KKM Gaiden 1, Prologue
Guess what? This is in third person! That’s really exciting! Well, for me at least XD
So I decided to do the prologue from Kakka to Ma no Tsuku Tosa Nikki!? (His Excellency and The Tosa Ma!Diary!? aka KakkaMa) to get it out of the way... and also because it's a much less serious book so it was a good change of pace for my brain ^-^;;
Quick info: The Tosa Diary is an actual story in Japan. It was written by Ki no Tsurayuki and is famous because it’s the first diary in Japanese published as a piece of literature. You should be able to figure out why this story is called what it's called by the end of the prologue ^-^
Anyway, this prologue part happens two weeks after Yuuri and co. get back from Hildyard’s resort town in AshitaMa.
Scans from this novel were found on Portrait of a Demon King and were scanned by peanutbaby13. I had to guess where the one illustration went because my copy doesn’t have images ^_^;; I’m sure I’m close to the mark though~
Prologue
Thinking that I would like to try writing one of these diaries that men have written for a long time, I, as a woman, have started writing one as well.
This is a diary chronicling the daily life of a high class noble and his loyal retainer and about a profound love that has surpassed social status. So, if by chance it has fallen into the hands of someone besides myself, I beg of you to hold your tongue and absolutely never reveal the information held within.
... Your Excellency, please stop making me read this! In the first place, gender has nothing to do with diaries in this country and Your Excellency is clearly a man. And furthermore, what is this ‘love that has surpassed social status?’ Love?
Just come out and say it. This diary is a delusional explosion of the unrequited love you have towards His Majesty.
B-be quiet, Dacascos!
You are saying such things after I have graciously given you the honor of reading this in secret. This is the problem with soldiers. They do not even try to understand literature…
Whatever Your Excellency, but why are we communicating in writing?
*.*.*.*.*
Even though he has just become the 27th Demon King of The Great Demon Kingdom, Yuuri Shibuya has already set one record.
“The youngest king in history? How is that different than rookie-of-the-year?”
“They’re both impressive.”
Just as Lord Conrart Weller’s hand paused in stirring the pot, a super beauty came in with an irritated gait, sleeves fluttering.
“Your Majesty! Just when I thought I had not seen you around, you show up in a place like this? Like I have asked before, please stop partaking of meals in the kitchen!”
“You’re calling this a meal? This is just taste-testing.”
Lord Günter von Christ is the tutor of the youngest Demon King in history and in an important position assisting the king with his professional duties. It might sound nice to call him a royal advisor who has just snatched a small plate from his master, but the man with the disheveled grey hair always chasing after Yuuri is actually just an overprotective person.
“And you too, Conrart. Why are you stirring a pot?”
“Why?” The great actor Conrad, able to speak to anyone with a smile, shrugs lightly at Günter who has his nostrils flared in anger. “Because it will burn.”
“Yeah yeah, it’d be a waste if it burned.”
Hearing this well coordinated manner of speaking from the two of them, the tutor felt dizzy for just a moment and hurriedly pulls himself together.
Even though Yuuri only lets his guard down around Conrad, there’s no point in Günter losing himself in these foolish feelings. No actually, lately it seems that it is not only around Conrad that he lets his guard down. He has also been speaking more frankly with Wolfram and he ended up getting friendlier with Gwendal. To make matters worse, when he is around Lady Celi he blushes and according to a rumor, he may have been taken in by Anissina’s poisonous nature. (1)
“Ahhhhhh Your Majesty… Does Your Majesty hate me!?”
“Wh-what’s this all of a sudden!? What’s wrong, Günter? You’re always having an emotional overload.”
Yuuri is pushed back a half step when the much larger man leans against him. The kitchen worker that came back from the storeroom drops a bag of potatoes in shock.
“Wait, are those real tears!? Ah, the potatoes are rolling away.”
“I have no choice! No matter how much I express my love, Your Majesty disappears and jests only with Conrart and Wolfram…”
“Well Günter, you’re not really the type who would want to joke around and then you go and write it all down in that diary.”
“Those words are piercing my heart one by one. Lately my job ranking has lost a star and my public ranking in Your Majesty’s partiality has taken a nosedive.”
“What is this public ranking thing? Is it like sumo ranking and there’s a yokozuna at the top? No, before that, what’s this about partiality!?”
While methodically stirring with the wooden ladle, Conrad explains in a way that even an elementary school student would understand.
“It’s when someone of a high status looks favorably upon another and loves them.”
“Love!?”
“My name has now fallen lower than Greta’s!” Günter lamented.
If he wanted, he could become famous by bringing women to tears, but this super beauty was actually a tearful man. The second kitchen worker coming back from the storeroom drops a basket of eggs in shock.
“Ah! Raw egg is everywhere. Calm down Günter. Greta is, well, my daughter so that can’t be helped, you know? Even though we’re not related by blood.”
The last comment ended up increasing the tutor’s anxiety and tears form in his violet eyes.
“And… and these past few days I have felt a gaze upon me at all hours as if my comrades are ridiculing my pitiful position. I can’t take it anymore tosa!”
“Huh!?” Yuuri stiffens instantaneously as if he has heard something he shouldn’t have. “Wh-what did you just say?”
“M-my apologies! I, of all people, was driven to agitation.”
Searching around for a bottle of red wine with his right hand, Conrad explains after taking a sip. He himself didn’t pay much attention to it, but Conrad actually held the top rank on the list.
“There is a lake named Tosa in the Christ territory and Günter was born there. His mother is a member of the Lake Shore Tribe blessed with magical talent and the von Christ family has a villa there.”
“So at Lake Tosa ‘I can’t take it anymore tosa’… is the dialect? A local dialect? So Günter is a stubborn-born guy from Tosa.” (2)
“No, ‘stubburn’ is the sound a pheasant makes. I was born at the lake shore.”
“Ah yeah, cuckoos are at lake shores, huh? Ah no, I’m confused!”
The always-composed Lord Weller stoops down to adjust the heat on the stove.
“But that gaze you mentioned has me worried. I don’t think that there is anyone with enough free time here at the castle to follow Günter around all day. If a suspicious person has been coming and going from the castle, there is a problem with security. None of the children come this far into the castle on school field trips, after all.”
