Unexpected Destinies Chapter 55
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,541
Summary: Dean gives serious thought to what Raphael said and Castiel weighs in with his opinion.
PAST
Dean sighed, wishing he had a far more valid reason for just outright saying no then because he didn't want to. The problem was, Raphael's points were far too valid for him to dismiss outright, no matter how much he might want to. When it came right down to it, he'd been prepared to say yes once before when he'd thought it was the only way to save lives and that seemed to be exactly what the case was here.
The new reminder of what had happened the last time made him wince though he managed to contain his flinch this time. It wasn't the memory of Castiel's fists striking him, or even of having his lover's superior strength used against him, that bothered Dean, but rather the pain and sheer desperation he could recall seeing in his angel's eyes. And the betrayal. He didn't think he'd ever forget seeing that there and knowing that he'd been the cause of it. He knew this was probably backwards to how most people would see it, how they'd see the beating as by far the worst, but he couldn't really complain, as he himself had often spoken with a fist when he was angry. Hell, chances were that Castiel had learned that type of behavior from him and if that wasn't poetic justice, then he didn't know what was.
"You know, it's all pretty easy for you to say," Dean finally said. "But you're not the one that has to do it. Could you just do it? Give up all control of yourself to someone else to do with as they please?"
Raphael, the bastard, at least had the good grace to look away from Dean's gaze, though he still couldn't resist replying. "It is not me that we are talking about here."
"Not an answer."
He hesitated briefly then, not sure if he wanted to make his next point or not. It was a valid one, Dean knew, but he didn't want to hurt Castiel and he knew it probably would. On the other hand, he doubted that his lover would want him to forgo making this point on his account.
"Besides, it's not like I've got any good precedents to take comfort in either," Dean stated.
Michael frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Well, think about it, every single vessel that I've known hasn't come out of the experience well. They've either died, mostly with the angel; been reduced to a drooling mess, to use your own words; had to watch their bodies be used to hurt family and friends; or... or whatever the hell was happening to Lucifer's first vessel," Dean replied, gesturing at his own face. "You know, with the whole wasting away thing or whatever."
"Power decay?" Michael asked, looking at his younger brother.
"Yes," Castiel confirmed.
"Power decay?" Dean inquired.
"That vessel was not Lucifer's true vessel, just like all of the vessels I have used are not you," Michael explained. "There is a reason that archangels have so few true vessels and that is because most cannot contain our full power."
"So it starts to destroy the meatsuit?"
"Yes."
"Okay," Dean began and then blanched. "Wait, you mean my aunt's going to start... you know?"
"Given enough time, yes, I am sorry. Since her soul is no longer here and the fact that I have limited the use of my power, her meatsuit will last longer, but eventually it too will start to decay."
"Why does it make a difference that her soul isn't there anymore?"
"Less strain," Raphael stated. "It is only the fact that Michael and Lucifer are so skilled that they are able to keep the soul undamaged at all."
"You would not need to worry about power decay, Dean," Michael reassured. "Even if I were to use the full extent of my powers while in you, you would remain unharmed. In fact, you would come out of the experience healthier then you are now as not only would I heal any injuries we might sustain, but I would be able to heal anything you are not even aware of right now. Say to your liver or arteries."
Dean couldn't help but give a short bark of laughter at that. "Funny, very funny. So, you're promising to return me better then new?"
"You know that I cannot promise that. I can give you my word that I will do everything in my power to achieve that, but were we to encounter Lucifer, then I cannot guarantee that we would make it out alive."
"At least you're honest."
Dean was aware of the fact that Castiel had been shifting closer and closer to him and he turned to give his lover a reassuring smile, though he suspected that it came out as more of a grimace then anything else. He hated to worry his angel, but Raphael had a point, damnit! And he needed as much information as he could get so he could at least say he'd given it due consideration or whatever the hell the phrase was. If he was honest with himself, even the mere thought of saying yes and becoming a vessel, even to Michael as he now knew him, not only freaked him out, but downright terrified him. He'd never been good with not being in control except where first his father and now Castiel were concerned and this was the biggest loss of control he'd ever considered. Hell, he still couldn't figure out what he'd been thinking before, trying to say yes. He strongly suspected that Bobby was right and that he hadn't been, thinking that was, not he'd ever admit to that.
"Dean, of all the possibilities that you mentioned, us both getting killed is the only one you need worry about," Michael stated, moving closer and turning Dean's face so there could be no misunderstanding. "I have promised that I would not burn you out before. Nor would I harm those you love, whether it be your mate, your brother or your friends."
