Unexpected Destinies Chapter 118
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,024
Summary: Castiel arrives.
PAST
Castiel had been taking care of some routine business in Heaven, stuff that needed to be done but which didn't require a whole lot of attention as he'd done them countless times before since he'd taken over as Sheriff of Heaven, when it happened. He'd been nearing the end of his chores and had just started thinking about visiting Virgil and seeing how things were going with the preparations in the armory that he'd requested when, seemingly out of nowhere, a wave of emotions and power washed over him. It was so unexpected and powerful that he nearly staggered under the weight of it, but it wasn't at all invasive as he would have assumed that something like that would be. Instead it felt wonderful, wrapping around his Grace and caressing it like a lover would.
Although Castiel had never felt anything like it before he instantly knew who was involved as the emotion and power all felt like one person.
Dean.
If the whole thing hadn't felt so unbelievably wonderful, Castiel would have panicked, the mere thought of something happening to his mate that could generate this kind of power terrifying him, but for some reason it didn't. That was almost just as frightening and he immediately flew off towards his hunter, letting his awareness of Dean direct his hasty flight. The moment that he landed, more power washed over him, bathing his Grace in a sense of peace like that which he'd only ever felt in Heaven before, centuries before this Apocalypse had begun, back when Father had still been around and Lucifer had not yet rebelled. He felt himself instantly relaxing, though he fought it off as he didn't know what was going on or why.
Then Castiel caught sight of the candles and his mate kneeling on the floor inside a purity circle, an altar of Ru'ena before him and holding a kalsika.
An initiated kalsika.
The shock stunned Castiel speechless for a moment and he could only stare at Dean in shock. Now that he knew what was going on he recognized the signs for what they were from what his bonded brothers and sisters had told him over the millennia, but it still overwhelmed him. To know that his mate had voluntarily done all of that, it was unbelievable, but the softly shimmering kalsika before Dean proved that it was all real. Even before he'd made a conscious decision to do so, he'd lowered his defenses and allowed the power to reach his Grace unimpeded and it felt better than anything that he'd ever experienced before since his creation. It was the power of the kalsika and the ritual, but it was all layered with the emotions of his mate and he felt drawn to it just like he'd always been inexplicably drawn to Dean's soul from the moment that he'd first caught sight of it down in the depths of Hell.
"Dean," Castiel finally managed to say, his voice as reverential a whisper as he'd ever uttered to his Father before in prayer.
He had not been expecting this.
Castiel had always wanted it, the type of connection that this kind of bond implied, but he'd never dared hope that he would one day have it with Dean. Or at least he had never let himself to wish for it until just recently. Last night, in fact, had been the first time that he'd allowed himself to seriously contemplate it, before that it had always been more of an occasional thought that he'd quickly dismissed for fear that he'd start to focus on it too much and the last thing that he'd wanted to do was to make it obvious to his mate that there was something else, something more, that he wanted. He'd always only ever desired to give Dean exactly what his hunter wanted and to not pressure him for more as he knew that all of Dean's life people had been demanding more from his mate than Dean could give and he was not going to become one of those people.
Now that it was here, however, Castiel felt the need and desire for it flood through him and it was all that he could do not to just react instinctively to it without ensuring that his mate actually know what he was doing.
"Cas," Dean replied, voice low and vulnerable in a way Castiel had never heard before.
The power crackled in the air as Castiel met his mate's eyes. There was more emotion in those green eyes than he'd ever seen before and he felt his vessel's heart skip a beat at what he saw. There was love, anticipation, fear, hope, desire, reverence and much, much more. He'd taken several steps forwards and was at the edge of the purity circle before he knew it. His wings shifted impatiently, fluttering with his own desire to just take, grab what was being offered, but he couldn't do that to his mate and he knew he'd never forgive himself if he discovered later that Dean hadn't fully realized exactly what it was that he was offering here.
"Dean," Castiel said again and immediately felt a pang of regret as his mate's gaze shuttered, though he caught the flicker of fear and resignation in it before that happened. "No! Dean, no, that's not what I meant! I just- do you know what this is, what this means?"
The hope that appeared in his mate's eyes and rippled across the power electrifying the air warmed Castiel as he knew how much of an improvement that was over the way Dean would have once reacted, so sure that it couldn't possible mean what his mate wanted it to.