“Rather than a child it is more, more of a passionate gaze.”
“A passionate gaze! Then maybe some girl is stalking you? You’re ridiculously good looking, Günter.”
“Please do not say something so sad. Your Majesty is aware that I am fully devoted only to you. I would not be pleased by being coveted by a woman from somewhere.”
“The part you’re worrying over is peculiar, Lord von Christ.”
After throwing a fleeting, sidelong glance at his coworker rubbing his cheek against his master’s hand, Conrad pours some wine in the pot and, after stirring it slowly, tastes the contents.
For him, this is a normal, calm and peaceful scene.
The third kitchen worker to come back from the storeroom slips and drops a bag of flour.
The floor is just about ready to be deep-fried.
----
(1) Linguistic notes on word choice~ There are two different ways to say ‘let your guard down’ in Japanese (that I know of ^-^). One is ‘to yield your mind’ and the other is ‘to yield your heart.’ Guess which one Mr. Jealousy used XD Anyway, the heart version of ‘let your guard down’ here has a connotation that the person is someone they trust and would confide in.
(2) The name Tosa (トサ) looks exactly the same written here in the alphabet, but it is written differently in Yuuri’s comment (土佐). This is to show that Yuuri is thinking about the Tosa Province in feudal Japan which is now known as Kouchi Prefecture. The famous samurai/politician Ryouma Sakamoto is from this area.
*.*.*.*.*
Lord Gwendal von Voltaire, the eldest son of the three demon brothers who look nothing alike and the man who wouldn’t mind collapsing from overwork if it was for the prosperity and glory of The Great Demon Kingdom, walked with his usual dour face as he lamented over his misfortune.
In the first place, this territory is under the direct control of the Demon King and he is now in a stone hallway in Blood Pledge Castle that was built in the royal capital - not his own castle in the Voltaire region that he governs over. Just a few days ago, he was summoned to the capital and forced to take care of all kinds of official duties as the representative of His Majesty, the current Demon King. Just how many pending problems had he put temporary policies into play for and how many request forms had he signed as a proxy?
Of course if the office work at the capital falls behind there will be disorder in the kingdom, but if things keep going as they are, he’ll end up the regent of the current Demon King. This isn’t funny. Like he’ll tolerate being made the regent of that troublesome kid? If Yuuri himself were there, he would probably at least jokingly say ‘How cruel.’ Imagining that, Gwendal cheers up a bit.
Anyway.
He managed to do something about the urgent matters. Gwendal should now be released. Perhaps he would be able to return to his home tomorrow. When he gets back, the first thing he’ll work on is completing Bandou Eiji that he had left half finished. After that, he’s going to put a yellow collar on the kitty he is fostering. Of course, both of these are knitted animals. Since The Red Devil is away on vacation, he can immerse himself in his hobby in peace.
Hearing the voices of people coming around the corner, Gwendal hardens his face once again from the relaxed expression that had found its way onto it. If someone found it odd for him to be grinning, he doesn’t know what sort of rumor will be started.
The ones who came around the corner in a dispute are the king and his retainer - Yuuri and Günter. Because of their negligence… his blood pressure rose instantaneously.
“… What?”
However, as the pair passed by without noticing him, he saw a small black shadow trailing behind them. Hiding behind pillars and such, it seems that it is stalking them.
“A stalker? In the castle?”
Be that as it may, just why exactly do they not notice this when it’s following so close behind them? He can only think that it is because they have become lax as important people to the kingdom. Lord von Voltaire immediately runs forward with his long legs, quickly grabs the pursuer by their neck and lifts them off the ground. They’re very petite. No, rather than petite, they’re small. After they’re lifted up, their legs flail about in the air.
“… A child?”
“Aw-that’s-mean-I’m-not-a-kid-you-know-even-though-I-look-like-this-I’m-already-an-adult-anyway-uh-can-you-let-me-down-please-no-no-I’m-not-a-suspicious-person-I-am-clearly-not-a-questionable-person-however.” (1)
He has white and grey clothes on and flat-soled shoes. His golden brown hair is neither short nor long and his face cannot be categorized as beautiful, but the always moving glint in his eyes shows that he is a quick thinker. Gwendal realizes he is a boy as he carefully observes him, but there isn’t really anything masculine about him.
“You don’t really stand out.”
“Ah-this-what-this? This-these clothes and shoes are a new product that I just bought recently. With a little bit of magic, my footsteps disappear and with a little bit of magic, I don’t look like a predator.”
“… Then it’s just camouflage.”
“No-it’s-nothing-of-the-sort-I-got-it-at-a-recently-established-and-convenient-store-named-The-Queen’s-Design.”
Is that by chance a store for Anissina’s inventions!?
“Uhhhh-I’m-a-bit-late-in-introducing-myself-but…”
“I won’t say anything bad, but it is in your best interests to not touch anything in that store.”
“Eh-why-there-are-a-lot-of-interesting-things-there-like-magic-powered-laundry-clips-and-magic-powered-sleeve-roller-uppers-the-fact-that-the-consumers-are-never-told-just-what-part-of-the-products-is-magical-is-what’s-surreptitiously-making-the-place-famous… kyaa!”
After hearing someone defending the creations of Anissina, his childhood friend, his knitting teacher, his lifelong nemesis, one of The Great Demon Kingdom’s Three Great Witches, The Red Devil, Gwendal became incredibly furious.
Do you have any idea how much flagrant abuse he has received as an unhappy guinea pig for those lucky few products to receive surreptitious fame?
He no longer thinks ‘now that I look at him with his big and round eyes like a small animal, he might be cute’ and he turns toward Günter and Yuuri who still haven’t noticed the commotion behind them and throws the small stalker at them.
“What-is-this-is-this-another-magic-powered-catapult-or-something-hyooo….. oomph!”
He had wonderful aim.
----
(1) This person just randomly says ‘however’ at the end of some of his sentences. He also randomly switches back and forth between talking super fast and normally. Don’t let it confuse annoy you ^-^
*.*.*.*.*
“Allow-me-to-properly-introduce-myself-however.”
After the two of them got lumps in the same place, the stalker finally introduces himself in Günter’s private room. Günter gazes at the business card he is handed and reads aloud.