There is was again, that word 'mate.' Castiel had used it once and he'd wondered at it then, but never asked about it. Dean had just assumed that it was the angelic equivalent of the human word 'lover,' but he wasn't a hundred percent sure. He was distracted from this line of thought as a fragment of a memory hit him. It was just a few images and words, but he jerked backwards in shock and surprise.
"Dean?"
It took Dean a second to realize that one of the two calls he heard was from his mother in the past and the other was from Castiel who was suddenly before him.
"It's okay, I'm fine," Dean assured his angel. "Just a flashback. Aunt Deirdre did that once, held my face like that and it... just caught me off-guard is all."
Castiel regarded him for a long moment before turning to his brothers. "I think you should go now."
"We have not reached a decision yet," Raphael protested.
"There is still time, Raphael," Michael said turning to his brother. "Come, let us go."
"But-"
"If you push him, the answer will be no."
It startled Dean a little that Michael had come to know him that well, but it was also somewhat comforting. Much as it might feel like he was banging his head against a brick wall as far as Raphael was concerned, it was nice to see that there was an angel other then his lover who could learn to be less of a dick. If nothing else, it meant that Castiel gained another brother he could deal with without the threat of, and need for, violence. He'd take that any day.
Dean wasn't sure when he'd ended up back at his bed, but he collapsed down onto it as soon as Michael and Raphael departed. It took him a few moments to take some stock of everything that had just happened, but when he did, he looked up to realize that, for once, he was the one sitting calmly while Castiel paced the room in agitation. He had been a bad influence on his angel, he realized dully as he watched him go back and forth, and back and forth across the small room. Neither of them had said a word since for the past few minutes, but he knew that they were both thinking about the same thing.
He was going to have to say yes.
The thought still terrified Dean, but it was rapidly becoming clear that they didn't have much of a choice. It wasn't that he hadn't started to trust Michael, he had as the archangel seemed to be genuinely on their side now, both of them if he were truly honest with himself. It was hard, though, knowing that Raphael had killed Castiel with exactly the same conviction as he now argued for him becoming Michael's vessel. The thing was, this time he couldn't poke so many holes in the archangel's logic that it ended up looking more like Swiss cheese then anything else and that scared him.
How could they possibly have ended up back here yet again? Wasn't once enough? Dean had to swallow a bark of harsh, unamused laughter as another thought occurred to him. Was this perhaps someone's- God's?- way of trying to drill it into his thick skull that he couldn't escape his destiny? The thought was nearly enough to make him say up yours to reason and cling to his desirable no, it had more then served him well so far. In fact, the only other time he'd strayed from it, he'd ended up sorely regretting it. The thing was, though, what else could they do? Raphael was right that it was unreasonable to expect another option to miraculous appear to them before Lucifer broke free.
Dean groaned, completely unable think straight between the terror and despair. If he said no and more people died as a result... he wasn't sure he could handle that.
"Cas-"
"No!"
"Cas, wha-" Dean began and then yelped as his lover was suddenly before him, effortlessly dragging him upright and he had to scramble to get his feet under him. "Shit-"
"No, I won't let you do it. Not again."
"Cas, I-"
His words were cut off as Castiel caught his lips in a searing kiss and all rational thought fled as Dean automatically responded to it. The next instant he was flat on his back and his lover had literally ripped his shirts off to get at the scar on his shoulder.
"Mine!" Castiel declared, slotting his hand into place and placing biting kiss along his shoulder towards his neck. "Mine, not Michael's!"
Dean couldn't do anything but moan helplessly and buck up against his lover as Castiel began creating a new mark at the base of his throat. Oh God, he'd just gone from zero to raring faster then he'd thought possible and it almost hurt, but in a good way, like the little flashes of pain from his neck. It looked like he'd be getting his burn after all.
"Shit! Fuck, Cas, please!"
"Yes, fuck is exactly right. I'm going to fuck you, Dean."
Castiel rolled their hips together as he said it and Dean's brain fizzed out and all he could do was whine. Somewhere along the line his lover had stopped using the dirty language as much and while he didn't mind, its use was still guaranteed to turn him on fast, not that he hadn't already been, but fuck! The sudden disappearance of their clothes drew a mewl from him as he had acres of smooth, warm skin pressing down on him. He tried to bring his hands up to clutch at his angel, but the move was thwarted as Cas grabbed his wrists and pinned them down to the bed above his head with one hand.
"No," Castiel growled. "Mine."
"Yours," Dean finally managed to force out, afraid he'd come before anything real started.
