A Place to Call Home - Chapter 02-Changes
Title: A Place to Call Home - Chapter 02 Changes
Author: othermewriter
Chapter Rating: PG - Series Rating: Adult
Warnings: Consequences of that year that never was (abuse, mentions of non-con) HEAVY ANGST
Characters: 10/Female!Master, Jack
Disclaimer: not mine, and so not making money from this I try not to dwell on it too much :(
A/N: Muses are strange creatures never quite agreeing on what I should write thus came another chapter of the place to home home story.
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My eyes go wide as I stare at the Master’s body. Before me, lying in the Master’s clothing is Rose. My beautiful Rose returned to me. I don’t know how but all I can think of is what happened at the Game Station, her desperate words even as she burned with all the fire of Time and Space raging through her. ‘I want you safe my Doctor, protected from the false god.’ I hope that somehow she has once again done the impossible, but then I know and my horror compounds into hysterical laughter and tears.
This isn't Rose as my hearts had hoped. It is still Koschei in spite of the womanly shape he now possesses. After everything that has happened, this is too much. Koschei looking like Rose is just to rich an irony for even me. Even the small comfort of his continued presence in my mind is dwarfed by the knowledge that he has taken the image of the one person I have loved, in spite of myself, after the war: Rose. The form of my sweet, kind, compassionate Rose has been stolen by the man who has repeatedly perpetrated horrendous atrocities and laughed in glee as his minions slaughtered a tenth of the Earth's population at his command.
Even as my stomach turns out the thin gruel I had been given to eat, a rational portion of my mind explains how very logical it is that he should take that form. Despite my desire not to, I understand his knowledge of my unfulfilled desires for Rose have mixed with his for me. Then there is probably the most driving of all, which is the knowledge that there are just two of us left, and in our race to procreate it takes two genders. In spite of the knowledge of looming, he has always been a hands-on kind of individual, and life finds a way whether the individuals are willing or not. Morbid curiosity makes me wonder if it had been I that was mortally wounded, would I have wound up a woman.
None of this logic blunts the irrational fury that boils up in me at his new form. I suddenly find myself struggling to free myself of Jack's now firm hold on my arms. I want answers, but even more I want to beat Koschei bloody for this in a way I haven't before at any of his other actions. As if reading my mind Jack asks, “Don’t you think he will be tormented more by being one of the women that he has so despised than anything you might do?”
At Jack’s words all my fury melts like a snowball in a desert sirocco and I realize that whatever challenges I would have faced being his jailer have now been radically compounded.
Now, I have a homicidal maniac to deal who will be even more unpredictable as she comes to terms with her new gender. With Koschei now looking like Rose it's going to be even harder to stay on guard around her; as if we didn't have enough history to come to terms with.
I feel Jack's grip loosen and I know that he now understands I am back under control. Angry as I was, I am now thankful of Jack’s presence even if I am beginning to think that I may be crazier then Koschei ever was taking this on, and if I'm not yet I may be soon.
Getting to my feet I wince as I am painfully reminded of my shoulder. Which I realize Jack has spotted as he asks, "You okay?"
"You know me Jack, I'm always okay," I state, giving him a one shoulder shrug.
"Yeah, right." Obviously not believing me any more then I do.
"I'll take..." and instead of continuing he just waves toward the Master.
As he lifts the Master's now much lighter female form into a fireman’s carry he states, "Even as bad off as she is, I figure the TARDIS is probably the safest place at this point." I can't help but agree as Jack heads down the hall towards our much damaged friend.
Verity hums weakly at me, and I can feel that, as angry as she is at the Master, she agrees.
‘I’m so very sorry Verity; I know how much he has hurt you…’ I hate this, hate having to ask her to shelter the Master after everything that he has done to her, but there is no other way.
‘Hush Theta, you are right, she belongs to us now.’ Something about the way she words her reply makes me nervous, yet I feel no hostile intent and I see no other course then to get us out of here as soon as possible. That is going to take awhile I realize yet again, as I stare in sorrow at the damage that has been done to Verity. My beautiful TARDIS has been so ripped up I don’t know how long it will take to get her healed enough that we will be able to travel anywhere.
My greater concern is what the humans will do. Even Jack and Martha, those that know me the best here, are having a difficult time coming to terms with my desire to see the Master live. I also know that it can’t be any easier on Jack than it is on me seeing the Master looking like Rose. Much as I at times felt jealous of Jack, there is no question in my mind he loved Rose. I don’t want to see him hurt more, especially now after he has spent so much time at the Masters mercy, all because of me. Yet still he has offered to help me get the Master to the TARDIS.
