Part 03 - Chapter 42 - Moving on
Chapter 42 - Moving on
A/N: Many thanks to my wonderful beta
lostwolfchats for the quick turn around and excellent suggestions. ((Huggles)
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This whole situation has been untenable. Much as I know how necessary it was to remove Jimmy Stone from the time line, I don't find any real satisfaction in my actions; I lost control, nearly killing the creep when I saw how badly he had treated my Rose.
I know Rose didn't deserve any of what he did to her, any more than the others he hurt did, and where I left him he will get exactly what he deserves. They will have no compassion for him as he is forced to go 'cold turkey' as he withdraws from his addiction. I dislike the part of myself that delights in the fact he will suffer through that experience friendless, even though I know Anna went through the same because she was too poor and too ashamed of things she had done for him. I also know that, where I left him, things are going to go from bad to worse and in another eighty years, there will be a full-scale rebellion because of that slide.
As Jack had gone in to check on the noises from his bedroom, I looked at Jimmy's past, trying to unravel why he did such cruel things. What I found, instead of something for which I could have compassion, was a pattern of repeated abuse. He had beaten five women severely, two so badly they had to be hospitalized, one of which was my precious Rose. The last young lady I mentioned to him by name, Sarah, he had raped and beaten so badly she had barely come out of it alive. She had suffered brain damage and memory loss so extreme as to make it impossible for her to ever identify him. Worse, I know only his impotency due to his drug addiction had prevented him from visiting the same horror on my sweet compassionate Rose. For that alone I will lose no sleep over giving this one his just desserts. There will be no leniency for that kind behavior where I took him. I have ensured that he has to live with what he has done for a very long time as I made his survival a condition of leaving him. More than most, I know that having to live with what you have done can be a far greater punishment than actually being killed for your actions and that surviving doesn’t always mean living, or necessarily even having all of your parts intact. I wonder if he will learn that lesson before or after he loses a few.
Shaking away thoughts of Jimmy, I move us back into the vortex, heading back to the pleasure planet. It’s time to be moving on, not dwelling on a past to which I can make no more changes.
I think of all the lovely things I can pamper my Rose with, and smile. She has given me so much, shown me what living means again, and she deserves the best of everything for putting up with my crazy life and with me.
“Doctor?” I look up to see Jack watching me and I wonder what he makes of all of this. I hope he has seen enough to understand why I have done what I have without me having to spell it out for him.
“Yes?”
“If you don’t want Rose asking awkward questions, I suggest you change and patch up you hands.”
As I look down I realize I do rather look a worrisome, with both that creeps blood and that of Rose on me. It’s not the first time I have had blood on my hands, got more than most, but he’s right - there’s no sense worrying Rose.
With a bit of a rueful grin, I reply, “I do look a bit of a fright don’t I?” I inspect my soiled jumper and abraded hands; they look far worse than they really are, most of the gore being from Rose and Jimmy. Looking Jack in the eye, I state, “Well, I’ll be off then.” But as I reach the door, I know I need to say something. “Jack and I watch as he looks up from his contemplations of the console, “thanks.”
The look he gives me says it all, even before he says, “Anytime, Doc.”
As I head for the infirmary I check with Verity, 'She still asleep?'
'Yes, but ready to wake, I have been distracting her with dreams, but hurry.'
As I arrive, I quickly strip off my jumper and throw it in the medical clothes hamper, knowing Verity will take care of the cleaning. Quickly I run the dermal regenerator across my hands and wash the remaining traces of blood off. I don't want Rose worrying or asking questions I would rather not have to answer. I would rather help her to move on and not have to stir up those memories that are a source of her nightmares. I just wish that there were more that I could do.
As I reach the door, I see Rose exit our room and hope she hasn't seen which room I have just exited and that I have managed to rid myself of all the blood. At least her poor sense of smell and my black jeans play in my favor if I have missed any. "So you decided it was time to get up, did you? You humans and your habit for sleeping your life away!" I make sure my tone makes it clear I am only teasing with that statement and leave out the bitterness I sometimes feel at the time with her I lose to that pastime as I give her my best smile.
"Oh and what has you wandering around jumperless? Not like you at all," is her suspicious reply, but I can see the sparkle in her eye, as she looks me over, “not that I’m objecting!”
"Well, Jack is gone, and it is a pleasure planet."
She looks dubious and looking past me she says, spotting the partially open door behind me, "Uh huh, more likely you were looking up something in that library of yours.” Darting past me, she enters the room and I breathe a silent sigh of relief as she finds the library behind the door and a throw a silent 'Thank you' to Verity for anticipating her actions and moving the rooms around.
