I'm not that gay, --but you are... -- cross posting from my most favorite-est community E-VA

[oteage]

Wow... hmm- well, this has been a pretty fuckin' cool week-end to enjoy.. Okay- full report as usual. On thursday, I spent my time going to my class and It was pretty stupid because I didn't get much done, and I didn't have much fun at all- I found out that the tape testing date is a lot farther away then I thought, and if I can't get everything the way it should be, I will most probably be asked to leave the class.. Which is pretty fucked up, especially because I'm in a situation where, everyone in the tenors section hates me for being gay, and hardly says a word, or tries to ignore me.. No one even said shit about the fucking practice sheets we were SUPOSE to have been handing in every week, to record the time in which we practiced out music. Since I never received a first-day handout, and no one made sure to ask me, or tell me, or consult with me that I had gotten everything okay with that, in fact, no one said shit about them, like they didn't even exist- no common talk of it- nothing.. so oh well. I just start filling them out every week and I'll have to get andy and bethany to help out and get my act in shape for the fucking test which i'll probably have to take on tuesday, if not- then I might have until thursday.. which would be so handy, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't be working my ass off for it.. okay- anyways.. thursday sucked, and i obviously didn't have any money or weed.. Toby and Beth showed up in Toby's car, and they were honking at me from across the street.. *sigh* well, they said that they had weed, and they wanted to smoke it with me, and I was like *OMG like No way! holy crap this is why i like having stoner buddies... omg, your the greatest!!!* and I hugged Bethamaru, and all had a great time, and got fairly stoned.. heehehehehehehe... anyways- they went home, and said we'd hang out the next day- because there was no school on friday for some reason.. Toby had work, so he showed up later in the eve.. *sigh* we had such a great time, and ended up going to SO many places, and I think I'm really terrible. I like Toby- I mean, really really really like him... god damn' this is the trouble with having a heart.. I don't know if he even thinks of me at all that way.. God I'm getting so desperate for company.. God I could just rip my hair out. I want to be like "Adam... could I like- blow you? Ya' know -- just for like.. and early christmas present for meh?" of course, that's not the issue- I'd be JUST AS HAPPY with Toby. I have to start working out. lol, I think he likes lotz ov' muscle... hmm- i'm so confused.. maybe I should tone up and thin down, and that would bring his eye's full circle? We may see some time soon.. Maybe I can make an offer-. Giving him adam's offer to Toby instead .. HAHAHa... I wonder if he'd take me up on it? I mean, if he's single and horny, and lonely, then WHY NOT pick me?! hmm-- again, I guess the fact remains, that we will see... I hope I hope I hope... God - or something, someone who can be lovely to me, and can love me the way I choose to love others.. *sigh* I don't know... we will see..

i'm gonna smoke some more and then go to sleep, i think i promised my mom i'd go to church with her tomorrow.. I'm only really doing it so I can use their piano- but i don't really mind it.. I mean, it's not like it's something I can't handle... Night all! don't bother calling till after 12 if your reading this... I wish I could call pat some time.. I think it would be super fun to talk to him on the phone.. I mean, like- awesome fun.. I think he'd be so funny to listen to! God, he has an interesting voice.. It's so strange, I've known him for the longest time now, I mean- I met him a little after finding sabi- so- damn.. that must have been a while ago-... well, I guess I might ask him some time sooner or later.. I mean- if he's got all that time to sit on his ass and do nothing.. oh wait--- damn.. he's taking that new job.. and he's gonna do the whole training thing.. well, maybe he'll have some time.. though I'm not sure if I should ask.. oh well, all will be revealed in time.. i hope for the better i guess.. *sigh*

P.S.: I'm enjoying fine green that was $50 for an 1/8th- GOOD GREEN.