Never have I deserved Jack’s continued loyalty, but right now I know I couldn’t do this without his help. A point driven home even more as I watch him caress one of Verity’s coral struts and feel her practically purr as she gives him directions on where to find the medical bay. Through the door and off to the right two doors down we find the requested room and Jack quickly deposits his burden securing her hands and feet in the manacles that I know weren’t there previously.
Seeing Koschei looking so much like Rose makes my hearts ache and I don’t know if I want to examine to closely exactly why as I hear a small, very feminine whimper, come from that direction. As I take a step closer I suddenly feel very light headed. I look down and see fresh blood; my shoulder is again bleeding, as my legs decide that standing is over rated.
“Whoa Doc.” I hear from what seems to be very far away.
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I stare in horror as I see who the Master appears to have become, but it doesn't take a genius to understand why, as it has become obvious over this last year how the Master feels about the Doctor. I completely understand though the Doc's reaction as he loses his last meager meal and I begin to worry about him as he begins to laugh hysterically and wonder if this has finally pushed him over the edge.
I pull him toward me and hold him tightly as he begins to sob and then his emotions again turn on a dime and there is suddenly intense fury I feel from him. So it doesn't surprise me, when he violently tries to pull away, but I can't let him act on that emotion. Much as I would like to see the Doctor beat the stuffing out of him, I know that it will do neither of them any good. As it occurs to me in how much disdain the Master has held the women on board I remind the Doctor. His reaction is immediate as I feel him slump and much as I loathe the Master I know I can't leave the Doctor to face this alone.
Moments later he is up and as I see him wince, "You okay?" I ask, unsure if he will answer truthfully at the moment. So his answer doesn’t surprise me.
"You know me Jack, I'm always okay."
"Yeah, right." So much for any rapport we may have developed this year. Best to get the Master moved before he tries to move him, "I'll take..." and I just wave at the Master because I can’t quite bring myself to call him her yet. The idea of the Doctor changing has become something I just have come to expect after seeing so many versions of him, but the idea that his species could switch genders never really occurred to me. It’s still a bit too much to take in that the Master could change to be a mirror image of our Rose with a bullet though his brain.
Shaking my head I try to figure out where to, not really many choices are there? "Even as bad off as she is, I figure the TARDIS is probably the safest place at this point." I say almost to myself, but as I see the Doctor nod I head that direction. As we enter the TARDIS I can’t help but cringe at the damage that’s been done and gently caress one of her columns in apology for taking machine gun to her earlier in spite of the necessity. Her soft hum in my mind is a comfort, but I still feel bad for her and follow the Doctor into the infirmary. As I see the bed with the restraints I know where to put the Master down.
As I finish up I see the Doctor stagger forward and realize that shoulder wound that I had thought hadn’t been much more than a graze is definitely more than that based on the amount of blood. I feel the TARDIS’ concern as I move him over to one of the other beds. As rip his jacket additionally and I see the bullet hole and apply pressure to slow the flow of blood and I immediately wish had another set of hands.
As if in response to my thought I hear Martha call, “Jack?”
“In here, Martha.” I yell as I hear her call out. “I need your help.” Seconds later she comes barreling in the doorway.
“Jack, what’s …?”
“The bullet the Master took must have gone through into him.”
“Do you see an exit?” She asks even as she is moving to get the needed supplies.
As I go to move him to check, I hear the TARDI’S soft voice. ‘It’s no longer in his shoulder’ and look up to see that Martha has heard as well.
“Then we just need to get it cleaned and the bleeding stopped.”
I nod as she begins to cut her way up his sleeve to properly expose his shoulder.
As we work I notice his skin is getting colder by the moment. In spite of the number of times now that I have seen him heal himself this way it still makes me nervous when his temperature begins to plummet.
A moment later Martha comments, “God, he’s getting cold as ice Jack, get a blanket from the …”
“Healing coma,” at her odd look I explain further. “When the Doctor is severely injured he goes into a healing coma, his body temperature and respiration drop drastically. The first time I was expecting him to regenerate at any moment. He told me when he woke up again what to expect.”
The expression on her face is pained as she quietly asks, “How many times?”
At her question I realize that I have lost track and at her soft "oh" I know that she has figured that out and I don't even try to explain. She doesn't really need to know the details of some of things we went through or the pain and damage that the Master's laser screwdriver did each time he caused the Doctor to age rapidly into an old man before he finally decided to leave him that way most of the time.
She also doesn't need to know that at times I actually envied him these comas, as it meant that he got a temporary relief from the Master's sadistic entertainment.
