The Eagle of the Ninth
So I have contracted an obsession with the works of Rosemary Sutcliff, who wrote approximately a million historical children's/YA novels set in, among other places, ancient Roman Britain.
No. This does not properly demonstrate how exciting I find this. She wrote books set in ancient! Roman!!!! BRITAIN!!!!!!! (exclamation points times infinity!!!!) With politics! And explorations of colonialism and ethnic identity and slashiness and semi-archaic language!!!!
And one of them - The Eagle of the Ninth - recently got made into a movie! The movie is called The Eagle, and as the shortened title suggests, it simplifies basically everything in the book: irons out the interesting colonial politics, destroys a lot of the character nuances (...and gets rid of all the female characters. WTF, movie?), and exchanges a satisfyingly twisty plot for a plot that doesn't make any sense.
In both book and movie, the basic plot is this: Marcus, a former centurion, wants to go north of Hadrian's Wall with his slave Esca to retrieve a Roman legionary eagle which one of the tribes up there has gotten a hold of.
But in the book, Marcus has a plan.
"My slave BFF Esca and I will go north of the wall, disguised as eye salvers, and I will make use of my extensive knowledge of the local language to chat up everyone we meet in hope of finding traces of the lost Eagle. Also I will free Esca first, because it would be stupid to take a slave across the wall, where he could easily free himself by betraying me. Plus he's my BFF so I should free him anyway."
It's crazy, but it just might work!
Whereas in the movie, Marcus has, uh, this:
"My slave Esca WHO HATES ME and I will go north of the wall, where I will be totally dependent on him because I don't speak a word of the local language. Cover story? No true Roman needs a cover story! And no true Roman frees slaves, either!"
It's crazy but...no. It's just totally, totally crazy.
But despite being inferior the book in every way (and you should all read the book! The book is awesome!), the movie is still worth watching. Because, 1) it's set in ancient! Roman!!!! Britain!!!!! and we need to encourage the movie industry in this sort of endeavor; and, 2) it's the slashiest movie EVERTY-EVER. It's even slashier than the book, and the book contains the line "I am the centurion's hound, to lie at the centurion's feet." Consider:
1. There's a scene where a physician tells Esca that he needs to hold Marcus down harder. "Harder, damn you!"
2. And after they're north of the wall and Marcus is totally at Esca's mercy, there's a scene where Esca forces Marcus to his knees and yanks his head back by the hair and offers to let the Seal Warriors slit his throat. I'm pretty sure that all the changes between book!Esca and movie!Esca can be explained by the filmmakers' desire to make this scene happen.
3. And then there's another scene where it turns out Esca hasn't betrayed Marcus to the Seal Warriors after all, and Marcus gets all choked up and is all "I thought I lost you!"
Um, movie!Marcus, I hate to break this to you, but you never had him in any way that counts. He's always hated you, and the movie doesn't bother to explain when or where or why he stopped. Although clearly he did. At some point. For no apparent reason.
But WHATEVER, consistent characterization is presumably another thing that no true Roman cares about. Turn off your brain! Enjoy the epic slashiness and the beautiful shots of the highlands already!
No. This does not properly demonstrate how exciting I find this. She wrote books set in ancient! Roman!!!! BRITAIN!!!!!!! (exclamation points times infinity!!!!) With politics! And explorations of colonialism and ethnic identity and slashiness and semi-archaic language!!!!
And one of them - The Eagle of the Ninth - recently got made into a movie! The movie is called The Eagle, and as the shortened title suggests, it simplifies basically everything in the book: irons out the interesting colonial politics, destroys a lot of the character nuances (...and gets rid of all the female characters. WTF, movie?), and exchanges a satisfyingly twisty plot for a plot that doesn't make any sense.
In both book and movie, the basic plot is this: Marcus, a former centurion, wants to go north of Hadrian's Wall with his slave Esca to retrieve a Roman legionary eagle which one of the tribes up there has gotten a hold of.
But in the book, Marcus has a plan.
"My slave BFF Esca and I will go north of the wall, disguised as eye salvers, and I will make use of my extensive knowledge of the local language to chat up everyone we meet in hope of finding traces of the lost Eagle. Also I will free Esca first, because it would be stupid to take a slave across the wall, where he could easily free himself by betraying me. Plus he's my BFF so I should free him anyway."
It's crazy, but it just might work!
Whereas in the movie, Marcus has, uh, this:
"My slave Esca WHO HATES ME and I will go north of the wall, where I will be totally dependent on him because I don't speak a word of the local language. Cover story? No true Roman needs a cover story! And no true Roman frees slaves, either!"
It's crazy but...no. It's just totally, totally crazy.
But despite being inferior the book in every way (and you should all read the book! The book is awesome!), the movie is still worth watching. Because, 1) it's set in ancient! Roman!!!! Britain!!!!! and we need to encourage the movie industry in this sort of endeavor; and, 2) it's the slashiest movie EVERTY-EVER. It's even slashier than the book, and the book contains the line "I am the centurion's hound, to lie at the centurion's feet." Consider:
1. There's a scene where a physician tells Esca that he needs to hold Marcus down harder. "Harder, damn you!"
2. And after they're north of the wall and Marcus is totally at Esca's mercy, there's a scene where Esca forces Marcus to his knees and yanks his head back by the hair and offers to let the Seal Warriors slit his throat. I'm pretty sure that all the changes between book!Esca and movie!Esca can be explained by the filmmakers' desire to make this scene happen.
3. And then there's another scene where it turns out Esca hasn't betrayed Marcus to the Seal Warriors after all, and Marcus gets all choked up and is all "I thought I lost you!"
Um, movie!Marcus, I hate to break this to you, but you never had him in any way that counts. He's always hated you, and the movie doesn't bother to explain when or where or why he stopped. Although clearly he did. At some point. For no apparent reason.
But WHATEVER, consistent characterization is presumably another thing that no true Roman cares about. Turn off your brain! Enjoy the epic slashiness and the beautiful shots of the highlands already!