:(
Time for an update, I guess.
God, this is going to take forever since I'm trying to type correctly in order to learn and maybe one day put it on my resume. And really, that's all that's exciting that's happened here.
I will tell you guys one thing, though. I just got done reading the most god awful horrible thing I've EVER read. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it here but my eldest brother-in-law thinks he can write. So, he puts out these "books" and subjects his family to them. I've been hiding behind the excuse that I was an English major for the past few years and therefore too busy to read anything non-school related. It worked perfectly, until just recently and now I'm having to subject myself to them because, supposedly, the sixth and final book in the Reaper saga is going to be dedicated to me. This may have changed since Tim last was told this but I'm going to be operating under the assumption it is.
The concept is interesting enough. Reaper is a man who has reincarnated many times in preparation for the final battle between Heaven and Hell. He and Zhen, an angel I guess, are the last two children born into a dying world and now they're making their way East toward their fates. Has potential, right?
Now, I'm going to tell you why the fourth book in the series is terrible. First off, Daniel's sentence structure is that of a elementary schooler. Let me give you a sample:
It was time for me to find the road. I walked east until I came to the crossroads. To the north were mesas. To the east lay my road and back on the road I had traveled lay many dead men, but none deserving of sympathy or tears. I turned south and walked for about an hour until I reached the kibbutz.
These are the first sentences in the 405 page...thing, which I think is titled "Reaper on the Highway" or something like that. As you can see, he repeats the word "road" four times. Unnecessary repetition is only the first of his many, many sins. And just to further drive home the child-like sentence structure, let me give you three more sentences:
Just because I like Spiderman doesn’t mean that I am Spiderman. Even with the added powers I had taken I could only jump ten yards on a good day. Today wasn’t even a good day.
Alright, next sin: blatant ripoffs. At one point in this book, after Reaper meets up with Zhen, there is a forty, that's 40, page highway chase that was ripped right out of Matrix: Reloaded. I shit you not. At one point, there's even bullet-time. Let me show you:
Father Cho told me that the sharper my mind became the slower the world around me would become. I never knew what he meant until that very moment. Before I saw the bullets fly I saw the angle of his gun and the movement of his finger pulling the trigger. Before that the world was still and I saw his eye and mind putting his actions in motion. I was quicker than his mind. My body and sword were faster than his thoughts. He was running through water while I was floating on a breeze.
If anyone wants to see it in its entirety, comment and I'll send you that passage. I'd advise against it, though.
Next sin: unnecessary song quotes. On average, there is one quote every seventeen pages. Might not seem too often except that when he does quote, it's either wrong or inapplicable. I don't know about you, but I don't know what the fuck "bevelsbreathing" is. The quote is from Bush's "Superman" and I think the only reason he put it in was because there was a fight going on in the rafters and Reaper's opponent eventually is defeated by being hung by a rafter rope. In addition, when Zhen is giving advice to another character to speak her mind, the quote is from Madonna's "Express Yourself". We get it Daniel, you think you're the wittiest person alive.
Next sin: soul balloon animals. Reaper has the special talent of a "reaver", which means he can take out a person's soul and either let it go, destroy it, or absorb it into himself. Well, in this book, he can take out a person's soul and turn it into the animal they identify with the most. From what I hear, this shit gets ridiculous in the next book.
Next sin: inconsistencies. There are so many inconsistencies it's disgusting. We find out that Zhen, who's Asian btw, was adopted into the Yakuza of LA because "A man named Hirohito(yes, fucking Hirohito) was in charge. He made it widely known that his wife wished to have a child." Later, we meet Zhen's sister and Hirohito's real daughter Matsuki. As if that wasn't bad enough, Reaper and Matsuki talk about how she's not jealous of Zhen's success as a singer. Later, when Zhen is telling Reaper about Matsuki, he asks if she was jealous of Zhen's success. I don't think pre-writing ever occurred to Daniel as something important.
I think that's all I'll foist upon you. For this book at least. From what Tim's told me, book five is worse than four. And who knows what six is going to be like, considering it was just finished. I can't wait.