Verity's small burble of humor makes me smile. "You caught me," I state quietly in her ear as I embrace her from behind.
As she turns in my arms she states, "Think it's the other way around." Before distracting me with a kiss that quickly moves from playful to heated.
She breaks away, blushing furiously, as Jack makes a loud throat clearing noise. My reply is a bit sharp for being interrupted. "Thought you were off exploring the sights."
"Liking the sights just fine from here," he says, leering at the two of us, making it clear that he is enjoying seeing us dressed in far less than we wear normally as he leans casually against the wall.
At my lopsided grin, he states, “Just figured would check in and let you know I will be back here noonish local time tomorrow. Now don't do anything I wouldn't do you two.” Before I can reply, he has ducked out the door and is off.
With that adorable look of cheek on her face, Rose observes, "Now I wonder what that might be?"
I can't help return it her cheeky smile, as I think of quite a few things I would love to do with her.
Drawing her into my arms, I kiss her slowly and thoroughly. As I feel her need to breathe, I relinquish her lips.
She states quietly, "Pretty sure he's done that!"
"Mmmhmm," is my reply.
"Shall we take this back to our room?" she asks seductively.
As I put out my hand and wiggle my fingers in invitation, I am struck again how well our hands seem to mesh, almost as if made to fit together. I move my thumb over the back of her hand and think about how very soft and warm it is, so fragile and human. I am surprised as she stops abruptly and turns suddenly, plastering herself against me and holding me tightly about the middle and I am unprepared for the wave of gratitude she pours over my senses. "Rose?"
"Thank you," is her reply mumbled into my collarbone. I feel a wave of anger build that Verity would tell her about what I had just done. Verity's response is a quick and indignant, ‘Didn’t’, and I am confused, as I know without question that she is telling me the truth.
"Rose? What?” Gently I try to put a bit of space between us and she grips me tighter. Feeling her trembling, I envelope her in my arms trying to figure out what has upset her and just hold her as she has had to do for me far to many times. As she begins to regain her composure, I ask again. "Now what's this all about? Hmm?” The incredible vulnerability I see in her eyes causes my hearts to lurch in distress.
"You meant it didn't you?" at my confused expression she elaborates. "You really don't think I'm...” Her uncertainty makes me again curse Jimmy Stone and his cruelty.
"Rose, nothing you have told me changes my opinion of you one bit." At her obvious lack of comfort at my words I continue, "Rose, you are smart, compassionate, beautiful..."
She interrupts with, "For a human?" and I can see by the glint in her eye that she has accepted my reassurance, and so tease back with a smile, "Oi, now you’re fishing for complements you are."
The smile that lights up her face tells me that everything is going to be all right.
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The room is dark as I wake and, for the first time in a long time, I find it a bit disorienting - almost as if something is restraining me. Even as the feeling arrives it is banished by the bright cheerful glow with which Verity fills the room.
I feel a pang of disappointment as I realize the Doctor isn't here and suddenly very much want to be near him, make sure he is all right. As I exit the bedroom, I see him down the hall in the unusual attire of just his jeans and shoes. It really is sexy, but I can't resist teasing him about it, as he looks almost guilty at being caught out without jumper or jacket.
As I suspected, he had just popped down the hall to find some book. The man really is insatiable when it comes to things to distract him, not that I can exactly blame him. I imagine it gets hard when I go to sleep to keep diverted from his memories. Having left Jack at the pleasure planet while we went to see Doris and we faced both our own emotional scars, I figure he has probably been brooding and I am a bit surprised, but delighted, at his playful mood.
Even when Jack shows up and catches us snogging it doesn't seem to faze him. I suddenly feel a wave of thankfulness for this wonderful man who does so much for me, even caring for me in spite of my silly nightmare when he has endured so much worse. It seems wrong to even call my fear driven dreams a nightmare in the face of his horrific experiences.
I can't seem to stop thinking about how compassionate he has been and find myself trembling in spite of feeling stupid about my reaction. Still, his arms holding me always seem to make everything a bit better.
"Now what's this all about? Hmm?”
I know I shouldn't doubt what he told me but I have to ask, "You meant it didn't you?” At his confused expression, I explain. "You really don't think I'm...” I never get to finish as he interrupts.
"Rose, nothing you have told me changes my opinion of you one bit.” I can't believe it, does he mean it? "Rose, you are smart, compassionate, beautiful..." as he continues I am certain he does mean it.
When he states I am beautiful, I can't help tease him about the first time he told me that. "For a human?"
"Oi, now you’re fishing for complements you are.” I can't help the smile his mock indigence brings.
The smile that he gives me back tells me that everything is going to be all right.