"Yeah, Mike gave me the book when I first asked about it," Dean replied, gesturing towards the table.
Castiel looked over to see the most definitive book on bonding laying there and his own hope flared. "You read it all?"
"Yes."
The last of Castiel's willpower crumpled and he was across the purity circle instantly, his passing igniting the power in the air so the distinctive electric blue flames of the kalsika ritual sprang up all along the circle. Dean's eyes widened as he watched the dancing fire, but Castiel was far too consumed by the desire to take, claim, mate, bond to pay it any heed beyond noticing his mate's reaction to the occurrence. He gracefully sank into a seat position, crossing his legs as he did so, before the altar of Ru'ena so he was facing the initiated kalsika and his hunter. Dean's hope and longing flared brighter and morphed into relief and such an all-encompassing joy that it was all that he could do to remain seated and not just rise and take his mate right then and there. His wings, however, had no such restriction and they arched around him and reached out for Dean, the tips of them caressing his hunter.
"Cas," Dean murmured, eyes sliding shut as his mate just enjoyed the simple touch.
Castiel allowed himself a moment to simply bask in the emotions rolling off of his mate and spinning deliriously in the air around them before his eyes were drawn towards the softly glowing kalsika between them. The normally radiant light he'd always seen on the kalsikas in the Garden of Eden had been replaced with a much softer light shot through with beautifully sparkling colors that swirled and tempted him to just reach out and experience everything that he meant to Dean. With a final glance up at his mate, he reached forward and did exactly that, being careful not to touch his mate's hands as he did so.
Nothing that Castiel had been told about the ritual could ever have prepared him for what happened next. The moment that his hands touched the kalsika, he was instantly swept up in a wave of emotions as the power of the kalsika reached out and connected with his Grace. At first it all roared through him, wave after wave of overwhelming feelings and thoughts, but then the flow slowed and individual emotions and impressions swirled into focus, accompanied by particular memories that Dean had chosen to share with him. He knew almost all of them, of course, but this time he experienced them as his mate had, along with everything that Dean felt for him.
Of course Castiel had known some of this already and the fact that his mate loved him had never been in doubt, but there was a long way between knowing it and feeling it so directly. The love and trust spread through him, wrapping around his very Grace as if it recognized him as the intended recipient of those emotions and couldn't bear to be parted from him a moment longer. He pulled it deep into himself, unable to even think about not having it now that he did. The memories and emotions continued to come to him, the breadth and depth of Dean's love and trust amazing him after all that his mate had gone through in his life. That his hunter could still let anyone that close after his own family had so completely betrayed him was nothing short of miraculous and he'd cherish that love and trust forever, even if the amount of power he knew it gave him over his mate terrified him a little. It would be so easy to break Dean forever and a part of him was always afraid that he'd say or do the wrong thing and his hunter would shatter despite all of the strength he knew that his mate possessed.
Castiel knew that this fear was justified by the undercurrent of emotional fragility that underlay everything else he felt from the kalsika. Even as Dean was bearing his very soul to him, his mate had also been plagued by the thought that he might not want this, that he might reject an actual bonding despite his feeling for his mate. It would have angered him if he didn't know his hunter so well. The fact that Dean could still doubt him after all that they had gone through was a product of his upbringing and his past and had become so much a part of Dean that he feared it might never completely go away, but he was determined to try. That his mate had gone ahead with the ritual gave him hope as it meant that his mate had finally healed enough to start acting on his own desires.
Then Castiel got to the memories of what Dean had gone through when he'd been captured and tortured by Meg and his hands tightened on the kalsika. The sheer terror and desperation that washed over him now caused his Grace to churn within him in dismay and helplessness, only the feel of his mate turning his face into his feathers and bring up a hand to grasp a wing kept him grounded enough to just stay where he was and passively experience it all. The only thing that soothed him a little was the determination and realization Dean took away from it but he'd still rather have spared his mate the whole thing. The thoughts of the bonding and the kalsika came next and he felt how vulnerable it had made his hunter to expose himself like this, but throughout it all there was never even a hint of regret despite the fear that his mate had been unable to suppress.
Dean wanted this bonding with all that he was and his mate was willing to risk all that on the chance that Castiel would want this too and it touched Castiel deeply, especially because he understood exactly what it cost Dean to do this.
