IMs
So Ockward: So.
THEADORABLEKIDS: WHAT.
So Ockward: I noticed that Shimmy's dead. His bowl shattered and everything.
THEADORABLEKIDS: AND.
So Ockward: I want to know who did it. I recall there was a lot of pleading and bargaining that happened in order to get Shimmy.
THEADORABLEKIDS: THE DOG DID IT. HE HATED SHIMMY.
THEADORABLEKIDS: HE WANTED SHIMMY TO DIE.
THEADORABLEKIDS: A LOT.
So Ockward: Ohhh.
So Ockward: So, it was the dog?
THEADORABLEKIDS: YES. HE IS EVIL.
THEADORABLEKIDS: HE TOLD US.
So Ockward: The dog *told* you he wanted Shimmy dead?
THEADORABLEKIDS: YES. MEMORY CACHE: CONVERSATION WITH DOG.
"I AM THE DOG. I WANT SHIMMY DEAD. LARRY IS AWESOME AND HAS AWESOME HAIR."
SEE.
So Ockward: So, the dog told you all this.
So Ockward: The dog.
THEADORABLEKIDS: YES.
So Ockward: That we don't *have*.
THEADORABLEKIDS: UH.
So Ockward: Uh?
THEADORABLEKIDS: ACTUALLY WE MEANT THE CAT.
So Ockward: Oh I see.
So Ockward: The cat.
So Ockward: That.
So Ockward: We don't.
So Ockward: Have.
THEADORABLEKIDS: HEY LOOK OVER THERE.
THEADORABLEKIDS: IT'S.
THEADORABLEKIDS: LIKE.
THEADORABLEKIDS: THE GHOST OF SHIMMY.
So Ockward: FLO YOU PUT THE GODDAMN FISH CARCASS DOWN *NOW* IT'S COVERED IN GERMS
THEADORABLEKIDS: LOOK SHIMMY IS ALIVE AGAIN.
THEADORABLEKIDS: HE IS FLOPPING HELLO TO YOU.
So Ockward: STOP IT
So Ockward: YOU'RE GETTING DEAD FISH IN MY EYES
THEADORABLEKIDS: WE MADE SHIMMY BETTER AND YOU KILLED HIM AGAIN.
THEADORABLEKIDS: YOU KILLED HIM.
THEADORABLEKIDS: YOU BASTARD.
So Ockward: You know what? We negotiated for FIVE MONTHS to get Shimmy and you just killed him.
So Ockward: We're never having a fish again.
THEADORABLEKIDS: YOU ARE SO MEAN.
THEADORABLEKIDS: WE WANT A PUPPY NOW.
So Ockward: YOU JUST KILLED THE FISH.
So Ockward: YOU ARE NOT GETTING A PUPPY.
THEADORABLEKIDS: PLEASE.
So Ockward: NO!
THEADORABLEKIDS: WE WILL FEED HIM AND DISCARD HIS EXCREMENT.
So Ockward: You'd probably kill that one even faster!
THEADORABLEKIDS: NOW THAT SHIMMY IS OUT OF THE WAY WE CAN HAVE A DOG WITHOUT ANY BITTER RIVALRY.
So Ockward: No. Absolutely not. We're going back to Scotty the Practice Fish.
THEADORABLEKIDS: BOO.
THEADORABLEKIDS: WE HATE SCOTTY.
THEADORABLEKIDS: HE STARES AT US WITH HIS DEAD PLASTIC EYES.
So Ockward: You only hate him because you can't figure out how to kill him yet.
THEADORABLEKIDS: HE WOULD NOT GO DOWN THE TOILET-HOLE.
So Ockward: He is a foot long.
THEADORABLEKIDS: WE WANT TO SET SCOTTY FREE IN THE RIVER.
THEADORABLEKIDS: TO LIVE WITH HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
So Ockward: If you can't take care of Scotty, you can never have another pet. Ever.
THEADORABLEKIDS: WHAT IF SCOTTY DIES OF NATURAL CAUSES.
THEADORABLEKIDS: LIKE A HACKSAW.
So Ockward: The topic is closed. You're not getting another pet.
THEADORABLEKIDS: WE HATE YOU.
So Ockward: Hating me won't get you a puppy.