At this rate it was practically inevitable, but he couldn't find it in him to care. All Dean could do was writhe and keen as his lover ran his free hand possessively over his body before it slid back to the handprint on his shoulder. The hand holding his wrists was suddenly running over his arms, then down his flank to reach their groins so it could grasp both their cocks as Castiel began biting marks into his other shoulder. It was with a start that he realized that he still couldn't move his hands and he would have come right then if it wasn't for the hand that tightened around the base of his cock.
"Cas!" Dean whined in protest.
"Not until I'm in you."
The words pulled more embarrassing sounds from his throat and Dean felt his eyes roll back into his head as his back arched, baring his throat. He felt teeth scrap along it as there was the familiar sound of a tube of lube being opened and then it took a few seconds for him to realize that his lover had frozen above him. It was a few more seconds before he could open his eyes and focus on Castiel to see what was going on. There were a dozen different emotions warring for dominance on his angel's face and he couldn't quite figure them out in his current state until dismay and guilt became the predominant ones and suddenly the pressure at his wrist was abruptly gone and then it suddenly clicked in his mind exactly what was happening.
"Dean, I'm sorry, I do not know what came over me," Castiel began, eyes wide.
Oh, no, no, no, not happening! Dean shot upright, one hand grasping the back of his lover's neck while the other supported his weight and let him press up against his angel.
"Don't you dare leave me like this, Cas!" Dean hissed.
It was too much for his angel too suddenly. Yes, Castiel had gone dominant on him before but never like this and never with his mojo and his lover clearly thought that he'd gone too far and abused his power. Cas couldn't be more wrong and Dean was more then a little stunned at how fucking hot he found it- oh look, yet another new kink!- but he was damned if he was going to let his lover think that. Hardly able to think enough to act, let alone speak, he pulled back far enough so that his angel could see his face and he willed him to read the truth in his eyes.
For a moment, Dean didn't think that it would be enough as Castiel seemed to hesitate, but then his lips were claimed in another searing and possessive kiss before he was forcefully pushed back down onto the bed. He bucked wildly a few times before calming enough to let his lover prepare him, gasping for air when his lips were released.
"Mine, mine, mine," Castiel stated, nipping along his chest as his fingers breached him.
And, yeah, Dean didn't come until his angel was in him, but only because his lover wouldn't have it any other way.
Chapter 56
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,541
Summary: Dean gives serious thought to what Raphael said and Castiel weighs in with his opinion.
PAST
Dean sighed, wishing he had a far more valid reason for just outright saying no then because he didn't want to. The problem was, Raphael's points were far too valid for him to dismiss outright, no matter how much he might want to. When it came right down to it, he'd been prepared to say yes once before when he'd thought it was the only way to save lives and that seemed to be exactly what the case was here.
The new reminder of what had happened the last time made him wince though he managed to contain his flinch this time. It wasn't the memory of Castiel's fists striking him, or even of having his lover's superior strength used against him, that bothered Dean, but rather the pain and sheer desperation he could recall seeing in his angel's eyes. And the betrayal. He didn't think he'd ever forget seeing that there and knowing that he'd been the cause of it. He knew this was probably backwards to how most people would see it, how they'd see the beating as by far the worst, but he couldn't really complain, as he himself had often spoken with a fist when he was angry. Hell, chances were that Castiel had learned that type of behavior from him and if that wasn't poetic justice, then he didn't know what was.
"You know, it's all pretty easy for you to say," Dean finally said. "But you're not the one that has to do it. Could you just do it? Give up all control of yourself to someone else to do with as they please?"
Raphael, the bastard, at least had the good grace to look away from Dean's gaze, though he still couldn't resist replying. "It is not me that we are talking about here."
"Not an answer."
He hesitated briefly then, not sure if he wanted to make his next point or not. It was a valid one, Dean knew, but he didn't want to hurt Castiel and he knew it probably would. On the other hand, he doubted that his lover would want him to forgo making this point on his account.
"Besides, it's not like I've got any good precedents to take comfort in either," Dean stated.
Michael frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Well, think about it, every single vessel that I've known hasn't come out of the experience well. They've either died, mostly with the angel; been reduced to a drooling mess, to use your own words; had to watch their bodies be used to hurt family and friends; or... or whatever the hell was happening to Lucifer's first vessel," Dean replied, gesturing at his own face. "You know, with the whole wasting away thing or whatever."
"Power decay?" Michael asked, looking at his younger brother.
"Yes," Castiel confirmed.
"Power decay?" Dean inquired.