“The Central Literary Institute of The Great Demon Kingdom… Badwik Folkloke… Editor… So does that mean you have come to the castle for a news story? Ah, you are certainly not here to publish a picture collection of His Majesty, are you?”
Even when they are sitting down together, there is still a difference in height like with a child and adult. The petite man who called himself Badwik narrows his small-animal-like eyes and waves his hand in front of his face.
“No no no, this time I am not here for His Majesty, ah-no-well-if-it-is-permissible-I-would-be-honored-to-create-an-official-picture-collection-of-His-Majesty-the-27th-Demon-King, but you see this time I am here about your diary.”
“Diary!?”
Günter’s chair makes a loud noise as he stands up and hurriedly looks around. It’s his private room so there is no one else around and because it’s a western style room, Mary isn’t watching from the other side of the paper doors. Of course, the walls don’t have ears either. (1)
“A-a diary? Just what sort of diary are you speaking of!?”
“Actually-it’s-something-a-friend-of-mine-got-a-hold-of-however. That friend is a man that has devoted body and spirit to the soul of His Majesty the great True King and has chosen to live a life that one steeped in worldliness such as I can’t even imagine however.”
Gulp.
Sitting in front of this fast-talking editor who smiled sociably as his dark brown eyes flitted about the room, the only thing Günter was able to do without revealing the agitation he felt was to give a small nod.
“Let-me-see-it-is-in-a-place-that-is-called-in-common-terms-a-garden-of-learning-however. I’m-sure-you-know-but-the-daily-life-there-is-very-austere-and-strict-not-just-the-hair-on-the-head-and-eyebrows-but-all-the-hair-on-the-body-is-removed-and-they’re-made-all-sleek-and-smooth.
“Sl-sleek and smooth?”
He questioned in a way to feign ignorance, but he was already fully aware of this. After all, it was just a half a month before that he had come back from a trial period at that garden of learning due to a slight misunderstanding. Even if he tried to, he would never be able to forget that place where the monks of indeterminate age lived life completely disconnected from reality.
“And-you-know-what-and-you-know-what? My-friend-has-told-me-that-lately-they-have-enjoyed-a-private-pleasure-from-a-certain-diary-being-passed-around-that-was-transcribed-in-utmost-secrecy-however! Oh-and-it’s-in-the-form-of-a-short-novel-about-forbidden-love-and-adventure-and-friendship-between-men-and-all-sorts-of-fascinating-things-that’s-an-unstoppable-mine-cart-that-you-can’t-stop-reading-once-you-pick-up!”
Günter was perspiring unpleasantly on his back and his cleavage (although he doesn’t have any) as he looked at the cheerful Badwik.
He remembers.
He really remembers.
At bedtime on the first day of his trial period, the head monk and the self-important and boorish monk both inconsiderately commented on and confiscated his diary. It was not returned until he left on the last day of the trial period. What if it had been copied word for word by someone on the inside? Um, what if that would-be masterpiece ‘A Love Diary Composed in Summer’ was seen by all of the people at that monastery? Whether he was aware of the screaming in Günter’s heart or not, the editor suddenly changed the topic.
“And so, Your Excellency Lord von Christ, do you know what sort of novels are being read on the streets nowadays?”
“Ah, yes, um… ‘Record of the Drunken War’ I believe?”
Badwik slaps his knee joyfully.
“Exactly! It’s a deeply moving piece of literature on a grand scale about a certain king who loses everything simply because of his drunken fighting, but never gives up and with his companions, who have sworn allegiance to him, rebuilds his country! And what else?”
“I… am well-versed in books for education, however I am not quite as enlightened on novels intended for the general public… If I remember correctly, I heard of the title ‘Fish Wars.’” (2)
“Yes yes! It is an amusing story about an acrobatic troupe of marine life under a false front that is in fact a group of beautiful warriors who use illusions of fish in a war to gain influence for the ocean however! That one has many expansions and has even been made into an opera. There’s a big rumor that if the theme song is played the sales of seafood go up. Both-of-these-are-published-by-The-Central-Literary-Institute-of-The-Great-Demon-Kingdom-thank-you-very-much-for-the-popularity-it-has-received.”
Now that he has been thanked with a business smile, it is difficult to tell Badwik that he hasn’t read either of them. In the heat of the moment, against his better judgment he says in a good-natured way that he cried at the climax.
“However,” the editor Badwik continues with a slightly despondent expression, “I’m afraid to say that among the books that we have to work with, no, this is a problem that affects the publishing business across the world… there are next to no works that women would enjoy.”
“That women would… I see.”
Lord von Christ was absolutely not sexist. He had never thought even once that ‘women and children do not need an education!’ Actually, his adopted daughter Gisela had studied healing magic at the kingdom’s highest institute of learning and was now an active military officer in the medical division. Despite this, the reason he gave this vague answer was because he could not easily imagine Lady Celi or Anissina enjoying a novel.
Her Majesty the Previous King, Lady Cecilie von Spitzweg, only ever read the love letters she received from men and Lady von Karbelnikoff, The Mad Magicalist Anissina, only read massive, ancient documents detailing evil magic of legend.
Literary works aimed at women? What sort of things would those be?
“Of-course-there-are-the-rare-women-who-deeply-enjoy-military-histories-and-academic-books-however! But-however-many-of-the-ladies-surely-wish-for-more-teen-love-comedies-and-epic-love-stories-that-set-their-hearts-aflutter! Tears scattering on the wind! Feelings rushing out! Lovers who wish to be together but their destinies keep them apart!”
That is not comedy.
Hesitating on making that comment, Günter was forced to take a sip of his tea. There was an indescribable aura coming from Badwik as he passionately spoke.
“And then it hit me! It was my duty as a man in the publishing business to publish novels that the career women of the kingdom could enjoy while on break, that the housewives managing the families could enjoy between their housework and that the young daughters can discuss between classes. A-flesh-and-blood-book-the-ladies-can-look-forward-with-excitement-yes-that-is-the-beginning-of-the-story-the-key-to-the-world-the-journey-starts-now!”
“I-I have also sort of come to have that feeling.”
“Right!?”