Chapter 43 - Rest & Relaxation Moving Forward Index 1
A/N: Many thanks to my wonderful beta
lostwolfchats for the quick turn around and excellent suggestions. ((Huggles)
-----------------------------------------------
This whole situation has been untenable. Much as I know how necessary it was to remove Jimmy Stone from the time line, I don't find any real satisfaction in my actions; I lost control, nearly killing the creep when I saw how badly he had treated my Rose.
I know Rose didn't deserve any of what he did to her, any more than the others he hurt did, and where I left him he will get exactly what he deserves. They will have no compassion for him as he is forced to go 'cold turkey' as he withdraws from his addiction. I dislike the part of myself that delights in the fact he will suffer through that experience friendless, even though I know Anna went through the same because she was too poor and too ashamed of things she had done for him. I also know that, where I left him, things are going to go from bad to worse and in another eighty years, there will be a full-scale rebellion because of that slide.
As Jack had gone in to check on the noises from his bedroom, I looked at Jimmy's past, trying to unravel why he did such cruel things. What I found, instead of something for which I could have compassion, was a pattern of repeated abuse. He had beaten five women severely, two so badly they had to be hospitalized, one of which was my precious Rose. The last young lady I mentioned to him by name, Sarah, he had raped and beaten so badly she had barely come out of it alive. She had suffered brain damage and memory loss so extreme as to make it impossible for her to ever identify him. Worse, I know only his impotency due to his drug addiction had prevented him from visiting the same horror on my sweet compassionate Rose. For that alone I will lose no sleep over giving this one his just desserts. There will be no leniency for that kind behavior where I took him. I have ensured that he has to live with what he has done for a very long time as I made his survival a condition of leaving him. More than most, I know that having to live with what you have done can be a far greater punishment than actually being killed for your actions and that surviving doesn’t always mean living, or necessarily even having all of your parts intact. I wonder if he will learn that lesson before or after he loses a few.
Shaking away thoughts of Jimmy, I move us back into the vortex, heading back to the pleasure planet. It’s time to be moving on, not dwelling on a past to which I can make no more changes.
I think of all the lovely things I can pamper my Rose with, and smile. She has given me so much, shown me what living means again, and she deserves the best of everything for putting up with my crazy life and with me.
“Doctor?” I look up to see Jack watching me and I wonder what he makes of all of this. I hope he has seen enough to understand why I have done what I have without me having to spell it out for him.
“Yes?”
“If you don’t want Rose asking awkward questions, I suggest you change and patch up you hands.”
As I look down I realize I do rather look a worrisome, with both that creeps blood and that of Rose on me. It’s not the first time I have had blood on my hands, got more than most, but he’s right - there’s no sense worrying Rose.
With a bit of a rueful grin, I reply, “I do look a bit of a fright don’t I?” I inspect my soiled jumper and abraded hands; they look far worse than they really are, most of the gore being from Rose and Jimmy. Looking Jack in the eye, I state, “Well, I’ll be off then.” But as I reach the door, I know I need to say something. “Jack and I watch as he looks up from his contemplations of the console, “thanks.”
The look he gives me says it all, even before he says, “Anytime, Doc.”
As I head for the infirmary I check with Verity, 'She still asleep?'
'Yes, but ready to wake, I have been distracting her with dreams, but hurry.'
As I arrive, I quickly strip off my jumper and throw it in the medical clothes hamper, knowing Verity will take care of the cleaning. Quickly I run the dermal regenerator across my hands and wash the remaining traces of blood off. I don't want Rose worrying or asking questions I would rather not have to answer. I would rather help her to move on and not have to stir up those memories that are a source of her nightmares. I just wish that there were more that I could do.
As I reach the door, I see Rose exit our room and hope she hasn't seen which room I have just exited and that I have managed to rid myself of all the blood. At least her poor sense of smell and my black jeans play in my favor if I have missed any. "So you decided it was time to get up, did you? You humans and your habit for sleeping your life away!" I make sure my tone makes it clear I am only teasing with that statement and leave out the bitterness I sometimes feel at the time with her I lose to that pastime as I give her my best smile.
"Oh and what has you wandering around jumperless? Not like you at all," is her suspicious reply, but I can see the sparkle in her eye, as she looks me over, “not that I’m objecting!”
"Well, Jack is gone, and it is a pleasure planet."
She looks dubious and looking past me she says, spotting the partially open door behind me, "Uh huh, more likely you were looking up something in that library of yours.” Darting past me, she enters the room and I breathe a silent sigh of relief as she finds the library behind the door and a throw a silent 'Thank you' to Verity for anticipating her actions and moving the rooms around.
Verity's small burble of humor makes me smile. "You caught me," I state quietly in her ear as I embrace her from behind.
