iPod Fan Fic challenge
OK, so I did this meme thingy where you put your iPod on random, and then you write drabble-thingies in the time it takes for the song to play. There's no real theme, they might not make any sense, and my taste in music is somewhat... random. But whatever.
“All Cheerleaders Die” by Switchblade Kittens
“Go, team, go,” Kenny said, as he flipped through his dad’s old Playboy.
“Yeah,” Clyde said. “Listen, I know you guys can only afford shitty porn, but can’t I see the cheerleaders?”
“No.”
Clyde looked around the bare bedroom. The only decorations were a few bikini posters.
“I have Lesbian Cheerleaders 3 back at my house.”
“Well,” Kenny said, “fuck this.”
“A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton
“Have you ever wondered how we ended up where we are?” Stan asked.
“Not really,” Kyle lied into the phone. “Why?”
“No reason. I was just thinking. Weren’t we supposed to go to the same college, live in the same place, and be best friends forever?”
“We are best friends. It’s just that we can only see each other on holidays.”
“Maybe I should move to New York.”
“You don’t have to.” Kyle laughed. “Besides, what’s a thousand miles in this day and age? We talk all the time, and it’s not as if there’s no such thing as a plane.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Stan. “But it’s just not the same.”
“Yeah. I know what you mean.”
“Radium Eyes” by Count Zero
Stan had bright blue eyes.
Stan had blue eyes, and black hair, and perfect white teeth (without the benefit of orthodontia - Kyle could remember Stan laughing at him when they were twelve). He liked sports and the environment, oddly enough. Whenever Kyle reminded him of how much energy the Superbowl must take, Stan always shut him up.
Stan had been his best friend all through his school days. They went to college together, where they had become roomies. And then lovers.
Kyle had to remind himself that he loved Stan, that he was waiting for him to return from his tour.
Kyle didn’t want to forget anything before he got home.
“Fade to Grey” by Visage
It was Randy’s funeral.
Sharon was in hysterics, of course. For all of their marital problems, they’d been married for over sixty years. Shelley was trying to hold it together. Stan could tell by the way she was yelling at everyone.
Stan was just relieved.
Randy had been struggling with Alzheimer’s for several years. By the end, he hadn’t even recognized Stan. That had been the worst part.
Now Randy was gone. He was at peace. And when Stan passed on, he knew that Randy would remember his name.
“Hello, Goodbye” by the Beatles
Kyle and Cartman were essentially contradictory.
They argued like their lives depended on it, although their disputes often petered out into them screaming that each other was wrong.
And, as Monty Python pointed out, a contradiction is not the same as an argument.
An argument can be disputed, debated, resolved. A contradiction is purely factual. There is no way to settle it.
That’s how Kyle and Cartman liked it. Because if you never resolved their inherent contradiction, you could never see what was similar about them.
“Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division
“Tell Stan that I break up.”
“Token, it’s just not working out.”
“Cartman, it’s not you, it’s me.”
Wendy had broken up with several men in her short life. Not because she didn’t love them, but because she loved them too much.
She made excuses for her ways, but she never really believed them. She didn’t want to be hurt, so she hurt them first.
It was something lodged in the back of her mind whenever she gave her current ex the slip.
“I Enjoy Being a Girl” by Pat Suzuki
“You should dress up more,” Bebe said, as Wendy stepped out of the bathroom in her prom dress.
“I never have a reason to,” Wendy said, grinning. “Do I look OK?”
“You look more than OK.” Bebe paused. “You know, you’re really beautiful.”
“Yeah, right.”
“No, honestly. If you made a bit more of an effort, you’d be a total knockout.”
“Thank you, Bebe.”
“Jesus, just trying to give you a compliment.”
Wendy looked down at her dress, a half-smile gracing her features.
“Thanks. Where’s your dress?”
“Clark Gable” by the Postal Service
“Now,” Craig said, holding the camera to his face. “Clyde, run up to Tweek, right on the X. Deliver your lines, and then you kiss.”
Clyde muttered something about having to kiss a spastic. Tweek was looking unusually calm, probably because Craig had slipped sedatives into his coffee. Hey, what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
“OK, take one. Action!”
Clyde ran up to Tweek. Tweek turned to face him.
“You came for me.”
“You know what I said, about life being nothing like a movie?”
“Of course.”
“Forget it.” And then Clyde took Tweek into his arms, dipped him low, and kissed him passionately.
Craig hadn’t told him that Tweek’s part had been a girl in the original script. Having gay guys in it made it more artistic. Plus, it was pretty hot.
“Finale: We’ll Be Friends Forever/ What’s Going to Happen” from Scrubs
“You’ll be fine,” Stan said. "Honest. We're you're friends.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, except for Cartman.”
“Ay! Shut up, you black asshole!”
“It’s going to be OK,” Stan repeated. “We’re right here.”
“Thanks, guys,” Kyle said, as he sat in the hospital bed.
“I Can’t Decide” by Scissor Sisters
“What iz your favorite way to keel someone?” the Mole asked.
“I like the aftermath better,” admitted Cartman. “Once I killed someone’s parents, and then I fed their remains to him. It was pretty sweet.”
“You are a seeck fuck.”
“Shut up, you British piece of crap.”
“For ze last time, I am....” The Mole sighed. What was even the point? “You know, you killed me.”
“Then how the hell are you still around, huh?”
