Unexpected Destinies Chapter 153
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,566
Summary: Dean copes with the fallout of his argument with Sam with a little help from his husband.
PRESENT
Sam's parting words made Dean see red and the urge to turn around and just deck his brother rose within him but instead he gritted his teeth and ignored it, storming off as he'd intended to before his brother had uttered them. He resolutely walked right past Bobby, thundering down the stairs and walking out the front door straight past his grandfather and Gwen, not so much as acknowledging their questions or worried looks. Sam had raised his voice enough for them to know exactly what was going on and he had absolutely no desire to talk to any of them right now. He just couldn't deal with them as well as all of the pain, anger and betrayal he felt ripping through him.
Apparently his brother could still hurt him better than he thought Sam could.
The revelation wasn't a pleasant one and Dean made a beeline for the Impala and gunned her engine as soon as he was inside his baby, tearing away from the Campbell compound in a spray of gravel and rock salt. How was it that Sam just managed to worm his way right past most of his defenses and tear him apart from the inside out? He knew that his brother wouldn't like everything that had happened in the past year and yet Sam's words still cut him in a way he hadn't expected or imagined possible anymore.
There was a flutter of wings and then Castiel was in the passenger seat beside him. Dean didn't even need to look over to know that it was his husband, he just knew because of the bond. He kept his eyes looking straight ahead, not wanting to look at his angel in rage even if it wasn't directed at Castiel. It was stupid but he just didn't want to do it. Instead he clenched his hands even tighter around the wheel and sped on at nearly twice the speed limit.
Any doubts that Dean'd had about Castiel understanding his mood instantly vanished when, instead of trying to talk to him or feel hurt by his lack of acknowledgement of his husband's presence, his angel merely brought one set of wings up through his seat to gently cradle his back, offering silent support. In addition, the only thing to come across their bond was love and comfort. Just beyond that he could sense his husband's own anger and desire to hold him, but it was being held at bay and for that he was extremely grateful. That his angel would physically comfort him was never in doubt, but he really felt that he needed to work through this anger on his own first as he didn't want it to fester and taint their interaction, not that it could cause any damage, but damnit he just didn't want to look at the one being who meant more to him than anyone else with that kind of emotion.
His arms were shaking, Dean suddenly realized. Whether it was because of his anger or the hurt, he wasn't sure, but it was definitely there and he refused to let his mind simply gloss over that fact. It didn't really matter which of the two emotions was responsible for it just that both could be, or it could even be a combination of the two. But it was one of those three options and all of them were Sam's fault.
Dean gritted his teeth and clenched the steering wheel hard enough to bruise. Sure, he'd known that coming here would be no cake walk and that there'd be rough patches, especially with his brother, he just hadn't been adequately prepared for the emotional punch and fallout of the situation. He'd gotten spoiled spending so long with just his three archangels where the worst that had happened in a long time were minor arguments that were more like squabbles than anything else. Yeah, he and Raphael'd had their share of more heated arguments, but that had been before they'd become friends so that extra emotional punch simply hadn't been there. With Sam however...
With Sam it was different, always had been and always would be Dean now realized. Sure, he could learn to live without his brother and even be happy, exquisitely so in point of fact, but in the end Sam would always be able to wound him like no one else could. Well, not like no one else could, but rather than like anyone else ever would because the only other people capable of hurting him worse than his brother simply never would.
Of that Dean had absolutely no doubts.
The thought helped to calm Dean a little and he tried to look at what had happened a little more objectively. Truth be told, he'd been struggling ever since he'd first laid eyes on his brother in the hallway upstairs where they'd had their blowout just now. Sam had appeared so unexpectedly, clearly just out of bed, disheveled and sleep mused like he'd seen his brother a million times over the years and looking so much like the little boy that Sam had once been that it had blindsided him a little. It had allowed Sam to slip in under his guard, though that wouldn't have been all that difficult regardless because even though he was now aware of how Sam had always treated him, there was still that instinctual desire to allow his brother close. He'd just have to redouble his efforts in that area clearly.
That and he would also have to ensure that he took some time either to himself or to spend with one of his archangels. Dean knew that any of them would be able to help him relax and wind down, though to distinctly different degrees, of course. The thought was soothing and he felt himself relax a little and considered himself merely angry now instead of the enraged or furious from earlier. It was better but he was still a long way from where he wanted to be. Because of that he didn't look over when Castiel moved beside him. He didn't need to though to be able to tell what his husband was doing, not with the distinctive sound of his box of cassette tapes being picked up and sorted through. His curiosity was peaked and he frowned a little as he tried to figure out what his angel was up to.
