On lone pixie's wings in search of good fortune- A new year
I just want to be me, dance in life and see what's out there. I wish it wasn't so difficult to find my place in the world. You think you belong somewhere, can stay with it for a long time, build a foundation upon it from the greatest passions within. Then just when you have the best thing ever it's snatched away again, and you have to start over.
Start over. Start over.
The words echo and fall silent in a now empty room. You still have yourself and the things you took from your experiences, but everything feels so much less important now that you're back to the beginning again. What did I -work- for? What did I -build-, only to have it come crashing down again? Why do I keep trying when the results are so often the same? I can't go back, but I find it difficult to move forward without holding onto what was so wonderfully familiar and secure. Whether it's work, or relationships, I'm apparently no good at either. I'm ultimately not what others want. Why can't I be my own person and still draw others closely to me? Have them see the great things I am capable of and all that I have to share with all of my heart? I KNOW I have a lot to offer. What does it take to get others to fully realize it too? My loyalty knows no bounds, save for few exceptions in self preservation. But most everyone except family goes away from you in the end. Dad's best advice this year: Look forward, not back."
I want to go back to when things felt possible, when dreams were alive and filled with the magic of hope and the glimmering promise that no single thing could keep me from flying if I believed in it strongly enough. Isn't that what stories of youth often tell you? Nothing is impossible if you truly believe. "Belief is power." [Rayearth- studio Clamp]
Peter Pan revived a dead fairy and reclaimed Neverland, and Hikaru, Umi, and Fuu learned strength in unity to save Cephiro. Cinderella is another fine example.
"A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep. In dreams, you will lose your heartache. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come fly... hmmm... No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true."
But when you get out into the world, does it all just amount to fluff, or is there a definitive truth to it? Some of it comes off as a lot of lofty ideals and imaginative thinking. But I guess if that disappears, you haven't much left. You still have to hold fast to them, but find and maintain a firm foundation to survive. That's the difference between youth and adult.
A flower bloomed and unearthed the need to love and be loved.
The prince took me dancing,
but we lost the melody in my fantasies
The hot-blooded rascal showed me physical desire,
but acted more as a father
The gypsy spoke in great poetry both in motion and verse,
but drifted without a word
The bear shared his home, loyalty, and devotion,
but needed me to be a woman, moved far, and found his own
The awkward boy gave everything he could despite my uncertainty,
but felt threatened by the raven and disappeared
The gothic raven shared odd pleasures and great imaginative culture,
but his heart was full of tricks and lies
The pixie flew in and saved me from the raven,
we spoke of marriage, a home, took our chastity, I thought us inseparable,
but he lost his wings and became a gnome
Now the ever-present heart of the pixie remains deep within, but I am left alone
Now that I am one again, venturing out into the unknown,
I'm scared but excited, hoping I will seek my fortune
I want to know what it is to be my own person
knowing now, I have no one to hold onto
Even after all these encounters, none would stay
There has to be a reason!!
If I show I am of great worth, perhaps there will be something better
I need something I can call -mine-, and stand proud
Time will tell what awaits.
Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost (1874-1963)
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Start over. Start over.
The words echo and fall silent in a now empty room. You still have yourself and the things you took from your experiences, but everything feels so much less important now that you're back to the beginning again. What did I -work- for? What did I -build-, only to have it come crashing down again? Why do I keep trying when the results are so often the same? I can't go back, but I find it difficult to move forward without holding onto what was so wonderfully familiar and secure. Whether it's work, or relationships, I'm apparently no good at either. I'm ultimately not what others want. Why can't I be my own person and still draw others closely to me? Have them see the great things I am capable of and all that I have to share with all of my heart? I KNOW I have a lot to offer. What does it take to get others to fully realize it too? My loyalty knows no bounds, save for few exceptions in self preservation. But most everyone except family goes away from you in the end. Dad's best advice this year: Look forward, not back."
I want to go back to when things felt possible, when dreams were alive and filled with the magic of hope and the glimmering promise that no single thing could keep me from flying if I believed in it strongly enough. Isn't that what stories of youth often tell you? Nothing is impossible if you truly believe. "Belief is power." [Rayearth- studio Clamp]
Peter Pan revived a dead fairy and reclaimed Neverland, and Hikaru, Umi, and Fuu learned strength in unity to save Cephiro. Cinderella is another fine example.
"A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep. In dreams, you will lose your heartache. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come fly... hmmm... No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true."
But when you get out into the world, does it all just amount to fluff, or is there a definitive truth to it? Some of it comes off as a lot of lofty ideals and imaginative thinking. But I guess if that disappears, you haven't much left. You still have to hold fast to them, but find and maintain a firm foundation to survive. That's the difference between youth and adult.
A flower bloomed and unearthed the need to love and be loved.
The prince took me dancing,
but we lost the melody in my fantasies
The hot-blooded rascal showed me physical desire,
but acted more as a father
The gypsy spoke in great poetry both in motion and verse,
but drifted without a word
The bear shared his home, loyalty, and devotion,
but needed me to be a woman, moved far, and found his own
The awkward boy gave everything he could despite my uncertainty,
but felt threatened by the raven and disappeared
The gothic raven shared odd pleasures and great imaginative culture,
but his heart was full of tricks and lies
The pixie flew in and saved me from the raven,
we spoke of marriage, a home, took our chastity, I thought us inseparable,
but he lost his wings and became a gnome
Now the ever-present heart of the pixie remains deep within, but I am left alone
Now that I am one again, venturing out into the unknown,
I'm scared but excited, hoping I will seek my fortune
I want to know what it is to be my own person
knowing now, I have no one to hold onto
Even after all these encounters, none would stay
There has to be a reason!!
If I show I am of great worth, perhaps there will be something better
I need something I can call -mine-, and stand proud
Time will tell what awaits.
Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost (1874-1963)
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.