To be honest, he had no idea what the last part meant, but not even the lunch bell can stop an editor who has started talking about literature. Even Lord von Christ got caught up in the mood and was just nodding at his small companion.
“I’m-sure-you’ve-already-guessed-what-I’m-trying-to-say-by-now-however.”
Therefore when Badwik said that, he hadn’t the slightest idea of what exactly he was supposed to have figured out. Does he want the approval of The Great Demon Kingdom’s official Royal Advisor as publicity for his books?
The passionate editor leaned forward with the short upper-half of his body and continued in a low but strong voice.
“… I want to publish Your Excellency’s diary.”
“Ah, my diary… publish?”
The two words spun around in his head and the lump on there he had gotten before suddenly began to heat up.
Diary diary diary, publish publish publish.
Publish, verb. To print books, documents, etc. and distribute them. Taken from ‘The New Great Demon Kingdom Dictionary.’
The dreadful meaning of the simple word slowly soaks into Günter’s head.
“We in The Women and Children’s Division of The Entertainment Literature Publication Department at The Central Literary Institute of The Great Demon Kingdom would absolutely love to commercially publish ‘A Love Diary Composed in Summer’ written by Your Excellency Günter however!”
“Eh!? Ehh!? Ehhhhh!? Certainly not my love diary!? No but that is actually the second volume and the one before that is ‘A Dream Diary that Starts in Spring’ but no that’s not the problem, that is a secret, an absolute secret! I mean, His Majesty and I… eh, ah, uh, umm it is simply a slightly dramatized recounting of my loyalty and confidence…” (3)
“I know. Ah-I-was-deeply-moved-it’s-a-frankly-recorded-masterpiece-of-the-forbidden-love-and-discord-between-a-master-and-servant.”
“No, like I said it is ostensibly about loyalty and confidence…”
“But no matter how you read it, it’s about love and discord isn’t it?”
He’s been found out. He’s been completely found out.
Before the penetrating eyes of an experienced editor, the resistance of an amateur is near futile. The super beauty who is the tutor and royal advisor to the current Demon King began sweating around his orderly eyebrows, his temples and even under his grey hair. Scalp check please.
“L-l-l-love and discord of all things, that’s ridiculous tosa!”
“Oh Your Excellency, are you from Tosa? Actually, my relative’s friend’s teacher’s mother’s old lover was born at Lake Tosa however. I have travelled to the travel depot out of wanting the nostalgia of hearing the accent of my birthplace.”
He has no relation whatsoever to Lake Tosa, but Günter decides it is best to go along with it.
With a smile that has no feeling of any malice, the editor puts down the tea cup he had been holding with both hands.
“How about it? Will you allow the story of the unrequited love and conflict disguised as loyalty towards His Majesty be published for the ladies who hope for a romance novel? Ah, of course I don’t mind if you wish to make changes to hide your identity such as using fake names of places, people and jobs. In-that-case-I-Badwik-will-help-you-in-that-endeavor-despite-my-poor-abilities-however!”
“Saying it is unrequited is mean!”
Assaulted by a buzzing in the ears like an army of bees is flying around, Günter rocked his body left and right with an irregular timing.
“Ah, and then that previous volume ‘A Dream Diary that Starts in Spring’ was it? If you’re willing, I would also like to read that one as well. Actually-there-aren’t-enough-pages-in-the-love-diary-and-the-introduction-is-a-bit-abrupt. And if there are any anecdotes and the like that may help in understanding the personalities of the characters, I believe it will firmly grab the ladies hearts however. For example, ‘Ah His Majesty is sooooo cuuute’ or ‘How Lord Weller aaaalways takes all the good parts is cooooool’ or ‘Don’t give up the game, Skinny Frog, His Excellency is here!’” (4)
“His Majesty is sooo cuuute? In other words, that anecdote would be a charming story that would make the sweetness of His Majesty known?”
When it comes to searching for His Majesty the current Demon King’s sweetness, there is no one better suited for the job - although he doesn’t want to boast about it. By the way, if any misguided fellow tried to overtake him in this area, they would probably be burnt to a crisp by his jealous glare.
Suddenly met with an energetic Günter, the editor makes a confused face.
“If so than I have as much as you need! Among the recent charming incidents, there is an excellent one that I absolutely cherish…”
“Ah, just as I thought-pon, ah, excuse me, just as I thought however!”
Rather than loyalty, it is love.
(1) There is an urban legend in Japan that if you’re alone, doing something you’re not supposed to or think that no one is watching, ‘The walls have ears and the paper doors have eyes’ (kabe ni mimi ari, shouji ni me ari). There is a popular joke that then goes ‘The walls have ears and Mary is at the papers doors’ because the way to say ‘have/has eyes’ (me ari) is almost exactly like how Mary is written in Japanese phonology (mearii). ---> Kabe ni mimi ari, shouji ni mearii.
(2) These are spoofs on anime: Record of Lodoss War and Sakura Wars.
(3) The part where Günter says it’s a secret is actually a joke on the nickname for the series, MaruMa, which is the character ma (マ) in a circle (maru) ---> ㋮. The first time Günter says secret, it has this character for secret (秘) (pronounced 'hi') written in a circle and then Günter says 'it's MaruHi!' The publishing company custom made that character in a circle. I can't even type it for you - though I tried! Technically I couldn't even type ㋮. I had to copy and paste that from somewhere. I know how to do it in Word, but not here ^-^;;;;
(4) The ‘don’t give up Skinny Frog’ is a joke on a famous haiku poem by Issa Kobayashi. The original is ‘Don’t give up Skinny Frog, Issa is here!’ Extra info: Apparently he was in a writing slump when he came up with the poem and he happened to come across a frog. He saw himself in the frog desperately fighting with another creature and he named the frog Issa.
---
Well, that’s the end of the huge prologue! I’ll be working on the next story in this book on and off (because it’s really long). It’s called ‘Jajakuma Narashi’ which is a joke on ‘Jajauma Narashi’ which is the Japanese title of ‘The Taming of the Shrew.’ I guess I’ll call it ‘The Taming of the Bear.’ Depending on how the narrative is broken up, I might release the story in multiple parts. But! The next thing I’m putting out is definitely going to be chapter 5 of TenMa.
