The Sum of All Parts
This was written for
reversathon, a wonderful Harry Potter exchange fest. It's my longest fiction by far to date, so be kind :)
Rating: PG
Pairing: A big helping of Snape/Lupin, with a side of Luna/Harry and Neville/Hermione
Summary: After the war, Severus Snape is shunned by much of the wizarding world, and permanent injuries leave him unable to run his potions shop alone. Enter a desperate Remus Lupin. Meanwhile, Neville is searching for a cure for his parents, while Luna might just be the most sane one of the bunch. Paths intersect as people start to move on in the months after the war.
Words: ~9,000
Disclaimer: Don’t own these characters, not making any profit, etc.
Reversathon Request: "I'd be very interested in seeing a postwar world with Luna, Neville, Snape and Lupin. When the dust's cleared, what are they doing? Who won the war? What's going on with Neville's parents? Is Luna still mocked by her peers? Is Snape a pariah? I'd love a bittersweet (or heartwrenching if you want to go that far, although I'd appreciate at least a hopeful ending) take on what happens next :). Also, if you wanted to Bring Back (Sirius) Black, that would be the icing on the cake, but please don't feel obliged to do so!"
A/N: Thanks to
starxd_sparrow and lovelychucky for the quick beta, to
thatshanu for being my sounding board late at night, and to erture for helping me name the spell in the beginning.
The Sum of All Parts
October 31, 1998
In the end, it had come down to Harry, Voldemort and Snape, just as Dumbledore had predicted. Harry and Voldemort faced each other in the sunken pit, spells and curses flying, the curtain of the veil fluttering nearby. The sounds of battle could be heard through the door, the Death Eaters and Order both trying to get into the room.
Snape stood, wand at the ready, at Voldemort’s side. A curt command from the Dark Lord kept him from sending any curses Harry’s way - he was here as insurance only. So he watched, his skin tingling with all the power unleashed in the room.
Harry was faltering, he could see. Any moment now, Voldemort would break down the crumbling walls in Harry’s mind and overpower him. Bloody boy must have finally practiced his Occulmency some to get even this far.
Harry stumbled just then, a piece of blasted rubble his downfall. As he fell, Snape could see the gleam of triumph in the Dark Lord’s eyes. Voldemort raised his wand, and Snape tensed. “Avada Kedav - ra …”
At the first word, Snape sprung into action, leaping in between the boy and Voldemort. The gleam quickly disappeared from Voldemort’s face, replaced by shock, his lips hesitating over the last syllable of the curse. The small jet of green light hit Snape on the right side of his body, and his last thought as he fell was that the bloody boy better make this count.
***
Harry stared in confusion at Snape’s falling body. He looked over at Voldemort, who was still looking at Snape’s limp body on the stone floor. This was it. Harry jumped up and aimed his wand at the veil just over Voldemort’s shoulder. “VOCO HOSTIAS POENAE” he shouted, pouring all of his grief, his anger, his love into the spell that he had been practicing inside his head for months.
The spell went right through the curtains of the veil, and for a heart-wrenching moment, nothing happened. Voldemort seemed to regain his composure, his face taking on a terrifying fury directed at Harry. He laughed evilly, assuming Harry had missed him with the spell. As Harry scrambled back against the wall, Voldemort started to advance - but just then, the whispers from the veil started to grow in volume.
Harry watched in a kind of daze, wondering if he was imagining the wispy threads coming from the veil toward Voldemort. Voldemort followed Harry’s gaze over his shoulder and seemed to notice the silvery wisps as well. One touched his robe, and he swatted at it, trying to brush it off. The tendrils stuck to his fingers, and more seeped from the veil, faster now, grabbing at Voldemort’s body. He brushed frantically, his hands becoming more and more sticky with the strange substance.
The threads issuing from the veil seemed to take on form now, and Harry rubbed at his eyes underneath his glasses. It was working! He watched in wonder as the shapes of people began to take shape around Voldemort. And suddenly, he stilled in recognition. He was certain that was Amelia Bones and Karkaroff among the spirits. Cedric Diggory was smiling as he grabbed Voldemort’s right arm, and Sirius was beaming as he wrapped his arms around Voldemort’s body. Lily and James turned to look at Harry, pride glowing in their faces. Lily blew a kiss at Harry and James waved, then both turned back to Voldemort, joining the writhing mass of white surrounding him now. Then two last forms appeared - Dumbledore and Ron. Harry smothered a gasp. Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled at Harry as he grabbed at the glowing white mass that was now Voldemort and pulled him toward the veil. Ron waved at Harry with a cheeky grin, then gave Voldemort a last shove through the veil. In the next instant, it was all gone - his family, Ron, Dumbledore, and Voldemort.
Still not quite believing it had worked, Harry crawled toward Snape’s body, glancing up every few seconds to make sure Voldemort hadn’t come bounding back through the veil. It wasn’t until the door opened and Lupin, Hermione, Luna and Neville poured through to find him crying over Snape that he really started to believe they had won.
November 24, 1998
His mouth felt as though every drop of moisture had been replaced with the sands of the Sahara, his tongue gritty and thick. It was still dark - or was it that his eyelids weren’t open? He laughed sardonically to himself. What’s wrong with you? Get it together, Snape, there’s no telling who’s around to see you like this. He struggled to remember where he was, what had happened. Gradually, he became aware of the murmur of voices, then the sound of a door closing. Someone moved nearby, and his Potions master’s nose picked up the scent of healing draughts around him.
Slowly, he forced his eyes open, and the shape of a short, bustling woman came into focus. Madame Pomfrey? What was she doing here? What was he doing here? Suddenly, it all came rushing back, and he shut his eyes in protest. Dammit! He should bloody well be dead! He saw the Dark - Voldemort cast the Killing Curse. No one would survive - Harry’s startled face as Snape leapt in front of him swam into memory. Bloody hell. He was damned if he was going to be lauded about like that preening teenager for surviving a curse. He opened his eyes again and sat up quickly, determined to get out of the Hospital Wing before anyone saw him. As he went to swing his leg over the bed, his vision blurred and bile rose in his throat, sending his head thudding back to the pillow.
“Oh my goodness! You’re awake!”
Madame Pomfrey’s very loud voice cut through his fog, and he groaned as she hurried over to his bed and started making a fuss.
“We didn’t know if you would ever wake up, Professor Snape! How are you feeling? No, don’t answer that; it’ll take a while for you to get back to normal, I imagine. You’ve been out for almost a month. Here, drink this.”
Pomfrey held a goblet filled with what smelled like a healing draught to his lips, and he quickly swallowed to avoid wearing it. When she pulled the goblet away, he started to reach up with his hand to wipe his mouth, but his arm didn’t move. He looked down at his right arm and tried to make it move again. Not even a flicker of movement. His eyes narrowed, he looked up at Pomfrey, and he rasped out a few words.
“What’s … wrong … with me?”
Pomfrey avoided his gaze and continued fussing, chattering on about how it would take time and he just needed to relax and work on getting better.
He reached out with his left hand and grasped her arm tightly.
“What’s wrong with me?”
The words had venom behind them, and he squeezed her arm until she squeaked. Pity replaced pain in her eyes as she finally met his gaze, and he suddenly dropped her arm.
“Your right side took the brunt of the curse, Severus. Harry told us that You Know Who was interrupted as he sent the curse; otherwise you would probably be dead. But your arm … there was nothing I could do about your right arm. The curse … well, it still had enough power to effectively kill any use in it.”
Snape looked away from Pomfrey, his face studiously blank. “Get out.”
“Severus, I’m so sor -- ”
“GET OUT!” Snape screamed in rage, sitting suddenly up in bed and shaking his one good fist at Pomfrey.
Pomfrey hesitated for a second, then must have realized Snape would need to calm down before he’d let her near him with any more ministrations. She quickly scuttled from the room, glancing over her shoulder with a mixture of pity and concern that enraged Snape even more.
As she shut the door behind her, Snape lay back, his anger suddenly spent. The realization washed over him that the war was over, Voldemort was dead, and he was done. And then, Severus Snape began to cry.
May 15, 1999
Snape cursed loudly as he flicked his wand with his left hand at the stack of boxes against the wall. It was no use - his Levitation Charm wasn’t going to work. He leaned back against the counter, grinding his teeth in frustration. How the bloody hell was he going to open a potions shop if he couldn’t even do a simple levitation?
In the six months since he had waken up without the use of his right arm, he had been relearning his wand movements for spells using his left hand. It was tedious and irritating work, not being able to do even the simplest of spells. Like some idiot first-year student.
He thought briefly of Professor McGonagall’s offer to give him back his Potions job, but the coldness of her eyes had belied the authenticity of the offer. Even though it had come out after the war that Snape had killed Dumbledore under the older wizard’s orders, there were many who still couldn’t forgive him. There were plenty of job openings - a lot of wizards had died in the war - but somehow every job he inquired about suddenly was filled, or they decided they didn’t really need a new employee after all.
His bank vault wasn’t quite empty yet - the reward that came with an Order of Merlin, First Class had went to open the potions shop, with enough left over to live on for the next few months if he was careful. A tinge of bitterness colored his thoughts briefly - if it hadn’t been for that Potter brat, he wouldn’t have even gotten that much for his efforts in defeating Voldemort.
He looked around the dusty shop. For a moment, he was tempted to do wandless magic. It quickly passed; he wasn’t a powerful enough wizard to use it all the time - there was no need to waste his strength on a simple spell when he might need it later. After one more useless flick of his wand, he decided to leave the boxes for the moment. It wasn’t like he could carry them with one useless arm anyway. He looked around for something he could do, and his eyes fell on the sign in the window.
He had put an ad in the Daily Prophet weeks ago for an assistant, albeit reluctantly. But common sense had prevailed, and he knew that, for now, he would need help to make the potions he intended to sell. Many potions required wand work that he wasn’t up to yet, not to mention the day-to-day operations of a potions shop. As soon as he hired someone, he fully intended to make the unlucky wizard or witch handle all the face-to-face interactions as well.
Every witch or wizard who had come to interview for the position so far, however, had either left immediately upon seeing Snape or had been so incompetent he would be better off without them. Bunch of bloody Nevilles.
As he began to gather a few papers to take home with him, the magical chime on the door sounded, and a familiar figure walked in.
***
Remus Lupin had argued with himself for weeks after seeing the ad in the Prophet for a potions assistant. He had been looking for work for almost a month now, ever since his last employer had fired him after a customer complained about being served by a werewolf. He had inquired about any job he came across, from de-gnoming gardens to serving drinks at the Three Broomsticks to playing nanny to young wizards and witches too young to go to school. Most of the jobs, as soon as it was known that he was a werewolf, were suddenly filled, or he was no longer needed. Many he couldn’t even apply for with Ministry restrictions still in place, no matter how much Hermione campaigned against the laws. He was down to his last few knuts, and he was desperate. And proud. He would not go begging off of James’ son’s generosity - indeed, Harry had no idea how bad it had gotten, and wouldn’t, as long as he had something to say about it.