When the power of the kalsika within him changed, Castiel didn't even hesitate and instead began pouring all that his mate was and meant to him into the kalsika. His first memory reached back much further than Dean's, right back to the moment he'd first laid eyes on his hunter in the depths of Hell. Dean might have been covered in blood and taint but still his purity had shone through despite all of Alastair's best efforts to ruin and demonize the Righteous Man. From that very first instant, he had been inexplicably drawn to Dean had already loved him in a way, and that love had only grown since until now it was far greater than even he could comprehend, but he did know that he couldn't live without his mate anymore, nor would he want to or had he ever regretted that it had become so vital for him. He wouldn't want it any other way.
Castiel made sure to share that sentiment with the kalsika, knowing his mate would misconstrue it otherwise. He then meticulously made him way through their evolving relationship as he had seen it, taking care to show how much Dean had come to mean to him and why it was that he had originally turned against his family and come to understand exactly what was going on. He wasn't sure if he'd ever told his hunter about how he had only gotten through that period of familial betrayal because of Dean and the sincerity and purity of his human's conviction in that what he was doing was right. It had given him the anchor he so desperately needed in those tumultuous times to ground himself and allow him to come to terms with what had happened, who he really was and what it was that he needed.
He shared some of the nights that he'd spent in whatever motel room the Winchester brothers were using, just standing at the foot of his mate's bed, watching his hunter sleep and contemplating everything. Dean had once called it creepy, but he knew his mate no longer thought so, therefore he hoped that this would not be viewed that way despite the fact that they had not been together yet at the time. It had been the only time that he'd found any peace back then, though, something about the way Dean looked so content and peaceful in sleep soothing him and letting him consider things rationally.
It had not been Castiel's intention to include those horrible, agonizing minutes after Dean had banished him in a bid to go find Michael in order to say yes to him in his thoughts, but they came anyway, the kalsika drawing them forth. He didn't resist as he knew the power of the ritual though he felt terrible as he experienced what followed once more. It still amazed him that Dean could stand his touch so easily without flinching or displaying any fear whatsoever of him using his superior strength against his mate as he had done that day. None of the next few memories were pleasant when the confrontation with Lucifer, their separation and what he'd found upon his return followed swiftly, though he did take special care to ensure that his desire to keep his hunter safe in all of those cases was made clear.
Then, finally, came the memories of when Castiel's feelings had morphed from friendship into love, even if he hadn't realized it yet at the time. He took special care to linger on the events of that night where they'd shared their first kiss and he'd come to understand exactly what it was that Dean meant to him. A lot of the following memories were ones that Dean had shared with him and he could only hope that his love and affection shone as strongly as his mate's for him had. He opened himself to the kalsika more and let his Grace reach out to it, pouring his love, hopes and desire into it, wanting Dean to be in absolutely no doubt of what it was that he meant to him. His mate's past made it difficult for Dean to fully grasp what it was that he meant to others and this was the perfect opportunity for him to show his mate irrevocably how much and how deeply he was cherished.
There were more memories of nights with Dean, only now spent in his mate's bed, wrapped around his precious hunter closer than he'd ever dared hope that they would be. Castiel too lingered on Christmas and Dean's birthday, those days standing out as being untainted by the Apocalypse and any outside influence. He knew that there was much more of a possessive edge to the feelings he was sharing than there had been in Dean's, but he hoped that his mate understood that it was due to the fact that his hunter was Michael's vessel and how hard it was to share Dean with his brother even if he knew that Michael loved and cared for his mate in a completely different way.
Castiel took the time to share some of the simple times as well when they had simply lain together and Dean had groomed his wings and that had been enough for the both of them. There was that and so much more, so many little things that meant everything to him and which he wished always be able to experience and how it had all come together into his own desire to bond though he had denied it in order to not pressure his mate as he had never desired to force Dean to feel the need to give more than he wanted to, but how it had burned brightly within him nonetheless. Finally he shared what he'd thought and felt upon arriving back here today so that Dean understood his initial hesitation had been caused solely by the need to be sure that his mate knew what this ritual meant and not anything more.
The last things that Castiel poured into the kalsika were his love and the thought that even the bonding might not be enough to satisfy how closely he wanted to be linked with Dean and that even knowing his mate's soul would be tied to his Grace forever, it didn't seem long enough.
A.N.: I'd intended for there to be sex in this chapter, I really had, but apparently it wasn't to be. Next time I guess.
