(no subject)
So . . . is this what shedding my Pinnochio/Quasimodo persona entails? Life has taken on a new slant, and I'm in completely unfamiliar waters. A lass ten years my junior has taken a rather passionate interest in me, going so far as to claim my manhood as her own, even though she's yet to partake of it beyond a bit of palm action. And somehow my keeping our sweaty acts of exertion to that of a penetration deficient nature has her enthralled. And apparently previous suitors of hers have neither made "dry humping" a practice nor seen fit to want her needs fulfilled over their own. What the hell is with these guys? Give and take, it's not rocket science . . . well, it kind of is, should we begin speaking of math and resources, but let me not get side tracked. Her proclaimed affection for me is something I'm still trying to digest. I care a great deal for her, and hate how much shit she's endured to reach this point, and am more than willing to be a salve for her wounds. Dunno how worthy I am of her trust in me, though, since my family knows I'm not the most reliable due to agoraphobia and depression issues. Gonna try and live up to it, though, since she shouldered a burden that has weighed me down a great deal of my life, and wrapped me in a consoling bear hug so tight it took my breath away in more ways than one. The only fly in this ointment is she's not the most rational of people. But humans aren't given to rationality, normally, and she's not outright dogmatic on those issues, thus I'm no demon for my lack of belief. We've our own quirks, and it seems we can see past them. Is this what a relationship beyond friendship is made of? Still trying to get my bearings, in truth, thinking this a dream while I lie comatose in a hospital. Truly fear that unwrapping my heart will reveal something dark and hard, of little use beyond bludgeoning the asinine and shattering glass houses while I wander through this life.
addendum: While this is a welcome difference from how my life has gone generally, I also fear I'm becoming intimate with a lass whose biological clock is near ringing. To the point where she's telling me I'd be a good dad . . . yeah, I'm still trying to mature in my own right, without adding another life to be responsible for O_O;; Rather glad mini-me has not achieved full mast or long since did so while we've been entertaining one another, all the better to prevent this setting off her alarm. Not from her lack of trying. Damn, I'm sore. A good kind, but also one to think on.
addendum: While this is a welcome difference from how my life has gone generally, I also fear I'm becoming intimate with a lass whose biological clock is near ringing. To the point where she's telling me I'd be a good dad . . . yeah, I'm still trying to mature in my own right, without adding another life to be responsible for O_O;; Rather glad mini-me has not achieved full mast or long since did so while we've been entertaining one another, all the better to prevent this setting off her alarm. Not from her lack of trying. Damn, I'm sore. A good kind, but also one to think on.