And now he found himself in front of a dinky, dusty potions shop, hoping against hope that he would get this job. He steeled himself, then walked in.
“Severus!”
The other man looked shocked, then unhappy to see him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to apply for the potions assistant opening. Do you work here as well, then?”
“Bloody imbecile. I own this shop!” Snape snarled.
Lupin paused for a moment, then smoothed his hands down his ragged, patched robes. “Well, then, it would be you I would need to talk to about a job?” And he smiled.
***
Snape looked over Lupin’s thin frame with distaste, noting the desperation in his eyes, not realizing it mirrored his own. He started to snap out a negative response, then hesitated.
No one else had wanted the job once they realized who they would be working for. And as much as he hated to admit it, Lupin’s potions skills weren’t entirely repugnantt. Even beyond that, he knew if he didn’t find help soon, he would lose all of the Galleons he had sunk into the shop.
“I suppose you aren’t a total fool when it comes to potions. I would, of course, not be able to pay you much, given your … nature.” With that, Lupin winced a bit. “However, I find myself in need of an assistant, and you will do as well as anyone else. When can you start?”
Lupin’s eyebrow quirked in surprise, then a small smile touched his lips. “Would now be too soon?”
June 3, 1999
“Neville, are you even listening to me?” Hermione was gathering up her quills and scrolls, remnants of her latest letter-writing campaign for WAR, the Wizarding Association for Rights. She had taken a job with them after the war, deciding to work for the rights of werewolves, house elves, and any other groups oppressed by Wizarding society. “Neville!”
Neville dropped his clippers from where he was pruning a tall leafy plant in a pot on the table and looked up.
“I’m sorry, Hermione, I didn’t hear you. What were you saying?” Neville still looked slightly distracted by the plant in front of him, but he was slowly dragging his attention toward Hermione.
Hermione sighed. “Nothing, don’t worry about it, sweetie. I’ll take care of it. Can you make sure you clean up here before you go to visit your parents? I have to run or I’ll be late for the meeting.”
With that, a bit of sadness washed across Neville’s face. “I’m not going to stay too long today, so I should be home by the time you return. I have things I need to take care of in the greenhouses - I have another big order going out at the end of next week.”
Since the end of the war, Neville had started up a thriving mail-order business, sending out plants and potions ingredients around the Wizarding world.
“Right, well, I’ll see you in a bit, then.” Hermione bent over Neville and kissed him, searching his eyes for a moment. “You sure you don’t want to wait on me to go with you?”
Neville paused for a moment, then decided to tell her what was bothering him.
“No, it’s fine. I just thought that now that my parents aren’t some of the only wizards … in that situation … that the Ministry would work harder on a cure. It’s been almost eight months since Voldemort was defeated …”
Hermione held his gaze for a moment, then nodded and kissed him again. “We’ll find a way to cure your parents, I promise.”
***
Harry was waiting for a lift at the Ministry when he saw Luna Lovegood wandering across the reception area toward him.
“Luna! How are you doing? I haven’t seen you since the end of the war!”
“Harry!” she cried, smiling happily. “What brings you to the Ministry? Do you have an infestation of -” She bit her tongue, but Harry didn’t seem to notice.
“No, I’m meeting Tonks for lunch. I think she still wants me to be an Auror, but it’s all clean-up at this point, and I’m having too much fun right now playing Quidditch. What are you doing here?”
“Oh, well, I work here now.”
Harry’s eyes widened for a second, then his expression went back to normal. “Really? I hadn’t heard. What are you doing? Tonks would have told me if you were an Auror.”
“Oh, this and that. I can’t really talk about it here. Would you like to have dinner with me?”
Harry paused again. “Um, sure, that sounds like fun. We can catch up on what’s been going on since the war. Meet you at the The Three Broomsticks around 7?”
Luna nodded, her smile bright and eager. Her fingers fiddled with the strap of her bag, and she lowered her gaze before replying. “I’ll see you then. I’ve got to get going, Harry, but I’m looking forward to tonight.” With that, she walked into the waiting lift and closed its door behind her before Harry had time to react.
Harry shook his head slightly, then settled in to wait for the lift once more.
***
“Severus, we’re running low on dried nettles, sneezewort and Valerian roots. Will you add those to the next ingredients order?” Remus ran a quill down a long roll of parchment, checking inventory behind the counter. He looked up when Snape didn’t reply. Snape was rubbing his forehead with his left hand, looking worried, but a snarl quickly appeared when he saw that Remus was looking at him.
“Fine! I’ll add them to the list. Along with all the other ingredients I need to keep this place running! And I’ll just pull the Galleons out of my arse while I’m at it!”
With that, Snape swept out of the front of the shop, shutting the door to the back room with a loud crash. Remus stood up and followed him.
“Severus, what’s going on? The shop isn’t doing that poorly, is it?” He winced when Snape glared at him. “Okay, so it is. What are we going to do about it?”
“We aren’t going to do anything. I will figure out how to pay for the potions ingredients for my shop.”
Remus nodded. He knew that Snape’s source for ingredients was easily charging him twice what other customers paid and getting away with it. No one else would sell to Snape, so there was little choice. But Snape would soon be unable to afford what he needed, putting the potions shop at risk of closing.
“Have you thought about talking to Neville? I hear he’s opened up a herbology business.”
Remus didn’t think it possible, but Snape’s face grew even more red with anger as he started shouting. “Do you honestly think I’d buy my ingredients from that halfwit who might as well be a Squib? Not having to interact with incompetent nincompoops such as that boy is the only thing that helps me get through my day!”
Remus waited for Snape to stop yelling. “Be that as it may, the fact remains that you don’t have enough Galleons to keep the shop open for another two months at this rate. You have to do something, or you’ll lose this shop and everything you’ve put into it.”
He didn’t have to tell Snape that he had as much to lose if the shop went under. For the first time in ages, he didn’t have the look of a man who worried about where his next meal might come from or if he’d have somewhere to sleep. Not to mention, he seemed to enjoy working with the potions and putting his some of his many skills to work.
Snape looked at him, seeing the look on Lupin’s face, and the anger drained out of him. “You’re right, you bloody werewolf. But I will deny it if you ever tell anyone I said that.”
Remus started to smile, but quickly hid it behind a cough. In the few weeks since he had taken the assistant’s job, the two men had worked long hours together, brewing potions, running the shop and working on Snape’s spellwork in between customers. Snape still was his unpleasant self for the most part, but Lupin had seen cracks in his misanthropic mask start to emerge. He wasn’t about to jeopardize that now.
“So, when would you like to contact Neville?”
Snape smirked. “We should drop by and talk to the brat tomorrow.”
June 4, 1999
A crack sounded through the house, and Hermione Apparated in the middle of the room. “Neville, what’s going on? Your Owl sounded urgent - I was in the middle of a meeting with a Ministry official, so this better be good.” She stopped when she noticed his chalk-white face. “Oh, Neville, is it your Gran?” She rushed over to him.
Neville was sitting in an overstuffed chair, a piece of parchment dangling from his fingertips. He slowly handed it to her without a word. Hermione read over it, heaved a sigh of relief, then glanced at Neville.
“He’s not your professor anymore, you know. There’s nothing he can do to you now.”
“Hermione, I can’t do this! He wants to come talk to me this afternoon about buying potions ingredients - something that would imply having to see the man more than once. The day that man left Hogwarts was one of the best days of my life - I am very much content to never see him another day in my life.”
She studied Neville for a minute, then nodded. “Okay, if that’s what you want. But he’ll just know you’re scared of him - do you really want to give him that satisfaction again?”
He dragged his hands down his face, then looked up at her, his chin resting on his fingertips. “You’re right. There’s no reason I should still be scared of him, I suppose.” He paused doubtfully, then smiled sweetly at her. “Will you stay here this afternoon, though?”
Hermione grinned, then walked over and sat on his lap and proceeded to make him forget about his impending appointment.
***
“You said he’s living with that insufferable know-it-all? How in Salazar’s name did that happen?” Snape grimaced as he walked up the steps to Neville and Hermione’s flat with Lupin.
“Well, they got together not long after Ron was killed in the attack on Hogsmeade. Harry was off hunting Horcruxes and not around, and I think Hermione needed someone to help her through that. After that, it just sort of … worked.” Remus winked at Severus. “Besides, I think she needs someone to boss around, and Neville doesn’t mind being told what to do, for the most part.”
“Fates forbid they should ever procreate - their children would have her attitude and his ineptitude.”
“Severus, really. You are going to have to hold your tongue if you want to enter into a business partnership with the boy. I blame his problems in your class on your scaring the boy witless. He was always an outstanding herbology student.”
Severus grimaced again, then knocked lightly on the door. A few moments later, Hermione opened the door wide and threw her arms around Remus.
“I didn’t know you’d be here today! I haven’t seen you in so long! How are you doing?” Hermione stepped back and smiled with delight at her former professor.
“Severus asked me to come along. I’ve been helping him out at the shop, and he just decided he couldn’t bear to be without me today.” Remus winked at her with a wolfish grin, then glanced at Severus, who was fuming. Hermione glanced nervously at Snape, then ushered the two men inside.
“Neville, Professors Lupin and Snape are here.” Hermione walked ahead of the men into the living room.
Neville stood up to greet the two men. “Professor Lupin, P-professor Snape, it’s good to see you again. Please, have a seat. Would you like any tea? It’s a blend from my greenhouses.”
Lupin accepted a cup of tea with a smile, then nudged Snape sharply in the ribs to make him do the same.
An awkward silence filled the room.
“So, professors, you wanted to talk to us about potions ingredients?” Hermione asked brightly, pulling out lists of ingredients and prices that Neville had prepared.
“Yes, we’re looking for a reliable source of high-quality ingredients, and I know that you were always outstanding in the greenhouse, Neville.” Lupin smiled at the boy, trying to ease his obvious nervousness. With that, Hermione and Lupin started haggling over prices, with Neville and Snape conspicuously quiet throughout.
Lupin knew what sort of markup they were able to afford; at the same time, he knew that Neville was just starting out and could put himself in a jam if he offered the ingredients at those prices.
After Lupin and Hermione reached an embarrassed impasse, the room was silent for a moment. Then Neville suddenly spoke directly to Snape, his voice oddly calm.
“I’ll give the ingredients to you for one percent over cost.”
Hermione and Lupin gasped quietly, while Snape’s eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“What’s the catch, boy?”