Looking over at the remade Master I wonder what the future will hold. Whatever the case things are not going to be simple to untangle, much as I hated watching the pain the Doctor was in at the Master's refusal to regenerate. I suspect in the long run it would have been a far less painful result then what we will be faced with now, because I'll be damned if I let him go off on his own only to have to do battle later with two mad Time Lords. One of them nuts has given me more than enough to fuel my nightmares for several dozen life times.
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I see Jack pick up the body that had been the Master and now is some how inexplicably become an arguably cute blonde in the bloody, brain splattered suit. Whatever has happened has obviously upset them both which doesn’t make a lot of sense if the blonde is who I think she might be, but as limp as the body is I'm not even sure that she's still alive. That would definitely explain the Doctor's reaction. I make my apologies to my family as I put it together. Not sure how much more the Doctor can take if it turns out to be Rose returned to him, only to have died in the process. As I enter the TARDIS I hear Jack calling and the anguish in his voice makes me wonder what else has gone wrong. As I enter, Jack's brief explanation immediately sends me moving to collect the needed supplies. I am surprised when the TARDIS replies to my question about his shoulder and not Jack as she has never actually spoken to me before. But a lot of things are different now. It doesn't take a lot to get the Doctor stable as the wound has already stopped bleeding, but my relief at that is quickly subsumed by how cold he is becoming.
As I find out how Jack knows this is a normal reaction to trauma I realize how frequently he has been serious injured in the last year, a prospect that makes me shudder as I think of what they must have gone through under the Master's attentions.
As we finish up with the Doctor's shoulder, I know it's time to discuss the other resident in the room. "So Jack what's the story with her, is that Rose?"
With a grimace that doesn't bode well he replies, "That is the Master."
"What?" The thought boggles. "But that's a girl!"
"Don't let looks fool you; apparently Time Lords can switch gender."
"But, but he never said..."
"No, he didn't.” he states rather bitterly. “I never suspected either, as to the best of my knowledge they both have always been males. But that is only part of the complications; he also now looks like Rose."
At that pronouncement I feel ill. Having traveled with the Doctor I know exactly how much Rose meant to the Doctor. This news confirms my decision to quit traveling with him was the correct one. Even if he would let me with the Master on board I don't think I could stand being around two of them after everything I have seen this last year. No matter what happens next things are going to get ugly and I have seen more then enough. At this point I don't know if my family will ever forgive me for dragging them into this mess. With that thought I know it’s time to go.
Chapter 01
Author: othermewriter
Chapter Rating: PG - Series Rating: Adult
Warnings: Consequences of that year that never was (abuse, mentions of non-con) HEAVY ANGST
Characters: 10/Female!Master, Jack
Disclaimer: not mine, and so not making money from this I try not to dwell on it too much :(
A/N: Muses are strange creatures never quite agreeing on what I should write thus came another chapter of the place to home home story.
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My eyes go wide as I stare at the Master’s body. Before me, lying in the Master’s clothing is Rose. My beautiful Rose returned to me. I don’t know how but all I can think of is what happened at the Game Station, her desperate words even as she burned with all the fire of Time and Space raging through her. ‘I want you safe my Doctor, protected from the false god.’ I hope that somehow she has once again done the impossible, but then I know and my horror compounds into hysterical laughter and tears.
This isn't Rose as my hearts had hoped. It is still Koschei in spite of the womanly shape he now possesses. After everything that has happened, this is too much. Koschei looking like Rose is just to rich an irony for even me. Even the small comfort of his continued presence in my mind is dwarfed by the knowledge that he has taken the image of the one person I have loved, in spite of myself, after the war: Rose. The form of my sweet, kind, compassionate Rose has been stolen by the man who has repeatedly perpetrated horrendous atrocities and laughed in glee as his minions slaughtered a tenth of the Earth's population at his command.
Even as my stomach turns out the thin gruel I had been given to eat, a rational portion of my mind explains how very logical it is that he should take that form. Despite my desire not to, I understand his knowledge of my unfulfilled desires for Rose have mixed with his for me. Then there is probably the most driving of all, which is the knowledge that there are just two of us left, and in our race to procreate it takes two genders. In spite of the knowledge of looming, he has always been a hands-on kind of individual, and life finds a way whether the individuals are willing or not. Morbid curiosity makes me wonder if it had been I that was mortally wounded, would I have wound up a woman.
None of this logic blunts the irrational fury that boils up in me at his new form. I suddenly find myself struggling to free myself of Jack's now firm hold on my arms. I want answers, but even more I want to beat Koschei bloody for this in a way I haven't before at any of his other actions. As if reading my mind Jack asks, “Don’t you think he will be tormented more by being one of the women that he has so despised than anything you might do?”