“I don’t know. But eet ‘appened! I still have ze scars to prove eet.” He took a puff of cigarette. “Beetch.”
“All Cheerleaders Die” by Switchblade Kittens
“Go, team, go,” Kenny said, as he flipped through his dad’s old Playboy.
“Yeah,” Clyde said. “Listen, I know you guys can only afford shitty porn, but can’t I see the cheerleaders?”
“No.”
Clyde looked around the bare bedroom. The only decorations were a few bikini posters.
“I have Lesbian Cheerleaders 3 back at my house.”
“Well,” Kenny said, “fuck this.”
“A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton
“Have you ever wondered how we ended up where we are?” Stan asked.
“Not really,” Kyle lied into the phone. “Why?”
“No reason. I was just thinking. Weren’t we supposed to go to the same college, live in the same place, and be best friends forever?”
“We are best friends. It’s just that we can only see each other on holidays.”
“Maybe I should move to New York.”
“You don’t have to.” Kyle laughed. “Besides, what’s a thousand miles in this day and age? We talk all the time, and it’s not as if there’s no such thing as a plane.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Stan. “But it’s just not the same.”
“Yeah. I know what you mean.”
“Radium Eyes” by Count Zero
Stan had bright blue eyes.
Stan had blue eyes, and black hair, and perfect white teeth (without the benefit of orthodontia - Kyle could remember Stan laughing at him when they were twelve). He liked sports and the environment, oddly enough. Whenever Kyle reminded him of how much energy the Superbowl must take, Stan always shut him up.
Stan had been his best friend all through his school days. They went to college together, where they had become roomies. And then lovers.
Kyle had to remind himself that he loved Stan, that he was waiting for him to return from his tour.
Kyle didn’t want to forget anything before he got home.
“Fade to Grey” by Visage
It was Randy’s funeral.
Sharon was in hysterics, of course. For all of their marital problems, they’d been married for over sixty years. Shelley was trying to hold it together. Stan could tell by the way she was yelling at everyone.
Stan was just relieved.
Randy had been struggling with Alzheimer’s for several years. By the end, he hadn’t even recognized Stan. That had been the worst part.
Now Randy was gone. He was at peace. And when Stan passed on, he knew that Randy would remember his name.
“Hello, Goodbye” by the Beatles
Kyle and Cartman were essentially contradictory.
They argued like their lives depended on it, although their disputes often petered out into them screaming that each other was wrong.
And, as Monty Python pointed out, a contradiction is not the same as an argument.
An argument can be disputed, debated, resolved. A contradiction is purely factual. There is no way to settle it.
That’s how Kyle and Cartman liked it. Because if you never resolved their inherent contradiction, you could never see what was similar about them.
“Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division
“Tell Stan that I break up.”
“Token, it’s just not working out.”
“Cartman, it’s not you, it’s me.”
Wendy had broken up with several men in her short life. Not because she didn’t love them, but because she loved them too much.
She made excuses for her ways, but she never really believed them. She didn’t want to be hurt, so she hurt them first.
It was something lodged in the back of her mind whenever she gave her current ex the slip.
“I Enjoy Being a Girl” by Pat Suzuki
“You should dress up more,” Bebe said, as Wendy stepped out of the bathroom in her prom dress.
“I never have a reason to,” Wendy said, grinning. “Do I look OK?”
“You look more than OK.” Bebe paused. “You know, you’re really beautiful.”
“Yeah, right.”
“No, honestly. If you made a bit more of an effort, you’d be a total knockout.”
“Thank you, Bebe.”
“Jesus, just trying to give you a compliment.”
Wendy looked down at her dress, a half-smile gracing her features.
“Thanks. Where’s your dress?”
“Clark Gable” by the Postal Service
“Now,” Craig said, holding the camera to his face. “Clyde, run up to Tweek, right on the X. Deliver your lines, and then you kiss.”
Clyde muttered something about having to kiss a spastic. Tweek was looking unusually calm, probably because Craig had slipped sedatives into his coffee. Hey, what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
“OK, take one. Action!”
Clyde ran up to Tweek. Tweek turned to face him.
“You came for me.”
“You know what I said, about life being nothing like a movie?”
“Of course.”
“Forget it.” And then Clyde took Tweek into his arms, dipped him low, and kissed him passionately.
Craig hadn’t told him that Tweek’s part had been a girl in the original script. Having gay guys in it made it more artistic. Plus, it was pretty hot.
“Finale: We’ll Be Friends Forever/ What’s Going to Happen” from Scrubs
“You’ll be fine,” Stan said. "Honest. We're you're friends.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, except for Cartman.”
“Ay! Shut up, you black asshole!”
“It’s going to be OK,” Stan repeated. “We’re right here.”
“Thanks, guys,” Kyle said, as he sat in the hospital bed.
“I Can’t Decide” by Scissor Sisters
“What iz your favorite way to keel someone?” the Mole asked.
“I like the aftermath better,” admitted Cartman. “Once I killed someone’s parents, and then I fed their remains to him. It was pretty sweet.”
“You are a seeck fuck.”
“Shut up, you British piece of crap.”
“For ze last time, I am....” The Mole sighed. What was even the point? “You know, you killed me.”
“Then how the hell are you still around, huh?”
“I don’t know. But eet ‘appened! I still have ze scars to prove eet.” He took a puff of cigarette. “Beetch.”