The moment that Castiel had found the tape he sought and carefully (Dean saw it out of the corner of his eyes) inserted it into the player, he couldn't help but laugh as the familiar music began to blare through the speakers. It was the tape that he always listened to when pissed off but hadn't thought to put on now. Blindly he reached out and captured his husband's hand, intertwining their fingers and resting them on the seat between them as the Impala faithfully continued to eat up the miles.
Between the soothing and familiar rhythm of his childhood and the loving support of his husband, Dean's anger slowly began to fade and as it died down, so did his need for speed. Over the course of the next fifty or so miles, he slowed the Impala further and further until they were actually going well below the speed limit, so he steered his baby over to the side of the road before he actually got pulled over for holding up traffic. There he killed the engine before he finally turned to face his husband.
"Thanks, Cas," Dean said gratefully, allowing himself to be pulled close for the embrace that his angel could no longer resist giving him.
"I can take you back home if you want," Castiel offered. "You do not need to stay with them, the spell will not be adversely affected if you leave between sessions."
"No, thanks, really, but I still think that it's best for me to remain with them for the duration of the spell. It's only Sam that's the problem, things are actually going really well with all of the others."
"Bobby and Samuel genuinely care for you and your cousin seems to be open to giving you a fair chance."
"Yeah, Gwen's been cool so far though she seems to have a hidden propensity for chick flick moments if her taste in movies is anything to go by."
"Is this not to be expected given that she is in fact a... chick?"
Dean snorted before he gave in and laughed, knowing that his husband wouldn't mind. He just loved it when Castiel attempted to use slang as it never quite worked out right and was always guaranteed to make him smile at the very least. Now that he thought about it for a moment, he couldn't help but wonder if that wasn't exactly why his angel never got any better at it unlike how he did with most other things he wasn't so good at.
"Am I wrong?" Castiel inquired patiently, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back.
"No, you're probably onto something actually. I just saw her as a hunter first and didn't stop to think of her as a chick. Which is kinda sad really. You've obviously got me whipped as, family or no, there's no way I'd have missed that fact before."
A confused head tilt. "Whipped?"
"It's generally used to mean a guy who's been tamed of his wild ways by a woman. Whipped into shape as it were."
"Ah, I see. Well in that case it is true, I do have you whipped."
"Hey!" Dean mock protested, poking his bond mate in the ribs. "You do realize that makes you the chick in this scenario, right?"
Castiel merely shrugged as if it were no big deal and Dean supposed that for his angel it really wasn't. When your gender was almost exclusively determined by your vessel, it couldn't really be all that important, especially without all of the human connotations that went with it all. He couldn't help but wonder if things would have gone differently between them if Jimmy had been born Jamie. Would he have realized his attraction to his husband sooner? Most probably though he'd almost certainly have viewed it as purely sexual at first which could have ruined everything if he'd acted on the impulse too soon and he shuddered at the thought.
"Dean?"
"'s nothing, just a random thought I had. You know how my mind works."
"Mm, not nearly as well as I would like to know it."
Dean frowned. "What you implying?"
"That it will take far more time than I've had to fully understand everything that goes on in your head. Every time I think I know you, you do something to prove me wrong."
"But that's a good thing, right? I mean you wouldn't want any boring, easily understood and predictable human, now would you?"
"I don't want any other human, regardless of their mental faculties or other attributes and capabilities."
And there Castiel went again with the unabashed emotional bombs. How easily his husband always managed to say them would never cease to amaze Dean even if they no longer surprised him or made him want to squirm until the earth opened up and swallowed him whole, though he doubted that he'd ever lose the tendency to duck his head when they were delivered. Now though he could raise his head, meet those blue eyes and smile at his angel, acknowledging that he knew they were nothing but the pure, absolute truth on Castiel's part.
"Love you," Dean said, still thrilled at how easily those words were coming to him these days.
It figured that they would, though, now that he didn't really have such a need for them anymore, not with the existence of the bond. At least Dean didn't need them in order to convey the sentiment and emotion to his husband, but he knew how much Castiel loved to hear him say them regardless. He wouldn't be surprised if the reason for that was precisely because his angel knew what it meant for him to speak them aloud.
In response, Dean was pulled close once more and he went easily, curling into it and tucking his head beneath his husband's chin.
"And I you," Castiel replied softly, cocooning them in his wings.
Dean wasn't quite sure how long they stayed like that, wrapped around each other in the front seat of the Impala along some unknown highway, but he didn't care either. He could easily stay like this forever.