Next Chapter -->
So I decided to do the prologue from Kakka to Ma no Tsuku Tosa Nikki!? (His Excellency and The Tosa Ma!Diary!? aka KakkaMa) to get it out of the way... and also because it's a much less serious book so it was a good change of pace for my brain ^-^;;
Quick info: The Tosa Diary is an actual story in Japan. It was written by Ki no Tsurayuki and is famous because it’s the first diary in Japanese published as a piece of literature. You should be able to figure out why this story is called what it's called by the end of the prologue ^-^
Anyway, this prologue part happens two weeks after Yuuri and co. get back from Hildyard’s resort town in AshitaMa.
Scans from this novel were found on Portrait of a Demon King and were scanned by peanutbaby13. I had to guess where the one illustration went because my copy doesn’t have images ^_^;; I’m sure I’m close to the mark though~
Prologue
Thinking that I would like to try writing one of these diaries that men have written for a long time, I, as a woman, have started writing one as well.
This is a diary chronicling the daily life of a high class noble and his loyal retainer and about a profound love that has surpassed social status. So, if by chance it has fallen into the hands of someone besides myself, I beg of you to hold your tongue and absolutely never reveal the information held within.
... Your Excellency, please stop making me read this! In the first place, gender has nothing to do with diaries in this country and Your Excellency is clearly a man. And furthermore, what is this ‘love that has surpassed social status?’ Love?
Just come out and say it. This diary is a delusional explosion of the unrequited love you have towards His Majesty.
B-be quiet, Dacascos!
You are saying such things after I have graciously given you the honor of reading this in secret. This is the problem with soldiers. They do not even try to understand literature…
Whatever Your Excellency, but why are we communicating in writing?
*.*.*.*.*
Even though he has just become the 27th Demon King of The Great Demon Kingdom, Yuuri Shibuya has already set one record.
“The youngest king in history? How is that different than rookie-of-the-year?”
“They’re both impressive.”
Just as Lord Conrart Weller’s hand paused in stirring the pot, a super beauty came in with an irritated gait, sleeves fluttering.
“Your Majesty! Just when I thought I had not seen you around, you show up in a place like this? Like I have asked before, please stop partaking of meals in the kitchen!”
“You’re calling this a meal? This is just taste-testing.”
Lord Günter von Christ is the tutor of the youngest Demon King in history and in an important position assisting the king with his professional duties. It might sound nice to call him a royal advisor who has just snatched a small plate from his master, but the man with the disheveled grey hair always chasing after Yuuri is actually just an overprotective person.
“And you too, Conrart. Why are you stirring a pot?”
“Why?” The great actor Conrad, able to speak to anyone with a smile, shrugs lightly at Günter who has his nostrils flared in anger. “Because it will burn.”
“Yeah yeah, it’d be a waste if it burned.”
Hearing this well coordinated manner of speaking from the two of them, the tutor felt dizzy for just a moment and hurriedly pulls himself together.
Even though Yuuri only lets his guard down around Conrad, there’s no point in Günter losing himself in these foolish feelings. No actually, lately it seems that it is not only around Conrad that he lets his guard down. He has also been speaking more frankly with Wolfram and he ended up getting friendlier with Gwendal. To make matters worse, when he is around Lady Celi he blushes and according to a rumor, he may have been taken in by Anissina’s poisonous nature. (1)
“Ahhhhhh Your Majesty… Does Your Majesty hate me!?”
“Wh-what’s this all of a sudden!? What’s wrong, Günter? You’re always having an emotional overload.”
Yuuri is pushed back a half step when the much larger man leans against him. The kitchen worker that came back from the storeroom drops a bag of potatoes in shock.
“Wait, are those real tears!? Ah, the potatoes are rolling away.”
“I have no choice! No matter how much I express my love, Your Majesty disappears and jests only with Conrart and Wolfram…”
“Well Günter, you’re not really the type who would want to joke around and then you go and write it all down in that diary.”
“Those words are piercing my heart one by one. Lately my job ranking has lost a star and my public ranking in Your Majesty’s partiality has taken a nosedive.”
“What is this public ranking thing? Is it like sumo ranking and there’s a yokozuna at the top? No, before that, what’s this about partiality!?”
While methodically stirring with the wooden ladle, Conrad explains in a way that even an elementary school student would understand.
“It’s when someone of a high status looks favorably upon another and loves them.”
“Love!?”
“My name has now fallen lower than Greta’s!” Günter lamented.
If he wanted, he could become famous by bringing women to tears, but this super beauty was actually a tearful man. The second kitchen worker coming back from the storeroom drops a basket of eggs in shock.
“Ah! Raw egg is everywhere. Calm down Günter. Greta is, well, my daughter so that can’t be helped, you know? Even though we’re not related by blood.”
The last comment ended up increasing the tutor’s anxiety and tears form in his violet eyes.
“And… and these past few days I have felt a gaze upon me at all hours as if my comrades are ridiculing my pitiful position. I can’t take it anymore tosa!”
“Huh!?” Yuuri stiffens instantaneously as if he has heard something he shouldn’t have. “Wh-what did you just say?”
“M-my apologies! I, of all people, was driven to agitation.”
Searching around for a bottle of red wine with his right hand, Conrad explains after taking a sip. He himself didn’t pay much attention to it, but Conrad actually held the top rank on the list.
“There is a lake named Tosa in the Christ territory and Günter was born there. His mother is a member of the Lake Shore Tribe blessed with magical talent and the von Christ family has a villa there.”
“So at Lake Tosa ‘I can’t take it anymore tosa’… is the dialect? A local dialect? So Günter is a stubborn-born guy from Tosa.” (2)
“No, ‘stubburn’ is the sound a pheasant makes. I was born at the lake shore.”
“Ah yeah, cuckoos are at lake shores, huh? Ah no, I’m confused!”
The always-composed Lord Weller stoops down to adjust the heat on the stove.
“But that gaze you mentioned has me worried. I don’t think that there is anyone with enough free time here at the castle to follow Günter around all day. If a suspicious person has been coming and going from the castle, there is a problem with security. None of the children come this far into the castle on school field trips, after all.”
