Zeke Hightower's How to Fight a Duel
1. Try to remember that violence never solves anything. Flinklock pistols, on the other hand, can solve almost anything.
2. Avoid potentially offensive phrases such as redneck, cracker, hick, hayseed, hillbilly, democrat, or Detroit.
3. If you happen to have a gift certificate for a local restaurant, offer it to your opponent.
4. A surprise punch to your opponent's nuts can work wonders.
5. Aim for the head. That way, if your opponent turns out to be a zombie, you still win.
If none of the above works... accept death. Only after you face the fact that you are going to die can really begin to live. Unfortunately, given your current predicament, you probably only have a few minutes to live life to the fullest.
6. If time allows, moon your opponent.
Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell kicks ass.
2. Avoid potentially offensive phrases such as redneck, cracker, hick, hayseed, hillbilly, democrat, or Detroit.
3. If you happen to have a gift certificate for a local restaurant, offer it to your opponent.
4. A surprise punch to your opponent's nuts can work wonders.
5. Aim for the head. That way, if your opponent turns out to be a zombie, you still win.
If none of the above works... accept death. Only after you face the fact that you are going to die can really begin to live. Unfortunately, given your current predicament, you probably only have a few minutes to live life to the fullest.
6. If time allows, moon your opponent.
Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell kicks ass.