State of the cartoonist update (now with bonus imaginary cookies!)
You'll notice there's no comic today, either. Hopefully next week will be different? Odds are 50/50, though.
There's a reason there's no comic today, and it's also the reason updates have been so spotty lately, and I'll talk to you about that behind the cut, where you can pretend we're sitting down for tea and cookies (the cookies can be vegan or gluten-free or loaded with candied bacon or however you like, because this is all in your ~*imagination*~) while I pour my heart out to you and possibly share more than I should.
If you don't want to hear the long story, allow me to summarize:
- Artist is having creative issues and personal issues.
- Burnout is imminent.
- Updates will be spotty until this is corrected.
For everyone else who is curious or just wants to gorge on imaginary cookies, I'll catch you behind the LJ-cut.
So things have been a little tough lately. I've moved to a brand new city I'd never been to before, where I don't know anyone - and I'm an introvert with social anxiety issues. Telling me to go out and meet people is like telling an oven to wash dishes: I'm not sure if I'm equipped to be able to do that. And when I'm stressed about not being able to wash dishes, I end up undercooking the cake I was supposed to make.
Also my metaphors tend to involve baked goods and not make a lot of sense. Actually, that was a simile, wasn’t it? Hell, I don’t even know anymore.
So I'm stressed and also I'm working hard, and it's clearly having an effect on the comic production and overall how I feel about the comic. OPB started for a lot of reasons. I really wanted to write a long-running mystery comic and challenge myself as a cartoonist. It's all in the name of growing and having fun, right? Anyway, I sat down, plotted the whole thing over a few weeks/months, and had the story down to each last twist and plot point.
This is part of the problem. I've been writing it since 2007, and it's almost 2012. I am unfortunately a fickle creature, and I write comics that end because I know I'm going to get bored and want to do something new.
OPB's main story is so tight that I can't deviate from it much. It's stifling me, in a way. I have had the next page half-sketched for weeks now and I can't bring myself to just put pencil to paper and finish it. I am also aware how crazy that sounds, and I appeal to you to be kind and understand that the fact that feeling like I can't do it is deeply upsetting to me.
OPB may've been a good idea, but as a friend put it, "Possibly the fact that you've gone through hell while making it has put a damper on your enthusiasm." Which is true. I started planning OPB in late 07. In the time since, I've been through everything from hurricanes to grad school and a lot of stuff in between. My personal issues translate to creative issues, and that has been a problem with OPB. As real life eats more of my time, I have to slow the updates down, and as the updates slow, OPB lasts longer, and I get more and more antsy.
There are about 200 pages left, and right now I don't know if I can draw them all.
This may pass. I may feel better and go back to 3x a week. Or I may post the scripts to the rest of the issues so you can see read them and get some closure that way. I mean, the story's done; I just have to pretty it up a little.
God, this is long and potentially overshare-y. Did anyone read this? Does anyone still care? But that's what's going on with me.
So how're you today?
There's a reason there's no comic today, and it's also the reason updates have been so spotty lately, and I'll talk to you about that behind the cut, where you can pretend we're sitting down for tea and cookies (the cookies can be vegan or gluten-free or loaded with candied bacon or however you like, because this is all in your ~*imagination*~) while I pour my heart out to you and possibly share more than I should.
If you don't want to hear the long story, allow me to summarize:
- Artist is having creative issues and personal issues.
- Burnout is imminent.
- Updates will be spotty until this is corrected.
For everyone else who is curious or just wants to gorge on imaginary cookies, I'll catch you behind the LJ-cut.
So things have been a little tough lately. I've moved to a brand new city I'd never been to before, where I don't know anyone - and I'm an introvert with social anxiety issues. Telling me to go out and meet people is like telling an oven to wash dishes: I'm not sure if I'm equipped to be able to do that. And when I'm stressed about not being able to wash dishes, I end up undercooking the cake I was supposed to make.
Also my metaphors tend to involve baked goods and not make a lot of sense. Actually, that was a simile, wasn’t it? Hell, I don’t even know anymore.
So I'm stressed and also I'm working hard, and it's clearly having an effect on the comic production and overall how I feel about the comic. OPB started for a lot of reasons. I really wanted to write a long-running mystery comic and challenge myself as a cartoonist. It's all in the name of growing and having fun, right? Anyway, I sat down, plotted the whole thing over a few weeks/months, and had the story down to each last twist and plot point.
This is part of the problem. I've been writing it since 2007, and it's almost 2012. I am unfortunately a fickle creature, and I write comics that end because I know I'm going to get bored and want to do something new.
OPB's main story is so tight that I can't deviate from it much. It's stifling me, in a way. I have had the next page half-sketched for weeks now and I can't bring myself to just put pencil to paper and finish it. I am also aware how crazy that sounds, and I appeal to you to be kind and understand that the fact that feeling like I can't do it is deeply upsetting to me.
OPB may've been a good idea, but as a friend put it, "Possibly the fact that you've gone through hell while making it has put a damper on your enthusiasm." Which is true. I started planning OPB in late 07. In the time since, I've been through everything from hurricanes to grad school and a lot of stuff in between. My personal issues translate to creative issues, and that has been a problem with OPB. As real life eats more of my time, I have to slow the updates down, and as the updates slow, OPB lasts longer, and I get more and more antsy.
There are about 200 pages left, and right now I don't know if I can draw them all.
This may pass. I may feel better and go back to 3x a week. Or I may post the scripts to the rest of the issues so you can see read them and get some closure that way. I mean, the story's done; I just have to pretty it up a little.
God, this is long and potentially overshare-y. Did anyone read this? Does anyone still care? But that's what's going on with me.
So how're you today?