“Rather than a child it is more, more of a passionate gaze.”
“A passionate gaze! Then maybe some girl is stalking you? You’re ridiculously good looking, Günter.”
“Please do not say something so sad. Your Majesty is aware that I am fully devoted only to you. I would not be pleased by being coveted by a woman from somewhere.”
“The part you’re worrying over is peculiar, Lord von Christ.”
After throwing a fleeting, sidelong glance at his coworker rubbing his cheek against his master’s hand, Conrad pours some wine in the pot and, after stirring it slowly, tastes the contents.
For him, this is a normal, calm and peaceful scene.
The third kitchen worker to come back from the storeroom slips and drops a bag of flour.
The floor is just about ready to be deep-fried.
----
(1) Linguistic notes on word choice~ There are two different ways to say ‘let your guard down’ in Japanese (that I know of ^-^). One is ‘to yield your mind’ and the other is ‘to yield your heart.’ Guess which one Mr. Jealousy used XD Anyway, the heart version of ‘let your guard down’ here has a connotation that the person is someone they trust and would confide in.
(2) The name Tosa (トサ) looks exactly the same written here in the alphabet, but it is written differently in Yuuri’s comment (土佐). This is to show that Yuuri is thinking about the Tosa Province in feudal Japan which is now known as Kouchi Prefecture. The famous samurai/politician Ryouma Sakamoto is from this area.
*.*.*.*.*
Lord Gwendal von Voltaire, the eldest son of the three demon brothers who look nothing alike and the man who wouldn’t mind collapsing from overwork if it was for the prosperity and glory of The Great Demon Kingdom, walked with his usual dour face as he lamented over his misfortune.
In the first place, this territory is under the direct control of the Demon King and he is now in a stone hallway in Blood Pledge Castle that was built in the royal capital - not his own castle in the Voltaire region that he governs over. Just a few days ago, he was summoned to the capital and forced to take care of all kinds of official duties as the representative of His Majesty, the current Demon King. Just how many pending problems had he put temporary policies into play for and how many request forms had he signed as a proxy?
Of course if the office work at the capital falls behind there will be disorder in the kingdom, but if things keep going as they are, he’ll end up the regent of the current Demon King. This isn’t funny. Like he’ll tolerate being made the regent of that troublesome kid? If Yuuri himself were there, he would probably at least jokingly say ‘How cruel.’ Imagining that, Gwendal cheers up a bit.
Anyway.
He managed to do something about the urgent matters. Gwendal should now be released. Perhaps he would be able to return to his home tomorrow. When he gets back, the first thing he’ll work on is completing Bandou Eiji that he had left half finished. After that, he’s going to put a yellow collar on the kitty he is fostering. Of course, both of these are knitted animals. Since The Red Devil is away on vacation, he can immerse himself in his hobby in peace.
Hearing the voices of people coming around the corner, Gwendal hardens his face once again from the relaxed expression that had found its way onto it. If someone found it odd for him to be grinning, he doesn’t know what sort of rumor will be started.
The ones who came around the corner in a dispute are the king and his retainer - Yuuri and Günter. Because of their negligence… his blood pressure rose instantaneously.
“… What?”
However, as the pair passed by without noticing him, he saw a small black shadow trailing behind them. Hiding behind pillars and such, it seems that it is stalking them.
“A stalker? In the castle?”
Be that as it may, just why exactly do they not notice this when it’s following so close behind them? He can only think that it is because they have become lax as important people to the kingdom. Lord von Voltaire immediately runs forward with his long legs, quickly grabs the pursuer by their neck and lifts them off the ground. They’re very petite. No, rather than petite, they’re small. After they’re lifted up, their legs flail about in the air.
“… A child?”
“Aw-that’s-mean-I’m-not-a-kid-you-know-even-though-I-look-like-this-I’m-already-an-adult-anyway-uh-can-you-let-me-down-please-no-no-I’m-not-a-suspicious-person-I-am-clearly-not-a-questionable-person-however.” (1)
He has white and grey clothes on and flat-soled shoes. His golden brown hair is neither short nor long and his face cannot be categorized as beautiful, but the always moving glint in his eyes shows that he is a quick thinker. Gwendal realizes he is a boy as he carefully observes him, but there isn’t really anything masculine about him.
“You don’t really stand out.”
“Ah-this-what-this? This-these clothes and shoes are a new product that I just bought recently. With a little bit of magic, my footsteps disappear and with a little bit of magic, I don’t look like a predator.”
“… Then it’s just camouflage.”
“No-it’s-nothing-of-the-sort-I-got-it-at-a-recently-established-and-convenient-store-named-The-Queen’s-Design.”
Is that by chance a store for Anissina’s inventions!?
“Uhhhh-I’m-a-bit-late-in-introducing-myself-but…”
“I won’t say anything bad, but it is in your best interests to not touch anything in that store.”
“Eh-why-there-are-a-lot-of-interesting-things-there-like-magic-powered-laundry-clips-and-magic-powered-sleeve-roller-uppers-the-fact-that-the-consumers-are-never-told-just-what-part-of-the-products-is-magical-is-what’s-surreptitiously-making-the-place-famous… kyaa!”
After hearing someone defending the creations of Anissina, his childhood friend, his knitting teacher, his lifelong nemesis, one of The Great Demon Kingdom’s Three Great Witches, The Red Devil, Gwendal became incredibly furious.
Do you have any idea how much flagrant abuse he has received as an unhappy guinea pig for those lucky few products to receive surreptitious fame?
He no longer thinks ‘now that I look at him with his big and round eyes like a small animal, he might be cute’ and he turns toward Günter and Yuuri who still haven’t noticed the commotion behind them and throws the small stalker at them.
“What-is-this-is-this-another-magic-powered-catapult-or-something-hyooo….. oomph!”
He had wonderful aim.
----
(1) This person just randomly says ‘however’ at the end of some of his sentences. He also randomly switches back and forth between talking super fast and normally. Don’t let it confuse annoy you ^-^
*.*.*.*.*
“Allow-me-to-properly-introduce-myself-however.”
After the two of them got lumps in the same place, the stalker finally introduces himself in Günter’s private room. Günter gazes at the business card he is handed and reads aloud.