“I want you to find a cure for my parents.”
The room went still.
Snape spoke slowly, considering his words. “There’s no guarantee I could find a cure. Wizards have been working on one for that for decades.”
“But you haven’t been working on it. And as much of a bastard as you are, you’re damn good at potions.”
Snape’s nostrils flared in anger, but a quick glance at Lupin stilled whatever biting remark might have come next.
“Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll work on a cure for your parents.”
Now Neville’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “To the best of your ability, you swear?”
Snape snorted. “You have my word, boy. Just don’t think you can renege on your end of the bargain if a cure can’t be found.”
With that, he stood up and swept out of the living room, heading to the door to Apparate back to the potions shop. Remus took a few moments to say goodbye, then walked quickly to catch up to Snape.
As soon as they were gone, Neville, who had been tense and sitting up straight as a rod, slumped back in his chair in relief, the courage draining out of him.
“Neville, I’m so proud of you! Although, I bet you could have charged them a bit more and he still would have agreed!”
Neville looked at Hermione oddly. “Don’t you realize, Hermione? I would give them the ingredients for free if it means Professor Snape will find a cure for my parents.”
June 21, 1999
“I can’t believe you called the man a bastard! I wish I could have been there to see the look on his face!” Harry crowed with laughter, nearly knocking his butterbeer over in his mirth.
Neville smiled, taking another sip of his drink and looking around The Three Broomsticks. He and Harry had tried to meet up at least once a month since the war ended, to catch up on each others’ lives and stay in touch. After the prophecies came out, Harry and Neville had grown a lot closer, once Neville realized how close he had come to being in Harry’s shoes.
Now, Harry was still chortling with laughter and wiping the tears away from under his glasses. Neville finally started laughing as well. “Okay, so yeah, it is kind of funny now. But I was certain the man was going to hex me into eternity at the time!”
The boys calmed down finally and sat for a bit, drinking their butterbeers in companionable silence.
“So, Harry, what’s going on with you and Luna? Hermione tells me that you two are dating?”
Harry shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not sure what we’re doing has a label, exactly. We’ve been out to dinner a few times, hung out some … I’m not sure what’s going on.” He took another sip of his drink. “She’s hard to read, you know. Always has been. Bloody girls, right?”
Neville smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I hear you, mate. But I just nod and smile, and that seems to work just fine with Hermione.”
Harry laughed. “Yeah, well, you’ll never have a hard time figuring Hermione out. If she thinks you’re too slow to pick up on something, she’s not afraid to tell you exactly what’s what. I don’t envy you, my friend.”
Neville laughed and nodded. “So how did you and Luna get together, anyway? I hadn’t heard anything about her until now.”
Harry paused, then looked Neville in the eye. “Can you keep a secret, mate?” Neville frowned, then nodded. “Luna’s been working for the Ministry since the end of the war. They recruited her for the Department of Mysteries - she’s an Unspeakable.”
Neville’s eyes widened. “Wow. I never would have thought she’d end up in the Ministry, let alone an Unspeakable!”
“Yeah, it’s pretty neat, actually. Know how everyone used to make fun of her for being daft and believing in stuff no one else could see? Well, turns out, some of that stuff is actually real, and her job is to find out as much as she can about the creatures.”
Neville’s eyes got even bigger, then he started laughing again. “Who would have thought this, Harry? That I’d be calling Snape a bastard someday, and Luna would turn out to be completely sane?”
The bartender groaned inwardly at the two wizards howling loudly at the other end of the bar, hoping he wouldn’t have to throw them out again.
June 30, 1999
Lupin hunched over the lab counter in the back of the potions shop, stirring a bubbling cauldron. Snape came up behind him silently, deposited a goblet at his elbow, then started to walk off.
“What’s this, Severus?”
“Don’t think I hadn’t noticed your four-day absence after the full moon last month. I can’t have that happening every month - I don’t know whose Wolfsbane potion you took last month, but it must have been worthless if you needed four days to recuperate. I’ll have your next dose tomorrow.”
Snape shifted uncomfortably at the look on Lupin’s face.
“Severus, I don’t know what to say … how did you …” Lupin let the question go unasked.
Snape started to turn away, then looked back at Lupin. “I can use some wandless magic when I have to.” He turned to walk away again, but Lupin caught him by the arm.
“Severus … thank you. You have no idea what this means to me, truly.” Snape looked down at where Lupin’s hand met bare flesh on his wrist, and his mouth worked soundlessly. After a few seconds, he pulled his arm away as if burned, then nodded and fled. Lupin looked down at his hand, rubbing at it thoughtfully as he pondered the warmth spreading through his body.
Lupin finished up the potions he was working on, giving Snape time to think. After cleaning up, he picked up the goblet Snape had brought him, steeling himself for the awful taste, then took a large swallow. He nearly spit it out again, but managed to control himself in time.
He stared down at the goblet strangely, then finished off the rest of the potion, smiling as the taste of peppermint lingered in his mouth.
Lupin walked into the front of the potions shop, which had closed for the day. Snape was unpacking a parcel of green leafy plants by hand, muttering as he pulled each one out of the tiny magicked box. With each plant he pulled out, he muttered a bit louder, examining the leaves closely.
“Is something wrong with the shipment?” Lupin asked Snape, startling him.
“What? Yes, there’s something wrong with the shipment! Look at this! The leaves look as if something has been chewing on them! That bloody boy sent me infested plants! It’s on his head - this is one of the ingredients I need for the experiment I’m working on for his parents. If it doesn’t work, it’s his incompetence, not mine!”
Lupin leaned over to look. “I think it’ll be okay … look, only certain leaves look chewed. Tear them off and use the rest of the plant - it shouldn’t affect the outcome.”
Snape looked put out at having his rant silenced by such practicality, but he stopped muttering. Lupin joined him as he started pulling leaves off, and Snape kept shooting him indecipherable looks every so often. When they finished, Lupin gathered his outer robes and went to leave for the night, but stopped at the last moment as if he had forgotten something.
“Severus, would you like to join me for dinner tonight?”
Snape looked up in surprise, the collected himself, trying to ignore the increase in his heartbeat at the werewolf’s offer.
“Yes, I think I’d like that.”
***
“ … so I think that the trauma and pain of the prolonged Cruciatus Curse caused lasting tremors in the minds of the victims - vibrations if you will - that are so violent and frequent that the victims are ‘frozen’, only occasionally able to move or communicate. If I could find something that will slow down the tremors, I think I could effect a cure.”
Remus had stopped eating and was watching Snape talk animatedly, describing his theories about the Longbottoms’ condition. “So, how did you come to this conclusion?”
Snape’s eyes clouded for a moment. “Cruciatus was a favorite of the Dark - Voldemort, when his followers failed him. I was on the receiving end often enough to know some of the lasting effects. When it would go on for long enough, I would have tremors and shakes for days afterward. And it occurred to me the other night that when something vibrates fast enough, it appears to be frozen in place. So if I could find a way to slow down the vibrations …”
Snape broke off as he noticed that Remus was watching him with a mix of sympathy and appreciation. “That sounds like a good working theory. I’m just sorry you had to know that pain to come to that conclusion.” He reached across the table and took Snape’s good hand in his own. “Thank you for telling me.”
Snape squirmed uncomfortably for a moment, but he didn’t pull his hand away. He decided to change the subject.
“So, what ever happened to you and that Metamophagus?”
Remus flinched visibly, then pulled his hand away. “You knew about that? It seems so long ago.” He took a sip of his water, then cleared his throat.
“I had very strong feelings for Tonks - and I tried to make it work. She was there for me, and she didn’t seem to care that I turned into a monster one day a month. So I took advantage of the situation - I was lonely, and I did care about her. But I was never going to love her, not the way she loved me. I tried to push her away … but in the end, I hurt her. Very badly. I didn’t have a choice.”
Snape, paying keen attention to Lupin’s words, raised his eyebrow in question. Lupin met his gaze, then made a visible decision to keep talking.
“You have to understand, I was already set apart from everyone else. I was a werewolf. I didn’t need another reason for everyone to look at me differently. So I tried to make it work with her - but in the end, it wasn’t fair. I would never be attracted to her … not the way I’m attracted to other men.”
Snape’s eyes widened for a fleeting instant, but he nodded as if it confirmed his suspicions. Remus had looked away during his last statement, and he slowly looked at Snape out of the corner of his eyes, trying to gauge his reaction. Slowly, hesitantly, Snape reached out and took Lupin’s hand again. Lupin smiled, then changed the subject, trying to clear the sudden tension in the air.
“So, how far along on a working potion are you?”
Snape took up the threads of their previous conversation gladly.
“Well, I think I’ve got the base for the potion ready, I just need to figure out the last few ingredients and how they need to be added. That infested bunch of plants that Longbottom sent me are ones known for their calming, almost soporific effect. I’ve brewed several batches of the potion using various amounts and methods, and it should be ready to test tomorrow. I’ve Crucioed a bunch of transfigured rats to use as test subjects.”
“Let me know what I can do to help - I’ve caught up on most of the potions orders for the shop,” Remus replied. Snape pulled his hand away at that.
“I don’t need any help with this. I told the boy I’d do it, and I’ll do it.” With that, Snape sulked for the rest of the dinner in silence, leaving Remus to sit there in stunned confusion.
***
Snape looked into one of the many cauldrons set up in the lab, checking it to make sure it was still at a slow boil and the temperature was steady. After he had checked the last concoction, he looked around the room for something else to occupy his thoughts.
What the hell was he thinking, opening up to that bloody werewolf? For a moment, he had even thought that Remus understood, had been interested, but then the werewolf had reminded him that he was only around to help out with the things that he couldn’t do with one useless arm.
He paced around the room, muttering to himself. Remus had needed a job; that was the only reason he was still here, he reminded himself. He didn’t care about Snape, and he certainly wasn’t interested. What was he thinking, taking the man’s hand like that?
He pulled out his wand with his left hand and aimed it at the nearest empty jar. It exploded with a satisfying bang, sprinkling glass pieces over the lab floor. He waved his wand again, to clean up the pieces. Nothing happened. He tried again, but the glass sparkled on the floor, winking and laughing at him.
With a muffled roar of anger, he Apparated home, leaving the glass for Lupin to clean up in the morning.
***
Lupin left the restaurant, shaken after Snape had left without a word of goodbye. He had thought things were going well - the man was finally starting to open up to him, and he seemed to understand what Lupin’s confession had meant. But then he had put up his wall again, and Lupin was going over their conversation in his head, trying to figure out what he had said.
He had walked for a while, lost in his thoughts, and somehow he ended up at Harry’s flat without realizing it. He shrugged, then knocked, not wanting to go home yet.