Chapter 119
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,024
Summary: Castiel arrives.
PAST
Castiel had been taking care of some routine business in Heaven, stuff that needed to be done but which didn't require a whole lot of attention as he'd done them countless times before since he'd taken over as Sheriff of Heaven, when it happened. He'd been nearing the end of his chores and had just started thinking about visiting Virgil and seeing how things were going with the preparations in the armory that he'd requested when, seemingly out of nowhere, a wave of emotions and power washed over him. It was so unexpected and powerful that he nearly staggered under the weight of it, but it wasn't at all invasive as he would have assumed that something like that would be. Instead it felt wonderful, wrapping around his Grace and caressing it like a lover would.
Although Castiel had never felt anything like it before he instantly knew who was involved as the emotion and power all felt like one person.
Dean.
If the whole thing hadn't felt so unbelievably wonderful, Castiel would have panicked, the mere thought of something happening to his mate that could generate this kind of power terrifying him, but for some reason it didn't. That was almost just as frightening and he immediately flew off towards his hunter, letting his awareness of Dean direct his hasty flight. The moment that he landed, more power washed over him, bathing his Grace in a sense of peace like that which he'd only ever felt in Heaven before, centuries before this Apocalypse had begun, back when Father had still been around and Lucifer had not yet rebelled. He felt himself instantly relaxing, though he fought it off as he didn't know what was going on or why.
Then Castiel caught sight of the candles and his mate kneeling on the floor inside a purity circle, an altar of Ru'ena before him and holding a kalsika.
An initiated kalsika.
The shock stunned Castiel speechless for a moment and he could only stare at Dean in shock. Now that he knew what was going on he recognized the signs for what they were from what his bonded brothers and sisters had told him over the millennia, but it still overwhelmed him. To know that his mate had voluntarily done all of that, it was unbelievable, but the softly shimmering kalsika before Dean proved that it was all real. Even before he'd made a conscious decision to do so, he'd lowered his defenses and allowed the power to reach his Grace unimpeded and it felt better than anything that he'd ever experienced before since his creation. It was the power of the kalsika and the ritual, but it was all layered with the emotions of his mate and he felt drawn to it just like he'd always been inexplicably drawn to Dean's soul from the moment that he'd first caught sight of it down in the depths of Hell.
"Dean," Castiel finally managed to say, his voice as reverential a whisper as he'd ever uttered to his Father before in prayer.
He had not been expecting this.
Castiel had always wanted it, the type of connection that this kind of bond implied, but he'd never dared hope that he would one day have it with Dean. Or at least he had never let himself to wish for it until just recently. Last night, in fact, had been the first time that he'd allowed himself to seriously contemplate it, before that it had always been more of an occasional thought that he'd quickly dismissed for fear that he'd start to focus on it too much and the last thing that he'd wanted to do was to make it obvious to his mate that there was something else, something more, that he wanted. He'd always only ever desired to give Dean exactly what his hunter wanted and to not pressure him for more as he knew that all of Dean's life people had been demanding more from his mate than Dean could give and he was not going to become one of those people.
Now that it was here, however, Castiel felt the need and desire for it flood through him and it was all that he could do not to just react instinctively to it without ensuring that his mate actually know what he was doing.
"Cas," Dean replied, voice low and vulnerable in a way Castiel had never heard before.
The power crackled in the air as Castiel met his mate's eyes. There was more emotion in those green eyes than he'd ever seen before and he felt his vessel's heart skip a beat at what he saw. There was love, anticipation, fear, hope, desire, reverence and much, much more. He'd taken several steps forwards and was at the edge of the purity circle before he knew it. His wings shifted impatiently, fluttering with his own desire to just take, grab what was being offered, but he couldn't do that to his mate and he knew he'd never forgive himself if he discovered later that Dean hadn't fully realized exactly what it was that he was offering here.
"Dean," Castiel said again and immediately felt a pang of regret as his mate's gaze shuttered, though he caught the flicker of fear and resignation in it before that happened. "No! Dean, no, that's not what I meant! I just- do you know what this is, what this means?"
The hope that appeared in his mate's eyes and rippled across the power electrifying the air warmed Castiel as he knew how much of an improvement that was over the way Dean would have once reacted, so sure that it couldn't possible mean what his mate wanted it to.
"Yeah, Mike gave me the book when I first asked about it," Dean replied, gesturing towards the table.