“The Central Literary Institute of The Great Demon Kingdom… Badwik Folkloke… Editor… So does that mean you have come to the castle for a news story? Ah, you are certainly not here to publish a picture collection of His Majesty, are you?”
Even when they are sitting down together, there is still a difference in height like with a child and adult. The petite man who called himself Badwik narrows his small-animal-like eyes and waves his hand in front of his face.
“No no no, this time I am not here for His Majesty, ah-no-well-if-it-is-permissible-I-would-be-honored-to-create-an-official-picture-collection-of-His-Majesty-the-27th-Demon-King, but you see this time I am here about your diary.”
“Diary!?”
Günter’s chair makes a loud noise as he stands up and hurriedly looks around. It’s his private room so there is no one else around and because it’s a western style room, Mary isn’t watching from the other side of the paper doors. Of course, the walls don’t have ears either. (1)
“A-a diary? Just what sort of diary are you speaking of!?”
“Actually-it’s-something-a-friend-of-mine-got-a-hold-of-however. That friend is a man that has devoted body and spirit to the soul of His Majesty the great True King and has chosen to live a life that one steeped in worldliness such as I can’t even imagine however.”
Gulp.
Sitting in front of this fast-talking editor who smiled sociably as his dark brown eyes flitted about the room, the only thing Günter was able to do without revealing the agitation he felt was to give a small nod.
“Let-me-see-it-is-in-a-place-that-is-called-in-common-terms-a-garden-of-learning-however. I’m-sure-you-know-but-the-daily-life-there-is-very-austere-and-strict-not-just-the-hair-on-the-head-and-eyebrows-but-all-the-hair-on-the-body-is-removed-and-they’re-made-all-sleek-and-smooth.
“Sl-sleek and smooth?”
He questioned in a way to feign ignorance, but he was already fully aware of this. After all, it was just a half a month before that he had come back from a trial period at that garden of learning due to a slight misunderstanding. Even if he tried to, he would never be able to forget that place where the monks of indeterminate age lived life completely disconnected from reality.
“And-you-know-what-and-you-know-what? My-friend-has-told-me-that-lately-they-have-enjoyed-a-private-pleasure-from-a-certain-diary-being-passed-around-that-was-transcribed-in-utmost-secrecy-however! Oh-and-it’s-in-the-form-of-a-short-novel-about-forbidden-love-and-adventure-and-friendship-between-men-and-all-sorts-of-fascinating-things-that’s-an-unstoppable-mine-cart-that-you-can’t-stop-reading-once-you-pick-up!”
Günter was perspiring unpleasantly on his back and his cleavage (although he doesn’t have any) as he looked at the cheerful Badwik.
He remembers.
He really remembers.
At bedtime on the first day of his trial period, the head monk and the self-important and boorish monk both inconsiderately commented on and confiscated his diary. It was not returned until he left on the last day of the trial period. What if it had been copied word for word by someone on the inside? Um, what if that would-be masterpiece ‘A Love Diary Composed in Summer’ was seen by all of the people at that monastery? Whether he was aware of the screaming in Günter’s heart or not, the editor suddenly changed the topic.
“And so, Your Excellency Lord von Christ, do you know what sort of novels are being read on the streets nowadays?”
“Ah, yes, um… ‘Record of the Drunken War’ I believe?”
Badwik slaps his knee joyfully.
“Exactly! It’s a deeply moving piece of literature on a grand scale about a certain king who loses everything simply because of his drunken fighting, but never gives up and with his companions, who have sworn allegiance to him, rebuilds his country! And what else?”
“I… am well-versed in books for education, however I am not quite as enlightened on novels intended for the general public… If I remember correctly, I heard of the title ‘Fish Wars.’” (2)
“Yes yes! It is an amusing story about an acrobatic troupe of marine life under a false front that is in fact a group of beautiful warriors who use illusions of fish in a war to gain influence for the ocean however! That one has many expansions and has even been made into an opera. There’s a big rumor that if the theme song is played the sales of seafood go up. Both-of-these-are-published-by-The-Central-Literary-Institute-of-The-Great-Demon-Kingdom-thank-you-very-much-for-the-popularity-it-has-received.”
Now that he has been thanked with a business smile, it is difficult to tell Badwik that he hasn’t read either of them. In the heat of the moment, against his better judgment he says in a good-natured way that he cried at the climax.
“However,” the editor Badwik continues with a slightly despondent expression, “I’m afraid to say that among the books that we have to work with, no, this is a problem that affects the publishing business across the world… there are next to no works that women would enjoy.”
“That women would… I see.”
Lord von Christ was absolutely not sexist. He had never thought even once that ‘women and children do not need an education!’ Actually, his adopted daughter Gisela had studied healing magic at the kingdom’s highest institute of learning and was now an active military officer in the medical division. Despite this, the reason he gave this vague answer was because he could not easily imagine Lady Celi or Anissina enjoying a novel.
Her Majesty the Previous King, Lady Cecilie von Spitzweg, only ever read the love letters she received from men and Lady von Karbelnikoff, The Mad Magicalist Anissina, only read massive, ancient documents detailing evil magic of legend.
Literary works aimed at women? What sort of things would those be?
“Of-course-there-are-the-rare-women-who-deeply-enjoy-military-histories-and-academic-books-however! But-however-many-of-the-ladies-surely-wish-for-more-teen-love-comedies-and-epic-love-stories-that-set-their-hearts-aflutter! Tears scattering on the wind! Feelings rushing out! Lovers who wish to be together but their destinies keep them apart!”
That is not comedy.
Hesitating on making that comment, Günter was forced to take a sip of his tea. There was an indescribable aura coming from Badwik as he passionately spoke.
“And then it hit me! It was my duty as a man in the publishing business to publish novels that the career women of the kingdom could enjoy while on break, that the housewives managing the families could enjoy between their housework and that the young daughters can discuss between classes. A-flesh-and-blood-book-the-ladies-can-look-forward-with-excitement-yes-that-is-the-beginning-of-the-story-the-key-to-the-world-the-journey-starts-now!”
“I-I have also sort of come to have that feeling.”
“Right!?”
