On Football Weekends
If there's one thing that bothers me about Gainesville (aside from its unforgivable lack of Mongolian barbecue) it's football weekends. Seriously, I understand our team is awesome, and I know you're all proud and glad we beat *insert opposing team here* and what not, but seriously...
Here's a list of the things I would like to do this weekend:
Buy groceries
Go out for breakfast
Have dinner with a friend
Get an oil change
Look for a new bedspread
Pick up a couple of reams of paper and a filing cabinet
You know what, football fans... I can't do any of it. Because every former gator that isn't mummified decides he or she need to haul his or her orange and blue tail up to Gainesville to tailgate, watch the game, descend on every grocery store in town to buy kegs (seriously - some of the stores closest to the Uni have special keg line), and generally loiter about town ALL BLOODY WEEKEND.
I beg of you, please sober up, stop singing your clever version of the Tennessee school song, cease to pontificate over whether Tebow's virginity is directly correlated to his overwhelming success on the field and STOP FORCING ME TO BE A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOME.
I hate football weekends.
Here's a list of the things I would like to do this weekend:
Buy groceries
Go out for breakfast
Have dinner with a friend
Get an oil change
Look for a new bedspread
Pick up a couple of reams of paper and a filing cabinet
You know what, football fans... I can't do any of it. Because every former gator that isn't mummified decides he or she need to haul his or her orange and blue tail up to Gainesville to tailgate, watch the game, descend on every grocery store in town to buy kegs (seriously - some of the stores closest to the Uni have special keg line), and generally loiter about town ALL BLOODY WEEKEND.
I beg of you, please sober up, stop singing your clever version of the Tennessee school song, cease to pontificate over whether Tebow's virginity is directly correlated to his overwhelming success on the field and STOP FORCING ME TO BE A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOME.
I hate football weekends.