"Do you recall that ice cream I brought you a few months ago that you enjoyed so much?" Castiel eventually asked.
"That really good stuff? Yeah, of course. Why?"
"I got it from a place not too far from here. I don't suppose that you're interested in getting any now?"
"Dude, why didn't you mention we were close to there before?"
"Because we were not particularly close to it then."
At those words Dean sat up and looked at his baby's odometer before he glanced out at the road signs further down the road. Oh, apparently it had taken him longer to calm down than he'd thought. Well either that or he'd been going even faster than he'd thought that he was as they really were quite a ways from the Campbell compound.
Oops. "Sorry about that," Dean apologized, sheepishly.
"You have nothing to apologize for, I chose to be here with you."
"And I appreciate it, it was a big help. So, how do we get to the ice cream?"
/
By the time that they'd arrived at the park near which the ice cream parlor was located, Dean's dark mood was a thing of the past and he'd changed the tape and was singing along with Zep, much to his husband's delight if the way Castiel had been looking at him was any indication. The lack of proper parking had prompted him to pull over along a little used road deeper into the park and he'd stayed with his baby while his angel went out to get the ice cream. He'd already spotted a handy bench on which they could eat it when Castiel returned and the fact that it was located near a children's playground was not lost on him. It would be fitting and he was sure his husband would appreciate the significance of it as well. It seemed like much longer than a few short years since they'd sat together in another park, watching children play as they had their first real conversation.
Dean was taking advantage of the wait to clean the dirty back window when it happened. He'd probably been paying less attention to his surroundings than he should have been due to the relaxed nature of the stop and so he hadn't even been aware that he'd caught someone's attention until they'd already approached him, not a good thing for a hunter in general, but especially not for him given all that he was dealing with at the moment.
"Dean?"
The voice was incredulous- as if the speaker couldn't quite believe it himself- but still instantly recognizable for all of that and Dean froze in shock. No, it couldn't be, could it? But what was he doing here of all places? They were hundreds of miles from Indiana!
"Ben?"
A.N.: Sorry that this chapter is shorter and so long in coming, as the others have been lately. I've been finishing up my dc-dystopia fic and not only did it take some time (just under 25k!), but I found it hard to jump between that Dean and this one as they're so radically different (think different eye color different!). I just can't wait until I can post it!
Chapter 154
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,566
Summary: Dean copes with the fallout of his argument with Sam with a little help from his husband.
PRESENT
Sam's parting words made Dean see red and the urge to turn around and just deck his brother rose within him but instead he gritted his teeth and ignored it, storming off as he'd intended to before his brother had uttered them. He resolutely walked right past Bobby, thundering down the stairs and walking out the front door straight past his grandfather and Gwen, not so much as acknowledging their questions or worried looks. Sam had raised his voice enough for them to know exactly what was going on and he had absolutely no desire to talk to any of them right now. He just couldn't deal with them as well as all of the pain, anger and betrayal he felt ripping through him.
Apparently his brother could still hurt him better than he thought Sam could.
The revelation wasn't a pleasant one and Dean made a beeline for the Impala and gunned her engine as soon as he was inside his baby, tearing away from the Campbell compound in a spray of gravel and rock salt. How was it that Sam just managed to worm his way right past most of his defenses and tear him apart from the inside out? He knew that his brother wouldn't like everything that had happened in the past year and yet Sam's words still cut him in a way he hadn't expected or imagined possible anymore.
There was a flutter of wings and then Castiel was in the passenger seat beside him. Dean didn't even need to look over to know that it was his husband, he just knew because of the bond. He kept his eyes looking straight ahead, not wanting to look at his angel in rage even if it wasn't directed at Castiel. It was stupid but he just didn't want to do it. Instead he clenched his hands even tighter around the wheel and sped on at nearly twice the speed limit.
Any doubts that Dean'd had about Castiel understanding his mood instantly vanished when, instead of trying to talk to him or feel hurt by his lack of acknowledgement of his husband's presence, his angel merely brought one set of wings up through his seat to gently cradle his back, offering silent support. In addition, the only thing to come across their bond was love and comfort. Just beyond that he could sense his husband's own anger and desire to hold him, but it was being held at bay and for that he was extremely grateful. That his angel would physically comfort him was never in doubt, but he really felt that he needed to work through this anger on his own first as he didn't want it to fester and taint their interaction, not that it could cause any damage, but damnit he just didn't want to look at the one being who meant more to him than anyone else with that kind of emotion.