At Jack’s words all my fury melts like a snowball in a desert sirocco and I realize that whatever challenges I would have faced being his jailer have now been radically compounded.
Now, I have a homicidal maniac to deal who will be even more unpredictable as she comes to terms with her new gender. With Koschei now looking like Rose it's going to be even harder to stay on guard around her; as if we didn't have enough history to come to terms with.
I feel Jack's grip loosen and I know that he now understands I am back under control. Angry as I was, I am now thankful of Jack’s presence even if I am beginning to think that I may be crazier then Koschei ever was taking this on, and if I'm not yet I may be soon.
Getting to my feet I wince as I am painfully reminded of my shoulder. Which I realize Jack has spotted as he asks, "You okay?"
"You know me Jack, I'm always okay," I state, giving him a one shoulder shrug.
"Yeah, right." Obviously not believing me any more then I do.
"I'll take..." and instead of continuing he just waves toward the Master.
As he lifts the Master's now much lighter female form into a fireman’s carry he states, "Even as bad off as she is, I figure the TARDIS is probably the safest place at this point." I can't help but agree as Jack heads down the hall towards our much damaged friend.
Verity hums weakly at me, and I can feel that, as angry as she is at the Master, she agrees.
‘I’m so very sorry Verity; I know how much he has hurt you…’ I hate this, hate having to ask her to shelter the Master after everything that he has done to her, but there is no other way.
‘Hush Theta, you are right, she belongs to us now.’ Something about the way she words her reply makes me nervous, yet I feel no hostile intent and I see no other course then to get us out of here as soon as possible. That is going to take awhile I realize yet again, as I stare in sorrow at the damage that has been done to Verity. My beautiful TARDIS has been so ripped up I don’t know how long it will take to get her healed enough that we will be able to travel anywhere.
My greater concern is what the humans will do. Even Jack and Martha, those that know me the best here, are having a difficult time coming to terms with my desire to see the Master live. I also know that it can’t be any easier on Jack than it is on me seeing the Master looking like Rose. Much as I at times felt jealous of Jack, there is no question in my mind he loved Rose. I don’t want to see him hurt more, especially now after he has spent so much time at the Masters mercy, all because of me. Yet still he has offered to help me get the Master to the TARDIS.
Never have I deserved Jack’s continued loyalty, but right now I know I couldn’t do this without his help. A point driven home even more as I watch him caress one of Verity’s coral struts and feel her practically purr as she gives him directions on where to find the medical bay. Through the door and off to the right two doors down we find the requested room and Jack quickly deposits his burden securing her hands and feet in the manacles that I know weren’t there previously.
Seeing Koschei looking so much like Rose makes my hearts ache and I don’t know if I want to examine to closely exactly why as I hear a small, very feminine whimper, come from that direction. As I take a step closer I suddenly feel very light headed. I look down and see fresh blood; my shoulder is again bleeding, as my legs decide that standing is over rated.
“Whoa Doc.” I hear from what seems to be very far away.
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I stare in horror as I see who the Master appears to have become, but it doesn't take a genius to understand why, as it has become obvious over this last year how the Master feels about the Doctor. I completely understand though the Doc's reaction as he loses his last meager meal and I begin to worry about him as he begins to laugh hysterically and wonder if this has finally pushed him over the edge.
I pull him toward me and hold him tightly as he begins to sob and then his emotions again turn on a dime and there is suddenly intense fury I feel from him. So it doesn't surprise me, when he violently tries to pull away, but I can't let him act on that emotion. Much as I would like to see the Doctor beat the stuffing out of him, I know that it will do neither of them any good. As it occurs to me in how much disdain the Master has held the women on board I remind the Doctor. His reaction is immediate as I feel him slump and much as I loathe the Master I know I can't leave the Doctor to face this alone.
Moments later he is up and as I see him wince, "You okay?" I ask, unsure if he will answer truthfully at the moment. So his answer doesn’t surprise me.
"You know me Jack, I'm always okay."
"Yeah, right." So much for any rapport we may have developed this year. Best to get the Master moved before he tries to move him, "I'll take..." and I just wave at the Master because I can’t quite bring myself to call him her yet. The idea of the Doctor changing has become something I just have come to expect after seeing so many versions of him, but the idea that his species could switch genders never really occurred to me. It’s still a bit too much to take in that the Master could change to be a mirror image of our Rose with a bullet though his brain.
