Gobuackluck Gobuackluck

Nov 24, 2005 09:28

Or "Gobble - Quack - Cluck" Yes, I'm referring to the call of the Turducken. I've never had one, but they sure sound like fun. Where else but America and when else but Stuff-Your-Face-Obscenely Day would you ever think of stuffing a duck with a chicken and then stuffing a turkey with that chicken-stuffed duck? Nowhere. We are fat asses. Still, the idea of a turducken intrigues me. Turducken Madness!

I now want one for dinner today. Speaking of eating like fat asses and such, I have been consuming enough food to technically put me into the category of "pregnant-zilla." Two days ago, I ate an entire box of mac and cheese for lunch (I've never done that). Then, for dinner, I ate two rolls, a salad, a steak, chicken tenders, and a baked potato. We then went to Graeter's where I had a cup of Toffee Chip ice cream. Yes, I was still fully functioning after that. I'm always hungry and can consume large amounts of food. I'd like to blame it on PMS. Or Jeff, my boyfriend. Until a few days ago, Jeff was Jess, my girlfriend. She has swimmers, apparently.

I'm taking Jeff on Maury next week for the paternity test. I's gonna find my baby's daddy. Little Lunesta Cialis will know her daddy!

*ahem* Back to reality. Here's reality for you: 5 hours in the car to make the trip from Columbus to Cleveland Heights. That's twice the normal driving time. Some asshole in a Geo Metro nearly killed us. I pulled out my best Andretti handling skills and avoided being a skidmark on I-271. Nothing like driving in a snow storm on the busiest driving day of the year. Oh, and after I finally got Jon home, I had to make the 50 minute (normally 35) drive all the way back home.

So, approximately six hours on the road to get to Mom's house. Let's not forget the two hours I spent driving from Cincy to Columbus that morning. Eight hours of driving, 290 miles on the car. That just doesn't add up. Happy holidays, welcome to Ohio.

Happy Turducken Day, y'all!
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