Castiel looked over to see the most definitive book on bonding laying there and his own hope flared. "You read it all?"
"Yes."
The last of Castiel's willpower crumpled and he was across the purity circle instantly, his passing igniting the power in the air so the distinctive electric blue flames of the kalsika ritual sprang up all along the circle. Dean's eyes widened as he watched the dancing fire, but Castiel was far too consumed by the desire to take, claim, mate, bond to pay it any heed beyond noticing his mate's reaction to the occurrence. He gracefully sank into a seat position, crossing his legs as he did so, before the altar of Ru'ena so he was facing the initiated kalsika and his hunter. Dean's hope and longing flared brighter and morphed into relief and such an all-encompassing joy that it was all that he could do to remain seated and not just rise and take his mate right then and there. His wings, however, had no such restriction and they arched around him and reached out for Dean, the tips of them caressing his hunter.
"Cas," Dean murmured, eyes sliding shut as his mate just enjoyed the simple touch.
Castiel allowed himself a moment to simply bask in the emotions rolling off of his mate and spinning deliriously in the air around them before his eyes were drawn towards the softly glowing kalsika between them. The normally radiant light he'd always seen on the kalsikas in the Garden of Eden had been replaced with a much softer light shot through with beautifully sparkling colors that swirled and tempted him to just reach out and experience everything that he meant to Dean. With a final glance up at his mate, he reached forward and did exactly that, being careful not to touch his mate's hands as he did so.
Nothing that Castiel had been told about the ritual could ever have prepared him for what happened next. The moment that his hands touched the kalsika, he was instantly swept up in a wave of emotions as the power of the kalsika reached out and connected with his Grace. At first it all roared through him, wave after wave of overwhelming feelings and thoughts, but then the flow slowed and individual emotions and impressions swirled into focus, accompanied by particular memories that Dean had chosen to share with him. He knew almost all of them, of course, but this time he experienced them as his mate had, along with everything that Dean felt for him.
Of course Castiel had known some of this already and the fact that his mate loved him had never been in doubt, but there was a long way between knowing it and feeling it so directly. The love and trust spread through him, wrapping around his very Grace as if it recognized him as the intended recipient of those emotions and couldn't bear to be parted from him a moment longer. He pulled it deep into himself, unable to even think about not having it now that he did. The memories and emotions continued to come to him, the breadth and depth of Dean's love and trust amazing him after all that his mate had gone through in his life. That his hunter could still let anyone that close after his own family had so completely betrayed him was nothing short of miraculous and he'd cherish that love and trust forever, even if the amount of power he knew it gave him over his mate terrified him a little. It would be so easy to break Dean forever and a part of him was always afraid that he'd say or do the wrong thing and his hunter would shatter despite all of the strength he knew that his mate possessed.
Castiel knew that this fear was justified by the undercurrent of emotional fragility that underlay everything else he felt from the kalsika. Even as Dean was bearing his very soul to him, his mate had also been plagued by the thought that he might not want this, that he might reject an actual bonding despite his feeling for his mate. It would have angered him if he didn't know his hunter so well. The fact that Dean could still doubt him after all that they had gone through was a product of his upbringing and his past and had become so much a part of Dean that he feared it might never completely go away, but he was determined to try. That his mate had gone ahead with the ritual gave him hope as it meant that his mate had finally healed enough to start acting on his own desires.
Then Castiel got to the memories of what Dean had gone through when he'd been captured and tortured by Meg and his hands tightened on the kalsika. The sheer terror and desperation that washed over him now caused his Grace to churn within him in dismay and helplessness, only the feel of his mate turning his face into his feathers and bring up a hand to grasp a wing kept him grounded enough to just stay where he was and passively experience it all. The only thing that soothed him a little was the determination and realization Dean took away from it but he'd still rather have spared his mate the whole thing. The thoughts of the bonding and the kalsika came next and he felt how vulnerable it had made his hunter to expose himself like this, but throughout it all there was never even a hint of regret despite the fear that his mate had been unable to suppress.
Dean wanted this bonding with all that he was and his mate was willing to risk all that on the chance that Castiel would want this too and it touched Castiel deeply, especially because he understood exactly what it cost Dean to do this.