Harry came to the door and opened it a crack, looking flustered. “Professor Lupin, hey, what are you doing here? I mean … I’m glad to see you and all, but it is kind of late …”
Lupin didn’t seem to notice his agitation, as lost in his thoughts of dinner as he was. “I just thought I’d stop by and see how you were doing. And honestly, I just didn’t want to go home yet.”
Harry realized something was up, and he glanced behind him, then opened the door a bit wider. “Alright, come on in,” he said, with a touch of regret. As Lupin walked in, he saw Luna Lovegood sitting on the couch, and as he noticed that the buttons were not quite lined up on her blouse, he realized what he had walked in on. His face turned a bright shade of pink as he tried to think of a way to leave again quickly.
“Hello, Luna! I’m sorry, Harry, I didn’t realize you had company - I’ll visit some other time to catch up.” Remus backed away toward the door, determined to give Harry his privacy.
“Remus, don’t be silly. Come sit down, and Harry can fix us all some tea,” Luna said, with no hint of embarrassment in her voice.
Harry scurried off to the kitchen, and Remus took a seat near Luna. “I’m truly sorry to have interrupted … anything. I was out for a walk and somehow found myself here.”
Luna nodded wisely. “Your feet knew where you needed to be, even if you didn’t. You seem upset. What’s wrong?” Her straightforward, blunt manner somehow put Remus at ease, and he found himself spilling the whole story out to her.
After he had stopped talking, she looked at him for a moment, her blue eyes seeming to pierce through to what he hadn’t told her.
“So, you have feelings for Professor Snape?”
Remus’ eyes widened, but he didn’t deny it. He sat for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts, when Harry walked in with tea for everyone.
“Please don’t tell me that I just heard Luna ask you if you have feelings for Snape, professor.”
Luna looked at him sharply, and he shrugged his shoulders. “What? I mean, yeah, he turned out to be good and helped me defeat Voldemort and all that mess, but he’s still … greasy!”
Remus burst out laughing at that. And kept laughing, so long that even Luna looked concerned.
“Harry, you are completely right. He is still greasy, and he might even be more ornery than he was as your professor. But … it’s hard to explain.” Remus grew serious. “We’re both … we’re both kind of dark and twisty, and we understand each other. Or, at least, I thought he understood me. But after tonight … I’m not sure what I said that upset him so much.”
Luna looked at him in surprise. “Oh, I thought you knew that. Remus, it’s not hard to figure out that Professor Snape is still upset about not being able to use his arm. And when you mentioned that you would like to help him, it reminded him of his disability. He’s a proud man - I figured that out on the first day of class. It’s probably extremely hard for him to accept help - I would feel honored that he has let you in this far.”
Remus was astounded at her insight. Of course that’s what it was - it made complete sense, when she put it like that. He knew how proud the git could be.
“Luna, you might be my new favorite person.” He stood up and gave her a hug, then hurried to the door. “Talk to you later, Harry,” he called without a backward glance. As soon as he was out the door, he Apparated away.
Harry looked a bit boggled by the last few moments, but he protested as Remus left with a loud crack. “Well, how do you like that?”
Luna smiled and reached over, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him toward her. “Hush, Harry.”
July 28, 1999
“What the bloody hell am I doing wrong?” Snape growled, then flipped through his parchments yet again, looking for the missing link.
Remus looked over at him from where he was working on some basic potions, but he didn’t say anything. Tensions had been high since their dinner together weeks before, and though Remus had tried to bring it up several times, Snape had refused to talk about it. So, for now, Remus was giving him his space.
“What are you looking at? Don’t just stand there with that blasted blank look on your face, come over here and tell me what I’m doing wrong!”
Lupin’s eyes widened in surprise, but he walked over, not willing to give up this chance to talk to Severus again.
“What’s the problem? I thought you were making good headway on the potion …”
“I was. I am! That’s the bloody problem. I’ve found a variation that seems to work, and I can’t replicate it!”
“You’ve found a cure? Severus, that’s amazing!” Lupin’s voice held a note of awe in it.
“It’s not amazing, it’s nothing unless I can reproduce the potion. I took notes, copious amounts of notes. And I’m doing exactly what I did before - but it doesn’t work.”
Remus looked over at Snape, then smiled. “Well, if you’ve done it once, you’re bound to be able to do it again. Where should we start?”
And just like that, the tension was gone, and the two men were working together in perfect sync for the rest of the night.
July 30, 1999
Lupin and Snape were sitting in chairs in the potions lab, staring at the cauldrons with bloodshot eyes.
“I don’t understand what we’re doing wrong.” Lupin looked over at Snape, repeating the sentiment again. “We’ve tried everything, every variation again on that potion. We must be missing something.”
The two men sat in silence, trying to think of what else they could try, minds dazed from a lack of sleep.
Suddenly, Snape sat up. “That’s it! We are missing something! The plants Neville sent me were infested! What if we missed one of whatever was infesting them? What if it was never the plant in the first place, but whatever creature it was that was drawn to them?”
Remus looked over at Snape in dawning realization. “We have to go to Neville’s right now, and hope he hasn’t finished cleaning out whatever infested those plants in the first place.”
With that, the two men jumped up and looked at each other in excitement. “I think we’ve got it!” Snape yelled, then grabbed Lupin in a sudden embrace. He froze for a moment, realizing what he had just done, then smiled at the astonished man in front of him. He grabbed Lupin’s hand, and they Apparated to the steps of Neville and Hermione’s flat. Snape knocked loudly, continuously, until Neville opened the door with a frown on his face.
Snape swept past Neville, dragging Lupin with him. “Where are your greenhouses, boy? Now!” He yelled as Neville started to stammer out a hesitant reply.
As he walked into the dining room on the way through the house, he was brought up short by the sight of Hermione, Luna, and Harry sitting at the table, a large birthday cake in the center of the table.
“What’s going on, Professors?” Harry asked, noting the anxious, bloodshot eyes of the two men.
“Neville, that plant you sent us, the one that was infested with some creature - do you still have any that’s showing the same signs of infestation?” Lupin quickly asked, realizing that Snape was too keyed up to offer any explanation.
“Yes, but I’ve never been able to find out what was infesting it - I’ve tried all kinds of methods of killing it, magical and otherwise, but the signs are still there. But I’ve never seen anything in it.”
Luna perked up. “What kind of plant is it, Neville?”
“It’s a variety of wormwood - its odor is usually enough to drive off any pests, which is why I was surprised to see the signs of something getting into it.”
Luna had stopped listening when she heard wormwood. Her eyes grew glazed as she tried to remember something, then sharpened back into focus. “There is one pest that is attracted to wormwood - nargles. But they’re invisible, which is why you wouldn’t have seen it.”
Snape glared at Luna. “This is not the time for your fantasy creatures, girl! Nargles. Do. Not. Exist.” She just stared blithely at him, not bothering to contradict him.
“Um, Professor? She could be right … ,” Harry said, trying to ignore the look on Snape’s face. “She … has experience with creatures the rest of us don’t always see, and if she says there are nargles, I’m inclined to believe her.”
Snape, paused, then looked at Luna. It made an odd sort of sense. He had never seen anything in the plants he used, but something wasn’t there that had been there in the successful variation. “Alright girl, so how would one prove that there is something there?”
She smiled, then got up and gestured for them to follow her out to Neville’s greenhouse.
***
The lab in the back of his potions store was crowded with chattering, excited young people, and Snape could barely hear himself think. He tried to shut everything out as he murmured a few words to uncork the bottle of nargles that Luna had gathered for him. She had told him that these were ones that had died of natural causes, leaving their dried husks at the base of the wormwood. He couldn’t see them, but he trusted her after Harry had told him what she had been doing all these months.
He finished mixing the nargles in, then followed his notes to finish the potion. Three stirs clockwise, then nine counterclockwise. That should do it. He decanted some of the potion into a bottle and magicked a stopper into it, not bothering to use his wand for the moment.
He grabbed a dropper and filled it with a few drops of the potion, and walked over to where his transfigured rats were caged. He gave the potion to one of the still rats, then watched apprehensively. After a few moments, the rat began to twitch and move, and within a few minutes, it was up and grooming itself in the corner.
Snape carried the stoppered bottle over to Neville and handed it to the boy.
“Here. I think you’ll find that this satisfies my end of the bargain. Give your parents each a few drops every hour until it shows signs of working. It will take longer than the rat did - wizard metabolism is quite a bit slower.”
“If this works, Professor Snape …” Neville’s eyes glittered excitedly.
“It will work, you bloody fool.” But the harsh words weren’t backed up with any bite, and Snape’s face might have been mistaken for compassionate. Neville took the bottle from Snape quickly and threw his arms around his former Potions master in a hug. Without giving Snape time to react, he grabbed Hermione’s arm and they Apparated to the hospital, Harry and Luna not far behind.
“A hug from Neville bloody Longbottom? What is the world coming to? Voldemort coming back with thing for kittens and bloody rainbows?” Snape grimaced and wiped his hands down the front of his robe. Lupin grinned at him, a grin that slowly faded as Snape finally looked at him. Snape composed his face into an unreadable mask.
“Well, if the potion does work, I suppose you won’t need to work here anymore.” Snape’s words were strangely calm. He’d let Remus go without a fight, if that was what he wanted.
Lupin frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“The potion is enough to make us both rich - surely you’ve realized that? So you’ll have enough to live comfortably on for quite some time. You can go wherever you want.”
“Are you out of your bloody mind? Do you think I’d leave you just because I have a little bit of money? You don’t know me at all, then, Severus.” Lupin’s eyes were blazing. “I can’t believe you think so little of me.”
“Remus … I … There’s no reason to stay with me now. You don’t need me -- I’m a broken, scarred old man. What good is a wizard with one bloody useless arm? I’ll never be whole …”
Lupin’s eyes softened, and for a moment, Snape felt a strange emotion rising up in him. Is that really hope? It’s been so long … .
“You bloody fool. I don’t care about that.”
Snape took a deep breath, then dropped all of his defenses and looked down into the other man’s eyes. “I’ve been an idiot, Remus. I’ve used my arm as an excuse to not move on and get past the war and everything that happened. And … to keep you from getting closer to me than you already are.” Snape smiled faintly. “Do you think you could get past the greasy hair and the scars, and … care about someone like me?”
Remus moved closer to Snape, reaching out to hold his limp hand with both of his strong ones. His eyes held Snape’s as he leaned forward to kiss him softly. “I need you, greasy hair and all. And I promise to be your right arm for as long as you need me.” Snape smiled, a real smile, for the first time in many years, and he moved into the other man’s arms.
