dreamin' doesn't do no good
How, you might ask, was Pittsburgh?
Well, Friday night Chris and I got into the city later than we had planned. There was a little pandemonium and eventually we wound up at a club called Matrix. There were 50 cent mixed drinks. I had two vodka and cranberry juices before stopping. My stopping limit of drinking did not occur before I had my "stereotypical drunk" moment-my emphatic hand gestures managed to connect with Jen's drink-holding arm and I managed to get her to spill her beverage all over the damn floor. Thankfully, it spilled away from us instead of on us.
Alissa and Jen totally tried to pick up the oldest or ugliest men in the bar, but most of them turned out to be nice guys. There was this one that dared to come into physical contact with me (first he placed his hand on my head for a significant period of time before I ducked away from that, after that he seriously touched my butt in the middle of a song and thought he could get away with it...yeah, right). I told him off with a withering glare and my best "mom-voice"-he left me alone, although he still danced with Alissa sometimes. I kept an eye on things, as I was back to being perfectly sober and...you know...me.
Saturday was the Tofueque (Barbeque designed so Vegetarians could eat there-although there was no Tofu present, just Boca Burgers). It went okay. Mostly it was too damn hot and they only had Coke and beer to drink. Alan scrounged a little and made me a very tart mixed drink, but mostly I drank water. Alan also made a fabulous pasta salad and I talked to him about my landladies. He's going to bitch at them for me and see if he can get more of our security deposit back. If he can't, he's going to report them to the Department of Housing-either way, I view this as winning. I'm thrilled he's willing to try to deal with them. I've tried to call them a couple times here and usually Mary won't pick up her phone. She says it's because I'm from a "weird" area code (I call from my cell, so it's a MI number) and she figures I'm a telemarketer or something. Alan has a local number so she won't see him coming.
*sigh* Saturday night Chris and I stayed up all night talking. It was too hot to sleep (as it had been on Friday night as well) and Chris and I really needed to do some talking. He talked about how worried he was about money and his piling credit card bills, his unhappiness with his grades and Pitt and fear of never being able to persue his dreams and go to Grad school. I talked about how hard this move out here to Harrisburg has been and how I feel as if I'm failing at life-no job and no liscence and a degree that's doing me no good, and now I'm not entirely sure if I want to teach or go to grad school or what, and I'm losing touch with all of my friends. He talked about worrying about his health. I talked about worrying about being fat and ugly. Finally, we talked about that least-favorite-of-all-topics, Mirna. But it was okay. He talked about how hurt he was that she's now completely ignoring him, how terrible he felt about some of the things that went wrong in their relationship, how much 4 years of being with her had a detrimental effect to his self-esteem and his ability to talk to people. I talked about how I was worried about the things he never spoke about, the good times they had had, and I was worried I'd never be as good as she was when she was good. I talked about how I was worried and scared now that she was back in Harrisburg that we might run into her somewhere.
Really, it was the talking that was the best part about the trip. We "woke up" in the morning when Jen and Brian did and we couldn't talk anymore. We hadn't gotten any sleep, but showered and went to Qdoba. After lunch, we left to come back to Harrisburg. On no sleep. So, to keep him awake while driving, we talked some more, but mostly about lighter things: movies, music, etc.
We got back to Harrisburg and ate and relaxed a little, watched Family Guy and American Dad. I passed out on the couch around 10pm and he woke me up around 11:30 pm. We both went to bed and slept for a very long time. He woke up to go to work. I woke up and did normal Harrisburg stuff-cleaning, working out, dishes, etc. Life returned to normal. Being back here has put some of the old tension back into Chris and I's relationship, but at least the trip to Pittsburgh helped to alleviate it quite a bit.
It was weird to "visit" Pittsburgh. I've missed it a lot. I've missed seeing familiar, friendly faces. I almost wish I had more time there, just to relax and bum around and see more people and visit all my favorite places. At the same time, I don't want to spend much time there. I want to get used to being here and start accepting this as my home for the next year. But hey, the trip at least did help my homesickness a lot. I feel a lot more centered again. It was kind of like being able to say goodbye to the city, you know, instead of just feeling as if it and I had abandoned each other one random day.