"That vessel was not Lucifer's true vessel, just like all of the vessels I have used are not you," Michael explained. "There is a reason that archangels have so few true vessels and that is because most cannot contain our full power."
"So it starts to destroy the meatsuit?"
"Yes."
"Okay," Dean began and then blanched. "Wait, you mean my aunt's going to start... you know?"
"Given enough time, yes, I am sorry. Since her soul is no longer here and the fact that I have limited the use of my power, her meatsuit will last longer, but eventually it too will start to decay."
"Why does it make a difference that her soul isn't there anymore?"
"Less strain," Raphael stated. "It is only the fact that Michael and Lucifer are so skilled that they are able to keep the soul undamaged at all."
"You would not need to worry about power decay, Dean," Michael reassured. "Even if I were to use the full extent of my powers while in you, you would remain unharmed. In fact, you would come out of the experience healthier then you are now as not only would I heal any injuries we might sustain, but I would be able to heal anything you are not even aware of right now. Say to your liver or arteries."
Dean couldn't help but give a short bark of laughter at that. "Funny, very funny. So, you're promising to return me better then new?"
"You know that I cannot promise that. I can give you my word that I will do everything in my power to achieve that, but were we to encounter Lucifer, then I cannot guarantee that we would make it out alive."
"At least you're honest."
Dean was aware of the fact that Castiel had been shifting closer and closer to him and he turned to give his lover a reassuring smile, though he suspected that it came out as more of a grimace then anything else. He hated to worry his angel, but Raphael had a point, damnit! And he needed as much information as he could get so he could at least say he'd given it due consideration or whatever the hell the phrase was. If he was honest with himself, even the mere thought of saying yes and becoming a vessel, even to Michael as he now knew him, not only freaked him out, but downright terrified him. He'd never been good with not being in control except where first his father and now Castiel were concerned and this was the biggest loss of control he'd ever considered. Hell, he still couldn't figure out what he'd been thinking before, trying to say yes. He strongly suspected that Bobby was right and that he hadn't been, thinking that was, not he'd ever admit to that.
"Dean, of all the possibilities that you mentioned, us both getting killed is the only one you need worry about," Michael stated, moving closer and turning Dean's face so there could be no misunderstanding. "I have promised that I would not burn you out before. Nor would I harm those you love, whether it be your mate, your brother or your friends."
There is was again, that word 'mate.' Castiel had used it once and he'd wondered at it then, but never asked about it. Dean had just assumed that it was the angelic equivalent of the human word 'lover,' but he wasn't a hundred percent sure. He was distracted from this line of thought as a fragment of a memory hit him. It was just a few images and words, but he jerked backwards in shock and surprise.
"Dean?"
It took Dean a second to realize that one of the two calls he heard was from his mother in the past and the other was from Castiel who was suddenly before him.
"It's okay, I'm fine," Dean assured his angel. "Just a flashback. Aunt Deirdre did that once, held my face like that and it... just caught me off-guard is all."
Castiel regarded him for a long moment before turning to his brothers. "I think you should go now."
"We have not reached a decision yet," Raphael protested.
"There is still time, Raphael," Michael said turning to his brother. "Come, let us go."
"But-"
"If you push him, the answer will be no."
It startled Dean a little that Michael had come to know him that well, but it was also somewhat comforting. Much as it might feel like he was banging his head against a brick wall as far as Raphael was concerned, it was nice to see that there was an angel other then his lover who could learn to be less of a dick. If nothing else, it meant that Castiel gained another brother he could deal with without the threat of, and need for, violence. He'd take that any day.
Dean wasn't sure when he'd ended up back at his bed, but he collapsed down onto it as soon as Michael and Raphael departed. It took him a few moments to take some stock of everything that had just happened, but when he did, he looked up to realize that, for once, he was the one sitting calmly while Castiel paced the room in agitation. He had been a bad influence on his angel, he realized dully as he watched him go back and forth, and back and forth across the small room. Neither of them had said a word since for the past few minutes, but he knew that they were both thinking about the same thing.
He was going to have to say yes.
The thought still terrified Dean, but it was rapidly becoming clear that they didn't have much of a choice. It wasn't that he hadn't started to trust Michael, he had as the archangel seemed to be genuinely on their side now, both of them if he were truly honest with himself. It was hard, though, knowing that Raphael had killed Castiel with exactly the same conviction as he now argued for him becoming Michael's vessel. The thing was, this time he couldn't poke so many holes in the archangel's logic that it ended up looking more like Swiss cheese then anything else and that scared him.