Shaking my head I try to figure out where to, not really many choices are there? "Even as bad off as she is, I figure the TARDIS is probably the safest place at this point." I say almost to myself, but as I see the Doctor nod I head that direction. As we enter the TARDIS I can’t help but cringe at the damage that’s been done and gently caress one of her columns in apology for taking machine gun to her earlier in spite of the necessity. Her soft hum in my mind is a comfort, but I still feel bad for her and follow the Doctor into the infirmary. As I see the bed with the restraints I know where to put the Master down.
As I finish up I see the Doctor stagger forward and realize that shoulder wound that I had thought hadn’t been much more than a graze is definitely more than that based on the amount of blood. I feel the TARDIS’ concern as I move him over to one of the other beds. As rip his jacket additionally and I see the bullet hole and apply pressure to slow the flow of blood and I immediately wish had another set of hands.
As if in response to my thought I hear Martha call, “Jack?”
“In here, Martha.” I yell as I hear her call out. “I need your help.” Seconds later she comes barreling in the doorway.
“Jack, what’s …?”
“The bullet the Master took must have gone through into him.”
“Do you see an exit?” She asks even as she is moving to get the needed supplies.
As I go to move him to check, I hear the TARDI’S soft voice. ‘It’s no longer in his shoulder’ and look up to see that Martha has heard as well.
“Then we just need to get it cleaned and the bleeding stopped.”
I nod as she begins to cut her way up his sleeve to properly expose his shoulder.
As we work I notice his skin is getting colder by the moment. In spite of the number of times now that I have seen him heal himself this way it still makes me nervous when his temperature begins to plummet.
A moment later Martha comments, “God, he’s getting cold as ice Jack, get a blanket from the …”
“Healing coma,” at her odd look I explain further. “When the Doctor is severely injured he goes into a healing coma, his body temperature and respiration drop drastically. The first time I was expecting him to regenerate at any moment. He told me when he woke up again what to expect.”
The expression on her face is pained as she quietly asks, “How many times?”
At her question I realize that I have lost track and at her soft "oh" I know that she has figured that out and I don't even try to explain. She doesn't really need to know the details of some of things we went through or the pain and damage that the Master's laser screwdriver did each time he caused the Doctor to age rapidly into an old man before he finally decided to leave him that way most of the time.
She also doesn't need to know that at times I actually envied him these comas, as it meant that he got a temporary relief from the Master's sadistic entertainment.
Looking over at the remade Master I wonder what the future will hold. Whatever the case things are not going to be simple to untangle, much as I hated watching the pain the Doctor was in at the Master's refusal to regenerate. I suspect in the long run it would have been a far less painful result then what we will be faced with now, because I'll be damned if I let him go off on his own only to have to do battle later with two mad Time Lords. One of them nuts has given me more than enough to fuel my nightmares for several dozen life times.
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I see Jack pick up the body that had been the Master and now is some how inexplicably become an arguably cute blonde in the bloody, brain splattered suit. Whatever has happened has obviously upset them both which doesn’t make a lot of sense if the blonde is who I think she might be, but as limp as the body is I'm not even sure that she's still alive. That would definitely explain the Doctor's reaction. I make my apologies to my family as I put it together. Not sure how much more the Doctor can take if it turns out to be Rose returned to him, only to have died in the process. As I enter the TARDIS I hear Jack calling and the anguish in his voice makes me wonder what else has gone wrong. As I enter, Jack's brief explanation immediately sends me moving to collect the needed supplies. I am surprised when the TARDIS replies to my question about his shoulder and not Jack as she has never actually spoken to me before. But a lot of things are different now. It doesn't take a lot to get the Doctor stable as the wound has already stopped bleeding, but my relief at that is quickly subsumed by how cold he is becoming.
As I find out how Jack knows this is a normal reaction to trauma I realize how frequently he has been serious injured in the last year, a prospect that makes me shudder as I think of what they must have gone through under the Master's attentions.
As we finish up with the Doctor's shoulder, I know it's time to discuss the other resident in the room. "So Jack what's the story with her, is that Rose?"
With a grimace that doesn't bode well he replies, "That is the Master."
"What?" The thought boggles. "But that's a girl!"
"Don't let looks fool you; apparently Time Lords can switch gender."
"But, but he never said..."
"No, he didn't.” he states rather bitterly. “I never suspected either, as to the best of my knowledge they both have always been males. But that is only part of the complications; he also now looks like Rose."
At that pronouncement I feel ill. Having traveled with the Doctor I know exactly how much Rose meant to the Doctor. This news confirms my decision to quit traveling with him was the correct one. Even if he would let me with the Master on board I don't think I could stand being around two of them after everything I have seen this last year. No matter what happens next things are going to get ugly and I have seen more then enough. At this point I don't know if my family will ever forgive me for dragging them into this mess. With that thought I know it’s time to go.
Chapter 01