Well, Friday night Chris and I got into the city later than we had planned. There was a little pandemonium and eventually we wound up at a club called Matrix. There were 50 cent mixed drinks. I had two vodka and cranberry juices before stopping. My stopping limit of drinking did not occur before I had my "stereotypical drunk" moment-my emphatic hand gestures managed to connect with Jen's drink-holding arm and I managed to get her to spill her beverage all over the damn floor. Thankfully, it spilled away from us instead of on us.
Alissa and Jen totally tried to pick up the oldest or ugliest men in the bar, but most of them turned out to be nice guys. There was this one that dared to come into physical contact with me (first he placed his hand on my head for a significant period of time before I ducked away from that, after that he seriously touched my butt in the middle of a song and thought he could get away with it...yeah, right). I told him off with a withering glare and my best "mom-voice"-he left me alone, although he still danced with Alissa sometimes. I kept an eye on things, as I was back to being perfectly sober and...you know...me.
Saturday was the Tofueque (Barbeque designed so Vegetarians could eat there-although there was no Tofu present, just Boca Burgers). It went okay. Mostly it was too damn hot and they only had Coke and beer to drink. Alan scrounged a little and made me a very tart mixed drink, but mostly I drank water. Alan also made a fabulous pasta salad and I talked to him about my landladies. He's going to bitch at them for me and see if he can get more of our security deposit back. If he can't, he's going to report them to the Department of Housing-either way, I view this as winning. I'm thrilled he's willing to try to deal with them. I've tried to call them a couple times here and usually Mary won't pick up her phone. She says it's because I'm from a "weird" area code (I call from my cell, so it's a MI number) and she figures I'm a telemarketer or something. Alan has a local number so she won't see him coming.
*sigh* Saturday night Chris and I stayed up all night talking. It was too hot to sleep (as it had been on Friday night as well) and Chris and I really needed to do some talking. He talked about how worried he was about money and his piling credit card bills, his unhappiness with his grades and Pitt and fear of never being able to persue his dreams and go to Grad school. I talked about how hard this move out here to Harrisburg has been and how I feel as if I'm failing at life-no job and no liscence and a degree that's doing me no good, and now I'm not entirely sure if I want to teach or go to grad school or what, and I'm losing touch with all of my friends. He talked about worrying about his health. I talked about worrying about being fat and ugly. Finally, we talked about that least-favorite-of-all-topics, Mirna. But it was okay. He talked about how hurt he was that she's now completely ignoring him, how terrible he felt about some of the things that went wrong in their relationship, how much 4 years of being with her had a detrimental effect to his self-esteem and his ability to talk to people. I talked about how I was worried about the things he never spoke about, the good times they had had, and I was worried I'd never be as good as she was when she was good. I talked about how I was worried and scared now that she was back in Harrisburg that we might run into her somewhere.
Really, it was the talking that was the best part about the trip. We "woke up" in the morning when Jen and Brian did and we couldn't talk anymore. We hadn't gotten any sleep, but showered and went to Qdoba. After lunch, we left to come back to Harrisburg. On no sleep. So, to keep him awake while driving, we talked some more, but mostly about lighter things: movies, music, etc.
We got back to Harrisburg and ate and relaxed a little, watched Family Guy and American Dad. I passed out on the couch around 10pm and he woke me up around 11:30 pm. We both went to bed and slept for a very long time. He woke up to go to work. I woke up and did normal Harrisburg stuff-cleaning, working out, dishes, etc. Life returned to normal. Being back here has put some of the old tension back into Chris and I's relationship, but at least the trip to Pittsburgh helped to alleviate it quite a bit.
It was weird to "visit" Pittsburgh. I've missed it a lot. I've missed seeing familiar, friendly faces. I almost wish I had more time there, just to relax and bum around and see more people and visit all my favorite places. At the same time, I don't want to spend much time there. I want to get used to being here and start accepting this as my home for the next year. But hey, the trip at least did help my homesickness a lot. I feel a lot more centered again. It was kind of like being able to say goodbye to the city, you know, instead of just feeling as if it and I had abandoned each other one random day.