Fin
** Author’s note: All apologies to Awakenings and Medicine Man for inspiring certain plot devices. They did it much better, and I’m not making any money off of this, so I think they’ll forgive me.
reversathon, a wonderful Harry Potter exchange fest. It's my longest fiction by far to date, so be kind :)
Rating: PG
Pairing: A big helping of Snape/Lupin, with a side of Luna/Harry and Neville/Hermione
Summary: After the war, Severus Snape is shunned by much of the wizarding world, and permanent injuries leave him unable to run his potions shop alone. Enter a desperate Remus Lupin. Meanwhile, Neville is searching for a cure for his parents, while Luna might just be the most sane one of the bunch. Paths intersect as people start to move on in the months after the war.
Words: ~9,000
Disclaimer: Don’t own these characters, not making any profit, etc.
Reversathon Request: "I'd be very interested in seeing a postwar world with Luna, Neville, Snape and Lupin. When the dust's cleared, what are they doing? Who won the war? What's going on with Neville's parents? Is Luna still mocked by her peers? Is Snape a pariah? I'd love a bittersweet (or heartwrenching if you want to go that far, although I'd appreciate at least a hopeful ending) take on what happens next :). Also, if you wanted to Bring Back (Sirius) Black, that would be the icing on the cake, but please don't feel obliged to do so!"
A/N: Thanks to
starxd_sparrow and lovelychucky for the quick beta, to
thatshanu for being my sounding board late at night, and to erture for helping me name the spell in the beginning.
The Sum of All Parts
October 31, 1998
In the end, it had come down to Harry, Voldemort and Snape, just as Dumbledore had predicted. Harry and Voldemort faced each other in the sunken pit, spells and curses flying, the curtain of the veil fluttering nearby. The sounds of battle could be heard through the door, the Death Eaters and Order both trying to get into the room.
Snape stood, wand at the ready, at Voldemort’s side. A curt command from the Dark Lord kept him from sending any curses Harry’s way - he was here as insurance only. So he watched, his skin tingling with all the power unleashed in the room.
Harry was faltering, he could see. Any moment now, Voldemort would break down the crumbling walls in Harry’s mind and overpower him. Bloody boy must have finally practiced his Occulmency some to get even this far.
Harry stumbled just then, a piece of blasted rubble his downfall. As he fell, Snape could see the gleam of triumph in the Dark Lord’s eyes. Voldemort raised his wand, and Snape tensed. “Avada Kedav - ra …”
At the first word, Snape sprung into action, leaping in between the boy and Voldemort. The gleam quickly disappeared from Voldemort’s face, replaced by shock, his lips hesitating over the last syllable of the curse. The small jet of green light hit Snape on the right side of his body, and his last thought as he fell was that the bloody boy better make this count.
***
Harry stared in confusion at Snape’s falling body. He looked over at Voldemort, who was still looking at Snape’s limp body on the stone floor. This was it. Harry jumped up and aimed his wand at the veil just over Voldemort’s shoulder. “VOCO HOSTIAS POENAE” he shouted, pouring all of his grief, his anger, his love into the spell that he had been practicing inside his head for months.
The spell went right through the curtains of the veil, and for a heart-wrenching moment, nothing happened. Voldemort seemed to regain his composure, his face taking on a terrifying fury directed at Harry. He laughed evilly, assuming Harry had missed him with the spell. As Harry scrambled back against the wall, Voldemort started to advance - but just then, the whispers from the veil started to grow in volume.
Harry watched in a kind of daze, wondering if he was imagining the wispy threads coming from the veil toward Voldemort. Voldemort followed Harry’s gaze over his shoulder and seemed to notice the silvery wisps as well. One touched his robe, and he swatted at it, trying to brush it off. The tendrils stuck to his fingers, and more seeped from the veil, faster now, grabbing at Voldemort’s body. He brushed frantically, his hands becoming more and more sticky with the strange substance.
The threads issuing from the veil seemed to take on form now, and Harry rubbed at his eyes underneath his glasses. It was working! He watched in wonder as the shapes of people began to take shape around Voldemort. And suddenly, he stilled in recognition. He was certain that was Amelia Bones and Karkaroff among the spirits. Cedric Diggory was smiling as he grabbed Voldemort’s right arm, and Sirius was beaming as he wrapped his arms around Voldemort’s body. Lily and James turned to look at Harry, pride glowing in their faces. Lily blew a kiss at Harry and James waved, then both turned back to Voldemort, joining the writhing mass of white surrounding him now. Then two last forms appeared - Dumbledore and Ron. Harry smothered a gasp. Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled at Harry as he grabbed at the glowing white mass that was now Voldemort and pulled him toward the veil. Ron waved at Harry with a cheeky grin, then gave Voldemort a last shove through the veil. In the next instant, it was all gone - his family, Ron, Dumbledore, and Voldemort.
Still not quite believing it had worked, Harry crawled toward Snape’s body, glancing up every few seconds to make sure Voldemort hadn’t come bounding back through the veil. It wasn’t until the door opened and Lupin, Hermione, Luna and Neville poured through to find him crying over Snape that he really started to believe they had won.
November 24, 1998
His mouth felt as though every drop of moisture had been replaced with the sands of the Sahara, his tongue gritty and thick. It was still dark - or was it that his eyelids weren’t open? He laughed sardonically to himself. What’s wrong with you? Get it together, Snape, there’s no telling who’s around to see you like this. He struggled to remember where he was, what had happened. Gradually, he became aware of the murmur of voices, then the sound of a door closing. Someone moved nearby, and his Potions master’s nose picked up the scent of healing draughts around him.
Slowly, he forced his eyes open, and the shape of a short, bustling woman came into focus. Madame Pomfrey? What was she doing here? What was he doing here? Suddenly, it all came rushing back, and he shut his eyes in protest. Dammit! He should bloody well be dead! He saw the Dark - Voldemort cast the Killing Curse. No one would survive - Harry’s startled face as Snape leapt in front of him swam into memory. Bloody hell. He was damned if he was going to be lauded about like that preening teenager for surviving a curse. He opened his eyes again and sat up quickly, determined to get out of the Hospital Wing before anyone saw him. As he went to swing his leg over the bed, his vision blurred and bile rose in his throat, sending his head thudding back to the pillow.
“Oh my goodness! You’re awake!”
Madame Pomfrey’s very loud voice cut through his fog, and he groaned as she hurried over to his bed and started making a fuss.
“We didn’t know if you would ever wake up, Professor Snape! How are you feeling? No, don’t answer that; it’ll take a while for you to get back to normal, I imagine. You’ve been out for almost a month. Here, drink this.”
Pomfrey held a goblet filled with what smelled like a healing draught to his lips, and he quickly swallowed to avoid wearing it. When she pulled the goblet away, he started to reach up with his hand to wipe his mouth, but his arm didn’t move. He looked down at his right arm and tried to make it move again. Not even a flicker of movement. His eyes narrowed, he looked up at Pomfrey, and he rasped out a few words.
“What’s … wrong … with me?”
Pomfrey avoided his gaze and continued fussing, chattering on about how it would take time and he just needed to relax and work on getting better.
He reached out with his left hand and grasped her arm tightly.
“What’s wrong with me?”
The words had venom behind them, and he squeezed her arm until she squeaked. Pity replaced pain in her eyes as she finally met his gaze, and he suddenly dropped her arm.
“Your right side took the brunt of the curse, Severus. Harry told us that You Know Who was interrupted as he sent the curse; otherwise you would probably be dead. But your arm … there was nothing I could do about your right arm. The curse … well, it still had enough power to effectively kill any use in it.”
Snape looked away from Pomfrey, his face studiously blank. “Get out.”
“Severus, I’m so sor -- ”
“GET OUT!” Snape screamed in rage, sitting suddenly up in bed and shaking his one good fist at Pomfrey.
Pomfrey hesitated for a second, then must have realized Snape would need to calm down before he’d let her near him with any more ministrations. She quickly scuttled from the room, glancing over her shoulder with a mixture of pity and concern that enraged Snape even more.
As she shut the door behind her, Snape lay back, his anger suddenly spent. The realization washed over him that the war was over, Voldemort was dead, and he was done. And then, Severus Snape began to cry.
May 15, 1999
Snape cursed loudly as he flicked his wand with his left hand at the stack of boxes against the wall. It was no use - his Levitation Charm wasn’t going to work. He leaned back against the counter, grinding his teeth in frustration. How the bloody hell was he going to open a potions shop if he couldn’t even do a simple levitation?
In the six months since he had waken up without the use of his right arm, he had been relearning his wand movements for spells using his left hand. It was tedious and irritating work, not being able to do even the simplest of spells. Like some idiot first-year student.
He thought briefly of Professor McGonagall’s offer to give him back his Potions job, but the coldness of her eyes had belied the authenticity of the offer. Even though it had come out after the war that Snape had killed Dumbledore under the older wizard’s orders, there were many who still couldn’t forgive him. There were plenty of job openings - a lot of wizards had died in the war - but somehow every job he inquired about suddenly was filled, or they decided they didn’t really need a new employee after all.
His bank vault wasn’t quite empty yet - the reward that came with an Order of Merlin, First Class had went to open the potions shop, with enough left over to live on for the next few months if he was careful. A tinge of bitterness colored his thoughts briefly - if it hadn’t been for that Potter brat, he wouldn’t have even gotten that much for his efforts in defeating Voldemort.
He looked around the dusty shop. For a moment, he was tempted to do wandless magic. It quickly passed; he wasn’t a powerful enough wizard to use it all the time - there was no need to waste his strength on a simple spell when he might need it later. After one more useless flick of his wand, he decided to leave the boxes for the moment. It wasn’t like he could carry them with one useless arm anyway. He looked around for something he could do, and his eyes fell on the sign in the window.
He had put an ad in the Daily Prophet weeks ago for an assistant, albeit reluctantly. But common sense had prevailed, and he knew that, for now, he would need help to make the potions he intended to sell. Many potions required wand work that he wasn’t up to yet, not to mention the day-to-day operations of a potions shop. As soon as he hired someone, he fully intended to make the unlucky wizard or witch handle all the face-to-face interactions as well.
Every witch or wizard who had come to interview for the position so far, however, had either left immediately upon seeing Snape or had been so incompetent he would be better off without them. Bunch of bloody Nevilles.
As he began to gather a few papers to take home with him, the magical chime on the door sounded, and a familiar figure walked in.
***
Remus Lupin had argued with himself for weeks after seeing the ad in the Prophet for a potions assistant. He had been looking for work for almost a month now, ever since his last employer had fired him after a customer complained about being served by a werewolf. He had inquired about any job he came across, from de-gnoming gardens to serving drinks at the Three Broomsticks to playing nanny to young wizards and witches too young to go to school. Most of the jobs, as soon as it was known that he was a werewolf, were suddenly filled, or he was no longer needed. Many he couldn’t even apply for with Ministry restrictions still in place, no matter how much Hermione campaigned against the laws. He was down to his last few knuts, and he was desperate. And proud. He would not go begging off of James’ son’s generosity - indeed, Harry had no idea how bad it had gotten, and wouldn’t, as long as he had something to say about it.