His arms were shaking, Dean suddenly realized. Whether it was because of his anger or the hurt, he wasn't sure, but it was definitely there and he refused to let his mind simply gloss over that fact. It didn't really matter which of the two emotions was responsible for it just that both could be, or it could even be a combination of the two. But it was one of those three options and all of them were Sam's fault.
Dean gritted his teeth and clenched the steering wheel hard enough to bruise. Sure, he'd known that coming here would be no cake walk and that there'd be rough patches, especially with his brother, he just hadn't been adequately prepared for the emotional punch and fallout of the situation. He'd gotten spoiled spending so long with just his three archangels where the worst that had happened in a long time were minor arguments that were more like squabbles than anything else. Yeah, he and Raphael'd had their share of more heated arguments, but that had been before they'd become friends so that extra emotional punch simply hadn't been there. With Sam however...
With Sam it was different, always had been and always would be Dean now realized. Sure, he could learn to live without his brother and even be happy, exquisitely so in point of fact, but in the end Sam would always be able to wound him like no one else could. Well, not like no one else could, but rather than like anyone else ever would because the only other people capable of hurting him worse than his brother simply never would.
Of that Dean had absolutely no doubts.
The thought helped to calm Dean a little and he tried to look at what had happened a little more objectively. Truth be told, he'd been struggling ever since he'd first laid eyes on his brother in the hallway upstairs where they'd had their blowout just now. Sam had appeared so unexpectedly, clearly just out of bed, disheveled and sleep mused like he'd seen his brother a million times over the years and looking so much like the little boy that Sam had once been that it had blindsided him a little. It had allowed Sam to slip in under his guard, though that wouldn't have been all that difficult regardless because even though he was now aware of how Sam had always treated him, there was still that instinctual desire to allow his brother close. He'd just have to redouble his efforts in that area clearly.
That and he would also have to ensure that he took some time either to himself or to spend with one of his archangels. Dean knew that any of them would be able to help him relax and wind down, though to distinctly different degrees, of course. The thought was soothing and he felt himself relax a little and considered himself merely angry now instead of the enraged or furious from earlier. It was better but he was still a long way from where he wanted to be. Because of that he didn't look over when Castiel moved beside him. He didn't need to though to be able to tell what his husband was doing, not with the distinctive sound of his box of cassette tapes being picked up and sorted through. His curiosity was peaked and he frowned a little as he tried to figure out what his angel was up to.
The moment that Castiel had found the tape he sought and carefully (Dean saw it out of the corner of his eyes) inserted it into the player, he couldn't help but laugh as the familiar music began to blare through the speakers. It was the tape that he always listened to when pissed off but hadn't thought to put on now. Blindly he reached out and captured his husband's hand, intertwining their fingers and resting them on the seat between them as the Impala faithfully continued to eat up the miles.
Between the soothing and familiar rhythm of his childhood and the loving support of his husband, Dean's anger slowly began to fade and as it died down, so did his need for speed. Over the course of the next fifty or so miles, he slowed the Impala further and further until they were actually going well below the speed limit, so he steered his baby over to the side of the road before he actually got pulled over for holding up traffic. There he killed the engine before he finally turned to face his husband.
"Thanks, Cas," Dean said gratefully, allowing himself to be pulled close for the embrace that his angel could no longer resist giving him.
"I can take you back home if you want," Castiel offered. "You do not need to stay with them, the spell will not be adversely affected if you leave between sessions."
"No, thanks, really, but I still think that it's best for me to remain with them for the duration of the spell. It's only Sam that's the problem, things are actually going really well with all of the others."
"Bobby and Samuel genuinely care for you and your cousin seems to be open to giving you a fair chance."
"Yeah, Gwen's been cool so far though she seems to have a hidden propensity for chick flick moments if her taste in movies is anything to go by."
"Is this not to be expected given that she is in fact a... chick?"
Dean snorted before he gave in and laughed, knowing that his husband wouldn't mind. He just loved it when Castiel attempted to use slang as it never quite worked out right and was always guaranteed to make him smile at the very least. Now that he thought about it for a moment, he couldn't help but wonder if that wasn't exactly why his angel never got any better at it unlike how he did with most other things he wasn't so good at.
"Am I wrong?" Castiel inquired patiently, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back.
"No, you're probably onto something actually. I just saw her as a hunter first and didn't stop to think of her as a chick. Which is kinda sad really. You've obviously got me whipped as, family or no, there's no way I'd have missed that fact before."
A confused head tilt. "Whipped?"
"It's generally used to mean a guy who's been tamed of his wild ways by a woman. Whipped into shape as it were."
"Ah, I see. Well in that case it is true, I do have you whipped."