When the power of the kalsika within him changed, Castiel didn't even hesitate and instead began pouring all that his mate was and meant to him into the kalsika. His first memory reached back much further than Dean's, right back to the moment he'd first laid eyes on his hunter in the depths of Hell. Dean might have been covered in blood and taint but still his purity had shone through despite all of Alastair's best efforts to ruin and demonize the Righteous Man. From that very first instant, he had been inexplicably drawn to Dean had already loved him in a way, and that love had only grown since until now it was far greater than even he could comprehend, but he did know that he couldn't live without his mate anymore, nor would he want to or had he ever regretted that it had become so vital for him. He wouldn't want it any other way.
Castiel made sure to share that sentiment with the kalsika, knowing his mate would misconstrue it otherwise. He then meticulously made him way through their evolving relationship as he had seen it, taking care to show how much Dean had come to mean to him and why it was that he had originally turned against his family and come to understand exactly what was going on. He wasn't sure if he'd ever told his hunter about how he had only gotten through that period of familial betrayal because of Dean and the sincerity and purity of his human's conviction in that what he was doing was right. It had given him the anchor he so desperately needed in those tumultuous times to ground himself and allow him to come to terms with what had happened, who he really was and what it was that he needed.
He shared some of the nights that he'd spent in whatever motel room the Winchester brothers were using, just standing at the foot of his mate's bed, watching his hunter sleep and contemplating everything. Dean had once called it creepy, but he knew his mate no longer thought so, therefore he hoped that this would not be viewed that way despite the fact that they had not been together yet at the time. It had been the only time that he'd found any peace back then, though, something about the way Dean looked so content and peaceful in sleep soothing him and letting him consider things rationally.
It had not been Castiel's intention to include those horrible, agonizing minutes after Dean had banished him in a bid to go find Michael in order to say yes to him in his thoughts, but they came anyway, the kalsika drawing them forth. He didn't resist as he knew the power of the ritual though he felt terrible as he experienced what followed once more. It still amazed him that Dean could stand his touch so easily without flinching or displaying any fear whatsoever of him using his superior strength against his mate as he had done that day. None of the next few memories were pleasant when the confrontation with Lucifer, their separation and what he'd found upon his return followed swiftly, though he did take special care to ensure that his desire to keep his hunter safe in all of those cases was made clear.
Then, finally, came the memories of when Castiel's feelings had morphed from friendship into love, even if he hadn't realized it yet at the time. He took special care to linger on the events of that night where they'd shared their first kiss and he'd come to understand exactly what it was that Dean meant to him. A lot of the following memories were ones that Dean had shared with him and he could only hope that his love and affection shone as strongly as his mate's for him had. He opened himself to the kalsika more and let his Grace reach out to it, pouring his love, hopes and desire into it, wanting Dean to be in absolutely no doubt of what it was that he meant to him. His mate's past made it difficult for Dean to fully grasp what it was that he meant to others and this was the perfect opportunity for him to show his mate irrevocably how much and how deeply he was cherished.
There were more memories of nights with Dean, only now spent in his mate's bed, wrapped around his precious hunter closer than he'd ever dared hope that they would be. Castiel too lingered on Christmas and Dean's birthday, those days standing out as being untainted by the Apocalypse and any outside influence. He knew that there was much more of a possessive edge to the feelings he was sharing than there had been in Dean's, but he hoped that his mate understood that it was due to the fact that his hunter was Michael's vessel and how hard it was to share Dean with his brother even if he knew that Michael loved and cared for his mate in a completely different way.
Castiel took the time to share some of the simple times as well when they had simply lain together and Dean had groomed his wings and that had been enough for the both of them. There was that and so much more, so many little things that meant everything to him and which he wished always be able to experience and how it had all come together into his own desire to bond though he had denied it in order to not pressure his mate as he had never desired to force Dean to feel the need to give more than he wanted to, but how it had burned brightly within him nonetheless. Finally he shared what he'd thought and felt upon arriving back here today so that Dean understood his initial hesitation had been caused solely by the need to be sure that his mate knew what this ritual meant and not anything more.
The last things that Castiel poured into the kalsika were his love and the thought that even the bonding might not be enough to satisfy how closely he wanted to be linked with Dean and that even knowing his mate's soul would be tied to his Grace forever, it didn't seem long enough.
A.N.: I'd intended for there to be sex in this chapter, I really had, but apparently it wasn't to be. Next time I guess.
Chapter 119