How could they possibly have ended up back here yet again? Wasn't once enough? Dean had to swallow a bark of harsh, unamused laughter as another thought occurred to him. Was this perhaps someone's- God's?- way of trying to drill it into his thick skull that he couldn't escape his destiny? The thought was nearly enough to make him say up yours to reason and cling to his desirable no, it had more then served him well so far. In fact, the only other time he'd strayed from it, he'd ended up sorely regretting it. The thing was, though, what else could they do? Raphael was right that it was unreasonable to expect another option to miraculous appear to them before Lucifer broke free.
Dean groaned, completely unable think straight between the terror and despair. If he said no and more people died as a result... he wasn't sure he could handle that.
"Cas-"
"No!"
"Cas, wha-" Dean began and then yelped as his lover was suddenly before him, effortlessly dragging him upright and he had to scramble to get his feet under him. "Shit-"
"No, I won't let you do it. Not again."
"Cas, I-"
His words were cut off as Castiel caught his lips in a searing kiss and all rational thought fled as Dean automatically responded to it. The next instant he was flat on his back and his lover had literally ripped his shirts off to get at the scar on his shoulder.
"Mine!" Castiel declared, slotting his hand into place and placing biting kiss along his shoulder towards his neck. "Mine, not Michael's!"
Dean couldn't do anything but moan helplessly and buck up against his lover as Castiel began creating a new mark at the base of his throat. Oh God, he'd just gone from zero to raring faster then he'd thought possible and it almost hurt, but in a good way, like the little flashes of pain from his neck. It looked like he'd be getting his burn after all.
"Shit! Fuck, Cas, please!"
"Yes, fuck is exactly right. I'm going to fuck you, Dean."
Castiel rolled their hips together as he said it and Dean's brain fizzed out and all he could do was whine. Somewhere along the line his lover had stopped using the dirty language as much and while he didn't mind, its use was still guaranteed to turn him on fast, not that he hadn't already been, but fuck! The sudden disappearance of their clothes drew a mewl from him as he had acres of smooth, warm skin pressing down on him. He tried to bring his hands up to clutch at his angel, but the move was thwarted as Cas grabbed his wrists and pinned them down to the bed above his head with one hand.
"No," Castiel growled. "Mine."
"Yours," Dean finally managed to force out, afraid he'd come before anything real started.
At this rate it was practically inevitable, but he couldn't find it in him to care. All Dean could do was writhe and keen as his lover ran his free hand possessively over his body before it slid back to the handprint on his shoulder. The hand holding his wrists was suddenly running over his arms, then down his flank to reach their groins so it could grasp both their cocks as Castiel began biting marks into his other shoulder. It was with a start that he realized that he still couldn't move his hands and he would have come right then if it wasn't for the hand that tightened around the base of his cock.
"Cas!" Dean whined in protest.
"Not until I'm in you."
The words pulled more embarrassing sounds from his throat and Dean felt his eyes roll back into his head as his back arched, baring his throat. He felt teeth scrap along it as there was the familiar sound of a tube of lube being opened and then it took a few seconds for him to realize that his lover had frozen above him. It was a few more seconds before he could open his eyes and focus on Castiel to see what was going on. There were a dozen different emotions warring for dominance on his angel's face and he couldn't quite figure them out in his current state until dismay and guilt became the predominant ones and suddenly the pressure at his wrist was abruptly gone and then it suddenly clicked in his mind exactly what was happening.
"Dean, I'm sorry, I do not know what came over me," Castiel began, eyes wide.
Oh, no, no, no, not happening! Dean shot upright, one hand grasping the back of his lover's neck while the other supported his weight and let him press up against his angel.
"Don't you dare leave me like this, Cas!" Dean hissed.
It was too much for his angel too suddenly. Yes, Castiel had gone dominant on him before but never like this and never with his mojo and his lover clearly thought that he'd gone too far and abused his power. Cas couldn't be more wrong and Dean was more then a little stunned at how fucking hot he found it- oh look, yet another new kink!- but he was damned if he was going to let his lover think that. Hardly able to think enough to act, let alone speak, he pulled back far enough so that his angel could see his face and he willed him to read the truth in his eyes.
For a moment, Dean didn't think that it would be enough as Castiel seemed to hesitate, but then his lips were claimed in another searing and possessive kiss before he was forcefully pushed back down onto the bed. He bucked wildly a few times before calming enough to let his lover prepare him, gasping for air when his lips were released.
"Mine, mine, mine," Castiel stated, nipping along his chest as his fingers breached him.
And, yeah, Dean didn't come until his angel was in him, but only because his lover wouldn't have it any other way.
Chapter 56