letters to various and sundry
Dear roommates,
Please take out the garbage.
Yours truly, Cinderella.
Dear left ear,
Please pop. This passive-aggressive almost-popping bullshit is more irritating than actual pain.
Yours truly, the rest of me.
Dear midterms,
Please be gentle.
Panickedly yours, a student in distress.
Dear Pittsburgh,
I appreciate the summery weather far more than I appreciated the freezing rain, but please remember that it's fall and that the temperature ought to reflect that.
Love, me.
Dear Rest of the world,
I went to a gay wedding this weekend. The couple was so in love and happy to be married, and their marriage neither turned me into a terrible delinquent or ripped the fabric of space-time. Please get on top of legalizing this everywhere.
Love unconditionally, Stephanie
Dear Daddy,
Please learn to just shut up sometimes, your ability to put your foot in your mouth and never realize it while simultaneously embarassing or ostracizing your entire family is mind-boggling. Also, grow some tolerance.
Sincerely, your dearest daughter.
Dear little sister,
You do not *finally understand what true love means*. You are 15. You have been dating this boy for less time than I've been a junior in college. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Dream-crushingly yours, your annoying boyfriendless older sister.
Dear oven,
It was very rude of you to try to cook my arm. Please stop being an asshole.
Bandagedly yours, YOUR MASTER.
Dear Hakuouki and the internet.
Stop distracting me. I have work to do. Why can't I quit you?
♥ /Stephanie
Dear Dan Bergstein,
Your Blogging Twilight series brings joyfullness to my life. Please stop having a real life and post some updates, you are behind three whole weeks.
Gloweringly yours, moi.
Dear school,
I simultaneously am shocked that it's already midsemester and ready for it to be Christmas. Please use some of the thousands of dollars I give you yearly to help me resolve my turmoil.
Love, Stephanie
Dear world,
I don't recall doing anything to merit all the bad luck I've had since getting back to Pittsburgh yesterday. Either clarify or let up, it's ridiculous.
In confusion, me.
Dear Otakon staff,
Please get SID for the musical guest next year.
Kthxbai, a rapidly-growing-obsessed fan.
Dear Youmacon costumes,
Please make yourselves, I am running out of time to do it myself. :P
~Sutefi.
Please take out the garbage.
Yours truly, Cinderella.
Dear left ear,
Please pop. This passive-aggressive almost-popping bullshit is more irritating than actual pain.
Yours truly, the rest of me.
Dear midterms,
Please be gentle.
Panickedly yours, a student in distress.
Dear Pittsburgh,
I appreciate the summery weather far more than I appreciated the freezing rain, but please remember that it's fall and that the temperature ought to reflect that.
Love, me.
Dear Rest of the world,
I went to a gay wedding this weekend. The couple was so in love and happy to be married, and their marriage neither turned me into a terrible delinquent or ripped the fabric of space-time. Please get on top of legalizing this everywhere.
Love unconditionally, Stephanie
Dear Daddy,
Please learn to just shut up sometimes, your ability to put your foot in your mouth and never realize it while simultaneously embarassing or ostracizing your entire family is mind-boggling. Also, grow some tolerance.
Sincerely, your dearest daughter.
Dear little sister,
You do not *finally understand what true love means*. You are 15. You have been dating this boy for less time than I've been a junior in college. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Dream-crushingly yours, your annoying boyfriendless older sister.
Dear oven,
It was very rude of you to try to cook my arm. Please stop being an asshole.
Bandagedly yours, YOUR MASTER.
Dear Hakuouki and the internet.
Stop distracting me. I have work to do. Why can't I quit you?
♥ /Stephanie
Dear Dan Bergstein,
Your Blogging Twilight series brings joyfullness to my life. Please stop having a real life and post some updates, you are behind three whole weeks.
Gloweringly yours, moi.
Dear school,
I simultaneously am shocked that it's already midsemester and ready for it to be Christmas. Please use some of the thousands of dollars I give you yearly to help me resolve my turmoil.
Love, Stephanie
Dear world,
I don't recall doing anything to merit all the bad luck I've had since getting back to Pittsburgh yesterday. Either clarify or let up, it's ridiculous.
In confusion, me.
Dear Otakon staff,
Please get SID for the musical guest next year.
Kthxbai, a rapidly-growing-obsessed fan.
Dear Youmacon costumes,
Please make yourselves, I am running out of time to do it myself. :P
~Sutefi.