, but the kids took a liking to the hobo, who then decided to rob me. The kids found this funny, and chose not to stop him. The kids also lost their share of the souvenir money, so I'm sure they learned their lesson. Coincidentally, his name was Robert.
June 23 - St. Louis:
Once we hit St. Louis, I pointed out the Arch to the kids. I spoke in great detail about the architectural masterpiece that it was, and then they fucked everything up. They just fucked everything up. Everything. Fucked.
June 28 - Amarillo:
I was in quite a mood after St. Louis, so I slept through Amarillo. I only woke up to switch cars after the kids wanted to play bungee jumper off the top of the boxcar.
June 30 - Denver:
We had slept through or otherwise missed some of our planned stops by the time we reached Denver, though I still wanted to fit skiing in. But then again, I want a lot of things. I want to go skiing, I want to breathe the mountain air, I want to be able to retreat to the fire place with Rosie under a blanket as we sip coffee and talk about our futures. I want to be able to buy things in a store or scratch myself where the belt covers my skin, or sleep on my back even. I want to wake up without finding bits of plastic in my mouth.
July 4 - Toronto:
We were far off course when we arrived in Toronto. However, this was vacation, and I was determined to have fun no matter what. Canada is a liberal country with reasonable marijuana laws, so I attempted to buy some. I approached every black man and college student I saw, but no dice. Did you know they don't celebrate the 4th in Canada?
July 7 - Sacramento:
They still would not sell me pot in Sacramento.
July 9 - Cheyenne:
Cheyenne was about as close as we'd ever get to Chugwater, so I said "FUCK IT WE'RE HOOFING IT." It builds character, to tell the truth, and we had enough time to make it by foot. If there's one thing kids don't appreciate anymore is the satisfaction in accomplishing your goals, no matter how gruelling the circumstances are.