To be honest, he had no idea what the last part meant, but not even the lunch bell can stop an editor who has started talking about literature. Even Lord von Christ got caught up in the mood and was just nodding at his small companion.
“I’m-sure-you’ve-already-guessed-what-I’m-trying-to-say-by-now-however.”
Therefore when Badwik said that, he hadn’t the slightest idea of what exactly he was supposed to have figured out. Does he want the approval of The Great Demon Kingdom’s official Royal Advisor as publicity for his books?
The passionate editor leaned forward with the short upper-half of his body and continued in a low but strong voice.
“… I want to publish Your Excellency’s diary.”
“Ah, my diary… publish?”
The two words spun around in his head and the lump on there he had gotten before suddenly began to heat up.
Diary diary diary, publish publish publish.
Publish, verb. To print books, documents, etc. and distribute them. Taken from ‘The New Great Demon Kingdom Dictionary.’
The dreadful meaning of the simple word slowly soaks into Günter’s head.
“We in The Women and Children’s Division of The Entertainment Literature Publication Department at The Central Literary Institute of The Great Demon Kingdom would absolutely love to commercially publish ‘A Love Diary Composed in Summer’ written by Your Excellency Günter however!”
“Eh!? Ehh!? Ehhhhh!? Certainly not my love diary!? No but that is actually the second volume and the one before that is ‘A Dream Diary that Starts in Spring’ but no that’s not the problem, that is a secret, an absolute secret! I mean, His Majesty and I… eh, ah, uh, umm it is simply a slightly dramatized recounting of my loyalty and confidence…” (3)
“I know. Ah-I-was-deeply-moved-it’s-a-frankly-recorded-masterpiece-of-the-forbidden-love-and-discord-between-a-master-and-servant.”
“No, like I said it is ostensibly about loyalty and confidence…”
“But no matter how you read it, it’s about love and discord isn’t it?”
He’s been found out. He’s been completely found out.
Before the penetrating eyes of an experienced editor, the resistance of an amateur is near futile. The super beauty who is the tutor and royal advisor to the current Demon King began sweating around his orderly eyebrows, his temples and even under his grey hair. Scalp check please.
“L-l-l-love and discord of all things, that’s ridiculous tosa!”
“Oh Your Excellency, are you from Tosa? Actually, my relative’s friend’s teacher’s mother’s old lover was born at Lake Tosa however. I have travelled to the travel depot out of wanting the nostalgia of hearing the accent of my birthplace.”
He has no relation whatsoever to Lake Tosa, but Günter decides it is best to go along with it.
With a smile that has no feeling of any malice, the editor puts down the tea cup he had been holding with both hands.
“How about it? Will you allow the story of the unrequited love and conflict disguised as loyalty towards His Majesty be published for the ladies who hope for a romance novel? Ah, of course I don’t mind if you wish to make changes to hide your identity such as using fake names of places, people and jobs. In-that-case-I-Badwik-will-help-you-in-that-endeavor-despite-my-poor-abilities-however!”
“Saying it is unrequited is mean!”
Assaulted by a buzzing in the ears like an army of bees is flying around, Günter rocked his body left and right with an irregular timing.
“Ah, and then that previous volume ‘A Dream Diary that Starts in Spring’ was it? If you’re willing, I would also like to read that one as well. Actually-there-aren’t-enough-pages-in-the-love-diary-and-the-introduction-is-a-bit-abrupt. And if there are any anecdotes and the like that may help in understanding the personalities of the characters, I believe it will firmly grab the ladies hearts however. For example, ‘Ah His Majesty is sooooo cuuute’ or ‘How Lord Weller aaaalways takes all the good parts is cooooool’ or ‘Don’t give up the game, Skinny Frog, His Excellency is here!’” (4)
“His Majesty is sooo cuuute? In other words, that anecdote would be a charming story that would make the sweetness of His Majesty known?”
When it comes to searching for His Majesty the current Demon King’s sweetness, there is no one better suited for the job - although he doesn’t want to boast about it. By the way, if any misguided fellow tried to overtake him in this area, they would probably be burnt to a crisp by his jealous glare.
Suddenly met with an energetic Günter, the editor makes a confused face.
“If so than I have as much as you need! Among the recent charming incidents, there is an excellent one that I absolutely cherish…”
“Ah, just as I thought-pon, ah, excuse me, just as I thought however!”
Rather than loyalty, it is love.
(1) There is an urban legend in Japan that if you’re alone, doing something you’re not supposed to or think that no one is watching, ‘The walls have ears and the paper doors have eyes’ (kabe ni mimi ari, shouji ni me ari). There is a popular joke that then goes ‘The walls have ears and Mary is at the papers doors’ because the way to say ‘have/has eyes’ (me ari) is almost exactly like how Mary is written in Japanese phonology (mearii). ---> Kabe ni mimi ari, shouji ni mearii.
(2) These are spoofs on anime: Record of Lodoss War and Sakura Wars.
(3) The part where Günter says it’s a secret is actually a joke on the nickname for the series, MaruMa, which is the character ma (マ) in a circle (maru) ---> ㋮. The first time Günter says secret, it has this character for secret (秘) (pronounced 'hi') written in a circle and then Günter says 'it's MaruHi!' The publishing company custom made that character in a circle. I can't even type it for you - though I tried! Technically I couldn't even type ㋮. I had to copy and paste that from somewhere. I know how to do it in Word, but not here ^-^;;;;
(4) The ‘don’t give up Skinny Frog’ is a joke on a famous haiku poem by Issa Kobayashi. The original is ‘Don’t give up Skinny Frog, Issa is here!’ Extra info: Apparently he was in a writing slump when he came up with the poem and he happened to come across a frog. He saw himself in the frog desperately fighting with another creature and he named the frog Issa.
---
Well, that’s the end of the huge prologue! I’ll be working on the next story in this book on and off (because it’s really long). It’s called ‘Jajakuma Narashi’ which is a joke on ‘Jajauma Narashi’ which is the Japanese title of ‘The Taming of the Shrew.’ I guess I’ll call it ‘The Taming of the Bear.’ Depending on how the narrative is broken up, I might release the story in multiple parts. But! The next thing I’m putting out is definitely going to be chapter 5 of TenMa.
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