its gotten to be boring...
down here its cool but so isolated from campus... the guys have deserted us and hang out at the coffeehouse or up on campus while like 3 of us chill on the stoop all night long... the past 2 nights ive given up...
im too lazy to figure out how im gonna get up and down the hill or ask a male dude to escort me cuz i got save those up for when im really gonna need them... everyone on upper campus is chillin all over up there while we're down here... i love it cuz we're one tight fam with crazy snacks of the evening popping up but like last night i went to bed at 9:30 and did nothing before that
i totally woke up every hour and apparently talked in my sleep.. it was crazy! but i dont think it helped. there is nothing to do at night anymore... internet is soooooooooo boring cuz no one is on and im too lazy to do someting on here besides talk to people yet im too lazy to talk... im starting to like this little invention we call "cell phone" cuz it comes in handy. last night the usual crowd who stays up with me til like 2am goes and came in right after me... they all gave up after i did and hit the sack.. man i hope im not their only entertainment cuz they havent seen my bipolar side... its kickin in right now... i feel it... its like when i start picking stuff and people apart in my head.... like saying over and over again THIS IS BORING!!!! OMG I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!
i really am in an utter state of confusement... i have all this stuff right infront of me and im using nothing... i havent said the rosary in days or gone to the chapel cuz there is no adoration yet and i feel its weird to be in a chapel without adoration cuz idk im accustomed to that and im really glad ive gone to mass daily but thats not special... ive met people that have a certain hour daily set aside for something.. i feel so left out... and mass and rosary are said differently... i feel like some outsider sometimes... there are like 10 parts to the rosary they have added and i just mumble during this which is nuts and lame! there are weird parts in mass that they sing like stuff i never heard in a different way and immediately after the last song they drop to the kneelers to pray after mass. everyone in my building has some hidden craft... i have none! i can somewhat braid hair if that counts but i cant make rosaries or knit or whatever else you can do with yarn or string.
im in such a weird mood... yesterday i kinda felt sick today i dont feel like doing anything and i dont feel anything... once again im a blob! ugh i hate blobs and im getting really scared about being nice again... ok weird guys have been talking to me... is it my niceness that causes this? or is it that im the weird one that thinks its weird that everyone is too nice and memorizes all the stats i tell them about myself yet i know nothing about these people... idk im really weirded out here and its so weird here... its nothing like i expected... everyone here is NORMAL!!! and they all like smoke in your face constantly!!! ok dont listen to anything i say but i love it here yet idk im missing something... fudge i realized what it is! im fudgin not centered on God and im in the best place to do it! omg i waste so much time doing nothing and im really getting scared preppin for saturday....
saturday is gonna hit me like a ton of bricks and im gonna be crying for who knows how long... ive decided to partake in a abortion clinic outreach thing where we pray outside the clinic so i gotta wake up for mass at 6am then we are going to pittsburgh.... omg i watched the video for this and i literally started to cry cuz just seeing the roughness of the people that are "pro choice" and in their bright yellow "pro choice" shirts and guarding the abortioning lady and keeping her from the pro lifers omg its so disgusting... they are literally like throwing this lady into the clinic to "protect her from us" and omg i know i wouldnt be able to actually talk to the lady because i just would get too upset or try and fight the bad guys and just get too worked up!
ok right now i gotta wait for julie my roomate to finish her shower and its like 20 to 12.... im really bored! i feel like bingeing
im too lazy to figure out how im gonna get up and down the hill or ask a male dude to escort me cuz i got save those up for when im really gonna need them... everyone on upper campus is chillin all over up there while we're down here... i love it cuz we're one tight fam with crazy snacks of the evening popping up but like last night i went to bed at 9:30 and did nothing before that
i totally woke up every hour and apparently talked in my sleep.. it was crazy! but i dont think it helped. there is nothing to do at night anymore... internet is soooooooooo boring cuz no one is on and im too lazy to do someting on here besides talk to people yet im too lazy to talk... im starting to like this little invention we call "cell phone" cuz it comes in handy. last night the usual crowd who stays up with me til like 2am goes and came in right after me... they all gave up after i did and hit the sack.. man i hope im not their only entertainment cuz they havent seen my bipolar side... its kickin in right now... i feel it... its like when i start picking stuff and people apart in my head.... like saying over and over again THIS IS BORING!!!! OMG I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!
i really am in an utter state of confusement... i have all this stuff right infront of me and im using nothing... i havent said the rosary in days or gone to the chapel cuz there is no adoration yet and i feel its weird to be in a chapel without adoration cuz idk im accustomed to that and im really glad ive gone to mass daily but thats not special... ive met people that have a certain hour daily set aside for something.. i feel so left out... and mass and rosary are said differently... i feel like some outsider sometimes... there are like 10 parts to the rosary they have added and i just mumble during this which is nuts and lame! there are weird parts in mass that they sing like stuff i never heard in a different way and immediately after the last song they drop to the kneelers to pray after mass. everyone in my building has some hidden craft... i have none! i can somewhat braid hair if that counts but i cant make rosaries or knit or whatever else you can do with yarn or string.
im in such a weird mood... yesterday i kinda felt sick today i dont feel like doing anything and i dont feel anything... once again im a blob! ugh i hate blobs and im getting really scared about being nice again... ok weird guys have been talking to me... is it my niceness that causes this? or is it that im the weird one that thinks its weird that everyone is too nice and memorizes all the stats i tell them about myself yet i know nothing about these people... idk im really weirded out here and its so weird here... its nothing like i expected... everyone here is NORMAL!!! and they all like smoke in your face constantly!!! ok dont listen to anything i say but i love it here yet idk im missing something... fudge i realized what it is! im fudgin not centered on God and im in the best place to do it! omg i waste so much time doing nothing and im really getting scared preppin for saturday....
saturday is gonna hit me like a ton of bricks and im gonna be crying for who knows how long... ive decided to partake in a abortion clinic outreach thing where we pray outside the clinic so i gotta wake up for mass at 6am then we are going to pittsburgh.... omg i watched the video for this and i literally started to cry cuz just seeing the roughness of the people that are "pro choice" and in their bright yellow "pro choice" shirts and guarding the abortioning lady and keeping her from the pro lifers omg its so disgusting... they are literally like throwing this lady into the clinic to "protect her from us" and omg i know i wouldnt be able to actually talk to the lady because i just would get too upset or try and fight the bad guys and just get too worked up!
ok right now i gotta wait for julie my roomate to finish her shower and its like 20 to 12.... im really bored! i feel like bingeing