"Hey!" Dean mock protested, poking his bond mate in the ribs. "You do realize that makes you the chick in this scenario, right?"
Castiel merely shrugged as if it were no big deal and Dean supposed that for his angel it really wasn't. When your gender was almost exclusively determined by your vessel, it couldn't really be all that important, especially without all of the human connotations that went with it all. He couldn't help but wonder if things would have gone differently between them if Jimmy had been born Jamie. Would he have realized his attraction to his husband sooner? Most probably though he'd almost certainly have viewed it as purely sexual at first which could have ruined everything if he'd acted on the impulse too soon and he shuddered at the thought.
"Dean?"
"'s nothing, just a random thought I had. You know how my mind works."
"Mm, not nearly as well as I would like to know it."
Dean frowned. "What you implying?"
"That it will take far more time than I've had to fully understand everything that goes on in your head. Every time I think I know you, you do something to prove me wrong."
"But that's a good thing, right? I mean you wouldn't want any boring, easily understood and predictable human, now would you?"
"I don't want any other human, regardless of their mental faculties or other attributes and capabilities."
And there Castiel went again with the unabashed emotional bombs. How easily his husband always managed to say them would never cease to amaze Dean even if they no longer surprised him or made him want to squirm until the earth opened up and swallowed him whole, though he doubted that he'd ever lose the tendency to duck his head when they were delivered. Now though he could raise his head, meet those blue eyes and smile at his angel, acknowledging that he knew they were nothing but the pure, absolute truth on Castiel's part.
"Love you," Dean said, still thrilled at how easily those words were coming to him these days.
It figured that they would, though, now that he didn't really have such a need for them anymore, not with the existence of the bond. At least Dean didn't need them in order to convey the sentiment and emotion to his husband, but he knew how much Castiel loved to hear him say them regardless. He wouldn't be surprised if the reason for that was precisely because his angel knew what it meant for him to speak them aloud.
In response, Dean was pulled close once more and he went easily, curling into it and tucking his head beneath his husband's chin.
"And I you," Castiel replied softly, cocooning them in his wings.
Dean wasn't quite sure how long they stayed like that, wrapped around each other in the front seat of the Impala along some unknown highway, but he didn't care either. He could easily stay like this forever.
"Do you recall that ice cream I brought you a few months ago that you enjoyed so much?" Castiel eventually asked.
"That really good stuff? Yeah, of course. Why?"
"I got it from a place not too far from here. I don't suppose that you're interested in getting any now?"
"Dude, why didn't you mention we were close to there before?"
"Because we were not particularly close to it then."
At those words Dean sat up and looked at his baby's odometer before he glanced out at the road signs further down the road. Oh, apparently it had taken him longer to calm down than he'd thought. Well either that or he'd been going even faster than he'd thought that he was as they really were quite a ways from the Campbell compound.
Oops. "Sorry about that," Dean apologized, sheepishly.
"You have nothing to apologize for, I chose to be here with you."
"And I appreciate it, it was a big help. So, how do we get to the ice cream?"
/
By the time that they'd arrived at the park near which the ice cream parlor was located, Dean's dark mood was a thing of the past and he'd changed the tape and was singing along with Zep, much to his husband's delight if the way Castiel had been looking at him was any indication. The lack of proper parking had prompted him to pull over along a little used road deeper into the park and he'd stayed with his baby while his angel went out to get the ice cream. He'd already spotted a handy bench on which they could eat it when Castiel returned and the fact that it was located near a children's playground was not lost on him. It would be fitting and he was sure his husband would appreciate the significance of it as well. It seemed like much longer than a few short years since they'd sat together in another park, watching children play as they had their first real conversation.
Dean was taking advantage of the wait to clean the dirty back window when it happened. He'd probably been paying less attention to his surroundings than he should have been due to the relaxed nature of the stop and so he hadn't even been aware that he'd caught someone's attention until they'd already approached him, not a good thing for a hunter in general, but especially not for him given all that he was dealing with at the moment.
"Dean?"
The voice was incredulous- as if the speaker couldn't quite believe it himself- but still instantly recognizable for all of that and Dean froze in shock. No, it couldn't be, could it? But what was he doing here of all places? They were hundreds of miles from Indiana!
"Ben?"
A.N.: Sorry that this chapter is shorter and so long in coming, as the others have been lately. I've been finishing up my dc-dystopia fic and not only did it take some time (just under 25k!), but I found it hard to jump between that Dean and this one as they're so radically different (think different eye color different!). I just can't wait until I can post it!
Chapter 154