And now he found himself in front of a dinky, dusty potions shop, hoping against hope that he would get this job. He steeled himself, then walked in.
“Severus!”
The other man looked shocked, then unhappy to see him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to apply for the potions assistant opening. Do you work here as well, then?”
“Bloody imbecile. I own this shop!” Snape snarled.
Lupin paused for a moment, then smoothed his hands down his ragged, patched robes. “Well, then, it would be you I would need to talk to about a job?” And he smiled.
***
Snape looked over Lupin’s thin frame with distaste, noting the desperation in his eyes, not realizing it mirrored his own. He started to snap out a negative response, then hesitated.
No one else had wanted the job once they realized who they would be working for. And as much as he hated to admit it, Lupin’s potions skills weren’t entirely repugnantt. Even beyond that, he knew if he didn’t find help soon, he would lose all of the Galleons he had sunk into the shop.
“I suppose you aren’t a total fool when it comes to potions. I would, of course, not be able to pay you much, given your … nature.” With that, Lupin winced a bit. “However, I find myself in need of an assistant, and you will do as well as anyone else. When can you start?”
Lupin’s eyebrow quirked in surprise, then a small smile touched his lips. “Would now be too soon?”
June 3, 1999
“Neville, are you even listening to me?” Hermione was gathering up her quills and scrolls, remnants of her latest letter-writing campaign for WAR, the Wizarding Association for Rights. She had taken a job with them after the war, deciding to work for the rights of werewolves, house elves, and any other groups oppressed by Wizarding society. “Neville!”
Neville dropped his clippers from where he was pruning a tall leafy plant in a pot on the table and looked up.
“I’m sorry, Hermione, I didn’t hear you. What were you saying?” Neville still looked slightly distracted by the plant in front of him, but he was slowly dragging his attention toward Hermione.
Hermione sighed. “Nothing, don’t worry about it, sweetie. I’ll take care of it. Can you make sure you clean up here before you go to visit your parents? I have to run or I’ll be late for the meeting.”
With that, a bit of sadness washed across Neville’s face. “I’m not going to stay too long today, so I should be home by the time you return. I have things I need to take care of in the greenhouses - I have another big order going out at the end of next week.”
Since the end of the war, Neville had started up a thriving mail-order business, sending out plants and potions ingredients around the Wizarding world.
“Right, well, I’ll see you in a bit, then.” Hermione bent over Neville and kissed him, searching his eyes for a moment. “You sure you don’t want to wait on me to go with you?”
Neville paused for a moment, then decided to tell her what was bothering him.
“No, it’s fine. I just thought that now that my parents aren’t some of the only wizards … in that situation … that the Ministry would work harder on a cure. It’s been almost eight months since Voldemort was defeated …”
Hermione held his gaze for a moment, then nodded and kissed him again. “We’ll find a way to cure your parents, I promise.”
***
Harry was waiting for a lift at the Ministry when he saw Luna Lovegood wandering across the reception area toward him.
“Luna! How are you doing? I haven’t seen you since the end of the war!”
“Harry!” she cried, smiling happily. “What brings you to the Ministry? Do you have an infestation of -” She bit her tongue, but Harry didn’t seem to notice.
“No, I’m meeting Tonks for lunch. I think she still wants me to be an Auror, but it’s all clean-up at this point, and I’m having too much fun right now playing Quidditch. What are you doing here?”
“Oh, well, I work here now.”
Harry’s eyes widened for a second, then his expression went back to normal. “Really? I hadn’t heard. What are you doing? Tonks would have told me if you were an Auror.”
“Oh, this and that. I can’t really talk about it here. Would you like to have dinner with me?”
Harry paused again. “Um, sure, that sounds like fun. We can catch up on what’s been going on since the war. Meet you at the The Three Broomsticks around 7?”
Luna nodded, her smile bright and eager. Her fingers fiddled with the strap of her bag, and she lowered her gaze before replying. “I’ll see you then. I’ve got to get going, Harry, but I’m looking forward to tonight.” With that, she walked into the waiting lift and closed its door behind her before Harry had time to react.
Harry shook his head slightly, then settled in to wait for the lift once more.
***
“Severus, we’re running low on dried nettles, sneezewort and Valerian roots. Will you add those to the next ingredients order?” Remus ran a quill down a long roll of parchment, checking inventory behind the counter. He looked up when Snape didn’t reply. Snape was rubbing his forehead with his left hand, looking worried, but a snarl quickly appeared when he saw that Remus was looking at him.
“Fine! I’ll add them to the list. Along with all the other ingredients I need to keep this place running! And I’ll just pull the Galleons out of my arse while I’m at it!”
With that, Snape swept out of the front of the shop, shutting the door to the back room with a loud crash. Remus stood up and followed him.
“Severus, what’s going on? The shop isn’t doing that poorly, is it?” He winced when Snape glared at him. “Okay, so it is. What are we going to do about it?”
“We aren’t going to do anything. I will figure out how to pay for the potions ingredients for my shop.”
Remus nodded. He knew that Snape’s source for ingredients was easily charging him twice what other customers paid and getting away with it. No one else would sell to Snape, so there was little choice. But Snape would soon be unable to afford what he needed, putting the potions shop at risk of closing.
“Have you thought about talking to Neville? I hear he’s opened up a herbology business.”
Remus didn’t think it possible, but Snape’s face grew even more red with anger as he started shouting. “Do you honestly think I’d buy my ingredients from that halfwit who might as well be a Squib? Not having to interact with incompetent nincompoops such as that boy is the only thing that helps me get through my day!”
Remus waited for Snape to stop yelling. “Be that as it may, the fact remains that you don’t have enough Galleons to keep the shop open for another two months at this rate. You have to do something, or you’ll lose this shop and everything you’ve put into it.”
He didn’t have to tell Snape that he had as much to lose if the shop went under. For the first time in ages, he didn’t have the look of a man who worried about where his next meal might come from or if he’d have somewhere to sleep. Not to mention, he seemed to enjoy working with the potions and putting his some of his many skills to work.
Snape looked at him, seeing the look on Lupin’s face, and the anger drained out of him. “You’re right, you bloody werewolf. But I will deny it if you ever tell anyone I said that.”
Remus started to smile, but quickly hid it behind a cough. In the few weeks since he had taken the assistant’s job, the two men had worked long hours together, brewing potions, running the shop and working on Snape’s spellwork in between customers. Snape still was his unpleasant self for the most part, but Lupin had seen cracks in his misanthropic mask start to emerge. He wasn’t about to jeopardize that now.
“So, when would you like to contact Neville?”
Snape smirked. “We should drop by and talk to the brat tomorrow.”
June 4, 1999
A crack sounded through the house, and Hermione Apparated in the middle of the room. “Neville, what’s going on? Your Owl sounded urgent - I was in the middle of a meeting with a Ministry official, so this better be good.” She stopped when she noticed his chalk-white face. “Oh, Neville, is it your Gran?” She rushed over to him.
Neville was sitting in an overstuffed chair, a piece of parchment dangling from his fingertips. He slowly handed it to her without a word. Hermione read over it, heaved a sigh of relief, then glanced at Neville.
“He’s not your professor anymore, you know. There’s nothing he can do to you now.”
“Hermione, I can’t do this! He wants to come talk to me this afternoon about buying potions ingredients - something that would imply having to see the man more than once. The day that man left Hogwarts was one of the best days of my life - I am very much content to never see him another day in my life.”
She studied Neville for a minute, then nodded. “Okay, if that’s what you want. But he’ll just know you’re scared of him - do you really want to give him that satisfaction again?”
He dragged his hands down his face, then looked up at her, his chin resting on his fingertips. “You’re right. There’s no reason I should still be scared of him, I suppose.” He paused doubtfully, then smiled sweetly at her. “Will you stay here this afternoon, though?”
Hermione grinned, then walked over and sat on his lap and proceeded to make him forget about his impending appointment.
***
“You said he’s living with that insufferable know-it-all? How in Salazar’s name did that happen?” Snape grimaced as he walked up the steps to Neville and Hermione’s flat with Lupin.
“Well, they got together not long after Ron was killed in the attack on Hogsmeade. Harry was off hunting Horcruxes and not around, and I think Hermione needed someone to help her through that. After that, it just sort of … worked.” Remus winked at Severus. “Besides, I think she needs someone to boss around, and Neville doesn’t mind being told what to do, for the most part.”
“Fates forbid they should ever procreate - their children would have her attitude and his ineptitude.”
“Severus, really. You are going to have to hold your tongue if you want to enter into a business partnership with the boy. I blame his problems in your class on your scaring the boy witless. He was always an outstanding herbology student.”
Severus grimaced again, then knocked lightly on the door. A few moments later, Hermione opened the door wide and threw her arms around Remus.
“I didn’t know you’d be here today! I haven’t seen you in so long! How are you doing?” Hermione stepped back and smiled with delight at her former professor.
“Severus asked me to come along. I’ve been helping him out at the shop, and he just decided he couldn’t bear to be without me today.” Remus winked at her with a wolfish grin, then glanced at Severus, who was fuming. Hermione glanced nervously at Snape, then ushered the two men inside.
“Neville, Professors Lupin and Snape are here.” Hermione walked ahead of the men into the living room.
Neville stood up to greet the two men. “Professor Lupin, P-professor Snape, it’s good to see you again. Please, have a seat. Would you like any tea? It’s a blend from my greenhouses.”
Lupin accepted a cup of tea with a smile, then nudged Snape sharply in the ribs to make him do the same.
An awkward silence filled the room.
“So, professors, you wanted to talk to us about potions ingredients?” Hermione asked brightly, pulling out lists of ingredients and prices that Neville had prepared.
“Yes, we’re looking for a reliable source of high-quality ingredients, and I know that you were always outstanding in the greenhouse, Neville.” Lupin smiled at the boy, trying to ease his obvious nervousness. With that, Hermione and Lupin started haggling over prices, with Neville and Snape conspicuously quiet throughout.
Lupin knew what sort of markup they were able to afford; at the same time, he knew that Neville was just starting out and could put himself in a jam if he offered the ingredients at those prices.
After Lupin and Hermione reached an embarrassed impasse, the room was silent for a moment. Then Neville suddenly spoke directly to Snape, his voice oddly calm.
“I’ll give the ingredients to you for one percent over cost.”
Hermione and Lupin gasped quietly, while Snape’s eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“What’s the catch, boy?”
“I want you to find a cure for my parents.”
