the (optional) division of the self..

[oteage]

Wow... okay- good day so far, but as for the time i spend at home, dear god, i'll just take the seroquel early tonight.. and how i can get away from it all sooner then i pray to be delivered from it totally.... okay well anyways... Toby has been really nice to me lately, and i don't know why, i think subconsciously i cast a taboo on him.. oh well, i really enjoy it.. and my heart isn't totally melting.. i still have a few pieces left, and i'm confident to be able to hold out... oh who am i kidding... i know i won't be able to and heart break will insue.. god damn this terrible world.. *sigh*... I'm working on it, i guess the perfect perception of life is when you analyse it from a different perspective and therefor see things differently and possibly more in a lucid and clear/reasonable sense.. anyways.. *god CDXX* i'm trying, i swear it... Okay so, i'm happy- and i wish i had my sprite that toby gave me, god, i don't know... i think i like him a lot, but at times i'm not so sure, i don't really care to know right now, i just want to see what happens and if it's worth sticking around for all this time... *sigh* what would i do without you my darling fate, your such a beautiful point of pain in my life... take me soon - or show my joy.. *sigh* oh well.. fuck it.. i'm just here.

bye all,

PS: beth i'm not mad at you i swear, your one of the only things that keeps me in touch... *hugs* i love ya'.h