As she turns in my arms she states, "Think it's the other way around." Before distracting me with a kiss that quickly moves from playful to heated.
She breaks away, blushing furiously, as Jack makes a loud throat clearing noise. My reply is a bit sharp for being interrupted. "Thought you were off exploring the sights."
"Liking the sights just fine from here," he says, leering at the two of us, making it clear that he is enjoying seeing us dressed in far less than we wear normally as he leans casually against the wall.
At my lopsided grin, he states, “Just figured would check in and let you know I will be back here noonish local time tomorrow. Now don't do anything I wouldn't do you two.” Before I can reply, he has ducked out the door and is off.
With that adorable look of cheek on her face, Rose observes, "Now I wonder what that might be?"
I can't help return it her cheeky smile, as I think of quite a few things I would love to do with her.
Drawing her into my arms, I kiss her slowly and thoroughly. As I feel her need to breathe, I relinquish her lips.
She states quietly, "Pretty sure he's done that!"
"Mmmhmm," is my reply.
"Shall we take this back to our room?" she asks seductively.
As I put out my hand and wiggle my fingers in invitation, I am struck again how well our hands seem to mesh, almost as if made to fit together. I move my thumb over the back of her hand and think about how very soft and warm it is, so fragile and human. I am surprised as she stops abruptly and turns suddenly, plastering herself against me and holding me tightly about the middle and I am unprepared for the wave of gratitude she pours over my senses. "Rose?"
"Thank you," is her reply mumbled into my collarbone. I feel a wave of anger build that Verity would tell her about what I had just done. Verity's response is a quick and indignant, ‘Didn’t’, and I am confused, as I know without question that she is telling me the truth.
"Rose? What?” Gently I try to put a bit of space between us and she grips me tighter. Feeling her trembling, I envelope her in my arms trying to figure out what has upset her and just hold her as she has had to do for me far to many times. As she begins to regain her composure, I ask again. "Now what's this all about? Hmm?” The incredible vulnerability I see in her eyes causes my hearts to lurch in distress.
"You meant it didn't you?" at my confused expression she elaborates. "You really don't think I'm...” Her uncertainty makes me again curse Jimmy Stone and his cruelty.
"Rose, nothing you have told me changes my opinion of you one bit." At her obvious lack of comfort at my words I continue, "Rose, you are smart, compassionate, beautiful..."
She interrupts with, "For a human?" and I can see by the glint in her eye that she has accepted my reassurance, and so tease back with a smile, "Oi, now you’re fishing for complements you are."
The smile that lights up her face tells me that everything is going to be all right.
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The room is dark as I wake and, for the first time in a long time, I find it a bit disorienting - almost as if something is restraining me. Even as the feeling arrives it is banished by the bright cheerful glow with which Verity fills the room.
I feel a pang of disappointment as I realize the Doctor isn't here and suddenly very much want to be near him, make sure he is all right. As I exit the bedroom, I see him down the hall in the unusual attire of just his jeans and shoes. It really is sexy, but I can't resist teasing him about it, as he looks almost guilty at being caught out without jumper or jacket.
As I suspected, he had just popped down the hall to find some book. The man really is insatiable when it comes to things to distract him, not that I can exactly blame him. I imagine it gets hard when I go to sleep to keep diverted from his memories. Having left Jack at the pleasure planet while we went to see Doris and we faced both our own emotional scars, I figure he has probably been brooding and I am a bit surprised, but delighted, at his playful mood.
Even when Jack shows up and catches us snogging it doesn't seem to faze him. I suddenly feel a wave of thankfulness for this wonderful man who does so much for me, even caring for me in spite of my silly nightmare when he has endured so much worse. It seems wrong to even call my fear driven dreams a nightmare in the face of his horrific experiences.
I can't seem to stop thinking about how compassionate he has been and find myself trembling in spite of feeling stupid about my reaction. Still, his arms holding me always seem to make everything a bit better.
"Now what's this all about? Hmm?”
I know I shouldn't doubt what he told me but I have to ask, "You meant it didn't you?” At his confused expression, I explain. "You really don't think I'm...” I never get to finish as he interrupts.
"Rose, nothing you have told me changes my opinion of you one bit.” I can't believe it, does he mean it? "Rose, you are smart, compassionate, beautiful..." as he continues I am certain he does mean it.
When he states I am beautiful, I can't help tease him about the first time he told me that. "For a human?"
"Oi, now you’re fishing for complements you are.” I can't help the smile his mock indigence brings.
The smile that he gives me back tells me that everything is going to be all right.
Chapter 43 - Rest & Relaxation Moving Forward Index 1