The room went still.
Snape spoke slowly, considering his words. “There’s no guarantee I could find a cure. Wizards have been working on one for that for decades.”
“But you haven’t been working on it. And as much of a bastard as you are, you’re damn good at potions.”
Snape’s nostrils flared in anger, but a quick glance at Lupin stilled whatever biting remark might have come next.
“Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll work on a cure for your parents.”
Now Neville’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “To the best of your ability, you swear?”
Snape snorted. “You have my word, boy. Just don’t think you can renege on your end of the bargain if a cure can’t be found.”
With that, he stood up and swept out of the living room, heading to the door to Apparate back to the potions shop. Remus took a few moments to say goodbye, then walked quickly to catch up to Snape.
As soon as they were gone, Neville, who had been tense and sitting up straight as a rod, slumped back in his chair in relief, the courage draining out of him.
“Neville, I’m so proud of you! Although, I bet you could have charged them a bit more and he still would have agreed!”
Neville looked at Hermione oddly. “Don’t you realize, Hermione? I would give them the ingredients for free if it means Professor Snape will find a cure for my parents.”
June 21, 1999
“I can’t believe you called the man a bastard! I wish I could have been there to see the look on his face!” Harry crowed with laughter, nearly knocking his butterbeer over in his mirth.
Neville smiled, taking another sip of his drink and looking around The Three Broomsticks. He and Harry had tried to meet up at least once a month since the war ended, to catch up on each others’ lives and stay in touch. After the prophecies came out, Harry and Neville had grown a lot closer, once Neville realized how close he had come to being in Harry’s shoes.
Now, Harry was still chortling with laughter and wiping the tears away from under his glasses. Neville finally started laughing as well. “Okay, so yeah, it is kind of funny now. But I was certain the man was going to hex me into eternity at the time!”
The boys calmed down finally and sat for a bit, drinking their butterbeers in companionable silence.
“So, Harry, what’s going on with you and Luna? Hermione tells me that you two are dating?”
Harry shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not sure what we’re doing has a label, exactly. We’ve been out to dinner a few times, hung out some … I’m not sure what’s going on.” He took another sip of his drink. “She’s hard to read, you know. Always has been. Bloody girls, right?”
Neville smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I hear you, mate. But I just nod and smile, and that seems to work just fine with Hermione.”
Harry laughed. “Yeah, well, you’ll never have a hard time figuring Hermione out. If she thinks you’re too slow to pick up on something, she’s not afraid to tell you exactly what’s what. I don’t envy you, my friend.”
Neville laughed and nodded. “So how did you and Luna get together, anyway? I hadn’t heard anything about her until now.”
Harry paused, then looked Neville in the eye. “Can you keep a secret, mate?” Neville frowned, then nodded. “Luna’s been working for the Ministry since the end of the war. They recruited her for the Department of Mysteries - she’s an Unspeakable.”
Neville’s eyes widened. “Wow. I never would have thought she’d end up in the Ministry, let alone an Unspeakable!”
“Yeah, it’s pretty neat, actually. Know how everyone used to make fun of her for being daft and believing in stuff no one else could see? Well, turns out, some of that stuff is actually real, and her job is to find out as much as she can about the creatures.”
Neville’s eyes got even bigger, then he started laughing again. “Who would have thought this, Harry? That I’d be calling Snape a bastard someday, and Luna would turn out to be completely sane?”
The bartender groaned inwardly at the two wizards howling loudly at the other end of the bar, hoping he wouldn’t have to throw them out again.
June 30, 1999
Lupin hunched over the lab counter in the back of the potions shop, stirring a bubbling cauldron. Snape came up behind him silently, deposited a goblet at his elbow, then started to walk off.
“What’s this, Severus?”
“Don’t think I hadn’t noticed your four-day absence after the full moon last month. I can’t have that happening every month - I don’t know whose Wolfsbane potion you took last month, but it must have been worthless if you needed four days to recuperate. I’ll have your next dose tomorrow.”
Snape shifted uncomfortably at the look on Lupin’s face.
“Severus, I don’t know what to say … how did you …” Lupin let the question go unasked.
Snape started to turn away, then looked back at Lupin. “I can use some wandless magic when I have to.” He turned to walk away again, but Lupin caught him by the arm.
“Severus … thank you. You have no idea what this means to me, truly.” Snape looked down at where Lupin’s hand met bare flesh on his wrist, and his mouth worked soundlessly. After a few seconds, he pulled his arm away as if burned, then nodded and fled. Lupin looked down at his hand, rubbing at it thoughtfully as he pondered the warmth spreading through his body.
Lupin finished up the potions he was working on, giving Snape time to think. After cleaning up, he picked up the goblet Snape had brought him, steeling himself for the awful taste, then took a large swallow. He nearly spit it out again, but managed to control himself in time.
He stared down at the goblet strangely, then finished off the rest of the potion, smiling as the taste of peppermint lingered in his mouth.
Lupin walked into the front of the potions shop, which had closed for the day. Snape was unpacking a parcel of green leafy plants by hand, muttering as he pulled each one out of the tiny magicked box. With each plant he pulled out, he muttered a bit louder, examining the leaves closely.
“Is something wrong with the shipment?” Lupin asked Snape, startling him.
“What? Yes, there’s something wrong with the shipment! Look at this! The leaves look as if something has been chewing on them! That bloody boy sent me infested plants! It’s on his head - this is one of the ingredients I need for the experiment I’m working on for his parents. If it doesn’t work, it’s his incompetence, not mine!”
Lupin leaned over to look. “I think it’ll be okay … look, only certain leaves look chewed. Tear them off and use the rest of the plant - it shouldn’t affect the outcome.”
Snape looked put out at having his rant silenced by such practicality, but he stopped muttering. Lupin joined him as he started pulling leaves off, and Snape kept shooting him indecipherable looks every so often. When they finished, Lupin gathered his outer robes and went to leave for the night, but stopped at the last moment as if he had forgotten something.
“Severus, would you like to join me for dinner tonight?”
Snape looked up in surprise, the collected himself, trying to ignore the increase in his heartbeat at the werewolf’s offer.
“Yes, I think I’d like that.”
***
“ … so I think that the trauma and pain of the prolonged Cruciatus Curse caused lasting tremors in the minds of the victims - vibrations if you will - that are so violent and frequent that the victims are ‘frozen’, only occasionally able to move or communicate. If I could find something that will slow down the tremors, I think I could effect a cure.”
Remus had stopped eating and was watching Snape talk animatedly, describing his theories about the Longbottoms’ condition. “So, how did you come to this conclusion?”
Snape’s eyes clouded for a moment. “Cruciatus was a favorite of the Dark - Voldemort, when his followers failed him. I was on the receiving end often enough to know some of the lasting effects. When it would go on for long enough, I would have tremors and shakes for days afterward. And it occurred to me the other night that when something vibrates fast enough, it appears to be frozen in place. So if I could find a way to slow down the vibrations …”
Snape broke off as he noticed that Remus was watching him with a mix of sympathy and appreciation. “That sounds like a good working theory. I’m just sorry you had to know that pain to come to that conclusion.” He reached across the table and took Snape’s good hand in his own. “Thank you for telling me.”
Snape squirmed uncomfortably for a moment, but he didn’t pull his hand away. He decided to change the subject.
“So, what ever happened to you and that Metamophagus?”
Remus flinched visibly, then pulled his hand away. “You knew about that? It seems so long ago.” He took a sip of his water, then cleared his throat.
“I had very strong feelings for Tonks - and I tried to make it work. She was there for me, and she didn’t seem to care that I turned into a monster one day a month. So I took advantage of the situation - I was lonely, and I did care about her. But I was never going to love her, not the way she loved me. I tried to push her away … but in the end, I hurt her. Very badly. I didn’t have a choice.”
Snape, paying keen attention to Lupin’s words, raised his eyebrow in question. Lupin met his gaze, then made a visible decision to keep talking.
“You have to understand, I was already set apart from everyone else. I was a werewolf. I didn’t need another reason for everyone to look at me differently. So I tried to make it work with her - but in the end, it wasn’t fair. I would never be attracted to her … not the way I’m attracted to other men.”
Snape’s eyes widened for a fleeting instant, but he nodded as if it confirmed his suspicions. Remus had looked away during his last statement, and he slowly looked at Snape out of the corner of his eyes, trying to gauge his reaction. Slowly, hesitantly, Snape reached out and took Lupin’s hand again. Lupin smiled, then changed the subject, trying to clear the sudden tension in the air.
“So, how far along on a working potion are you?”
Snape took up the threads of their previous conversation gladly.
“Well, I think I’ve got the base for the potion ready, I just need to figure out the last few ingredients and how they need to be added. That infested bunch of plants that Longbottom sent me are ones known for their calming, almost soporific effect. I’ve brewed several batches of the potion using various amounts and methods, and it should be ready to test tomorrow. I’ve Crucioed a bunch of transfigured rats to use as test subjects.”
“Let me know what I can do to help - I’ve caught up on most of the potions orders for the shop,” Remus replied. Snape pulled his hand away at that.
“I don’t need any help with this. I told the boy I’d do it, and I’ll do it.” With that, Snape sulked for the rest of the dinner in silence, leaving Remus to sit there in stunned confusion.
***
Snape looked into one of the many cauldrons set up in the lab, checking it to make sure it was still at a slow boil and the temperature was steady. After he had checked the last concoction, he looked around the room for something else to occupy his thoughts.
What the hell was he thinking, opening up to that bloody werewolf? For a moment, he had even thought that Remus understood, had been interested, but then the werewolf had reminded him that he was only around to help out with the things that he couldn’t do with one useless arm.
He paced around the room, muttering to himself. Remus had needed a job; that was the only reason he was still here, he reminded himself. He didn’t care about Snape, and he certainly wasn’t interested. What was he thinking, taking the man’s hand like that?
He pulled out his wand with his left hand and aimed it at the nearest empty jar. It exploded with a satisfying bang, sprinkling glass pieces over the lab floor. He waved his wand again, to clean up the pieces. Nothing happened. He tried again, but the glass sparkled on the floor, winking and laughing at him.
With a muffled roar of anger, he Apparated home, leaving the glass for Lupin to clean up in the morning.
***
Lupin left the restaurant, shaken after Snape had left without a word of goodbye. He had thought things were going well - the man was finally starting to open up to him, and he seemed to understand what Lupin’s confession had meant. But then he had put up his wall again, and Lupin was going over their conversation in his head, trying to figure out what he had said.
He had walked for a while, lost in his thoughts, and somehow he ended up at Harry’s flat without realizing it. He shrugged, then knocked, not wanting to go home yet.