God, this is going to take forever since I'm trying to type correctly in order to learn and maybe one day put it on my resume. And really, that's all that's exciting that's happened here.
I will tell you guys one thing, though. I just got done reading the most god awful horrible thing I've EVER read. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it here but my eldest brother-in-law thinks he can write. So, he puts out these "books" and subjects his family to them. I've been hiding behind the excuse that I was an English major for the past few years and therefore too busy to read anything non-school related. It worked perfectly, until just recently and now I'm having to subject myself to them because, supposedly, the sixth and final book in the Reaper saga is going to be dedicated to me. This may have changed since Tim last was told this but I'm going to be operating under the assumption it is.
The concept is interesting enough. Reaper is a man who has reincarnated many times in preparation for the final battle between Heaven and Hell. He and Zhen, an angel I guess, are the last two children born into a dying world and now they're making their way East toward their fates. Has potential, right?
Now, I'm going to tell you why the fourth book in the series is terrible. First off, Daniel's sentence structure is that of a elementary schooler. Let me give you a sample:
It was time for me to find the road. I walked east until I came to the crossroads. To the north were mesas. To the east lay my road and back on the road I had traveled lay many dead men, but none deserving of sympathy or tears. I turned south and walked for about an hour until I reached the kibbutz.
These are the first sentences in the 405 page...thing, which I think is titled "Reaper on the Highway" or something like that. As you can see, he repeats the word "road" four times. Unnecessary repetition is only the first of his many, many sins. And just to further drive home the child-like sentence structure, let me give you three more sentences:
Just because I like Spiderman doesn’t mean that I am Spiderman. Even with the added powers I had taken I could only jump ten yards on a good day. Today wasn’t even a good day.
Alright, next sin: blatant ripoffs. At one point in this book, after Reaper meets up with Zhen, there is a forty, that's 40, page highway chase that was ripped right out of Matrix: Reloaded. I shit you not. At one point, there's even bullet-time. Let me show you:
Father Cho told me that the sharper my mind became the slower the world around me would become. I never knew what he meant until that very moment. Before I saw the bullets fly I saw the angle of his gun and the movement of his finger pulling the trigger. Before that the world was still and I saw his eye and mind putting his actions in motion. I was quicker than his mind. My body and sword were faster than his thoughts. He was running through water while I was floating on a breeze.
If anyone wants to see it in its entirety, comment and I'll send you that passage. I'd advise against it, though.
Next sin: unnecessary song quotes. On average, there is one quote every seventeen pages. Might not seem too often except that when he does quote, it's either wrong or inapplicable. I don't know about you, but I don't know what the fuck "bevelsbreathing" is. The quote is from Bush's "Superman" and I think the only reason he put it in was because there was a fight going on in the rafters and Reaper's opponent eventually is defeated by being hung by a rafter rope. In addition, when Zhen is giving advice to another character to speak her mind, the quote is from Madonna's "Express Yourself". We get it Daniel, you think you're the wittiest person alive.
Next sin: soul balloon animals. Reaper has the special talent of a "reaver", which means he can take out a person's soul and either let it go, destroy it, or absorb it into himself. Well, in this book, he can take out a person's soul and turn it into the animal they identify with the most. From what I hear, this shit gets ridiculous in the next book.
Next sin: inconsistencies. There are so many inconsistencies it's disgusting. We find out that Zhen, who's Asian btw, was adopted into the Yakuza of LA because "A man named Hirohito(yes, fucking Hirohito) was in charge. He made it widely known that his wife wished to have a child." Later, we meet Zhen's sister and Hirohito's real daughter Matsuki. As if that wasn't bad enough, Reaper and Matsuki talk about how she's not jealous of Zhen's success as a singer. Later, when Zhen is telling Reaper about Matsuki, he asks if she was jealous of Zhen's success. I don't think pre-writing ever occurred to Daniel as something important.
I think that's all I'll foist upon you. For this book at least. From what Tim's told me, book five is worse than four. And who knows what six is going to be like, considering it was just finished. I can't wait.