Harry came to the door and opened it a crack, looking flustered. “Professor Lupin, hey, what are you doing here? I mean … I’m glad to see you and all, but it is kind of late …”
Lupin didn’t seem to notice his agitation, as lost in his thoughts of dinner as he was. “I just thought I’d stop by and see how you were doing. And honestly, I just didn’t want to go home yet.”
Harry realized something was up, and he glanced behind him, then opened the door a bit wider. “Alright, come on in,” he said, with a touch of regret. As Lupin walked in, he saw Luna Lovegood sitting on the couch, and as he noticed that the buttons were not quite lined up on her blouse, he realized what he had walked in on. His face turned a bright shade of pink as he tried to think of a way to leave again quickly.
“Hello, Luna! I’m sorry, Harry, I didn’t realize you had company - I’ll visit some other time to catch up.” Remus backed away toward the door, determined to give Harry his privacy.
“Remus, don’t be silly. Come sit down, and Harry can fix us all some tea,” Luna said, with no hint of embarrassment in her voice.
Harry scurried off to the kitchen, and Remus took a seat near Luna. “I’m truly sorry to have interrupted … anything. I was out for a walk and somehow found myself here.”
Luna nodded wisely. “Your feet knew where you needed to be, even if you didn’t. You seem upset. What’s wrong?” Her straightforward, blunt manner somehow put Remus at ease, and he found himself spilling the whole story out to her.
After he had stopped talking, she looked at him for a moment, her blue eyes seeming to pierce through to what he hadn’t told her.
“So, you have feelings for Professor Snape?”
Remus’ eyes widened, but he didn’t deny it. He sat for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts, when Harry walked in with tea for everyone.
“Please don’t tell me that I just heard Luna ask you if you have feelings for Snape, professor.”
Luna looked at him sharply, and he shrugged his shoulders. “What? I mean, yeah, he turned out to be good and helped me defeat Voldemort and all that mess, but he’s still … greasy!”
Remus burst out laughing at that. And kept laughing, so long that even Luna looked concerned.
“Harry, you are completely right. He is still greasy, and he might even be more ornery than he was as your professor. But … it’s hard to explain.” Remus grew serious. “We’re both … we’re both kind of dark and twisty, and we understand each other. Or, at least, I thought he understood me. But after tonight … I’m not sure what I said that upset him so much.”
Luna looked at him in surprise. “Oh, I thought you knew that. Remus, it’s not hard to figure out that Professor Snape is still upset about not being able to use his arm. And when you mentioned that you would like to help him, it reminded him of his disability. He’s a proud man - I figured that out on the first day of class. It’s probably extremely hard for him to accept help - I would feel honored that he has let you in this far.”
Remus was astounded at her insight. Of course that’s what it was - it made complete sense, when she put it like that. He knew how proud the git could be.
“Luna, you might be my new favorite person.” He stood up and gave her a hug, then hurried to the door. “Talk to you later, Harry,” he called without a backward glance. As soon as he was out the door, he Apparated away.
Harry looked a bit boggled by the last few moments, but he protested as Remus left with a loud crack. “Well, how do you like that?”
Luna smiled and reached over, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him toward her. “Hush, Harry.”
July 28, 1999
“What the bloody hell am I doing wrong?” Snape growled, then flipped through his parchments yet again, looking for the missing link.
Remus looked over at him from where he was working on some basic potions, but he didn’t say anything. Tensions had been high since their dinner together weeks before, and though Remus had tried to bring it up several times, Snape had refused to talk about it. So, for now, Remus was giving him his space.
“What are you looking at? Don’t just stand there with that blasted blank look on your face, come over here and tell me what I’m doing wrong!”
Lupin’s eyes widened in surprise, but he walked over, not willing to give up this chance to talk to Severus again.
“What’s the problem? I thought you were making good headway on the potion …”
“I was. I am! That’s the bloody problem. I’ve found a variation that seems to work, and I can’t replicate it!”
“You’ve found a cure? Severus, that’s amazing!” Lupin’s voice held a note of awe in it.
“It’s not amazing, it’s nothing unless I can reproduce the potion. I took notes, copious amounts of notes. And I’m doing exactly what I did before - but it doesn’t work.”
Remus looked over at Snape, then smiled. “Well, if you’ve done it once, you’re bound to be able to do it again. Where should we start?”
And just like that, the tension was gone, and the two men were working together in perfect sync for the rest of the night.
July 30, 1999
Lupin and Snape were sitting in chairs in the potions lab, staring at the cauldrons with bloodshot eyes.
“I don’t understand what we’re doing wrong.” Lupin looked over at Snape, repeating the sentiment again. “We’ve tried everything, every variation again on that potion. We must be missing something.”
The two men sat in silence, trying to think of what else they could try, minds dazed from a lack of sleep.
Suddenly, Snape sat up. “That’s it! We are missing something! The plants Neville sent me were infested! What if we missed one of whatever was infesting them? What if it was never the plant in the first place, but whatever creature it was that was drawn to them?”
Remus looked over at Snape in dawning realization. “We have to go to Neville’s right now, and hope he hasn’t finished cleaning out whatever infested those plants in the first place.”
With that, the two men jumped up and looked at each other in excitement. “I think we’ve got it!” Snape yelled, then grabbed Lupin in a sudden embrace. He froze for a moment, realizing what he had just done, then smiled at the astonished man in front of him. He grabbed Lupin’s hand, and they Apparated to the steps of Neville and Hermione’s flat. Snape knocked loudly, continuously, until Neville opened the door with a frown on his face.
Snape swept past Neville, dragging Lupin with him. “Where are your greenhouses, boy? Now!” He yelled as Neville started to stammer out a hesitant reply.
As he walked into the dining room on the way through the house, he was brought up short by the sight of Hermione, Luna, and Harry sitting at the table, a large birthday cake in the center of the table.
“What’s going on, Professors?” Harry asked, noting the anxious, bloodshot eyes of the two men.
“Neville, that plant you sent us, the one that was infested with some creature - do you still have any that’s showing the same signs of infestation?” Lupin quickly asked, realizing that Snape was too keyed up to offer any explanation.
“Yes, but I’ve never been able to find out what was infesting it - I’ve tried all kinds of methods of killing it, magical and otherwise, but the signs are still there. But I’ve never seen anything in it.”
Luna perked up. “What kind of plant is it, Neville?”
“It’s a variety of wormwood - its odor is usually enough to drive off any pests, which is why I was surprised to see the signs of something getting into it.”
Luna had stopped listening when she heard wormwood. Her eyes grew glazed as she tried to remember something, then sharpened back into focus. “There is one pest that is attracted to wormwood - nargles. But they’re invisible, which is why you wouldn’t have seen it.”
Snape glared at Luna. “This is not the time for your fantasy creatures, girl! Nargles. Do. Not. Exist.” She just stared blithely at him, not bothering to contradict him.
“Um, Professor? She could be right … ,” Harry said, trying to ignore the look on Snape’s face. “She … has experience with creatures the rest of us don’t always see, and if she says there are nargles, I’m inclined to believe her.”
Snape, paused, then looked at Luna. It made an odd sort of sense. He had never seen anything in the plants he used, but something wasn’t there that had been there in the successful variation. “Alright girl, so how would one prove that there is something there?”
She smiled, then got up and gestured for them to follow her out to Neville’s greenhouse.
***
The lab in the back of his potions store was crowded with chattering, excited young people, and Snape could barely hear himself think. He tried to shut everything out as he murmured a few words to uncork the bottle of nargles that Luna had gathered for him. She had told him that these were ones that had died of natural causes, leaving their dried husks at the base of the wormwood. He couldn’t see them, but he trusted her after Harry had told him what she had been doing all these months.
He finished mixing the nargles in, then followed his notes to finish the potion. Three stirs clockwise, then nine counterclockwise. That should do it. He decanted some of the potion into a bottle and magicked a stopper into it, not bothering to use his wand for the moment.
He grabbed a dropper and filled it with a few drops of the potion, and walked over to where his transfigured rats were caged. He gave the potion to one of the still rats, then watched apprehensively. After a few moments, the rat began to twitch and move, and within a few minutes, it was up and grooming itself in the corner.
Snape carried the stoppered bottle over to Neville and handed it to the boy.
“Here. I think you’ll find that this satisfies my end of the bargain. Give your parents each a few drops every hour until it shows signs of working. It will take longer than the rat did - wizard metabolism is quite a bit slower.”
“If this works, Professor Snape …” Neville’s eyes glittered excitedly.
“It will work, you bloody fool.” But the harsh words weren’t backed up with any bite, and Snape’s face might have been mistaken for compassionate. Neville took the bottle from Snape quickly and threw his arms around his former Potions master in a hug. Without giving Snape time to react, he grabbed Hermione’s arm and they Apparated to the hospital, Harry and Luna not far behind.
“A hug from Neville bloody Longbottom? What is the world coming to? Voldemort coming back with thing for kittens and bloody rainbows?” Snape grimaced and wiped his hands down the front of his robe. Lupin grinned at him, a grin that slowly faded as Snape finally looked at him. Snape composed his face into an unreadable mask.
“Well, if the potion does work, I suppose you won’t need to work here anymore.” Snape’s words were strangely calm. He’d let Remus go without a fight, if that was what he wanted.
Lupin frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“The potion is enough to make us both rich - surely you’ve realized that? So you’ll have enough to live comfortably on for quite some time. You can go wherever you want.”
“Are you out of your bloody mind? Do you think I’d leave you just because I have a little bit of money? You don’t know me at all, then, Severus.” Lupin’s eyes were blazing. “I can’t believe you think so little of me.”
“Remus … I … There’s no reason to stay with me now. You don’t need me -- I’m a broken, scarred old man. What good is a wizard with one bloody useless arm? I’ll never be whole …”
Lupin’s eyes softened, and for a moment, Snape felt a strange emotion rising up in him. Is that really hope? It’s been so long … .
“You bloody fool. I don’t care about that.”
Snape took a deep breath, then dropped all of his defenses and looked down into the other man’s eyes. “I’ve been an idiot, Remus. I’ve used my arm as an excuse to not move on and get past the war and everything that happened. And … to keep you from getting closer to me than you already are.” Snape smiled faintly. “Do you think you could get past the greasy hair and the scars, and … care about someone like me?”
Remus moved closer to Snape, reaching out to hold his limp hand with both of his strong ones. His eyes held Snape’s as he leaned forward to kiss him softly. “I need you, greasy hair and all. And I promise to be your right arm for as long as you need me.” Snape smiled, a real smile, for the first time in many years, and he moved into the other man’s arms.
Fin
** Author’s note: All apologies to Awakenings and Medicine Man for inspiring certain plot devices. They did it much better, and I’m not making any money off of this, so I think they’ll forgive me.